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There is this wonderful lady for whom i am falling very fast. We both are very old fashioned and nothing is concrete yet as she does not want to start a relationship until she has her mind clear and feelings straight (not too long ago she got out of a non existing relationship). She knows i like her and that i want to pursue something serious with her. I am always very outspoken on what i think about her and how i feel when she is around. For the last three weeks i have been sending things to her work and she liked it. The first time i sent flowers from a website, it was not what i expected but she did like them, second week i sent her Sharis berries and a card which she also liked. Last week i went to look for what i think are the most beautiful flowers (peonies) and sent her a very nice arrangement which she totally loved. There is chemistry between us and i know that she likes me too. I am fine with waiting as i believe she is worth every second but i don't want to stop the attention, this is the only way i can objectively show her my emerging feelings and i love it when i make her feel good as well. Now the question is about the details. What can i do next? I don't want to be lame while sending flowers again, i will eventually do it again but i want to send her something else that could be different and special. I was thinking of a care package but i don't know. Can you guys share some ideas? Can you ladies share what was something that you really liked? My budget is not very big but i want something nice worthy of a wonderful lady :-). Please help

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torturedartist
There is this wonderful lady for whom i am falling very fast. We both are very old fashioned and nothing is concrete yet as she does not want to start a relationship until she has her mind clear and feelings straight (not too long ago she got out of a non existing relationship). She knows i like her and that i want to pursue something serious with her. I am always very outspoken on what i think about her and how i feel when she is around. For the last three weeks i have been sending things to her work and she liked it. The first time i sent flowers from a website, it was not what i expected but she did like them, second week i sent her Sharis berries and a card which she also liked. Last week i went to look for what i think are the most beautiful flowers (peonies) and sent her a very nice arrangement which she totally loved. There is chemistry between us and i know that she likes me too. I am fine with waiting as i believe she is worth every second but i don't want to stop the attention, this is the only way i can objectively show her my emerging feelings and i love it when i make her feel good as well. Now the question is about the details. What can i do next? I don't want to be lame while sending flowers again, i will eventually do it again but i want to send her something else that could be different and special. I was thinking of a care package but i don't know. Can you guys share some ideas? Can you ladies share what was something that you really liked? My budget is not very big but i want something nice worthy of a wonderful lady :-). Please help

 

Stop sending ****!!! Don't send another thing, for a very long time. You're coming across as desperate. You've made it clear that you like her. The question is, why should she like you? Because as long as she likes you back she can look forward to a life of receiving ****?

 

That's not a good reason.

 

Any man can send stuff to a woman. You don't have to be anyone special to do that.

 

Down the road, if the things work out, she's going to be spending a lot of time with you, during which your behavior will have a large impact on her overall mood and wellness. And, she's going to risk having a child with you (i.e., sex).

 

Are you worthy? Are you in her league? If your answer is, no, or I think so, what you need to do is hit the gym and start educating yourself as to the ways of the world, and the way a man should behave, and what women really want, and please, for the love of God...

 

stop sending her ****!

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This not the fantasy world of TV and movies... in the real world, women who say they are not ready for a relationship really mean it. And buying gifts will not make her magically change her mind.

 

Google the phrase "nice guy" - you have a lot of reading to do. Then find another woman who feels about you the way you feel about her.

 

If they don't want you, give them nothing.

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I think many are confusing this with a relationship advice. I have it covered and do not need any cynical perspective. The question is very simple, specific and stipulated in the last sentence, everything else is just a background. If you read "the game" and feel that women are just part of a "game" then maybe the one who needs relationship advice is you. Lets not forget you all have a mother ;-). I am not buying her interest, she already is/was, i just decide to be respectful of her choices. Not everything is about scoring and getting numbers guys, there are people who still prefer to base their lives on a moral foundation. Still hoping for some good advice that goes "to the point ". I will look at objective messages too just not pragmatism/cynicism, relationships is an area where pragmatism/cynicism does not work. Cheers

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There is this wonderful lady for whom i am falling very fast. We both are very old fashioned and nothing is concrete yet as she does not want to start a relationship until she has her mind clear and feelings straight (not too long ago she got out of a non existing relationship). She knows i like her and that i want to pursue something serious with her. I am always very outspoken on what i think about her and how i feel when she is around. For the last three weeks i have been sending things to her work and she liked it. The first time i sent flowers from a website, it was not what i expected but she did like them, second week i sent her Sharis berries and a card which she also liked. Last week i went to look for what i think are the most beautiful flowers (peonies) and sent her a very nice arrangement which she totally loved. There is chemistry between us and i know that she likes me too. I am fine with waiting as i believe she is worth every second but i don't want to stop the attention, this is the only way i can objectively show her my emerging feelings and i love it when i make her feel good as well. Now the question is about the details. What can i do next? I don't want to be lame while sending flowers again, i will eventually do it again but i want to send her something else that could be different and special. I was thinking of a care package but i don't know. Can you guys share some ideas? Can you ladies share what was something that you really liked? My budget is not very big but i want something nice worthy of a wonderful lady :-). Please help

 

i don't want to stop the attention -- It's one thing to be giving attention and it's another to go overboard. You sent things to her office 3 weeks in a row and she liked it, but it will get old. Just because it's working, doesn't mean you should keep doing it. And, what happens when you're tapped out for a particular week and she's expecting something and it doesn't happen? You don't want things to be expected, you want to surprise her now and again. That's more fun.

 

And, be careful about possibly smothering her. And, coming on too strong. It needs to be balanced.

 

Don't rush this. Give it a little space. Spending quality time with her will go a long way. Time is valuable and a great gift to a woman. Take her somewhere that she's been wanting to go or do. Bond through activities, hobbies. Buy her little things when you're out and about. If you're at the fair, buy her a stuffed animal or trinket. Mix it up a little.

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i don't want to stop the attention -- It's one thing to be giving attention and it's another to go overboard. You sent things to her office 3 weeks in a row and she liked it, but it will get old. Just because it's working, doesn't mean you should keep doing it. And, what happens when you're tapped out for a particular week and she's expecting something and it doesn't happen? You don't want things to be expected, you want to surprise her now and again. That's more fun.

 

 

 

And, be careful about possibly smothering her. And, coming on too strong. It needs to be balanced.

 

Don't rush this. Give it a little space. Spending quality time with her will go a long way. Time is valuable and a great gift to a woman. Take her somewhere that she's been wanting to go or do. Bond through activities, hobbies. Buy her little things when you're out and about. If you're at the fair, buy her a stuffed animal or trinket. Mix it up a little.

 

Thank you :-)

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Thank you :-)

 

I'd like to point something else out to you, if you're doing so much of or all of the work here, you're not going to be able to give her an opportunity to show you things and not get a real sense of her continued level of interest. She needs to able to demonstrate to you too and observe objectively. Keep doing little things, yes, but give her a chance too at it. It may not be gifts to you from her, but in other ways and she may be doing it but you're not really getting all the enjoyment you could because you're so focused on showing her with attention.

 

It's kinda like when a person who likes to talk alot is having a conversation with you, they're so busy thinking about what they are going to be saying next, that they aren't hearing you.

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I think many are confusing this with a relationship advice. I have it covered and do not need any cynical perspective. The question is very simple, specific and stipulated in the last sentence, everything else is just a background. If you read "the game" and feel that women are just part of a "game" then maybe the one who needs relationship advice is you. Lets not forget you all have a mother ;-). I am not buying her interest, she already is/was, i just decide to be respectful of her choices. Not everything is about scoring and getting numbers guys, there are people who still prefer to base their lives on a moral foundation. Still hoping for some good advice that goes "to the point ". I will look at objective messages too just not pragmatism/cynicism, relationships is an area where pragmatism/cynicism does not work. Cheers

 

I think it's great what you're doing. It's heartwarming and seductive at the same time.

 

I wish more men were like this instead of so stingy and guarded. I say keep it up.

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angel.eyes

Your heart is in the right place, and I for one, would be incredibly grateful to receive all three gifts!

 

But now that I've stopped swooning over the peonies, a few thoughts:

 

Is she as excited about you and the budding relationship as you are about her? Do you have the impression that she reciprocates your feelings? If she shares your feelings, she'll love the gifts and welcome them. If she's not interested in you, they'll make her uncomfortable and leave her feeling awkward and pressured. From what you describe, it's the former, but you know the dynamic and situation better than we do.

 

Second, I assume you're going on dates with her during this process? So, you're learning about her and her interests. Start tailoring your gifts and gestures to what you're learning she likes. The fact that you're listening and paying attention to what she shares about herself will have a big impact...arguably a bigger impact than the specific gift itself.

 

Third, switch it up a bit. Flowers and strawberries (...and good chocolate:)) are great. It doesn't always have to be something material though. It can be a special experience--e.g. a meaningful heartfelt conversation that builds emotional closeness after walking somewhere with a beautiful vista.

 

Finally, don't get into an arms race with yourself. Right now, you're trying to outdo yourself each week. At some point, that will probably become unsustainable...unless you plan to make this a weekly habit for life. That's an option, but few are going to choose this route. So, unless it's going to be a permanently regular gesture, make gift-giving less predictable, and try to tie it to something special (acknowledgement of some achievement she had at work, a big presentation, dating three months, you just got back from a business trip and are thinking of her, etc.). And switch up the gift! I've gotten my boyfriend a really nice cigar, but I've also just stuck a personal note on his favorite candy bar (it's an unusual brand) and hidden that in the pocket of his jacket as a surprise gift.

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