neo557 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Hey everyone, I'm new to this site and in need of some advice. I welcome any feedback, but would really be interested in how women view my dilemma. I'm a 20-something male virgin, which is label that has caused me extreme self-esteem issues. I suffered from social anxiety in college, which interfered with my ability to make friends and have romantic relationships. It wasn't that I was devoid of positive qualities, but rather that my extreme anxiety and tense demeanor was off-putting to men and women alike. Since college, I've worked hard to address my social anxiety, and I'm far less awkward than I used to be. In fact, I recently ventured into online dating, having enjoyed some nice lunch and dinner dates over the last few months. My problem is that I'm still extremely self-conscious of my virginity, so much so that I constantly worry whether I will ever have a sexual experience. I feel deficient for not having this experience, fearing that the women I date will look down on me for not finding my way in this regard. Despite having overcome most of my social anxiety, I can't seem to find true self-worth knowing that I'm a virgin at this late age. It doesn't help that my friends constantly make fun of me for this. My question is: how would other women react to finding out a guy they're dating is a virgin at such a late age? And should I be so self-conscious of my virginity? Sorry for the long post. Any positive feedback or advice is welcome. Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyBug Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Gosh, if I were your age and I had found me a virgin male, I'd crap myself with glee. I waited a while as well. Unfortunately, virginity is unappreciated these days - you're better off being a total freak. Sad. There are actually more guys than who think who're virgins at your age, either because they're socially anxious or religious. Nothing wrong with that whatsoever, so please don't pay any mind to those who may ridicule you. The RIGHT girl is going to be very happy that you're "all hers" and didn't stick it in 237 women before her. You needn't worry about any other women and what they think. If they have a problem with it, move on! Also, once you find someone and "it's time," you're going to be more comfortable than you think, as long as you let your feelings towards her build and not try to rush it. Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyBug Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Sorry about the spaces above. Not sure what's wrong, and I can't seem to edit it! Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Relax and stop wearing your status on your sleeve. Do what feels natural. First time sex (meaning the 1st time two partners have sex with each other) is awkward. All that crap in romance novels about the guy rocking her world the 1st time are fiction. It's a biological instinct. You will be fine if you keep your mouth shut & don't announce your status. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Hey everyone, I'm new to this site and in need of some advice. I welcome any feedback, but would really be interested in how women view my dilemma. I'm a 20-something male virgin, which is label that has caused me extreme self-esteem issues. I suffered from social anxiety in college, which interfered with my ability to make friends and have romantic relationships. It wasn't that I was devoid of positive qualities, but rather that my extreme anxiety and tense demeanor was off-putting to men and women alike. Since college, I've worked hard to address my social anxiety, and I'm far less awkward than I used to be. In fact, I recently ventured into online dating, having enjoyed some nice lunch and dinner dates over the last few months. My problem is that I'm still extremely self-conscious of my virginity, so much so that I constantly worry whether I will ever have a sexual experience. I feel deficient for not having this experience, fearing that the women I date will look down on me for not finding my way in this regard. Despite having overcome most of my social anxiety, I can't seem to find true self-worth knowing that I'm a virgin at this late age. It doesn't help that my friends constantly make fun of me for this. My question is: how would other women react to finding out a guy they're dating is a virgin at such a late age? And should I be so self-conscious of my virginity? Sorry for the long post. Any positive feedback or advice is welcome. First of all, I'd stop thinking as virginity as a negative thing. I think men and women should value their virginity regardless of the reason it remains in tact. Secondly, why reveal that fact? When you become intimate with a woman, just start with the basics the first time. You don't have to display a full portfolio of prowess on the first or even second date or whenever it happens. The first time is awkward for the woman as well usually. If you keep your nervousness and anxiety in check, it will come naturally to you. Don't put pressure on yourself. If the woman picks up on the fact that you're inexperienced, you simply say, "I'm a faster learner, teacher" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
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