kyle77 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Alright so there is this girl I like and she likes me, however there is also someone else. They were never boyfriend and girlfriend but they had a thing before I met her. She let me know that she doesn't want to commit to anything because there is this other guy who is overseas and will be back at the end of summer for the start of school. So she basically told me that she likes both of us, so I said why don't I leave this up to you then and she told me to not leave it up to her. How should I approach this? I like her and could see this going somewhere but at the same time it seems as though she doesn't like me enough to forget about this other guy. Ideally I want to date this girl and not just have a fling with her, but right now that seems like my only option? Link to post Share on other sites
DaisyBug Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 If you proceed...see you in a few months under the "Heartbreak" forum. Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 She's being honest and telling you upfront that she has another interest. The reason she doesn't want you leaving it up to her is bc she'll feel guilty if you two get involved and she bails in a few months. Basically, it sounds like she's interested but won't make a committment bc she needs to see how things pan out when he returns. Do you want to take a chance on falling for someone who may walk away? (bc I'm not sure you can do casual from your post.) Link to post Share on other sites
Author kyle77 Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 Here's the thing I could do casual, I've done casual before it's not a big deal to me. However, this is the type of girl that I would much rather date. Personally, there aren't many girls that I actually want to date, most I'd rather just do something casual, so when a girl I actually want to date comes along I get a little overexcited and start to overthink everything. Link to post Share on other sites
Author kyle77 Posted July 7, 2015 Author Share Posted July 7, 2015 Any more insight? Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Never date a woman who does not have tunnel vision for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 (edited) Alright so there is this girl I like and she likes me, however there is also someone else. They were never boyfriend and girlfriend but they had a thing before I met her. She let me know that she doesn't want to commit to anything because there is this other guy who is overseas and will be back at the end of summer for the start of school. So she basically told me that she likes both of us, so I said why don't I leave this up to you then and she told me to not leave it up to her. How should I approach this? I like her and could see this going somewhere but at the same time it seems as though she doesn't like me enough to forget about this other guy. Ideally I want to date this girl and not just have a fling with her, but right now that seems like my only option? Do you really want to be with a woman who leaves important decisions for herself up to you? Do you want to date her while feeling insecure about her and whether she will dump you when the other guy comes back? That's not going to be fun . . . I'd say you'd want a woman who knows what she wants, and when she's not sure, opts to stay centered and focused on her needs and not string men along. Edited July 7, 2015 by Redhead14 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Do you really want to be with a woman who leaves important decisions for herself up to you? Do you want to date her while feeling insecure about her and whether she will dump you when the other guy comes back? That's not going to be fun . . . I'd say you'd want a woman who knows what she wants, and when she's not sure, opts to stay centered and focused on her needs and not string men along. Agreed. If she is flip-flopping now, imagine when that other guy comes back. Think about it, the flip-flopping and uncertainty in her is unattractive and a world of trouble for you in the near future. Link to post Share on other sites
xcupid Posted July 7, 2015 Share Posted July 7, 2015 Why don't you look for someone who is interested in you? If you date her even casually and develop feelings for her and she ditches you for the other guy you're going to go through a lot of hurt. Link to post Share on other sites
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