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Ladies, this is how you write a bad dating profile.


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Consider this a segway or a part 2 to my earlier thread regarding OLD and telltale signs. The following woman's profile is a telltale sign of bitterness and drama.

 

I was going through profiles this evening and happened across this woman (yes Im open to dating older women) I screen capped her profile body and left out her pics to protect her identity. Anyways, shes in her mid 30s and is moderately attractive...but lord oh lord...the stuff she writes is a major turn off and shes obviously bitter.

 

Despite the fact that she prefaces her profile by saying she isnt rude or b!tchy...she came across as just that. There's so many problems that I cannot even touch on them all.

 

I kinda feel sorry for her that shes so jaded and demanding. And no offense to the actually nice and decent single mothers out there...but Im gonna be very very honest with what I say next.

 

This woman is in her mid 30s, doesnt look like a model, has a toddler, sounds very bitter, and just is downright b!tchy. She's not most guys top picks, and most decent guys will pass right over her profile because of how negative she sounds. She's trying to call a lot of shots, especially with her own expectations of how a guy should look, despite her whining about not wanting to be seen as a piece of meat.

 

Why message her when I can message the nice 20-something with no kids and no jaded outlook....or the 40-something with older kids and who just wants to have fun casually dating again?

 

Ladies, if you want to find decent men online. Dont sound like this woman! Decent guys will run the other way if you do.

Edited by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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PhillyGuy4046

I never understood how a woman who is ok looking with a kid can demand things in her profile

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The sad thing about it is that such kind of profile isn't even that rare to come across on online dating sites. My favorite is the classic "I love sarcasm" where sarcasm is an excuse/pc word when it really means rude/bitchy.

This is part of the reason I gave up on OLD. Too many, crazies and weirdoes.

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I would not even read a profile that length, and in the first paragraph it says something like "honest, not rude. chances are we may not get along" in other words she is opinionated and rude, and too bad if that is a problem because she wont make any effort to get along with people.

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I dunno, I feel like a woman with a small child needs to be MORE picky than anyone else.

 

Just not in the ways she's listed....

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Personally I think its great.

Straightforward and to the point.

NO sugar coating and no nonsensical "girly" fluff.

She says what she wants and what she doesn't.

 

If more were half as honest, then dating would be a lot easier.

 

She is obviously a smart woman who happens to have a child.

I do not see bitterness, I see pragmatism.

A woman with a child needs to find a partner, that is going to meet certain standards.

 

I just do not buy into this, "beggar's cannot be choosers" attitude that is voiced here, whenever we talk about anyone less than a hot 10, who has standards and filters.

 

She wants what she wants, I guess if it doesn't happen, she and her child will survive very well regardless.

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If I were a guy, liked her pics and fitted her criteria I'd mail her.

I found some of that pretty funny.

She can articulate and has an expectation that I (If I were a man) should be able to also.

I like the fact she's laid that all out there rather than having a cutesy profile and is thinking all of that behind the scenes which is often the case. I'd rather share some amusing nightmare date stories and see how we got on.

It's nowhere near as jaded sounding as some of the men's profiles I have seen though - not by a long shot.

 

Plus, I would also know she is pretty serious about dating, unlikely to be a flake nor telling porkies about herself. She has spirit too so conversation online and in person is likely to flow.

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If I were a guy, liked her pics and fitted her criteria I'd mail her.

I found some of that pretty funny.

She can articulate and has an expectation that I (If I were a man) should be able to also.

I like the fact she's laid that all out there rather than having a cutesy profile and is thinking all of that behind the scenes which is often the case. I'd rather share some amusing nightmare date stories and see how we got on.

It's nowhere near as jaded sounding as some of the men's profiles I have seen though - not by a long shot.

 

Plus, I would also know she is pretty serious about dating, unlikely to be a flake nor telling porkies about herself. She has spirit too so conversation online and in person is likely to flow.

 

^^Agree with Gemma....and to those who would be turned off or think she's rude, or skip right over it, that was precisely her point for writing a profile like that! YOU would not be a good match for HER!

 

Look, obviously she has been doing OLD for while and was getting bombarded with messages. Men writing nothing more than "Hi," or "You're so hot!!" And other such mundane messages. She wants to avoid men like that.....they're not for her.

 

She wants a man with some depth, and to smiley, you said her profile was too long for you so you would not read.... well fabulous, because you would not be a good match for her either then, so she just eliminated one more and saved herself some time (had she had a shorter, more cutesy profile, and you wrote to her).

 

She also appears to be a strong, independent woman, a bit of a ball buster and prone to sarcasm. All in good fun! Many men love that in a woman, and those are the men she wants to meet and hopes write to her! Men who think it's rude and take offense need not apply!

 

So don't you see guys, writing a profile like that was actually smart. She was being her authentic self....and wants only those men who would appreciate her for being her authentic self.

 

You think she's rude? Fab....don't write to her, SHE does not want to hear from you either. THAT was the whole point of her writing a profile like that.

 

On the other hand, if you are a strong man, who has a good sense of humor, who enjoys some good fun banter, who does NOT get offended easily, who appreciates an honest, strong, straightforward woman who tells it like it is without a lot of fluff.....who finds her attractive and got a kick from reading her profile, then you will mostly write to her...which is also fab, because YOU are the type of man she wants to hear from!

 

Bottom line....will a profile like that turn many men off? Yes! No doubt. But that was the point. If you are that man who would get turned off, think she's rude, opinionated, then SHE does not want to hear from you anyway.

 

So she just saved YOU time, and herself time. You should be thanking her. Next!

Edited by katiegrl
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I don't see her profile text, maybe the moderators removed it? Yes, a negative profile is a no no. If you want to get results, as a man and as a woman, leave all the crap out and sound positive.

 

Anyway, women over 40 with older kids, don't look to just have "casual fun". I take offense at this stereotype.

 

And women with kids can have criteria, yes. Why wouldn't we? If I date, I date to get a good, loving relationship, and maybe marriage. If not, there is not point in dating at all, I can buy a freaking vibrator.

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I don't see her profile text, maybe the moderators removed it? Yes, a negative profile is a no no. If you want to get results, as a man and as a woman, leave all the crap out and sound positive.

 

Anyway, women over 40 with older kids, don't look to just have "casual fun". I take offense at this stereotype.

 

And women with kids can have criteria, yes. Why wouldn't we? If I date, I date to get a good, loving relationship, and maybe marriage. If not, there is not point in dating at all, I can buy a freaking vibrator.

 

BluEyel, too bad they removed it...it was quite hilarious IMO. Sarcastic, a bit of a ball buster....:bunny:

 

Honest straightforward, to the point. A woman who knows what she wants, and who does not wish to waste time by reading/responding to messages from men who are not right for her.

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autumnnight

I didn't see the profile either, but IMO it's all in the attitude.

 

Nothing wrong with having standards or even being picky. But you don't HAVE to write it in a way that makes you seem like a jerk. Like I said, I didn't read the text, but here's an example of what I mean:

 

"I prefer a fit woman who is well-proportioned"

 

vs.

 

"Fat chicks need not apply"

 

Or this:

 

"I am looking for a real relationship. However, my kids are young, so right now I am making being a mom a high priority."

 

vs.

 

"My kids come first, deal with it or move on."

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The only time this is ever disappointing to me is when the guy is handsome. Then it's like spoiled cake. What a bummer.

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I didn't see the profile either, but IMO it's all in the attitude.

 

Nothing wrong with having standards or even being picky. But you don't HAVE to write it in a way that makes you seem like a jerk. Like I said, I didn't read the text, but here's an example of what I mean:

 

"I prefer a fit woman who is well-proportioned"

 

vs.

 

"Fat chicks need not apply"

 

Or this:

 

"I am looking for a real relationship. However, my kids are young, so right now I am making being a mom a high priority."

 

vs.

 

"My kids come first, deal with it or move on."

 

It wasn't even close to that.....it was full of sarcastic humor....all in good fun IMO.

 

I spose it's all in the way one interprets it though. If a guy is overly sensitive, gets offended easily, then he'll think it's rude and skip it, and create threads criticizing her for writing it. :bunny::bunny:

 

Apparently many men would rather a chick be phony and disingenuous.... and post a fluffy, sweet peaches and cream profile... rather than be her true authentic self and tell it to them straight...lest they think she's rude, opinionated, etc.

 

To each his own.

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LoveRefreshed

I read that post last night and am loving the number of girls who are defending it. There's a saying that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

 

That post sounds so overwhelmingly negative, and likely to be how she is in person that I wouldn't want to waste my time around someone like that. The cynical wording, the CAPSLOCK TEXT, etc is just too much.

 

There is so many ways to articulate such a point without sounding like a ball buster. No one [guy apparently] wants to date a ball buster.

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loveweary11

Because it was so boring, yet whiney at the same time, I couldn't make it to the end.

 

Terrible. No matter how good looking, that's definitely a "do not talk to" for me.

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I read that post last night and am loving the number of girls who are defending it. There's a saying that you catch more flies with honey than vinegar.

 

That post sounds so overwhelmingly negative, and likely to be how she is in person that I wouldn't want to waste my time around someone like that. The cynical wording, the CAPSLOCK TEXT, etc is just too much.

 

There is so many ways to articulate such a point without sounding like a ball buster.

 

***No one [guy apparently] wants to date a ball buster***.

 

Ha ha......you might be surprised, ask my boyfriend......:bunny::bunny::bunny:

 

He loves the banter...all in good fun!

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introverted1

I read it before it was pulled down. It's not a profile I would write even if my circumstances were the same.

 

BUT.

 

As Katie said, it is a smart profile in that it is only going to attract a small handful of guys who enjoy that woman's particular style.

 

And isn't that the point? Not to be appealing to a vast number of people but to (hopefully) find that one person out there who "gets" you and who you get?

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autumnnight
I read it before it was pulled down. It's not a profile I would write even if my circumstances were the same.

 

BUT.

 

As Katie said, it is a smart profile in that it is only going to attract a small handful of guys who enjoy that woman's particular style.

 

And isn't that the point? Not to be appealing to a vast number of people but to (hopefully) find that one person out there who "gets" you and who you get?

 

Actually your last paragraph is what a lot of people don't seem to understand. Well, maybe their goal IS to pull in as many people as possibly regardless of compatibility (because all women have a vagina, right? ;) )

 

But for most people, part of the profile is to check for compatibility.

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toscaroscura

I missed it before they removed it.

 

But I do have to agree with "the women defending it" here. I'm 36 and I have a 10 year old son. And I have done the whole "oh, be all generic and cute and heavens, don't offend anyone!" on my dating profiles.

 

But I'm introverted. I'm downright grouchy, a lot. I have a fat arse. I am really goofy and silly sometimes. I like to rant about nerdy things. I have weird taste in music and sometimes drink entirely too much wine in one sitting.

 

But in my "sweet, generic" profile none of that came across. I mentioned being nerdy, but mostly in that cute, non-threatening way. Tee hee.

 

And it sucked. Because then I had to consciously work at slooooowly peeling away the mask I have carefully constructed for myself, for the man I was dating. That whole dance of trying to reveal who I really am but not too fast lest I scare him away.

 

Nowadays I am a LOT more honest, and if that "scares" some guys away, SO BE IT! It's a lot less exhausting for me in the long run, to just be myself.

 

If a man doesn't like my profile, then we weren't EVER a match, full stop. Dating became way better once I stopped "trying to make fetch happen" with clearly incompatible guys. I might get far fewer dates, but that is ok, because who I do get, I KNOW they dig me. :)

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LookAtThisPOst
If more were half as honest, then dating would be a lot easier.

 

In the case of THIS woman...she made it "easier" for men to NOT want her at all and made it easier for THEM to pass her up.

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Rejected Rosebud

I don't even understand why a couple of you guys spend your time looking at women's profiles that you think are crappy and then getting all outraged about them and writing about it here??? Of course you can do it!! But why? Like you said OP you can find many women better looking with no kid and without a bitter attitude so why is this one even important to you? I am sure if I wanted to spend my time finding lame guy profiles and sharing them on here I could but why?? :confused::confused:

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toscaroscura
In the case of THIS woman...she made it "easier" for men to NOT want her at all and made it easier for THEM to pass her up.

 

No, she made it easier for YOU to pass her up. You can't speak for every man any more than I can speak for every woman!

 

And even if she was alienating every guy in existence, on purpose, why is it so irksome to you?

 

Why is there so much "How dare she?!" when some men see a fat/unattractive/single mom/etc having standards?

 

Some guys even take time to message us, as a sort of "public service". "You know, a girl like you really shouldn't have standards." How hard is it to just move along?

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