mongo Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 theres a girl who works in a store nearby ive been talking to. im gonna ask her out. how much you wanna bet i get rejected? Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyGuy4046 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 theres a girl who works in a store nearby ive been talking to. im gonna ask her out. how much you wanna bet i get rejected? Well just try to have some small talk before asking her out Link to post Share on other sites
TunaInTheBrine Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 theres a girl who works in a store nearby ive been talking to. im gonna ask her out. how much you wanna bet i get rejected? Who cares if you get rejected? The outcome is immaterial. By you simply going up to a woman and stating your interest, you have done your duty as a man. She can do whatever she wants with that information now. You can go to bed at night knowing you didn't hold back, and that you let a woman know you are a man who notices her. You should do that more often. It's fun. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 theres a girl who works in a store nearby ive been talking to. im gonna ask her out. how much you wanna bet i get rejected? Change your thinking to "I have everything to gain (someone to date) and really nothing to lose (accept rejection). Remember, risk=reward.. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 (edited) theres a girl who works in a store nearby ive been talking to. im gonna ask her out. how much you wanna bet i get rejected? If you go into it with negativity, the result will almost definitely be negative. You project what you're feeling. Be confident and direct. That will at least give it the best chance you can give it. If she turns you down, it's not a rejection, you don't know what it is. Maybe she already has a boyfriend, or she doesn't want to date anyone or she's a serial killer or, or, or . . . And, she can't reject YOU, she doesn't know YOU yet. No one can "reject" someone they don't know. So don't view "turn downs" as rejections. That's too negative a word for that and causes you to be hesitant in approaching anyone. If they've gotten to know you, that's when a rejection could/should hurt. And, in those cases, it just wasn't mean't to be. The parties weren't right for each other. That's no one's fault. It is what it is. Edited July 5, 2015 by Redhead14 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 You need to work on your self esteem. Why are you betting against yourself? That's not an attractive quality. Man up and ask her out, directly not passively. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 theres a girl who works in a store nearby ive been talking to. im gonna ask her out. how much you wanna bet i get rejected? Why would you approach anything you wanted that way? Work on your self-confidence. No girlfriend, no date, no outside person can fix that. You have to do that first to get the things you want. That attitude alone sets you up for failure. Next even if she does turn you down. Asking people out is a numbers game. A positive, self-confident person knows that a "no" just means you are one step closer to a yes. And if it comes right on first ask like this, well at least you didn't waste any thing in a relationship with her. A better person is out there for you if she says no. Anyway try to change your thinking, THEN ask. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Jonp219 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 I say this to my friends every time we see a cute girl lol. Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Just do it and if she rejects you, who cares? You don't even know her. You don't know if she's worth feeling humiliated over even for a minute. Getting rejected by someone you don't even really know is a non-loss. It's not a -1. It's a no harm/no foul. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author mongo Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 optimism is admirable and all, ive tried to be positive for years now..but it has gained me nothing. i have a hard time believing that thinking changes the outcome. everytime i make these approaches i cant get the years of dismissive rejection out of my head. the last girl i took out on a date bailed in the middle of dinner. she said im tired take me home. we were there like 20 minutes. didnt even want to go watch a free movie. never spoke to me again. thats the prime example of my treatment from women. theres something about me they just cant stand. im polite, i make conversation, im honest, people tell me im handsome, i work, ive got a nice car, etc. but they always find some fault, i dont know what it is. not a single one will be honest with me. my own mother is a narcissist who torments me. she hates me. ive done nothing to deserve it. you people are nuts. i guess ive developed a rejection complex. but its the result of how ive been treated. but im REQUIRED to have a better attitude by everybody. i can approach that girl but ill get rejected most likely. yeah ill man up and do it but whats the point? ill just go home and drink beer and feel like crap again. im no better for it. how many times can a man be beat down and keep getting back up? my god Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Mongo, Be more specific about the date that bailed halfway thru dinner. Give a detailed acct. Maybe someone can offer you pointers or make suggestions that will help. Thus far you are saying, "Eh, what's the point. I'm destined to be lonely and it'll never get better, blah, blah, blah." < That's not meant in a derogatory manner, but if you perceive someone trying to help you as a putdown, I'm not sure what you're wanting. I hope that you engage in interesting, meaningful conversation, rather than delving into past heartache and doom and gloom stories when you're on a date. We have limited information based on your post. So if you truly want honest opinions in hopes of helping you sort out where you are going wrong, you're going to have to be more forthright with us and not assume we're insensitive and throwing blanket statements at you . 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Not trying to be mean, but wondering realistically: how do you think keeping a negative, defeatist attitude will work out for you? I think a lot of us are saying you can commit to changing it which isn't easy but gives you a chance to get what you want. Or you can keep the negative attitude and be sure that you won't get what you want. Honestly, not trying to be mean. I can hear you're frustrated and trying to help. Link to post Share on other sites
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