LPS Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 hi been seeing my boyfriend for 7 months and i've seen him every weekend since we met...(something we've both agreed to and enjoyed)....last week we had a normal weekend and this week he's decided not to see me with no apparent reason..he saw friends last night and i thought i could see him tonight but nope doesn't want to see me until next weekend!....obviously if he said he wanted a break that would be fine but he's not given me any reason for it.....I' actually feeling very low as i feel like its me...i have spoken to him via text but hes not his usual self and i'm getting a weird vibe off it all.....why wouldn,t he say he needed space coz then i wouldnt get so hurt! Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 hi been seeing my boyfriend for 7 months and i've seen him every weekend since we met...(something we've both agreed to and enjoyed)....last week we had a normal weekend and this week he's decided not to see me with no apparent reason..he saw friends last night and i thought i could see him tonight but nope doesn't want to see me until next weekend!....obviously if he said he wanted a break that would be fine but he's not given me any reason for it.....I' actually feeling very low as i feel like its me...i have spoken to him via text but hes not his usual self and i'm getting a weird vibe off it all.....why wouldn,t he say he needed space coz then i wouldnt get so hurt! Because he would rather fade than be direct. Pretty crappy, but it is what it is. He wants out.....he may have met someone else....sorry. If it were me, "I" would pull back. Don't text, don't call.....nothing. The ball is in his court. Again, I'm sorry.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author LPS Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 i havent been very cool about it sorry so ive asked him if theres anything wrong and he promises me there isn't and definitely definitely wants to see me next weekend Link to post Share on other sites
DatingDee Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 hi been seeing my boyfriend for 7 months and i've seen him every weekend since we met...(something we've both agreed to and enjoyed)....last week we had a normal weekend and this week he's decided not to see me with no apparent reason..he saw friends last night and i thought i could see him tonight but nope doesn't want to see me until next weekend!....obviously if he said he wanted a break that would be fine but he's not given me any reason for it.....I' actually feeling very low as i feel like its me...i have spoken to him via text but hes not his usual self and i'm getting a weird vibe off it all.....why wouldn,t he say he needed space coz then i wouldnt get so hurt! I would feel a bit weird too. Maybe if you give him a bit of space for a couple of days, before asking him directly if he's doing ok. Maybe he'll appreciate that you respect him enough to give him some space. I do agree it would be the best if he just told you directly that he needs space. But not all guys are good at communicating their needs like us women do If you chose to give him space for a few days, try to focus on you and enjoying yourself for a few days and not worrying too much. It could be that he just needs a bit of a breather. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LPS Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 forgot to mention hes still responding to my texts straight away, hes just saying less but stll saying he loves me etc...and when ive gone quiet he texts me are you o.k?etc Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Do you see each other at all during the week? Perhaps this weekend, since you've spent the last 7 months worth of weekends together, he had something he wanted to do with his friends and his weirdness is him avoiding a protracted dramatic scene with you for wanting to spend one weekend with his friends. I think you have had a great track record that seems to point to the fact that he likes you enough to put his friends on hold every weekend for you. The fact that you're melting down because of one weekend says that you don't have enough going on in your life to not make this about how not good enough you are for 48 hours. He most likely didn't talk about taking a break because he isn't taking a break--he's taking a weekend to hang with his friends. Your friends shouldn't be so far adrift from you that you can't go hang with them and do something with them this weekend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 forgot to mention hes still responding to my texts straight away, hes just saying less but stll saying he loves me etc...and when ive gone quiet he texts me are you o.k?etc Okay maybe I jumped the gun a bit.... He may not want a "break" per se...but one thing IS for sure.....he has got something going on this weekend...that he does not want you to be a part of. Has he told you what he's doing this weekend? Are you guys in the U.S.? It's a big holiday/party weekend here - 4th of July. Link to post Share on other sites
Author LPS Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 no don't see him in the week at all...he does go out with his friends either in the week or on one day in the weekend and then i'll go the following day...but to be honest he's not really the going out type or i'll go out with them all Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Pressure from the guys to ditch the GF so they can go out and hit on chicks....pretty obvious. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 no don't see him in the week at all...he does go out with his friends either in the week or on one day in the weekend and then i'll go the following day...but to be honest he's not really the going out type or i'll go out with them all So what is he doing this weekend? Has he told you? Have you asked? I would have...not to pry, but because I am interested in his life. Before bf and I moved in together, we would both share what we were doing ....when not spending time together. Still do, even tho we live together. Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I think you'd have reason to complain if he barely spent time with you or didn't do anything with you 3 weekends out of a month. But that's not the case. As I said above, 7 straight months of seeing each other every weekend is a pretty strong message that he's into you. 48 hours of him not seeing you isn't indicative of anything but him hanging out with some friends--and he's entitled to do that with or without you. It doesn't mean he's going to forget he's in a relationship with you nor does it mean he's the one who is going to be hitting on chicks. He knows how to say "I'm not interested/available". Living in fear that without you being there, he will forget that he's with you is really something you should be examining--because it means that you don't trust his judgment without you being there. "I trust him, I just don't trust his friends" = "I don't trust his judgment", and if that's the case, why be with someone you can't trust out of your eyesight? Leads me to ask the question: what were the circumstances of you two meeting in the first place? Was he with someone and dumped them to take up with you? Then I could see why you're living in fear of him being 48 hours out of your watch. Don't borrow trouble. Link to post Share on other sites
Mascara Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Because he would rather fade than be direct. Pretty crappy, but it is what it is. He wants out.....he may have met someone else....sorry. If it were me, "I" would pull back. Don't text, don't call.....nothing. The ball is in his court. Again, I'm sorry.... Well THAT escalated quickly OP, why not just pick up the phone and talk to him? You'll drive yourself crazy second guessing it. And most importantly - make plans yourself for the weekend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
aloneinaz Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Well THAT escalated quickly OP, why not just pick up the phone and talk to him? You'll drive yourself crazy second guessing it. And most importantly - make plans yourself for the weekend. This^^^ You've dated for 7 months in a committed relationship. Don't stew on it. Call him and ask him what's up. To me, if he's breaking the normal routine of seeing you each week, he should of called you and told you why and what's going on so you wouldn't feel this way. It's VERY poor communication on his part. I certainly would be pissed if at 7 months my GF pulled this. Call him and let us know the outcome. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 hi been seeing my boyfriend for 7 months and i've seen him every weekend since we met...(something we've both agreed to and enjoyed)....last week we had a normal weekend and this week he's decided not to see me with no apparent reason..he saw friends last night and i thought i could see him tonight but nope doesn't want to see me until next weekend!....obviously if he said he wanted a break that would be fine but he's not given me any reason for it.....I' actually feeling very low as i feel like its me...i have spoken to him via text but hes not his usual self and i'm getting a weird vibe off it all.....why wouldn,t he say he needed space coz then i wouldnt get so hurt! The only real way to know is to let him come to you. You've communicated with him now and know that he's doing other things this weekend. He is entitled to do that. Yes, it would be nice to know exactly what's what. But you don't. You wait until he confirms that you two will see each other next week. You suspect he wants space. Give it to him. It's better to err on the side of caution in these situations. You've already been texting him and still feel something is off. Don't reach out to him anymore. Let him realize something is up with you and if he is concerned at all about you, he will show you. Reaching out only temporarily makes you feel better if he responds, but you'll still be wondering if he would have done it first. Think about how this is making you feel. It's hurting you and making you feel less than special. Focus on your needs and whether he meets them. When you even think someone is wanting or needing space, you become NASA and let them contact Houston when they realize they have another problem. When he reaches out to you, you need to control your hurt feelings though. Since you don't even know what's what, you don't want him to feel that you're punishing him for no reason and there may be a good reason, who knows. If he contacts you soon and makes plans for the next weekend with you, I don't think you really have anything to worry about yet. It's just a blip. Don't overreact. If he doesn't contact you for say this week at all, continue to sit back and ride it out. He will call. And, when he does, this is the time to tell him that this has hurt you and what your needs are from there on out. And, then do some more observation to see if he does try to meet your needs. If he's doing this often or his communication pattern is changing or slowing down. You may need to decide whether he is the guy for you. Get focused on yourself and do things for yourself so you aren't stressing over this. You need to stay clear headed. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 The thing that would bother me is he did not warn you ahead of time he was changing your plans. If you've been having a routine for 7-8 months and you expect to spend such and such day with him then some preparation is always needed and you block your time for him. It would piss me to be told last minute we're not getting together. Next time you speak to him let him know you would appreciate to know ahead of time so you can turn around and plan something else. As for if he's up to something only time will tell. Lets see how he behaves in the next month. Link to post Share on other sites
sandylee1 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 It seems like you're making a big deal out of this to me. He just wants a weekend to see his friends. I understand you don't see each other during the week, but the weekend is different. The only thing I would have probably wanted in your position , is a bit of notice that we wouldn't be hanging out , so I could make plans of my own for the weekend. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author LPS Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 It was just last night he was out with friends but tonight hes in his house just doing the normal things that we do together!he swears everythings okay but im not quite sure Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 It was just last night he was out with friends but tonight hes in his house just doing the normal things that we do together!he swears everythings okay but im not quite sure Based on what you've posted, you're making way too much out of this. Really. Let the man have a Saturday evening in his man cave. Don't turn into an octopus. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ltjg45 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 I do agree that he hasn't given you enough notice ahead of time but you are certainly making way too much of a deal over it. 7 months of weekends together is quite a lot of time. However, I will add that guys has no problems playing this game for that long and then all of the sudden change gears by messing around. But I don't want to make assumptions. Just wait it out, leave him be for the weekend, find something else for you to do, and see how he acts in the next couple of weeks. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Because he would rather fade than be direct. Pretty crappy, but it is what it is. He wants out.....he may have met someone else....sorry. If it were me, "I" would pull back. Don't text, don't call.....nothing. The ball is in his court. Again, I'm sorry.... Wow.. Definitely jumping the gun there to announce the death sentence of the relationship based on very little information I would hesitate to say everything is fine though, as those "vibes" can sometimes be worth paying attention to. I agree that OP should give him some space though and see what he comes up with next week. Enjoy spending time with your friends or alone. No need to make a big deal at this stage which might come across as clinginess. He said everything is fine, so give the benefit of the doubt. Be cautious but not over cautious and do not jump to conclusions. Link to post Share on other sites
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