Aurora_227 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Hey everybody! About 2 months ago I went through a breakup. It was hard, but I'm in this sort of limbo where I'm not quite ready for another relationship but moving forward from the last one. I recently added the app called Tinder (I know, laugh at me!), but I know several people who have gotten dates and/or relationships from Tinder. A nice guy has been messaging me and we exchanged numbers. He has even asked to go out paddle boarding (I guess maybe this is kind of a date?). Is it normal to be nervous? If I went (and he really does seem interested), I'm a little scared that I'll be comparing to my last relationship. HOWEVER, this new guy seems pretty cool, and if anything, perhaps I have a new friend. I just want to make sure that I give future dates a chance. Do you have any tips or advice for re-entering the dating world? Link to post Share on other sites
Vercetti Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Go for it. If hit it off with someone, ex will be last thing on mind. Really, why should you waste time because someone in past betrayed expectations. Yes it's normal to be nervous. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted July 4, 2015 Share Posted July 4, 2015 Hey everybody! About 2 months ago I went through a breakup. It was hard, but I'm in this sort of limbo where I'm not quite ready for another relationship but moving forward from the last one. I recently added the app called Tinder (I know, laugh at me!), but I know several people who have gotten dates and/or relationships from Tinder. A nice guy has been messaging me and we exchanged numbers. He has even asked to go out paddle boarding (I guess maybe this is kind of a date?). Is it normal to be nervous? If I went (and he really does seem interested), I'm a little scared that I'll be comparing to my last relationship. HOWEVER, this new guy seems pretty cool, and if anything, perhaps I have a new friend. I just want to make sure that I give future dates a chance. Do you have any tips or advice for re-entering the dating world? You haven't even met him yet and you're worrying about projecting your past relationship into this one? If you're doing that already, you'll continue to do it after you start dating him and will be less than objective about identifying whether or not he is going to be a good dating partner anyway. You need to focus on your needs and dating goals right now. Once you are clear in your head about these things, and observing whether this one is meeting your needs or showing signs that he may be able to and his dating goals are the same as yours, you'll be able to take it one day at a time and with less anxiety. Go on the date, be in the moment, have fun an observe him as an individual. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aurora_227 Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 You haven't even met him yet and you're worrying about projecting your past relationship into this one? If you're doing that already, you'll continue to do it after you start dating him and will be less than objective about identifying whether or not he is going to be a good dating partner anyway. You need to focus on your needs and dating goals right now. Once you are clear in your head about these things, and observing whether this one is meeting your needs or showing signs that he may be able to and his dating goals are the same as yours, you'll be able to take it one day at a time and with less anxiety. Go on the date, be in the moment, have fun an observe him as an individual. Thank you, both of you! Yes, I know it probably seems a little silly. I'm worried because I have done this once before and it projected into a past relationship. I'm unsure if that would have worked out anyway, but it's in the past and doesn't really matter now. I'll focus on being in the moment. Life's short anyway, and I don't like those feelings of being anxious. Thanks for your insight! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aurora_227 Posted July 4, 2015 Author Share Posted July 4, 2015 Go for it. If hit it off with someone, ex will be last thing on mind. Really, why should you waste time because someone in past betrayed expectations. Yes it's normal to be nervous. This is true! For some reason, I'm worried that if I start to move on the ex will come back. Not even sure if I would take him back as the trust has already been broken, but still. However, this may not even happen, so I'd like to just focus on new dates. I think fear of the unknown has me. But I will be just fine. You're right! Link to post Share on other sites
PhillyGuy4046 Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 Hey everybody! About 2 months ago I went through a breakup. It was hard, but I'm in this sort of limbo where I'm not quite ready for another relationship but moving forward from the last one. I recently added the app called Tinder (I know, laugh at me!), but I know several people who have gotten dates and/or relationships from Tinder. A nice guy has been messaging me and we exchanged numbers. He has even asked to go out paddle boarding (I guess maybe this is kind of a date?). Is it normal to be nervous? If I went (and he really does seem interested), I'm a little scared that I'll be comparing to my last relationship. HOWEVER, this new guy seems pretty cool, and if anything, perhaps I have a new friend. I just want to make sure that I give future dates a chance. Do you have any tips or advice for re-entering the dating world? I wouldn't take a dating app like Tinder too seriously because it's doesn't seem like a serious way to meet people since it's all based on looks I would use a regular dating site Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aurora_227 Posted July 5, 2015 Author Share Posted July 5, 2015 I wouldn't take a dating app like Tinder too seriously because it's doesn't seem like a serious way to meet people since it's all based on looks I would use a regular dating site I wasn't really trying to use it to get dates. We were just goofing around on it and it just so happened I hit it off with this guy. But thank you for the input! I'll keep it in mind. Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted July 5, 2015 Share Posted July 5, 2015 All you can really do is take a shot and see what happens Aurora. I was recently moving to Florida, and before I even found a place down here, I decided to take a 5 hour detour straight off the plane to see someone I had unexpectedly hit it off with online. And you never really know for sure how it's going to go in person but it went so well in this case I ended up completely relocating to her city two weeks later. Kind of frightening to think what I would have missed if I never took that chance. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Aurora_227 Posted July 11, 2015 Author Share Posted July 11, 2015 All you can really do is take a shot and see what happens Aurora. I was recently moving to Florida, and before I even found a place down here, I decided to take a 5 hour detour straight off the plane to see someone I had unexpectedly hit it off with online. And you never really know for sure how it's going to go in person but it went so well in this case I ended up completely relocating to her city two weeks later. Kind of frightening to think what I would have missed if I never took that chance. Sorry I'm just now getting back with you! I haven't been on in a little while. That's fantastic, good for you! I'm glad to hear it's working out. I did go on my date with him and he seems really nice. We have a lot in common. I'm not sure if it's a long-term thing yet (it was one date, after all) but who knows. I think I'll give it at least a few more dates and then decide. Link to post Share on other sites
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