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The downside to being beautiful...


Hopeful30

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I think its unfair that in society we always focus on the benefits of beauty and the negatives of being below average looking. I have some friends, both male and female, who hate being as good looking as they are and I wanted to bring that forth here (no immature comments please, if u dont like this thread, move on.)

 

Downsides:

 

Everyone always stares at you and you cant have a normal anything without many eyes on you (imagine? I would f*ckn hate that)

People assume you are high maintenance or look down on others because youre better looking than them

People assume you are out of their "league" wtf is a league?

Romantically people are intimidated or too nervous to apprpach you.

People think you have life easy because youre beautiful

People dont take you seriously because (as above) they think beauty = solution to everything

You become a trophy or are sought after to be a trophy

Those who DO approach you notice nothing but your looks or are too too focused on them to discover who you really are

People treat you differently for whatever reason

Life can feel superficial because your looks are the first and last thing people notice about yoU

People are always surprised if youre single, as if youre not allowed because you can have anyone you want

Edited by Hopeful30
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loveweary11

Downsides:

 

Everyone always stares at you

People assume you are high maintenance or look down on others because youre better looking than them

People assume you are out of their "league" wtf is a league?

Romantically people are intimidated or too nervous to apprpach you.

People think you have life easy because youre beautiful

People dont take you seriously because (as above) they think beauty = solution to everything

You become a trophy or are sought after to be a trophy

Those who DO approach you notice nothing but your looks or are too too focused on them to discover who you really are

People treat you differently for whatever reason

 

No one takes you seriously at work

Other women are constantly trying to get you to screw up and bring you down

Lots of weirdos "approaching" in public

People call you "anorexic."

Sexual harassment is routine

People notice the slightest flaw or imperfection

Lots of women automatically hate you

If you aren't talkative or are shy, people assume you're a stuck up b|tch

If there's a psycho on the street they notice you, too

 

There are a LOT of hardships very good looking women go through that people just don't notice. Having been with these types of women ever since college, I can safely say they have it the same as the rest of us.

 

We may not get the royal treatment they do everywhere they go, but they have a long list of problems we don't have.

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Like anything there are pros and cons but being good looking opens up a whole lot more doors.

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loveweary11

I couldn't asd this because someone posted, but....

 

Seeing most of my exes coming home from work in tears because of other women or sexual harassment has really made me sensitive to this issue.

 

Also, that's why I started the "don't call people anorexic" thread. It's very hurtful to them. My ex wife was called that by stranger in a grocery store and it bothered her for days. Mind you, she ate with me every meal. Hardly anorexic.

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I couldn't asd this because someone posted, but....

 

Seeing most of my exes coming home from work in tears because of other women or sexual harassment has really made me sensitive to this issue.

 

Also, that's why I started the "don't call people anorexic" thread. It's very hurtful to them. My ex wife was called that by stranger in a grocery store and it bothered her for days. Mind you, she ate with me every meal. Hardly anorexic.

 

If I may ask, what does accusations of anorexia have anything to do with beauty?

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It's difficult for the poor person to sympathize with the rich person who says his money is too heavy to carry around.

 

 

I'll listen to what you have to say though. So far it doesn't sound that bad.

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loveweary11
If I may ask, what does accusations of anorexia have anything to do with beauty?

 

Petite girls who are in shape (therefore beautiful) are called anorexic quite often by overweight people, despite the fact that they aren't.

 

But best to drop that topic. We had that discussion in my thread about it and it gets heated.

 

I'm with Krieger... i think Im a 7 too. ha ha

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Eighty_nine

I've wondered about this. I'm "averagely" good looking and I feel bothered by men on a regular basis. I can't imagine how often exceptionally beautiful women are harassed by men.

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SycamoreCircle

This is bunk. No, I will not move on. You wrote that warning because you've encountered dissension to this position before. Rightly so. It's a misleading frame of thought.

 

We meet people everyday whose appearance, background and experiences stand in opposition to our own, for whatever reasons. You deal with it. I spoke to a grown black man the other day who obviously felt uncomfortable talking to me. I have no idea why. I can speculate.

 

I sometimes feel plain talking to bodybuilders. Why? I've been lifting all of my life and I don't have the sort of gains some of these professional guys claim. So...I feel a bit silly...a bit counterproductive, you might say. You get over it.

 

It's not beauty that sets us apart. It's Otherness.

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There are pro's and cons to nearly everything in life.

 

Im fairly beautiful and im telling you when I dont want attention its on my face in my body language that I don't want to be approached you know its fairly easy and im not lying im quite beautiful so dont give me that its hard to be pretty crap.

 

You don't want assumptions made about you? Prove them otherwise.

 

No matter what we live in a world where everyone criticizes everything, you walk someone will say why don't you run you'll arrive faster you run someone will say slow down before you fall.

 

Lots make assumption over knowledge and thats just how people are ignore it.

Edited by Omei
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The downside to being beautiful...

 

Is that it is obvious, as gifts go, and everyone notices and reacts immediately and instinctively aligning with their unique psychologies. It's the reality that humans are visual first, of course save for blind people, and all that attends to that. I can certainly appreciate the burdens room-stopping beautiful people deal with; in comparison, to me anyway, being invisible can be a gift all its own. I guess it all depends how we perceive things. I first came to this conclusion when beginning to encounter celebrities in my travels and seeing how they would be swarmed by people. My thoughts were how refreshing it would be to go about one's life and not be 'on' all the time, like we regular folks do.

 

I've heard some complaints from those room-stoppers who've confided in me but, in general, they feel very fortunate and appreciative that their genetics provided them with such obvious gifts. I think we all receive gifts in life, with some being more obvious than others. It's what we do with them and how we perceive them ourselves which largely determines our personal path.

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walkingonair
I think its unfair that in society we always focus on the benefits of beauty and the negatives of being below average looking. I have some friends, both male and female, who hate being as good looking as they are and I wanted to bring that forth here (no immature comments please, if u dont like this thread, move on.)

 

Downsides:

 

Everyone always stares at you and you cant have a normal anything without many eyes on you (imagine? I would f*ckn hate that)

People assume you are high maintenance or look down on others because youre better looking than them

People assume you are out of their "league" wtf is a league?

Romantically people are intimidated or too nervous to apprpach you.

People think you have life easy because youre beautiful

People dont take you seriously because (as above) they think beauty = solution to everything

You become a trophy or are sought after to be a trophy

Those who DO approach you notice nothing but your looks or are too too focused on them to discover who you really are

People treat you differently for whatever reason

Life can feel superficial because your looks are the first and last thing people notice about yoU

People are always surprised if youre single, as if youre not allowed because you can have anyone you want

 

 

 

Agreed!Also you don't have much female friends and the ones you do have are jealous of you and aren't really your friends.It's really not easy :(

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I couldn't asd this because someone posted, but....

 

Seeing most of my exes coming home from work in tears because of other women or sexual harassment has really made me sensitive to this issue.

 

Also, that's why I started the "don't call people anorexic" thread. It's very hurtful to them. My ex wife was called that by stranger in a grocery store and it bothered her for days. Mind you, she ate with me every meal. Hardly anorexic.

 

Yeah I have been called that a lot also... a former HR manager at my old firm called me into her office and accused me of it.

 

I asked her how SHE would feel if her superior called HER into their office and called her fat or overweight (which she was).

 

She responded "that" was different.

 

We were friends too which is probably why I did not get fired after responding back the way I did.

 

Oh and the reason she asked me if I was anorexic was NOT because she was concerned about my health (I asked her that). It was simply because she thought I was too thin!

 

And this was an HR manager!

Edited by katiegrl
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I think its unfair that in society we always focus on the benefits of beauty and the negatives of being below average looking.

 

You can thank human biology and psychology (and advertisers!) for that. It's how humans are hard-wired for potential mating purposes. Every human brain is genetically programmed to recognize "genetic" perfection (and why genetic beauty is photo-shopped on magazine covers).

 

A person's "attractive" quotient advertises their genetic perfection level (whether it be high or low in the eyes of the beholder) and how healthy they are. Basically, beauty is a biological mechanism to attract the perfect mate -- a mate who has good, strong genes (genes that are disease and dysfunction-free) to procreate with.

 

I think beauty is used as a marketing tool in our society which has negative side effects. First off, those magazine covers featuring stick-thin models and celebrities isn't always accurate, thanks to photoshop. And suddenly those false images become society's standard of beauty to strive for, which are unrealistic standards by the way. And the downfall of that unrealistic beauty standard is the creation of eating disorders and other psychological problems that effects both genders. Suddenly, to be considered ugly by those superficial, photoshop standards leads people to believe they are worthless and not lovable, not viable romantic or lifelong partners. Being ugly, in other words, is worse than death.

 

Fortunately, you have companies that fight this superficial beauty standard. Like Dove, which launched The Dove Campaign for Real Beauty which features women of all shapes and sizes in its advertisements.

 

As a short, overweight, ugly woman I really can't empathize with the beautiful people. Sorry. People see you and immediately attribute positive personality traits to you; trust-worthy, reliable, responsible, loveable, fun, etc. whereas ugly people are seen as unrealiable, un-trustworthy, as though there are the moral equivalent of a low life. Ok, some ugly people ARE that, but my point is that in general, ugly people get negative personality traits attached to them, like you see in Ally Sheedy's character Allison Reynolds in The Breakfast Club movie; the so-called basket case when that wasn't her at all! But her high school peers viewed her that way because she wasn't part of the "in" crowd. Is that fair? No. I mean, I've seen the movie Heathers. I can relate to the character Martha "Dumptruck" Dunnstock, as the outsider, the one to shun, more than I'd like but that's the truth. I've been a DUFF for people long before it became a Hollywood movie.

 

So, beautiful people when you start to feel bad about yourself, go volunteer at an ugly person's shelter (aka their family basement or living room where no one else goes except the ugly people). As the saying goes, helping others helps yourself. ;D

Edited by writergal
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I rather be good looking than be ugly I can deal with the bad parts of it.

 

My old boss is ugly inside and out and normally when I do see people that look like him they are being walked to the playground by there 90 year old mother.

 

Yes, it does suck when people and family cant understand why you are single .

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I think its unfair that in society we always focus on the benefits of beauty and the negatives of being below average looking.

 

That's really, really way down at the bottom of the list of life's unfair things.

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I feel like this post is a slap to the face towards the less beautiful, if given an option at birth most would pick beauty as the pros still outweigh the cons, suck it up beautiful people lol

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regine_phalange

There are many downsides in both being very attractive or very unattractive. I think the best is to be average looking with some really nice parts on you. In a way that you don't get attention from everyone, but by a select few people. If it really annoys you, have you thought about downplaying your beauty? You know, leave some stray eyebrow hair, dress like a prude, use less makeup.

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Wtf? So now its my job to correct everyone's assumptions? No. Thats not correct. The burden of proof is on the accuser, not the other way around.

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My GF has never cared about this. She was walking her dog last weekend wearing a crop top and these guys were driving the street (approaching from her back) abd hung out the window and yelled "DAAAAMN!" She said she did not really mind it.

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Every male friend you will have throughout your life is secretly in love with you, and not really a true friend...

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If you think a guy is just a friend try walking out of the bathroom naked and say "I want you to f*** me". If he say's "Sorry, I can't. I value your friendship too much" then he really is just a friend.

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