katiemiller Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 I met a guy who is 33 and I am 25 (8 year age difference). We get along really well and we have both discussed the age not being an issue. We both have careers, live in the same town and have the same interests. I am not going to let other peoples' opinions sway my decision, but a little reassurance can't hurt . Also, any success stories? Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Since when 8 years difference is an issue? 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Author katiemiller Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 I am aware that in retrospect, it is not a big deal. Just the biggest age difference I have dealt with. Link to post Share on other sites
changeofseasons Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 I was talking to my counselor about my past relationship which had a 9 year age gap. While we had many problems that had nothing to do with age she talked about how there can sometimes be power struggles. And he did tease me about being a "kid" some of the time which was so annoying. I've also seen this with other couples as well. But as long as you're not seeing any red flags i wouldn't worry about it. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Usually a ten year or more difference in age might lead to minor differences, like not being familiar with some of the older ones' music and movies and the history of their generation. But with 8 years difference, that's even less of a problem. But that's pretty superficial anyway. When seeking a mate, you are not looking for common interests. Rather, you are looking for mutual interest - in each other. Love does not know age. Link to post Share on other sites
CC12 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I think that age difference is fine, generally. I think the biggest issue in relationships with an age gap is when the two are at really different points in life. Like when someone with a stable career and quiet social life gets together with someone who is still in college and partying. There are usually unrealistic expectations there. But since you are both adults with careers, I doubt the age thing will give you much trouble. You're fine. Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 If you were 18 then maybe 8 years is a lot, But now i don't see it as significant. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I met a guy who is 33 and I am 25 (8 year age difference). We get along really well and we have both discussed the age not being an issue. We both have careers, live in the same town and have the same interests. I am not going to let other peoples' opinions sway my decision, but a little reassurance can't hurt . Also, any success stories? Age may or not be an issue, it depends on the individuals involved and the real reasons why they entered into a relationship with a person older or younger. Age gaps in general can sometimes be problematic. Some older men deliberately seek out young flesh and that can be an issue when the "youngster" starts to age. A man who has a pattern of continually dating younger woman, may indicate there is a problem there. Any young woman dating that man needs to be on her guard; he may be dating her merely for her youth and beauty and will rapidly move on when that starts to fade. Sometimes older men are looking for someone to dominate, someone to control and younger, less experienced women can fit that remit. As the younger woman ages and gains experience she may grow to resent that control. Young women seeking daddy figures when young, may find they are more attracted to men their own age, once the older man starts really showing his age, either physically or psychologically. Differences in life experience and cultural reference points, may at first be novel and amusing, but for some it just gets boring and tiresome pretty quick. Being with people who just get us, with no need for long explanations or the need to argue the point, and be a big bonus in a relationship. There may be a mismatch in goals, ie an older man in his thirties and forties, has often reached an age where he wants kids and he wants to settle down right now as his clock is ticking. His primary goal at that stage in his life is to find a mother for his kids. A younger woman may feel her clubbing days are not really over and she may not see herself settling down or having kids for years. Educated women may want to continue the career they spent so long working for and do not immediately want children. Having kids at 35 is not uncommon in educated women and by that time the older man may be in his forties and even fifties... Sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. I guess honest communication, like in all relationships is the key. Good luck. A recent study by Emory University polled data compiled from 3000 married and recently divorced couples. Various indices were used to predict relationship success. One of them was the age gap between partners. A one-year discrepancy in a couple's ages, the study found, makes them 3 percent more likely to divorce (when compared to their same-aged counterparts); a 5-year difference, however, makes them 18 percent more likely to split up. And a 10-year difference makes them 39 percent more likely. Once you enter large-gap territory, the 20-year difference and the 30-year difference, the odds of divorce are huge. The Link Between Age Compatibility And Relationship Success*|*Renee Fisher Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 (edited) ^^ I would hardly consider a man who is ONLY 8 years older to be an *older* man....lol. That is ludicrous IMO. Especially since he is only 33 years old! You being 25, him being 33 is actually ideal. I am 37, boyfriend just turned 44....almost the same age difference.... and I never saw it as an issue, because there IS no issue. Stop looking for problems where there are none...you're fine. Enjoy your relationship.....and relax. There are ALOT more serious issues you will no doubt encounter together, try not to sweat the small stuff. An 8-year age differene isn't even a blip....NOT at your ages anyway..... Edited July 1, 2015 by katiegrl 2 Link to post Share on other sites
SSM3 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 18 years age gap here! Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I'm 6 years older than my husband....never had a problem with it when we were first dating. (Him 20 me 26) As you get older the gap fades. Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 18 years age gap here! YES, and you just posted that she doesn't have a lot to say to you but chats to her mates quite happily... 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 YES, and you just posted that she doesn't have a lot to say to you but chats to her mates quite happily... Not judging but yeah 18 years is a bit much, and in that case, he would definitely be considered an *older* man... Not 8 years though....that's a blip. Link to post Share on other sites
SSM3 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 YES, and you just posted that she doesn't have a lot to say to you but chats to her mates quite happily... Great observation Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 Life stage not calendar years is more important. You are probably fine assuming everything else is OK. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I say it will work if you both have a lot in common and share the same maturity level. Link to post Share on other sites
BluEyeL Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 My BF is 7 years older. I really don't see it as an issue at all. It's not like it's 20 years. Link to post Share on other sites
MoreAmore Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 I don't even count 8 years as an age difference. That means nothing. Link to post Share on other sites
Teraskas Posted July 1, 2015 Share Posted July 1, 2015 In my opinion, age shouldn't be a problem if you're both on the same level mentally and maturity wise. Especially not an 8 year difference. Heck, my cousin is 26 and her husband is 39, although he doesn't look that old at all. Although personally, I've run into SO many "Ageist" women. (ESPECIALLY those around my own age being 23-25) All between ages 18 and 30 who all claim I'm "too young", despite me being on the mental / maturity level of someone in their 30s. Their loss for judging a book by its cover, I guess. Link to post Share on other sites
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