ms_incognito Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 A guy expressed interest and he's very nice and kind and considerate and we've hung out a few times platonically since, but I really hate his fashion sense. He dresses kinda girly, a friend thought his outfit was "gay", and he has super long heavy-metal hair which I hate. But he has a great personality and is otherwise fine looking. We have a lot in common and I've had terrible dating experience lately, so I'm trying to overlook the physical but I really don't like his clothes/hair. What would you guys do? Link to post Share on other sites
pewpew Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Well I guess that's his chosen style or what ever and it's up to you whether you can deal with that. He's obviously comfortable with the way he dresses so the onus is on you to either accept that's how he is or if you can't then don't take things any further. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
changeofseasons Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Pics or it didnt happen. lol jokes...unless you want to If you cant accept him, then don't. Because someone out there will appreciate them the way they are and you don't want to take that from him. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 I couldn't get past one guy's use of tall, scrunched white socks with old tennis shoes and shorts. So, I get it. Link to post Share on other sites
lollipopspot Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 You can probably subtly say what you like and don't, but don't insult his current look. Like, "I love that shirt on you" when he wears a shirt you find more acceptable. Or you could say, "I'm curious what you look like with shorter hair - do you have any pictures?" And then say he looks good like that (without implying that he looks bad now). That's not a gender specific thing either. When I'm with someone I'm always listening for and checking out what they like to see on me. I'll ask them if they like something or a certain style, or if they say something looks good I'll try to wear more things like that. There's a limit though. I'm not a high maintenance person and I'm not going to become one. I'm not going to wear shoes that hurt my feet or spend a ton of time getting ready in the morning. But I will tweak my look a bit for my partner if they really like something. His hair and clothes may not be a big thing for him and he might be happy to change a bit for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Arieswoman Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 ms_icognito, I'm sorry but the clothes are part of his image and it would be wrong of you to try and change that. As others have said you either take him as he is or don't bother. I can remember guys still having mulletts when they were really passe - it used to make me cringe... Mullets Pictures, Images & Photos | Photobucket Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms_incognito Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 I definitely don't want to change him and I know I have to just accept it if I decide to pursue things. The fashion sense - yes it's just clothes and hair - but it does impact his attractiveness to me. I guess I'll figure things out :/ Link to post Share on other sites
Author ms_incognito Posted June 30, 2015 Author Share Posted June 30, 2015 I guess I'm thinking about this more after my friend said she thought he's gay (based on a picture) Link to post Share on other sites
Krieger Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Well I just hang don't out with people that cant dress themselves properly. Link to post Share on other sites
eve_k Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 A guy expressed interest and he's very nice and kind and considerate and we've hung out a few times platonically since, but I really hate his fashion sense. He dresses kinda girly, a friend thought his outfit was "gay", and he has super long heavy-metal hair which I hate. But he has a great personality and is otherwise fine looking. We have a lot in common and I've had terrible dating experience lately, so I'm trying to overlook the physical but I really don't like his clothes/hair. What would you guys do? I rather like his sense, but if I didn't I would overlook it if he was right for me in other ways...Though it's good to like his fashion sense as well.. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 Clothing and hair are superficial traits, and many people will change them for the right partner. Unless those are things they see as fundamental to who they are - in which case you may have to accept them as is or move on. My wife and I have both changed our styles considerably since we first met. She liked me better in a somewhat different color palette and hair style, and I thought she needed to move upscale from the hippy-dippy style she usually affected. We've happily changed over the years - it wasn't fundamental to who we were/are, but more a reflection of the people we usually hung out with at the time we met. A matter of fitting in with friends. We both like our new looks a lot better. Link to post Share on other sites
LivingDeadGrl Posted June 30, 2015 Share Posted June 30, 2015 You need to be attracted to someone physically in order to start something romantic, in my opinion anyway. If you aren't attracted to the way he looks, why are you even contemplating it? Link to post Share on other sites
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