Did she lead me on?

[Vero]

I know I've made a post regarding this before, but I have additional information and some unanswered questions.

 

I liked this girl on my Track team, and I could've sworn she liked me too. From the moment we had our first conversation with some other teammates, I knew I really liked her. Throughout that Track season, I made a variety of attempts to progress into a relationship, such as:

 

1) First convo with her and some other teammates; cracked funny jokes about her.

2)Exited that first convo with a long hug.

3)Added her on social media; had a good bit of Snapchat.

4)Invited her to a Track team beach trip on twitter (was the only way at that time). She said she wanted to, but had to stay at her dad's that day.

5)Good amount of flirting at track meets (i.e. jokes, convos, sitting on bench together, arm around her,taking snap photos together, etc.)

6)At our End-of-season banquet, we mutually hugged each other, took some photos together, I signed her yearbook, and we later chilled next to each other in the hot tub with some other teammates. We joked and laughed a good bit, and then I put my arm around her twice, she leaned into my arms.

 

However, I knew from the beginning that she had a recent crush on another guy, who is also on the team. This didn't concern me mainly because later on in the Track season, during a conversation, she randomly told me that he asked her out 3 times throughout high school and she purposely kept him in the "friend zone". I was not concerned until later when:

 

1)After the Banquet, this same guy told me she said that this inside joke that we had (calling each other husband and wife) wasn't to be taken seriously and didn't hint at any attraction.

2)He also commented on how "awkward" it was for meme putting my arm around her in the hot tub -_-.

3) A few days later, he was driving me and my friend home. We were talking about him and her and he mentions "...Yeah, she asked me out in Spanish...".

I already know that mostly everything this guy was saying was to get me away from her and make me lose hope in a relationship, but what about her actions? I feel cheated because I felt like I did everything right. She acted as though she really liked me, but I made way more of an effort towards a relationship. If she really wanted a relationship with me, and made and effort to do so, none of the details above would've really mattered.

 

Did she lead me on? Did I do everything I should have?

 

Thanks!

Edited June 28, 2015 by Vero

[Halcyon]

I don't think she lead you on, I had a quick look at your other thread. I think really it's more to do with the age you are at. She will be leaving shortly to go to college and realistically most relationships that are turned into LDR when one of both parties go to college don't last.

 

She may have liked you but was keeping her distance because of that which is probably the least hurtful thing for both of you. I don't think you did anything wrong. You're young mate and rejection stings I know especially when you are younger. I think it's best just to enjoy it for what it was and move on you will fall for others I promise. At your age relationships are generally fleeting, enjoy them for what they are and learn what you can from them. Chin up you'll be ok it's ok to feel the way you are at the moment just remember to let it go when you can't learn anything more from it. No point dwelling on the past over and over after you have learn what you can.

[Vero]

I feel like that was what I was lookin for. Thanks so much:)

I don't think she lead you on, I had a quick look at your other thread. I think really it's more to do with the age you are at. She will be leaving shortly to go to college and realistically most relationships that are turned into LDR when one of both parties go to college don't last.

 

She may have liked you but was keeping her distance because of that which is probably the least hurtful thing for both of you. I don't think you did anything wrong. You're young mate and rejection stings I know especially when you are younger. I think it's best just to enjoy it for what it was and move on you will fall for others I promise. At your age relationships are generally fleeting, enjoy them for what they are and learn what you can from them. Chin up you'll be ok it's ok to feel the way you are at the moment just remember to let it go when you can't learn anything more from it. No point dwelling on the past over and over after you have learn what you can.

[angel.eyes]

No she didn't lead you on. What you describe is general friendliness and behaviors that friends share. I hug almost all my friends, for example.

 

One of the only ways to tell for certain if a girl likes you is to ask her out on a date. The other is if she tells you directly that she would like to date you. That, however, is a little like waiting for a zebra or your favorite wild animal to amble down your street. It will rarely happen. So you'll need to learn to ask directly and ask early on. If you don't, you'll end up investing lots of time building friendships when what you really seek is a girlfriend.

[smackie9]

Oh good lord this isn't the same girl from your post back in Feb is it?? Didn't I tell you to ask her out on a bloody date??? You had like 5 frickin months to do this....you could have been in a full on relationship by now or at least getting some action until she goes to college. You lose.......she was ripe for the picking!

[Vero]

Two things:

1) I don't believe I put out a signal for friendship. I made more efforts at a relationship than a "friend" would.

2) I don't understand how my asking her to the beach trip with the track team didn't suffice as an attempt at making a date. I know she said she couldn't , but if it where me, I wouldn't have thought twice about making time for the trip.

 

This is how it went:

Me:Yoooo [her name], are you down for that track team beach trip this Thursday?

Her:Aw man I wish I could go- I'll be visiting my dad until this weekend :/

Her: Hope everyone has a bunch of fun tho!

Me: Alright no sweat and yeaaaah we will!"

 

Looking back, I should've asked her on a date sometime else, but I felt like this one was enough to tell if she really liked me.

Edited July 7, 2015 by Vero

[Vero]

Nope it's not. Different girl, but never actually asked her out either. Missed opportunities:|.

[Versacehottie]

Two things:

1) I don't believe I put out a signal for friendship. I made more efforts at a relationship than a "friend" would.

2) I don't understand how my asking her to the beach trip with the track team didn't suffice as an attempt at making a date. I know she said she couldn't , but if it where me, I wouldn't have thought twice about making time for the trip.

 

This is how it went:

Me:Yoooo [her name], are you down for that track team beach trip this Thursday?

Her:Aw man I wish I could go- I'll be visiting my dad until this weekend :/

Her: Hope everyone has a bunch of fun tho!

Me: Alright no sweat and yeaaaah we will!"

 

Looking back, I should've asked her on a date sometime else, but I felt like this one was enough to tell if she really liked me.

 

Just a pointer: she is on the track team too, right? So your conversation, could be seen as friend asking or guy who likes me but hasn't made a move asking. If you like her, you should have asked her out for real and away from this group activity which she could have taken part in anyway. I don't know if she strung you along or not, but you kinda strung yourself along. She was nice, friendly and may-be interested. You would have had to take extra step and risk to find out for real. It's hard to not overthink and live for little signs but sometimes you just have to take a chance. Strike when the iron is hot as they say. Now I think with timing of school year and college, there is probably not much momentum to start something up with her. it's ok you will be on to the next person soon enough. Good luck

[fitnessfan365]

So let me get this straight. Since you have a crush on her, that means that her being friendly towards you as a teammate was leading you on? Just because you like a girl, doesn't mean she feels the same way. It would be one thing if she accepted dates with you while she had a boyfriend. However, you never even asked her out.

 

All you did was secretly pine for this girl, and try to hint that you liked her. So my advice would be just to ask her out already. Asking her to the beach team event doesn't count because it can still be considered a friend/teammate type gesture. Make sure that when you do ask her out that it has nothing to do with school and it's an actual date. That will let you know where she stands. But in the future, ask a girl out as soon as you know you like her. Keeping your attraction a secret and just hanging around her trying to hint is how you get put in the friend zone.

Edited July 7, 2015 by fitnessfan365