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Almost 30 and never dated is it weird


logan415

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I will be 30 next year and never dated or have any form of relationship in my life. However, I think my dating drought is coming to an end as I met a lady from Belarus from an online dating website. We been talking for a while and saving up for my trip to go see her. I’m curious how common is for a guy my age in today society to never had dated? I have heard from other people that dating society in America is really bad where both sides place too many rules on each other and therefore cannot bond. My issue is no one was never interested in me until I met this lady overseas, and she message me first and she said my profile was interesting. I guess my love life is overseas.

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It's not weird, just not that common because most of us were actively dating since high school.

 

Best of luck on your endeavor. Better lat than never eh?

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StalwartMind

It actually doesn't matter if it's common or uncommon, but there are a decent chunk of late bloomers in our world. Some people actually do go a long time without being noticed, much like you. As always when it comes to dealing with someone from a foreign country, protect yourself, be honest with each other and put a big emphasis on solid communication. I wish you all the best and enjoy the experience, sometimes love life is overseas, many will attest to that.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217

I'm 27 and in the same boat, there are probably more men who are 25+ years of age that have never dated or been in a relationship than the other way around, that's what it seems like, I even started my own thread on it, on this site

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I will be 30 next year and never dated or have any form of relationship in my life. However, I think my dating drought is coming to an end as I met a lady from Belarus from an online dating website. We been talking for a while and saving up for my trip to go see her. I’m curious how common is for a guy my age in today society to never had dated? I have heard from other people that dating society in America is really bad where both sides place too many rules on each other and therefore cannot bond. My issue is no one was never interested in me until I met this lady overseas, and she message me first and she said my profile was interesting. I guess my love life is overseas.

 

I see nothing wrong with it. But do you know any reason why? And do you find online dating to be easier than in-person? keep up with that then if that works for you

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I'm 27 and in the same boat, there are probably more men who are 25+ years of age that have never dated or been in a relationship than the other way around, that's what it seems like, I even started my own thread on it, on this site

 

I'm very interested in this topic, and I am not judging whatsoever, but I am just curious why you haven't dated? is it because you are very picky? scared to ask someone out / get hurt ? (that'd be my reason). It's interesting to me. :) (you can message me privately if you don't want to answer it publicly!)

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I have heard from other people that dating society in America is really bad where both sides place too many rules on each other and therefore cannot bond.

 

I agree, and someone should tell Americans about it. :)

 

You are looking for love, not a profile or someone who satisfies a check list.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217
I'm very interested in this topic, and I am not judging whatsoever, but I am just curious why you haven't dated? is it because you are very picky? scared to ask someone out / get hurt ? (that'd be my reason). It's interesting to me. :) (you can message me privately if you don't want to answer it publicly!)

I believe pickiness is one factor but mostly because I grew up introverted, introverted is part of my personality, nature, never really went out that much in my late teens and early 20's, yes didn't ask enough out, its difficult to not be bitter and resentful, jealous of women because I feel women have so much power in their teens and 20's, a lot of people even say that women's peak attractiveness years typically start earlier than men's do, and since women don't have to be the initiators, its almost a for certain guarantee that a man they want will literally come to them in their 20's

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I'm very interested in this topic, and I am not judging whatsoever, but I am just curious why you haven't dated? is it because you are very picky? scared to ask someone out / get hurt ? (that'd be my reason). It's interesting to me. :) (you can message me privately if you don't want to answer it publicly!)

 

I am 31 and in the same category. I have asked someone out precisely 3 times and was rejected each time.

 

 

My issue is I look for someone who "wows" me and quite simply very few do, its a personality I seek over looks, sure she needs to look nice but not model like. Perhaps I could be described as picky but also I gave up a social life for studies and this pretty much wiped out most of my 20's, bitter pill to swallow was I never really achieved what I wanted to in studies so in part the sacrifice was without any sort of reward.

 

 

My advice for the opening poster: Don't give up hope.

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BronzeAgeJaeger217

I turned 27 at the beginning of the year, I sometimes worry that this will still be the same situation for me once I hit 30

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I will be 30 next year and never dated or have any form of relationship in my life. However, I think my dating drought is coming to an end as I met a lady from Belarus from an online dating website. We been talking for a while and saving up for my trip to go see her. I’m curious how common is for a guy my age in today society to never had dated? I have heard from other people that dating society in America is really bad where both sides place too many rules on each other and therefore cannot bond. My issue is no one was never interested in me until I met this lady overseas, and she message me first and she said my profile was interesting. I guess my love life is overseas.

 

Just be very careful this is not a scam.

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I'm 27 and in the same boat, there are probably more men who are 25+ years of age that have never dated or been in a relationship than the other way around, that's what it seems like, I even started my own thread on it, on this site

 

You're right. If you look at statistics, single women disappear (get married) in their early to mid 20's. It's their peak attractiveness and they take advantage of it. Men typically don't go off the market until their early 30's (also generally their peak). Single women start appearing again in their later 30s once they get divorced.

 

Single, attractive women around age 27 are difficult to find because they are taken of the market, thus one reason why men end up having to date down to girls in their early 20s before they get snatched up. Then the men get shamed by the newly single 38 y/o woman with 3 kids, limited time, and a body that she let go of 10 years earlier. :(

Edited by PogoStick
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BronzeAgeJaeger217
You're right. If you look at statistics, single women disappear (get married) in their early to mid 20's. It's their peak attractiveness and they take advantage of it. Men typically don't go off the market until their early 30's (also generally their peak). Single women start appearing again in their later 30s once they get divorced.

 

Single, attractive women around age 27 are difficult to find because they are taken of the market, thus one reason why men end up having to date down to girls in their early 20s before they get snatched up. Then the men get shamed by the newly single 38 y/o woman with 3 kids, limited time, and a body that she let go of 10 years earlier. :(

Ya, I just wonder how much time I have left before i won't be able to date, attract young women in their early 20's

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I will be 30 next year and never dated or have any form of relationship in my life. However, I think my dating drought is coming to an end as I met a lady from Belarus from an online dating website. We been talking for a while and saving up for my trip to go see her. I’m curious how common is for a guy my age in today society to never had dated? I have heard from other people that dating society in America is really bad where both sides place too many rules on each other and therefore cannot bond. My issue is no one was never interested in me until I met this lady overseas, and she message me first and she said my profile was interesting. I guess my love life is overseas.

 

I wouldn't say it's wierd, but I will tell you this -- since you are inexperienced at dating, I would not travel out of the country to meet a woman. Women from foreign countries very often have "ulterior motives" for wanting to meet/date men from the US. And, given the fact you don't have experience, you will have an extremely difficult time figuring out what this woman's intentions are. They are smooth and cunning. I would not let your first dating experience happen this way.

 

NOt only that, you will travel there, be in a strange place to meet a strange person. That is a matter of safety from the get go. If you do go there, make sure you meet only in public places, do not go to her home or bring her to your hotel. Do not give her any money for any reason what so ever! I'm not saying that she may actually be genuine, but be on your guard at all times.

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ExpatInItaly
I wouldn't say it's wierd, but I will tell you this -- since you are inexperienced at dating, I would not travel out of the country to meet a woman. Women from foreign countries very often have "ulterior motives" for wanting to meet/date men from the US. And, given the fact you don't have experience, you will have an extremely difficult time figuring out what this woman's intentions are. They are smooth and cunning. I would not let your first dating experience happen this way.

 

NOt only that, you will travel there, be in a strange place to meet a strange person. That is a matter of safety from the get go. If you do go there, make sure you meet only in public places, do not go to her home or bring her to your hotel. Do not give her any money for any reason what so ever! I'm not saying that she may actually be genuine, but be on your guard at all times.

 

This is all very good advice. Be very careful going over there. What do you know about her background, OP?

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I'm a bit confused by all of the answers stating that it's unusual, not very normal, etc., but then stating that it's not weird. Most people use the term weird effectively as a synonym or all of those things (i.e. unusual, uncommon, etc.) - very few use the actual definition that implies fate and magical stuff.

 

So yes, OP, in that sense you're weird, but that doesn't really matter. The part that's scary is that you've never dated, met someone online in Belarus, and you're actually thinking about buying a plane ticket and heading over that way - just meet someone in your backyard - that'sway better.

 

On your first date(s), you're likely going to be super awkward, meaning that there's very little chance for building an actual connection with the person assuming that they're not trying to take advantage of you in some way (and in that case, it will only seem like there's a connection - the real connection will be between that person and your wallet).

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It's not weird, it probably is fairly uncommon though. I don't agree with Vintage79 above, weird to me implies something strange, not necessarily something uncommon.

 

I do think you're mad to splash out on a ticket to another country to meet a woman you've never met. I'd be pissed off if I spent maybe £50 for dinner on a date and things didn't work out so I can't imagine you'd be too pleased to spend a whole lot more than that only for possible disappointment.

 

I'd be very weary of this situation, it has scam written all over it. Also, bear in mind that your luck of experience at your age will probably mean you're fairly naive about the world of dating and woman. She could be using you without you realising.

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I'd be very wary of this situation, it has scam written all over it. Also, bear in mind that your luck of experience at your age will probably mean you're fairly naive about the world of dating and woman. She could be using you without you realising.

 

^^^this^^^

 

and

she message me first and she said my profile was interesting
^^^this^^^

 

YOU are desperate for a woman and you will be very easily conned here.

 

Look for a woman closer to home.

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I wouldn't say it's wierd, but I will tell you this -- since you are inexperienced at dating, I would not travel out of the country to meet a woman. Women from foreign countries very often have "ulterior motives" for wanting to meet/date men from the US. And, given the fact you don't have experience, you will have an extremely difficult time figuring out what this woman's intentions are. They are smooth and cunning. I would not let your first dating experience happen this way.

 

NOt only that, you will travel there, be in a strange place to meet a strange person. That is a matter of safety from the get go. If you do go there, make sure you meet only in public places, do not go to her home or bring her to your hotel. Do not give her any money for any reason what so ever! I'm not saying that she may actually be genuine, but be on your guard at all times.

 

I'm not sure where I would meet her. I'm not sure how I can do a background check on that woman. I know she currently attends a University and I know what city she lives in.

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^^^this^^^

 

and

^^^this^^^

 

YOU are desperate for a woman and you will be very easily conned here.

 

Look for a woman closer to home.

 

I will admit that women here at home is not interested in me. But then I have been focused on this girl from Belarus. I been on OkCupid dating site and I had women like my profile but never send a message. The Belarusian woman I met her on a site called Fdating. We been talking online for almost a year.

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Op I think you are taking a big risk. Tbh you sound very naive, gullible and lonely.

 

I would not fly out of the country for my first ever date, for a man I hadn't met before and who I met through OLD. Have you spoken on the phone, heard her voice, Skyped etc? You're not even sure where you would meet her :eek:! Isn't that already a big flag?

 

Safety aspects aside, you could get to Belarus and find the lady doesn't show. Then she'll give you some spiel tall story about that. You'd return home having wasted your money and got no date.

 

I'm in the UK and on one dating site. When men from SA, US, France, Germany etc message me, I just delete them.

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You're right. If you look at statistics, single women disappear (get married) in their early to mid 20's. It's their peak attractiveness and they take advantage of it. Men typically don't go off the market until their early 30's (also generally their peak). Single women start appearing again in their later 30s once they get divorced.

 

Single, attractive women around age 27 are difficult to find because they are taken of the market, thus one reason why men end up having to date down to girls in their early 20s before they get snatched up. Then the men get shamed by the newly single 38 y/o woman with 3 kids, limited time, and a body that she let go of 10 years earlier. :(

 

Good information here.

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Op I think you are taking a big risk. Tbh you sound very naive, gullible and lonely.

 

I would not fly out of the country for my first ever date, for a man I hadn't met before and who I met through OLD. Have you spoken on the phone, heard her voice, Skyped etc? You're not even sure where you would meet her :eek:! Isn't that already a big flag?

 

Safety aspects aside, you could get to Belarus and find the lady doesn't show. Then she'll give you some spiel tall story about that. You'd return home having wasted your money and got no date.

 

I'm in the UK and on one dating site. When men from SA, US, France, Germany etc message me, I just delete them.

 

I know where she lives. I know the risk is big but I always reflect how bad my dating sucks here in the US. Almost 30 and never dated I think I need to find other places to meet people its not working at home.

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You're right. If you look at statistics, single women disappear (get married) in their early to mid 20's. It's their peak attractiveness and they take advantage of it. Men typically don't go off the market until their early 30's (also generally their peak). Single women start appearing again in their later 30s once they get divorced.

 

Single, attractive women around age 27 are difficult to find because they are taken of the market, thus one reason why men end up having to date down to girls in their early 20s before they get snatched up. Then the men get shamed by the newly single 38 y/o woman with 3 kids, limited time, and a body that she let go of 10 years earlier. :(

 

Not in the UK - 2011 - Average age for women to marry hits 30 for first time - Telegraph

 

2013 figures show an increase in average age of marriage for women to 30.9 years old.

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I know where she lives. I know the risk is big but I always reflect how bad my dating sucks here in the US. Almost 30 and never dated I think I need to find other places to meet people its not working at home.

 

I am 31 and have never dated and I also lulled myself into a mind set like yours, numerous times I contemplated flying to the US simply to try and date there because my luck here is so extremely bad.

 

Why didn't I? Simple, cost versus benefit, so I fly to the US, meet someone fantastic then I have to fly home, so what's the point.

 

Its like walking into a confectionary store, ordering the best chocolate and then having to 100 miles to fetch the money.

 

I'd strongly suggest you DONT fly to meet this lady.

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