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Text him re: making plans?


Ladyinindy

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I went on a first date May 22nd where we completely hit it off and had a great time together. He asked when he could see me again, if I was busy that next day (Saturday) and he invited me to his pool at his apartment complex. We spent the next day together with some of his friends he introduced me too. We've then spent 3 more dates together that went great.

 

Two weeks ago we were supposed to see eachother on a Friday, but he had been sick all week and was still sick Friday. I offered to go over to his house and take him chicken soup, he aaid that would be really helpful, I did, and he started feeling better and we spent the rest of that weekend together. Went to a movie, dinner, saw some of his friends, and I stayed there all weekend.

 

That was two weeks ago. In the last 2 week he's been very quiet and hasn't texted me barely at all, and has not asked me out once. However I've texted him every other day or so and just keep in touch and say hi, never to make plans or anything, and he always responds right away and always seems interested in talking to me. For example I texted him this past Saturday when I was hanging out with my Dad at my Dads house, to say hi because I was like 5 minutes away from him (my Dad coincidentally lives like 5 minutes away from him) and his text back was "let me know if you guys end up going to the outdoor concert by my house tonight, I will be close by watching a game with buddies at a bar." So....although he doesn't message me that much, that message says to me that not only is he still interested in time together, but is totally happy to meet my Dad (who is also one of my best friends).

 

What would you do? I really like him and we have really great chemistry and a lot in common (both really into exercise, into the same music, same food, same movies, same sports teams, same sense of humor, same religious beliefs, we know people in common).....I don't really "pursue" contact with men in early dating, I usually let them pursue my time because those are kind of the "dating rules" I guess....right?!?!?!

 

I wiuld love to see him this weekend but I don't really know what to do other than see if he wants to see me and texts me to make plans...or would you personally, after a month of dating, as a woman, initiate contact with the man and suggest plans a certain night at a certain place? Is that a good or bad idea? How do guys perceive that?

 

I really think we could have a great thing together if we keep seeing each other. I have a four year old daughter that he has commented that he would love to meet. All the signs seem to point to him wanting something between us except for the sparse contact in the last two weeks.

 

What would you do? Text him about making plans or let him initiate the dating moves?

 

Help! Lol.

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I'm a person who takes the bull by the horns I would arrange the date I wanted to go on, then call him (not text call) and invite him expecting that I would pay for it.

 

 

If I didn't get an enthusiastic response, I would move on.

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Lois_Griffin

Something clearly happened (for him or in his mind) the weekend you stayed there. Something has changed his mind about pursuing you.

 

If you had sex that weekend, it's possible he feels the 'chase' is over and he's no longer vested in making an effort to see you. Or perhaps it was too much closeness for him and he felt things were moving too fast. Or, maybe he just wasn't feeling it after that weekend.

 

I cant presume to know what it was that changed his mind after that weekend, but it's pretty obvious his thoughts have changed.

 

It's painfully obvious when he chooses to spend a Saturday night watching sports with his buddy at the sports bar rather than being with you that he's had a change of heart.

 

I wouldn't bother with him at all. His actions are clearly telling you he's not interested. Just because he was nice and said to stop in if you and your dad were in the neighborhood doesn't mean he's interested and wants to meet your father. He just sounds like he was being congenial.

 

I'm sorry, but he's doing the slow fade. You wouldn't hear from him probably at all if you didn't reach out every other day.

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I went on a first date May 22nd where we completely hit it off and had a great time together. He asked when he could see me again, if I was busy that next day (Saturday) and he invited me to his pool at his apartment complex. We spent the next day together with some of his friends he introduced me too. We've then spent 3 more dates together that went great.

 

Two weeks ago we were supposed to see eachother on a Friday, but he had been sick all week and was still sick Friday. I offered to go over to his house and take him chicken soup, he aaid that would be really helpful, I did, and he started feeling better and we spent the rest of that weekend together. Went to a movie, dinner, saw some of his friends, and I stayed there all weekend.

 

That was two weeks ago. In the last 2 week he's been very quiet and hasn't texted me barely at all, and has not asked me out once. However I've texted him every other day or so and just keep in touch and say hi, never to make plans or anything, and he always responds right away and always seems interested in talking to me. For example I texted him this past Saturday when I was hanging out with my Dad at my Dads house, to say hi because I was like 5 minutes away from him (my Dad coincidentally lives like 5 minutes away from him) and his text back was "let me know if you guys end up going to the outdoor concert by my house tonight, I will be close by watching a game with buddies at a bar." So....although he doesn't message me that much, that message says to me that not only is he still interested in time together, but is totally happy to meet my Dad (who is also one of my best friends).

 

What would you do? I really like him and we have really great chemistry and a lot in common (both really into exercise, into the same music, same food, same movies, same sports teams, same sense of humor, same religious beliefs, we know people in common).....I don't really "pursue" contact with men in early dating, I usually let them pursue my time because those are kind of the "dating rules" I guess....right?!?!?!

 

I wiuld love to see him this weekend but I don't really know what to do other than see if he wants to see me and texts me to make plans...or would you personally, after a month of dating, as a woman, initiate contact with the man and suggest plans a certain night at a certain place? Is that a good or bad idea? How do guys perceive that?

 

I really think we could have a great thing together if we keep seeing each other. I have a four year old daughter that he has commented that he would love to meet. All the signs seem to point to him wanting something between us except for the sparse contact in the last two weeks.

 

What would you do? Text him about making plans or let him initiate the dating moves?

 

Help! Lol.

 

Well, you've had enough dates that he's initiated. A woman needs to do some initiating in order to give the man some confidence about where he stands with you. He's still showing enough interest, he may just be concerned about being clingy, what have you for having done all the initiating so far.

 

I say call him. Don't text. Ask him for a specific activity with specific day, time and place and tell him it will be your treat. Talking to him on the phone will also give you a better "feel" for where he's at with you as well.

 

After you've initiated this one and he accepts though, you give the reins back to him. The ball is now in his court again, so let him initiate again. It should balance out going forward. He initiates some, you initiate some. Balance is key in every scenario in terms of expressing and maintaining interest.

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Listen, as a guy, when I had some great early dates and time spent with a new girl I liked, I'd be texting and calling her, setting up our next date. I'd WANT to see her and hang out. The fact he's not initiating contact w/you nor asking you out means he's lost interest or is seeing other women he likes more. Maybe he's too nice to be blunt and tell you he's not feeling it.

 

 

It's your choice but if a girl did this to me, my obvious conclusion would be that she's simply not that into me and I need to continue dating. I'd personally not contact her again. Her ACTIONS are really telling me all I need to know in regards to how she is feeling.

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[been lurking for a while, thought I'd jump in!]

 

I think this guy is fading on you. I would stop reaching out and texting immediately and see what he does. My guess is he will do nothing or after a little while he might reach out with a lukewarm "hey". Either way, he's currently not that into you and I would move on unless he shows he is a lot more interested. In the meantime, date others!

 

I hate the fade, but the reality is we can't ever know what is going on with someone else. If he wanted to see you, he would make plans with you. He knows you're interested because you've been reaching out a lot, so the ball is in his court and he has chosen not to return it.

 

I highly recommend googling Aphrodite Astrology and the disappearing man for why it's important for women to pull back when men start the fade. In my experience, the fade always indicates that things are not going anywhere.

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I guess if he's fading, I'm clueless why, other than he's just a player, and possibly repeatedly does exactly what he did with me with plenty of women. He has been doing nothing but showing interest for weeks and then suddenly has gone rather quiet other than messaging me back. I don't get it! Nothing changed from when we met other than more great times together. But it is what it is....

 

I'm still dating others and will continue to. And if he contacts me out of the blue, I guess I will blow him off. I don't do the on again off again dating thing. I'm a great catch, not a back burner person that is cool with wishy washy interest from men. What a waste of time opening up to someone and establishing some great chemistry only to have it disappear as quickly as it appeared.

 

To answer the question, yes we had sex the weekend I stayed there and if he's the kind of guy that would see that as the chase being over, that's dumb and I wouldn't want to date him anyway. Seems like a game to me and I don't do the games crap. In my opinion intimacy coming into the picture is very much an enjoyable part of being with someone not some end to a chasing game. It is the opening of a door, not the closing of one. Establishing intimacy is important. (He did comment the sex was incredible by the way so it's definitely not a case of him flaking out because of bad sex).

 

I don't get why someone flakes out after great chemistry is eatablished and tons of things in common are present, but oh well.

 

I could contact him and ask him if he wants to get together...as one poster said....just not really sure if that approach makes sense...I don't chase men...don't need to...certainly don't plan to start now. Seems desperate, I'm not desperate. Lol.

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If he flaked shortly after sex, that was all he wanted & you should move on without reaching out to him again. If you do reach out, he most probably will assume you want sex & he will think a repeat performance is on the agenda. If that is not what you want, stay away.

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Versacehottie
I guess if he's fading, I'm clueless why, other than he's just a player, and possibly repeatedly does exactly what he did with me with plenty of women. He has been doing nothing but showing interest for weeks and then suddenly has gone rather quiet other than messaging me back. I don't get it! Nothing changed from when we met other than more great times together. But it is what it is....

 

I'm still dating others and will continue to. And if he contacts me out of the blue, I guess I will blow him off. I don't do the on again off again dating thing. I'm a great catch, not a back burner person that is cool with wishy washy interest from men. What a waste of time opening up to someone and establishing some great chemistry only to have it disappear as quickly as it appeared.

 

To answer the question, yes we had sex the weekend I stayed there and if he's the kind of guy that would see that as the chase being over, that's dumb and I wouldn't want to date him anyway. Seems like a game to me and I don't do the games crap. In my opinion intimacy coming into the picture is very much an enjoyable part of being with someone not some end to a chasing game. It is the opening of a door, not the closing of one. Establishing intimacy is important. (He did comment the sex was incredible by the way so it's definitely not a case of him flaking out because of bad sex).

 

I don't get why someone flakes out after great chemistry is eatablished and tons of things in common are present, but oh well.

 

I could contact him and ask him if he wants to get together...as one poster said....just not really sure if that approach makes sense...I don't chase men...don't need to...certainly don't plan to start now. Seems desperate, I'm not desperate. Lol.

 

well it sounds like you are having a good attitude about it. It does sound like a fade or maybe he's pulling back to consider; I'm sorry.

 

Don't underestimate the getting sex/chase-being-over part. I have a lot of guy friends. All open-minded but when you discuss at length with them and see their history over the years, you would be shocked at how old-fashioned and traditional the majority of guys can be when the chase for sex is over too soon. I have heard THE most open-minded guys say that (as irrational as it may be) that they then worry how easy you give it up to other guys. Which then makes them not feel like they are or did anything special to get that far with you.

 

Even if this scenario is not at play with your guy, sex changes things for sure. He may be worried that sex along with how much you hung out that weekend that you are already moving toward being a full-blown couple. Sounds like even if he likes you a lot he is having doubts about moving too fast or getting too serious because that matches his actions. Since you have a daughter there is more at stake than just another girl he would be dating. Higher stakes, more serious considerations.

 

Pull back and see what he does. As you said, you have no reason to change your standards now. good luck

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Things moved pretty fast when we met, and maybe he's a bit freaked out and pulling back, yes, because of various reasons. But women are ALWAYS damned if you do, damned if you don't with sex....if I did not respond to his advances, I would be a prude, if I did, I'm loose. Can't win ever in that department it seems.

 

Is what it is. Just annoying that he said a lot of the things that he did to me ( very kind compliments, talks about future plans, talks about all kinds of things we could do together upcoming, he introduced me to his friends, accepted my kindness when he was sick when I could have gone anywhere that weekend and done plenty of other things, but chose to take care of him)....then turned around and have him fade away. I feel very used and misled.

 

Guess I got played!!! Would not be the first time.

 

When sex happened I told him straight up it was very early for me personally.

 

Thanks everyone for the responses.

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I think staying at his place for the entire weekend was too much, too soon. You should've gone home and given him time to miss you. I agree with the others that he's no longer interested in you. I don't think you got played, though.

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I have contemplated this all day and I feel like it's a matter of things moving fast and him pulling away. I think it's unfortunate, because were very compatible, but it is what it is. If he's going to let go completely because of a nice weekend together enjoying each others company, then that's his problem. I personally think there's no such thing as too much too soon. You follow your heart and do what happens naturally. That was what happened naturally, was we spent the weekend together. I certainly don't think two adults that are 36 and he's 49 should be fearful if a simple weekend together meaning some big commitment and to run away. But some people flee at any sign of something serious, and he may be one of those people. Considering he's never been married, has no kids, lives alone, and has literally been dating for many years, I personally think he's a commitment-phobe that probably finds something wrong with every woman or dating scenario in front of him due to being jaded and having dated for so long turning him into a commitment-phobe. My personal opinion after contemplating it all day.

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Whoa, slow down sister! You're jumping to all sorts of conclusions based on a handful of opinions here and some personal contemplation, when the real answers are right at your fingertips.

 

To go back to your original question, text him about making plans, yes. We're big girls and we can do that too, no need to wait around for the rest of your life for some guy to do it. And guess what - when you do that, you'll get a much better idea of what his deal possibly is or isn't. If he's truly fading, he'll find a reason not to go out or hang out. Or on the other hand, maybe he'll say hell yeah he's ready to go out.

 

Whichever it is, you can then talk to him about whatever's on your mind rather than make assumptions. You'll feel much better actually handling your business instead of letting paranoia rule. :)

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I have contemplated this all day and I feel like it's a matter of things moving fast and him pulling away. I think it's unfortunate, because were very compatible, but it is what it is. If he's going to let go completely because of a nice weekend together enjoying each others company, then that's his problem. I personally think there's no such thing as too much too soon. You follow your heart and do what happens naturally. That was what happened naturally, was we spent the weekend together. I certainly don't think two adults that are 36 and he's 49 should be fearful if a simple weekend together meaning some big commitment and to run away. But some people flee at any sign of something serious, and he may be one of those people. Considering he's never been married, has no kids, lives alone, and has literally been dating for many years, I personally think he's a commitment-phobe that probably finds something wrong with every woman or dating scenario in front of him due to being jaded and having dated for so long turning him into a commitment-phobe. My personal opinion after contemplating it all day.

 

 

 

As a guy, I don't put any value into how quickly a woman sleeps with me. I don't use it as a measuring stick of how 'loose' a women is or not. I think that's BS. I also think there's a HUGE double standard in that guys screw on first dates w/out being labeled "loose" or a "whore"..

 

 

If you have great chemistry and connection and sleep together early, it's not a big deal in my mind. With one GF I had, we slept together the first night. We dated well over a year. With my latest GF, we slept together the 2nd date and we're still very happy almost 2 years later.

 

 

In the OP's case, he could of done the "fade" for any number of reasons. The big rock is he clearly wasn't feeling it with her or he'd wouldn't of faded. It happens to all of us and it sounds like the OP recognizes it.

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Whoa, slow down sister! You're jumping to all sorts of conclusions based on a handful of opinions here and some personal contemplation, when the real answers are right at your fingertips.

 

To go back to your original question, text him about making plans, yes. We're big girls and we can do that too, no need to wait around for the rest of your life for some guy to do it. And guess what - when you do that, you'll get a much better idea of what his deal possibly is or isn't. If he's truly fading, he'll find a reason not to go out or hang out. Or on the other hand, maybe he'll say hell yeah he's ready to go out.

 

Whichever it is, you can then talk to him about whatever's on your mind rather than make assumptions. You'll feel much better actually handling your business instead of letting paranoia rule. :)

 

 

IDK, while I don't totally disagree with this, I still think we know by peoples actions what they are thinking.

 

 

I guess in my case, when a women does the fade or stops replying to texts, I don't fell compelled to contact them and have them tell me.

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Whoa, slow down sister! You're jumping to all sorts of conclusions based on a handful of opinions here and some personal contemplation, when the real answers are right at your fingertips.

 

To go back to your original question, text him about making plans, yes. We're big girls and we can do that too, no need to wait around for the rest of your life for some guy to do it. And guess what - when you do that, you'll get a much better idea of what his deal possibly is or isn't. If he's truly fading, he'll find a reason not to go out or hang out. Or on the other hand, maybe he'll say hell yeah he's ready to go out.

 

Whichever it is, you can then talk to him about whatever's on your mind rather than make assumptions. You'll feel much better actually handling your business instead of letting paranoia rule. :)

 

In the past I would have agreed with this. But I've been burned too often recently and I now let the guy lead in the early days, as much as it goes against my natural instincts. Without fail when a guy has died down in contacting me and making plans, it means he is on his way out.

 

Last year I dated a guy for 4 months who hinted around about future stuff. For two and a half of those months he stayed in regular contact and made plans then he started to quiet down and I never knew when I would see him again. I started reaching out more and while he would respond, make plans and sleep with me, I could tell he was less enthusiastic. Finally I asked him where he saw things going and he told me "casual" which is when I ended it. The problem with fading guys is they don't necessarily end it because they're still cool with staying in contact and occasionally getting sex. They just indicate their lessened interest by contacting you less.

 

However OP, it's possible this guy will be straight with you, so if you feel inspired ask him out! I'm just always inclined to let silence and lack of initiation talk because I think it says a lot.

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The problem with fading guys is they don't necessarily end it because they're still cool with staying in contact and occasionally getting sex. They just indicate their lessened interest by contacting you less.

 

 

This is on point but is generally in the early stages of dating someone. Usually within the first few weeks. I've never dated and started sleeping with a woman over 30 days that didn't include exclusivity. Most if not all the women would ask me if we should be exclusive now that we are seeing and sleeping together regularly.

 

 

After 2-4 months with out exclusivity? I'm never been apart of that in a relationship. I always was looking for my next GF/relationship. If I didn't feel it after a few weeks, I was done and would keep searching.

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I think I'm just blown away that such a seemingly good thing is just vanishing. It makes me tired of even putting any time of energy into anything. HE pursued me spending every minute we spent together, and I feel so played. Our first date I suggested we have A DRINK and he said he wanted to take me to dinner and we went somewhere really nice, and he bought a bottle of wine, and bought dinner. Then for WEEKS it was "when can I see you again" texts from him and funny text exchanges between us and just fun communication. I then accepted several invitations to go to more nice dinners and do more activities together that HE invited me to and payed for, also inviting some of his best friends along at times, guys and girls, who he kept telling me loved me and they felt I was so good for him and such a good match for him. All driven by him. All with very fun communication that was very light and not geared towards anything serious between us, just lots of talking and laughing and connecting about our commonalities. At this point I could care less what happens here with anything with him, I just feel olayed and hurt and clueless what suddenly changed when things were good. It makes me tired of putting myself out there and putting time into anything and in this case feeling totally misled and used. HE pursued me meeting his friends, HE grabbed my hand and held it at a movie, HE was the one that said that I should stay the weekend with him and he appreciated me taking care of him when he was sick...HE sat at dinner one night and told me he thinks he should settle down and have kids and wants someone like me in his life that he's really compatible with to do that with. I just don't get it. How does someone show all of these signs in one direction, and then just stop and change course without warning and fall off of the face of the Earth?

 

If you don't want anything other than something very casual with no commitment, why for so many weeks show actions that are the opposite? I Just feel totally misled and played. It's a really hurtful feeling. But I will get past it. Just upsetting.

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If you don't want anything other than something very casual with no commitment, why for so many weeks show actions that are the opposite? I Just feel totally misled and played. It's a really hurtful feeling. But I will get past it. Just upsetting.

 

He sounds like the type of guy who blows super hot super fast then it all dies down. It is so hurtful, but I think you hit the nail on the head earlier. This guy is 49 and a confirmed bachelor. While he probably likes fantasizing about everything he talked about with you, he has no intention of actually making it happen. So when he sees you getting closer and buying all his talk, he pulls away.

 

Always be careful of what a man says in the early days. He doesn't really know you yet, he's talking about fantasies or what he could see happening but not necessarily what will happen. The actions men show you over time tell the true story, not their words. I always find this confusing because I say what I mean, but I have learned to pull back and take all the talk with a grain of salt.

 

Over the last few weeks I dated a guy who paid me more compliments than I have ever had in my life and who future talked like crazy. I was wary because I also felt he didn't remember stuff date to date and was likely playing me, but because I was attracted, I did sleep with him knowing he might disappear. And he did, I last saw him over a week ago after the second time we slept together and haven't heard from him since.

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I think I'm just blown away that such a seemingly good thing is just vanishing. It makes me tired of even putting any time of energy into anything. HE pursued me spending every minute we spent together, and I feel so played. Our first date I suggested we have A DRINK and he said he wanted to take me to dinner and we went somewhere really nice, and he bought a bottle of wine, and bought dinner. Then for WEEKS it was "when can I see you again" texts from him and funny text exchanges between us and just fun communication. I then accepted several invitations to go to more nice dinners and do more activities together that HE invited me to and payed for, also inviting some of his best friends along at times, guys and girls, who he kept telling me loved me and they felt I was so good for him and such a good match for him. All driven by him. All with very fun communication that was very light and not geared towards anything serious between us, just lots of talking and laughing and connecting about our commonalities. At this point I could care less what happens here with anything with him, I just feel olayed and hurt and clueless what suddenly changed when things were good. It makes me tired of putting myself out there and putting time into anything and in this case feeling totally misled and used. HE pursued me meeting his friends, HE grabbed my hand and held it at a movie, HE was the one that said that I should stay the weekend with him and he appreciated me taking care of him when he was sick...HE sat at dinner one night and told me he thinks he should settle down and have kids and wants someone like me in his life that he's really compatible with to do that with. I just don't get it. How does someone show all of these signs in one direction, and then just stop and change course without warning and fall off of the face of the Earth?

 

If you don't want anything other than something very casual with no commitment, why for so many weeks show actions that are the opposite? I Just feel totally misled and played. It's a really hurtful feeling. But I will get past it. Just upsetting.

 

Ladtinindy...read "He's Scared, She's Scared" and "Men Who Can't Love".... both describe his behavior to a TEE.

 

He is classic commitment phobe..... CLASSIC!

 

Read those books...you will understand why he is doing this AND how to prevent it from happening again in the future with another guy.

 

I am so sorry, this sounds just so hurtful and confusing. You have done nothing wrong, except perhaps going along with his fast paced agenda....even though I know HE was the pursuer.

 

But yah, it went to fast. Trust me if you leave him alone, he will be back.

 

But that doesn't mean you should take him back because once he gets too close again..... he WILL pull away again..

 

Please read the books. Good luck hon.

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I am simply never going to contact him again. Because he will most likely just string me along and I deserve so much better than that. I can't live in an up in the air dating situation where someone's wants or intentions with me are constantly in question. Would only cause heartache and wasted time. Moving on! Plenty of fish in the sea.

 

Thanks for the book references, those will help me. I'm too nice and trusting and I get burned a lot.

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I am simply never going to contact him again. Because he will most likely just string me along and I deserve so much better than that. I can't live in an up in the air dating situation where someone's wants or intentions with me are constantly in question. Would only cause heartache and wasted time. Moving on! Plenty of fish in the sea.

 

Thanks for the book references, those will help me. I'm too nice and trusting and I get burned a lot.

 

That is the absolutely correct response!! Be proud of yourself for making that decision.

 

The real test will come though when he starts to miss you, and starts to pursue you again. He may even beg, cry, etc. Read the books, it will explain.

 

DON'T fall for it. Otherwise you will be enabling his behavior... I have known women who have been in these hot/cold, push/pull, back and forth relationships for years, nearly destroying them emotionally.

 

But they allowed it, so that's on them.

 

Be smarter than that, which it sounds like you ARE.

 

Block him and delete him so you won't be tempted, if and when he contacts you again.

 

Stay strong... head high!

 

Good luck....:)

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I agree with Katiegirl. Move on. You deserve much better.

 

He'll string you along while he keeps his options open.

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Just a bit of an update on this whole situation....

 

So on Friday afternoon I had a moment of weakness and texted him to say hi. (Insert your criticism here, yes I know I'm possibly risking a lot of heartache here but I had to know how he would respond).

 

Here was the exchange:

 

Me: how's your day going?

Him: really well, I had a meeting with my new boss today. How's your day going?

Me: going well, busy day at work, weathers awesome

Him: good to hear. Yes great weather

Me: if you're not busy Saturday night we should get together

Him: sorry I have plans

 

I never responded, there was no "I'd love to but...." Or anything so I figured that was my last contact I would ever plan on having with him. It answered my curiosity about his response, so I felt closure and like my question of his interest was answered.

 

So, then Saturday rolls around, and at 4:30, right as I am literally walking out the door to go to dinner with a friend, he texts me.

 

Him: what are you up to?

Me: having dinner with a friend tonight that just moved to town from up north. What are you up to?

Him: having dinner with Ara (his best guy friend).

Me: enjoy

 

What the?????? So, let me get this straight...he said he was busy when I mentioned plans that night, but apparently his plans were to go out to dinner with his best guy friend (who is also single) who he sees constantly, and told me he was busy but yet texted me the very night he said he was busy and asked me what I was up to?

 

I don't even know what to think. Other than I think I'm glad I didn't respond and say anything other than I was busy doing other things...

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Just a bit of an update on this whole situation....

 

So on Friday afternoon I had a moment of weakness and texted him to say hi. (Insert your criticism here, yes I know I'm possibly risking a lot of heartache here but I had to know how he would respond).

 

Here was the exchange:

 

Me: how's your day going?

Him: really well, I had a meeting with my new boss today. How's your day going?

Me: going well, busy day at work, weathers awesome

Him: good to hear. Yes great weather

Me: if you're not busy Saturday night we should get together

Him: sorry I have plans

 

I never responded, there was no "I'd love to but...." Or anything so I figured that was my last contact I would ever plan on having with him. It answered my curiosity about his response, so I felt closure and like my question of his interest was answered.

 

So, then Saturday rolls around, and at 4:30, right as I am literally walking out the door to go to dinner with a friend, he texts me.

 

Him: what are you up to?

Me: having dinner with a friend tonight that just moved to town from up north. What are you up to?

Him: having dinner with Ara (his best guy friend).

Me: enjoy

 

What the?????? So, let me get this straight...he said he was busy when I mentioned plans that night, but apparently his plans were to go out to dinner with his best guy friend (who is also single) who he sees constantly, and told me he was busy but yet texted me the very night he said he was busy and asked me what I was up to?

 

I don't even know what to think. Other than I think I'm glad I didn't respond and say anything other than I was busy doing other things...

 

Lady...have you picked up the books I suggested? It's ALL in there....he is classic commitment-phobe.... his behavior is classic!

 

I implore you to read those books for understanding.... and to protect yourself from guys like him in the future.

 

Needless to say, you should not have texted him (which you realize now)...not quite sure what you expected, given all his confusing/crazy-making behavior as of late.

 

Please don't waste any more time and energy attemting to figure him out...you NEVER will...block him.....today!!

 

Commitment-phobes will drive you literally crazy..if you let them. DON'T let him!!

 

Block, delete and move on....please.

Edited by katiegrl
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