Bobbi7 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I recently exchanged numbers with this guy in OLD. We've been texting for the past few days. Anyway, he asked me how my day was and I asked him how his day was. He replied, "lonely." I was like wth? What kind of response is that? Was he wanting for me to have sex with him or something? I was very dry about it and brushed it off. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It means he was feeling lonely. You asked. He answered. If you think he was lying or had an ulterior motive then ask him what he meant. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
fardaxel Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It means he's lonely. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Methodical Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I think you're reading too much into his reply. Had he been trying to hookup, he'd have suggested meeting at a coffee shop or something and from there invited you to his place. His answer was simple. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Interesting reaction. I think romantically we've grown to have little tolerance for an admission like that. It's viewed as weak and infertile ground for desire. We desire what is ever escaping us and being lonely implies a passivity, a resignation. On the other hand, we complain all the time that the people we're with aren't vulnerable enough. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
Lokin4AReason Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 lonely as in no interacting w/ a person in reality its like the everyday aspect of media or texting, its like so impersonal ( not hearing a persons voice of interest or emotions ) 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 (edited) It's hard to say because we're not privy to your previous chats and how you've communicated; Has it been platonic or flirty? Have you met each other in real life? Are you planning to anytime soon? Do you like him and want something to happen? Has either of you chatted about sex or being sexual? etc. I may be wrong but MY experience has been that "lonely" is often code for "I want sex" or at the very least they desire physical interaction of some kind. That's not necessarily a bad thing unless you're not interested in him in that way at all but it's can sometimes be a guy's way of being endearing rather than aggressive about wanting something more. That's my two cents for what it's worth Edited May 29, 2015 by Michelle ma Belle Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 through OLD the cynic in me says lonely is code for sex starved. In another context, it could just mean lonely, desiring companionship 1 Link to post Share on other sites
thegirlinquestion Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 (edited) I dotn think there was anything sexual there. I shoot wedding as a profession and I can tell you that after the event is through and have been among many people, I go home late to my bed but feel very lonely. Edited May 29, 2015 by thegirlinquestion 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaCat Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I'm a cynic so in my eyes, when a guy says he's lonely, it means he's horny & wants you to offer to come over to have sex. Link to post Share on other sites
johndoe2 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I'm a cynic so in my eyes, when a guy says he's lonely, it means he's horny & wants you to offer to come over to have sex. Wow. And women wonder why men don't want to share their feelings. 8 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Bobbi7 Posted May 29, 2015 Author Share Posted May 29, 2015 Well, he does text me every day asking me how my day went! And we haven't even met up yet. He sounds like a stage five clinger. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Means 1 of 2 things 1) Actually lonely 2) Horny Link to post Share on other sites
Dallers Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 The cynicism in this post is comical. The guy says he is lonely so automatically everyone is a reverse psychology specialist. As a guy who is constantly horny trust me when I say that no matter how lonely I am I would not use it as a way of getting you into bed with me, seriously. ha. The guy means he is having one of those days where he feels like the world is out to get him and he has nobody to share his bad day with. He is lonely. Plain and simple. Everybody seriously needs to stop pretending to be something they are not as this world is fake enough as it is already. Online Dating is proof enough of that. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
oberkeat Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Well, he does text me every day asking me how my day went! And we haven't even met up yet. He sounds like a stage five clinger. Might be. I know loneliness pretty well, but mentioning it in conversation with a girl he hasn't even met yet makes him sound a little desperate. OP picked up on this and she finds it a turnoff. Link to post Share on other sites
Popsicle Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 What difference does it make what exactly it means? He was sharing his feelings. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
gaius Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Means he's a whiny biotch. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Art_Critic Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 through OLD the cynic in me says lonely is code for sex starved. In another context, it could just mean lonely, desiring companionship yeah.. it could go either way, maybe he was poking for cyber sex or maybe his dog died last week and he was feeling lonely.. I guess texting back something like "Sorry you are feeling lonely.. something happen today ?" Link to post Share on other sites
caringsister Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) It means he wishes he had someone to come home to after a hard days work. He wishes he had someone to laugh, love and share his life with, his thoughts and dreams with. Someone important in his life. It means a part of him is missing and he is waiting to find her and until he does he will feel the void and it feels lonely. Why does lonely= horny? Why can't it mean just what it is ... he's lonely. The dating game can be so exhausting and disappointing. Has anyone else ever felt so drained from it and wish they could just find the one already? Do you ever get tired of walking into your house at night, turning on the lights and the emptiness and silence jump up to greet you? You toss your keys down on the counter, sigh and head towards your bedroom, plop down on your bed and lay there in the dark, surrounded by quietness ... wishing all the while that it wasn't so? It can be a very lonely feeling. I m curious to know ... those of you that thought his answer meant he was horny. If you were talking to someone and they asked how your day was and you replied, "lonely" ... what language would you be speaking????? Edited May 31, 2015 by caringsister 2 Link to post Share on other sites
utilisateur Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 If he's actually lonely, then he's a clinger. Ditch him. If he means that he's horny, then he's a perv for trying to sleep with you before even meeting in person. Ditch him. Ah, isn't OLD awesome? We can judge people based on single sentences without bothering to ask about their real intentions and the subtexts we'd normally get from face-to-face and voice interaction. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
caringsister Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) Well, he does text me every day asking me how my day went! And we haven't even met up yet. He sounds like a stage five clinger. Maybe he is interested in getting to know you and he is showing it. Poor guys are damned if they do and damned if they don't. If they don't text or call enough well then their not interested. If they do well then their clingy. This guy doesn't stand a chance ... The gavel has been slammed. You sir, are a horny, stage 5 clinger. Edited May 31, 2015 by caringsister 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrlonelyone Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 (edited) I know what it means when someone says they are lonely. When I made my screen name here I was looking for advice about an ex I had an on off relationship with who I had a child with and I was looking for advice on whether or not we can have a relationship. I was lonely for thinking about the family I have but don't have. Right now when I say I am lonely I think of the quality of the interaction I had with my last serious ex. Haven't any of you ever known a SO you could share your deepest most personal thoughts, feelings, vulnerabilities, greatest moments, greatest pains, greatest pleasures best and worst days with? You knew them so well you could look deep into eachothers eyes for minutes at a time even after an argument and know eachothers feelings? I have had that. Now I don't. (Not really we communicate a little reconciliation is improbable) When I look at the dates I have been on since then you know what I felt? I felt lonely. I haven't gotten to know anyone else romantically who I could say...discuss my science with and have them understand it and vice versa...and so many other things. I get treated like a wizard or witch on dates when I'm honest about what I do.* Sex, SEX. A man or woman can be lonely while having sex with their husband or wife if they don't feel connected to that husband or wife. When the man in the OP's case said he was lonely he made the cardinal mistake of the online dating game...he was honest and genuine. TL;DR: He means he feels disconnected from other people in a way that he wants to be connected. That guy who said he was lonely, if this is OLD could have just had a one or two night stand with someone who does nothing for him mentally. Sex is not the cure for lonely ness. Trust me, I know, just as soon as the orgasm is done it comes back. The best scenario for that is that you find someone the sex is good enough with for long enough for the two of you to fake and pantomime an actual relatiionship. (Those are the ones where 2-3 years in one partner wakes up and says "I don't love you. We aren't compatible at all. Sex with you is boring now.". Edited May 31, 2015 by Mrlonelyone 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gloria25 Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 If he's actually lonely, then he's a clinger. Ditch him. If he means that he's horny, then he's a perv for trying to sleep with you before even meeting in person. Ditch him. Ah, isn't OLD awesome? We can judge people based on single sentences without bothering to ask about their real intentions and the subtexts we'd normally get from face-to-face and voice interaction. Yes, and that's why you should watch what you put on your profile... Cuz, you don't get a chance to "explain" what you meant. I mean, on it's face the word "lonely" implies, "looooser", "desperate", "isssues", "something about him makes him undateable, so why should I bother even looking at his profile"... But gosh darn, me reading this thread is the first time that I hear the term "lonely" being used to describe "horny"...But then again, I guess since OLD equates "hook-up site" for many people out there, I guess I will go along with this analogy of lonely = horny. Well, since lonely also = horny, another reason I don't feel bad in not even clicking on their profile. Link to post Share on other sites
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