Daisy-oliviaWentcher Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It seems like communication for a young guy weather early 20's and teens are not very good at communication and shy away from it. I'm not talking about all men but a lot. At what time do men realize that men need to communicate in order to secure a good and healthy relationship and that their " bro's" aren't as important as the girl they're with? Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 According to your post, they learn it after their early 20's and their teens. Also, sorry but at that early age, relationships will probably come and go, but "bros" will still be there after each one. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Honestly I don't think it's men. I find an equal number of women have no communication skills when it comes to relationships, feelings, etc... Thinking women are great communicators is a bit like thinking they don't cheat and only men do. It's just an image that was developed. Neither are true. 9 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Some never do. Women, too. The key is to not waste time behind someone who can't communicate and stop trying to turn them into a renovation project. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
StalwartMind Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Precisely as is being echoed, some people never learn to do even when they've reached an age of old, whereas others pick up the importance of communicating from a young age. It most certainly helps if you are a person capable of listening and showing sincere interest in the conversation, you can typically sense fast with anyone you speak to where their mind is at. Link to post Share on other sites
No Limit Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 They'll learn it once feminism stops punishing them for trying. "Hi, would like a dri-" "HOW DARE YOU TALK TO ME? POLICE, RAPE!" 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Elam Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It seems like communication for a young guy weather early 20's and teens are not very good at communication and shy away from it. I'm not talking about all men but a lot. At what time do men realize that men need to communicate in order to secure a good and healthy relationship and that their " bro's" aren't as important as the girl they're with? Excuse me? My bros aren't as important as the girl I'm with? I've been friends with my buds since kindergarden. I've gone through a lot of stuff with my friends and my friendships matter a whole lot to me, a lot more than some girl. Most romantic relationships don't work, and the relationships that lead to marriage or co-habitation, in many cases the guy is unhappy. How exactly are my bros less important than some girl who can dump me when she feels like it, or who can cheat on me and still take half of what I have? Honestly I don't think it's men. I find an equal number of women have no communication skills when it comes to relationships, feelings, etc... Thinking women are great communicators is a bit like thinking they don't cheat and only men do. It's just an image that was developed. Neither are true. Heh, I wonder what they mean by ''communication''. Sticking their noses into their cellphones? Many times during the day I have to step aside from the path I'm taking because the girl who is in front of me is looking at her text messages and doesn't bother with spatial awareness. Someone else will move! LOL Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Some never do. Women, too. The key is to not waste time behind someone who can't communicate and stop trying to turn them into a renovation project. Well put. I also know quite a number of younger guys, even late teens, who communicate very well and clearly with me. And know plenty of older guys who can't. Since I know more women than men, I know even more women who can't. Some of them may talk a lot, but they aren't always saying anything of significance. And as above says, you can't fix this. Only the individual can work on it, if they choose. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I'm going to echo those who've said this isn't just a male problem but a female one as well. The REAL problem isn't so much that they don't communicate at all but that men and women communicate DIFFERENTLY. A great book to read about the differences between men and women is "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" by John Gray. Very interesting read if you're truly interested in understanding the opposite sex including how they communicate. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 I agree that it comes down more to different communication styles. Men are more practical and logical. Women are more emotional. So both sexes can have a hard time understanding each other. For years I'd see my mom say things like "If you want to go ahead", etc.. Then when my dad would, she'd get mad saying he should have known that she didn't want him to. I'd always ask her "Why not just be direct and tell him what you want?" She could never give me a straight answer. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Honestly, if they want to, they will. If they don't want to, they won't. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 Communication is important for both genders. That much I do agree with but a woman should have to earn the right to be as important as my friends. My woman has but in most cases relationships come and go while my friends have shown their loyalty time and time again. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It seems like communication for a young guy weather early 20's and teens are not very good at communication and shy away from it. I'm not talking about all men but a lot. At what time do men realize that men need to communicate in order to secure a good and healthy relationship and that their " bro's" aren't as important as the girl they're with? This is not about communication skills or bros before ho's, this is about guys who just aren't emotionally committed to a particular girl. Believe me, if they are truly invested, they will make you a priority. If they are emotionally mature and healthy, there will at least be balance. They shouldn't give up everything and not be with their friends and/or give too much time to either the friends or the girl. At this age, most guys aren't focused on having a real relationship, they just want to have fun. But even in these cases, the right one, will bring them around. They begin to realize it when they are actually looking for a relationship and keep failing because of inability to communicate and that's when the learning process begins. So the time frame will be a little different for each one. Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It seems like communication for a young guy weather early 20's and teens are not very good at communication and shy away from it. I'm not talking about all men but a lot. At what time do men realize that men need to communicate in order to secure a good and healthy relationship and that their " bro's" aren't as important as the girl they're with? probably around 40 i would guess Link to post Share on other sites
Vintage79 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 OP - I'm guessing you're pretty young, or just oddly clueless, as friends are a super important part of a person's life, so hoping that they'll give you every second of their life and neglect their friends is selfish and naive. Anyhow, there are plenty of guys and plenty of women (this isn't a gender specific issue), that struggle to communicate - for many, they either do it naturally, from a younger age, or they struggle for a long time - there's a lot of variability - some people are great at communication by the age of 20, others not so much. That said, typical complaints like yours are generally due to a disconnect between the two people (i.e. one person is needy, or needs a lot of contact, communication, whereas the other does not). To that end, if you're struggling, you're likely not picking people that are compatible with you...learn how to pick people that are more compatible with you. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
123321 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 It seems like communication for a young guy weather early 20's and teens are not very good at communication and shy away from it. I'm not talking about all men but a lot. At what time do men realize that men need to communicate in order to secure a good and healthy relationship and that their " bro's" aren't as important as the girl they're with? Endless blather is not communication. Guys communicate in an extremely efficient and effective way. We don't talk about the weather and expect it to matter, whether you think so or not. Link to post Share on other sites
loveweary11 Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 As a follow up, I don't mean men are logical, women are emotional. I mean more and more women have almost no emotion or at least can't communicate them. Link to post Share on other sites
Phoe Posted May 29, 2015 Share Posted May 29, 2015 As a follow up, I don't mean men are logical, women are emotional. I mean more and more women have almost no emotion or at least can't communicate them. As a very logical woman, I often feel out of my element trying to behave or communicate based on emotion. I try to logically evaluate those emotions, and often do just fine with that, but sometimes there's no sense in it, and it drives me insane. Sometimes when I try to communicate about something that is purely emotional, I struggle to do so in words that even make sense to me, because if I can't even comprehend what I'm trying to communicate, how can I expect anyone else to? And it's certainly not a lack of desire to communicate, it's definitely there, and I do try, but I'm prone to getting frustrated at myself for feeling like there are no words in the English language that can even convey what I'm feeling. And oddly enough, that feels like a failure on my part. Sometimes I feel like Spock... mostly logical, but with that utterly confusing human and emotional side throwing me for a loop. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
bippy123 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I guess I'm not the typical guy be usse I have always been good at deep communication . I have felt that most women aren't good at communicating their deep inner feelings . Maybe I'm just the anomaly . I think both genders in general have lost the trust to communicate their innermost heart felt feelings with another . In order to talk from the soul u need to first learn to open your soul . 2 Link to post Share on other sites
johndoe2 Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 I'm reminded of another thread in this section where someone mentioned that some guy from an online dating site casually mentioned to the OP in a message that he was lonely. Whether one thinks that appropriate or not, a couple commenters took the position that when a guy says he's lonely, it really means he's horny and wants sex. Just one recent example as to why many men might be justified in taking the 'Miranda approach" to communication: anything you say can and will be used against you. Telling your innermost feelings can get you in hot water. Loose lips sink ships. I guess that'd be relation-ships in this case. Ha! I'm proud of that pun. Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 As a very logical woman, I often feel out of my element trying to behave or communicate based on emotion. I try to logically evaluate those emotions, and often do just fine with that, but sometimes there's no sense in it, and it drives me insane. Sometimes when I try to communicate about something that is purely emotional, I struggle to do so in words that even make sense to me, because if I can't even comprehend what I'm trying to communicate, how can I expect anyone else to? And it's certainly not a lack of desire to communicate, it's definitely there, and I do try, but I'm prone to getting frustrated at myself for feeling like there are no words in the English language that can even convey what I'm feeling. And oddly enough, that feels like a failure on my part. Sometimes I feel like Spock... mostly logical, but with that utterly confusing human and emotional side throwing me for a loop. I can relate to this. You aren't doing anything wrong, just existing, and then sometimes other people don't understand why you aren't being an emotional female. Most of the time, this does'nt mean something is amiss, such as not feminine. It means someone is stable and not a free spirit. Link to post Share on other sites
SLee Posted May 30, 2015 Share Posted May 30, 2015 Communication is a SKILL that needs to be learned regardless of gender. It takes wanting to do it, practice, and hard work. It's tough to learn especially in your early 20s when life is very self-centered for some good reasons like education, building a life/future you want etc. Some people don't learn it. My mom never properly learned it. Neither did my step dad. Their relationship turned to divorce for it. As for "bros", I've always been very pro-bro, in that I've actively encouraged my SOs to have good friends outside of the relationship because I think that it's very healthy. I like having my own gal pals and have been healthier in relationships for it. Friends outside of a romantic partnership are important regardless of age or gender. Now, if someone has a bunch of responsibilities and is can't pay bills because of missing work to go out with friends all time or has to be around to help raising children so they shouldn't go out as much, that's a little different. But even then, friends are important. It's a balance. Link to post Share on other sites
markleymassraff Posted May 31, 2015 Share Posted May 31, 2015 Well, my last involvement that I actually cared about was with a 31-year-old guy, and he didn't communicate with me very well. Even when I tried to get straight answers and be light-hearted enough about things that he could feel comfortable with being honest with me, he would not communicate. So. Perhaps he just didn't want to communicate with me. I guess I'm just saying...I don't know when they start communicating. Link to post Share on other sites
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