Did I just get faded out?

[Speika]

I went on a second date recently. On the first date she seemed very into me, very touchy and couldn't keep her eyes off me. We had a good connection and it was fun. When I suggested a second she was very keen and we spoke every day up to the second date as we had been leading up to the first. On the Second date she didn't seem nearly as interested during it. We didn't seem to click like we had on the first date and all in all it was ok. Not terrible but not great either.

 

The next day I sent her a text saying that I'd had fun and that I liked her though got the feeling she didn't feel the same way. She replied that she'd had fun and hadn't been able to tell if I did like her. We continued to talk all that evening as we had before with her often sending another message to continue the conversation if it had run its course. The next day I asked if she wanted go out again sometime. She replied she didn't know what to do as she didn't want to lead me on. I wasn't really sure what she meant by that as her follow up message suggested she wasn't just blowing me off. I left it saying I'm not expecting anything just asking if you want to meet up again. There wasn't a reply to this so I thought fine you don't, no worries.

 

That would have been fine except the next evening I get a text asking how I am. I reply a bit later but no response. The next day we talk for a bit but nothing much except when she pointed out I had nice eyes. I left it the next day to see if she'd text me but she didn't then the next day when I message her I get no response. I think she was away on holiday by this day but if she'd been interested she'd have found time to reply. A few days later I get a message asking about meeting up only to get another message beginning with "lol so sorry, that wasn't for you". She was on holiday and it gave me the impression that was a hook up she knew over there as she'd lived there not so long ago. Kind of crappy to send me a message seemingly meant for another guy despite her saying it was meant for a friend when she knows I'm interested and to then apologise with lol. Is that funny? I didn't respond to that and haven't heard from her since.

 

Anyway...long rambling story over. If your fading someone out why would you be the one to initiate contact occasionally and why would you specifically say you don't want to lead someone on...and then lead them on. I gave her a way out straight after the second date. I handed it to her on a plate. Was she still maybe interested after or is she just crappy at turning someone down?

 

I'm writing this on my phone on the train so I apologise for any sentence structure/grammatical/basic English problems.

Edited May 27, 2015 by Speika
Grammar

[MonorailCat]

I went on a second date recently. On the first date she seemed very into me, very touchy and couldn't keep her eyes off me. We had a good connection and it was fun.

 

Why didn't you kiss her?

 

When I suggested a second she was very keen and we spoke every day up to the second date as we had been leading up to the first. On the Second date she didn't seem nearly as interested during it. We didn't seem to click like we had on the first date and all in all it was ok. Not terrible but not great either.

 

Why did you go a step back in physical contact? She wanted YOU to take charge and escalate to a kiss .. thats your job on a date.

 

The next day I sent her a text saying that I'd had fun and that I liked her though got the feeling she didn't feel the same way.

 

aaaand game over. First you are not brave enough to kiss her and then you write something filled with self-doubt. The double-whammy of unattractive behavior

 

She replied that she'd had fun and hadn't been able to tell if I did like her.

 

Translation: I gave you all the signs and you still didn't kiss me. And now I am not sure about you anymore.

 

Rest of text

She is playing games with you for attention. Don't know if you can salvage that. probably not. Stop texting her.

 

For the next time: Don't text so much, especially stop asking women if they like you. And more proactive physical contact. Don't wait, lead!

[Speika]

Why didn't you kiss her?

 

When did I say I didn't? I left loads out of what happened on the actual dates because it was the bit after I was curious about. The second date was a dud. I know that and knew from early on.

 

She didn't give me any signs on the second date, in fact quite the opposite.

 

I wasn't looking for approval by my message I was just trying to be honest. I knew from that second date she wasn't really feeling it and although I liked her I wasn't sure that we had potential. She then continued to text me so I thought maybe it was worth another shot.

 

I'm aware of where and how I messed up in the actual dates, it's the bit after that had me unsure.

[MonorailCat]

I'm aware of where and how I messed up in the actual dates, it's the bit after that had me unsure.

 

Things like that are hard to answer without knowing what happenend between Date 1 and Date 2 that caused her to cool off that much.

Maybe she wants you to initiate another date, maybe she just enjoys the attention, maybe she wants to keep you around in case her alternatives don't pan out.

[Redhead14]

I went on a second date recently. On the first date she seemed very into me, very touchy and couldn't keep her eyes off me. We had a good connection and it was fun. When I suggested a second she was very keen and we spoke every day up to the second date as we had been leading up to the first. On the Second date she didn't seem nearly as interested during it. We didn't seem to click like we had on the first date and all in all it was ok. Not terrible but not great either.

 

The next day I sent her a text saying that I'd had fun and that I liked her though got the feeling she didn't feel the same way. She replied that she'd had fun and hadn't been able to tell if I did like her. We continued to talk all that evening as we had before with her often sending another message to continue the conversation if it had run its course. The next day I asked if she wanted go out again sometime. She replied she didn't know what to do as she didn't want to lead me on. I wasn't really sure what she meant by that as her follow up message suggested she wasn't just blowing me off. I left it saying I'm not expecting anything just asking if you want to meet up again. There wasn't a reply to this so I thought fine you don't, no worries.

 

That would have been fine except the next evening I get a text asking how I am. I reply a bit later but no response. The next day we talk for a bit but nothing much except when she pointed out I had nice eyes. I left it the next day to see if she'd text me but she didn't then the next day when I message her I get no response. I think she was away on holiday by this day but if she'd been interested she'd have found time to reply. A few days later I get a message asking about meeting up only to get another message beginning with "lol so sorry, that wasn't for you". She was on holiday and it gave me the impression that was a hook up she knew over there as she'd lived there not so long ago. Kind of crappy to send me a message seemingly meant for another guy despite her saying it was meant for a friend when she knows I'm interested and to then apologise with lol. Is that funny? I didn't respond to that and haven't heard from her since.

 

Anyway...long rambling story over. If your fading someone out why would you be the one to initiate contact occasionally and why would you specifically say you don't want to lead someone on...and then lead them on. I gave her a way out straight after the second date. I handed it to her on a plate. Was she still maybe interested after or is she just crappy at turning someone down?

 

I'm writing this on my phone on the train so I apologise for any sentence structure/grammatical/basic English problems.

 

I'd say she's kinda just keeping you on the backburner in case she didn't get a better offer.

 

And, when you want a second date with a woman, don't say "do you want to get together again sometime?" Ask for a specific day, time and place. If she's not available that day, she should offer an alternate if she's really interested.

[Speika]

And, when you want a second date with a woman, don't say "do you want to get together again sometime?" Ask for a specific day, time and place. If she's not available that day, she should offer an alternate if she's really interested.

 

I do often do that but what's the difference? If she likes you she says yes, if she doesn't she says no...or slowly stops replying to your texts.