UnknownSoldier Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Let's say you're trying to pick up women, and you want to build conversation before asking her out. You need to build conversation, because it builds trust, and she doesn't really know you. Walking and stopping way too close to her invades her psychological space, but standing too far can show insecurity. Does anyone have a good idea of how many feet you should be standing from a girl to avoid risk of being filtered? Filtered means she stops showing interest in you, and you're off her radar for good. Women have a filtering mechanism, meaning you only have one shot to pull off all the good patterns in picking her up. Answers appreciated, thanks. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Please do not go and measure the distance... I have visions of you with a tape measure... between 1-2ft with you standing slightly off to one side so she always has a clear exit. Do not stand directly in front. To the side or at an angle is best. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 4.2 feet. 3.9 if she smiles at you. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
organizedchaos Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Let's say you're trying to pick up women, and you want to build conversation before asking her out. You need to build conversation, because it builds trust, and she doesn't really know you. Walking and stopping way too close to her invades her psychological space, but standing too far can show insecurity. Does anyone have a good idea of how many feet you should be standing from a girl to avoid risk of being filtered? Filtered means she stops showing interest in you, and you're off her radar for good. Women have a filtering mechanism, meaning you only have one shot to pull off all the good patterns in picking her up. Answers appreciated, thanks. Is this some sort of PUA bs? This should be common knowledge regarding talking to any stranger. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UnknownSoldier Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Is this some sort of PUA bs? This should be common knowledge regarding talking to any stranger. You can't go by "common knowledge", because a guy trying to pick up women wouldn't know this. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UnknownSoldier Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 4.2 feet. 3.9 if she smiles at you. No, that's way too far. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Much over thinking. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UnknownSoldier Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Please do not go and measure the distance... I have visions of you with a tape measure... between 1-2ft with you standing slightly off to one side so she always has a clear exit. Do not stand directly in front. To the side or at an angle is best. 1ft, are you serious? I got filtered last time I stood that close. Maybe I was using too much positive body language? Yeah, I've been walking around with an invisible tape measure in my head. This is bad. The advice you gave seems pretty decent. Its probably best to stand the same feet you would as a stranger, and then turn your body slightly to the side so you're not showing you're desperate. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 It depends on what you're saying. If you're not being nice, stand outside her strike radius. Otherwise, you can be closer, but you'll know you're too close if she starts frowning or moving back. In that case, back off a little. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UnknownSoldier Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 It depends on what you're saying. If you're not being nice, stand outside her strike radius. Otherwise, you can be closer, but you'll know you're too close if she starts frowning or moving back. In that case, back off a little. Last time I stood 1ft from a girl, I got filtered. I am assuming it was too much positive body language, and not the amount of feet. I have stood 1ft away from women, and have still been on their radar. The problem is that I'm now walking around with an invisible tape measure in my head ever since that 9/10 gave me that evil glare. It was horrible, and I don't want to see a look like that ever again. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Is this some sort of PUA bs? This should be common knowledge regarding talking to any stranger. Agh yes but then you are probably well versed in talking to people and feel comfortable doing so. You can't go by "common knowledge", because a guy trying to pick up women wouldn't know this. Why not just treat them as normal people? Why treat them as "pick up objects"? Don't stand in front and turn slightly away, stand slightly to the side. Their path to get away from you should always be clear. I am not so sure questions like this are going to help you "pick up" women though... 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Last time I stood 1ft from a girl, I got filtered. I am assuming it was too much positive body language, and not the amount of feet. I have stood 1ft away from women, and have still been on their radar. The problem is that I'm now walking around with an invisible tape measure in my head ever since that 9/10 gave me that evil glare. It was horrible, and I don't want to see a look like that ever again. Hate to say it but you will. Just the same as I will and every other single person who is trying to date and meet new people will. Put the tape measure in your head away. The distance you stand also depends on where you are. Obviously you will need to stand closer in noisy environments than you would in quieter ones. Practice talking to women of all ages when ever you see them. Yep thats right the women who stand next to you in line waiting to pay for groceries or fuel for your car, at the gym. base you conversation on just interacting with another person and learn how to talk to them. When you have mastered that you will naturally know how far to stand and which women are more likely to give you the nasty looks. Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii51 Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I like to really get in there.. If she can't take heavy petting and panting with my introduction, it's her loss! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Then stand about 3 feet away, and let her move in closer. Speak quietly so she has reason to move in to hear you better. If she doesn't, she isn't interested. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 Much over thinking. Amen. Is this really something men worry about let alone think about? Geez. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
joseb Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 I like to really get in there.. If she can't take heavy petting and panting with my introduction, it's her loss! It's the only way to know for sure. Otherwise you could be wasting valuable minutes talking, while other targets in the room get away! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
alphamale Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 this is rediculous. if you can't figure out how near or far to stand then you won't be picking up any women 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UnknownSoldier Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Agh yes but then you are probably well versed in talking to people and feel comfortable doing so. Why not just treat them as normal people? Why treat them as "pick up objects"? Don't stand in front and turn slightly away, stand slightly to the side. Their path to get away from you should always be clear. I am not so sure questions like this are going to help you "pick up" women though... I'm not treating them as pick up objects, I'm trying to follow the appropriate steps. As long as she has a "path" to move, it doesn't matter where on the floor you're standing. Tilting your body helps. Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 If you want my attention than move close to me, If I don't like what I see I will simply move away. If I like you I will let you move in my personal bubble that's your cue you can talk to me. My personal bubble is 1 foot radius but in my case it's due to my culture, our personal space is smaller than others. Toodaloo being British probably has a wider personal space it's preferable you don't enter without express signal. I work in a very multicultural environment it's interesting how with my Asian ladies co-workers we have practically no personal space, we stand very close and touch while talking, not something the Irish ladies here do! So be aware who you're hitting on, you might get surprises. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UnknownSoldier Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Hate to say it but you will. Just the same as I will and every other single person who is trying to date and meet new people will. Put the tape measure in your head away. The distance you stand also depends on where you are. Obviously you will need to stand closer in noisy environments than you would in quieter ones. Practice talking to women of all ages when ever you see them. Yep thats right the women who stand next to you in line waiting to pay for groceries or fuel for your car, at the gym. base you conversation on just interacting with another person and learn how to talk to them. When you have mastered that you will naturally know how far to stand and which women are more likely to give you the nasty looks. Yeah, I tried walking up to a girl I liked at my job the other day. I stood way too far, I was about 5.3 feet away. I don't think she liked that. What I need to do is get rid of the tape measure, and just use a normal distance. This is going to take practice. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UnknownSoldier Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 I like to really get in there.. If she can't take heavy petting and panting with my introduction, it's her loss! Haha, good one. If she doesn't like up front seduction, screw her! Link to post Share on other sites
Author UnknownSoldier Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Then stand about 3 feet away, and let her move in closer. Speak quietly so she has reason to move in to hear you better. If she doesn't, she isn't interested. I don't think amount of feet matters, I think the feet should just be as normal as you would with a stranger. Normal range is probably 1-2 ft. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UnknownSoldier Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Amen. Is this really something men worry about let alone think about? Geez. LOL!! I actually laughed reading this. Yes, its something to worry about, because I don't want to invade her psychological space!! Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted May 27, 2015 Share Posted May 27, 2015 What I need to do is get rid of the tape measure, and just use a normal distance. This is going to take practice. Yep and yep! When you are talking to your sister or your mother or an aunt, how far away do you stand or sit? If you are talking to one of your buddies when you talk to them how far do you stand...? The distance should be the same. Back off if they give negative signals, lean in or get slightly closer if you have positive ones. At 5.3 ft you are practically shouting. You may as well have stood across the other side of the room. How do you know it was 5.3ft? Link to post Share on other sites
Author UnknownSoldier Posted May 27, 2015 Author Share Posted May 27, 2015 Yep and yep! When you are talking to your sister or your mother or an aunt, how far away do you stand or sit? If you are talking to one of your buddies when you talk to them how far do you stand...? The distance should be the same. Back off if they give negative signals, lean in or get slightly closer if you have positive ones. At 5.3 ft you are practically shouting. You may as well have stood across the other side of the room. How do you know it was 5.3ft? I might be exaggerating a bit, but it was a great distance. The girl seems around 19 or 20 years old, I'm 29. She's also petite, and seems pretty open to talking. I lost some confidence that day, because I stood too far from her. Link to post Share on other sites
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