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Is he truly interested and just awkward or only keeping me as an option?


ktragers

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I've been kind of seeing a guy that I met online for a while and it's been going reeeaaaallly slow. I never felt like he was that interested in me but I can't say that he's not interested either. I'll keep the different stages brief:

 

Started messaging around late February and found a lot in common and we enjoyed communicating. However he was so slow in asking me out to take the conversation offline, so a month later I couldn't help but suggested a meeting myself and he quickly agreed to it. We live 30 minutes away from each other so we're not technically in the same town.

 

Finally had our first date around early April and it went really well. Had a lot of fun, he extended the date and didn't want to leave, we even heavily made out toward the end, talked about a second date, etc. I had some hopes.

 

Unlike some others who'd started talking daily for hours, he barely communicated after the first date except a few emails and texts. Good news he still mentioned the second date idea and asked me if I was still up for it. I said yes but he never followed with any planning with the logistics and I picked up the "work" again and we had a great second date too... Spent an entire evening together and ended the night with making out again. I sensed that he's a bit awkward with dating but then again he can be pretty smooth during the date.

 

After the second date, he always kept in touch about twice a week or so, and since his weekends were all filled with plans out of town, and then a long vacation abroad in early May, we haven't been able to get together again since. He did still reach out and ask about my weekend plans, and he also texted me right before his trip abroad, etc. Now that he's back and he reached out and talked about potentially going out soon but still he never followed up with details. Sometimes we'd even talk about making a trip together out of town (because our favorite band or team will be somewhere we want to see) and he's fully on board but it seems like he's always waiting for me to make a move.

 

So this really confuses me. My idea of dating if two parties are both interested is that we'd talk daily and slowly build a connection, but it seems like he's okay with just not completely losing contact. I don't feel like we've been bonding at all with the lack of communication and it's a shame. However in the past I've dated someone similar and when I finally broke it off because I didn't really like him, he said he actually liked me and didn't want it to end and he was just shy. This one is a nice guy and I'm interested in seeing where this goes, but I also don't want to appear to be the eager one. I usually don't get connected until I know for sure the other person is truly interested too.

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After 90+ days you have been out 2 whole times?

 

That's not slow. That's glacial.

 

Nobody is that busy. When I met DH I had a FT job, a PT job, served on 2 Boards, volunteered for the political party of my choosing & ran the largest women's business group in my area, with a membership over 1,000 & a staff of 5. I still had time to date.

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After 90+ days you have been out 2 whole times?

 

That's not slow. That's glacial.

 

Nobody is that busy. When I met DH I had a FT job, a PT job, served on 2 Boards, volunteered for the political party of my choosing & ran the largest women's business group in my area, with a membership over 1,000 & a staff of 5. I still had time to date.

 

I agree it's ridiculous, but with the 30 miles in between us and him having been out of town almost every weekend since mid-April, I guess that's the best we could do unless we wanted to arrange a mid-week date and meet somewhere in between...

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30 miles is no excuse.

 

I don't think he's all that interested. If I were you I'd give up. If he comes around & you are still interested fine but until he makes an effort, you can't continue to chase

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Eternal Sunshine

30 miles is nothing. My current guy wants to see me every second day and we live close to 50 miles apart, he recently had surgery etc.

 

I am not saying my situation will last just that when a guy really wants to be with you, he finds the time and he finds the way.

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