Were any of you forbidden from dating outside your race or religion?

[AVarma]

I myself was forbidden from talking and especially dating non-muslim girls. I wasn't allowed to talk to Muslim girls either but their parents usually enforced the same rules so it was expected.

 

Do any of you have any similar stories? Were any of you forbidden from dating or marrying outside your race or religion?

[d0nnivain]

In a HS a dear friend asked me to prom. I'm white. He is black. My parents would not let me go with him. I was mortified. Fortunately, he's a wonderful guy & we're still friendly all these years later.

[Toodaloo]

My parents wouldn't dare. Not for something like that. If I brought home a woman as my partner, Asian man, black, short, tall... They would take their time to get to know them and only pitch in if the person were mean to me.

 

They know full well that I would not stand for such behaviour from them after all they taught me!

 

They are not backward in coming forward if they do not like someone, for what ever reason though. My father met Tom Cruise once and told him actors were poofters who wouldn't know a hard days work if it slapped them in the face... No - Sadly I am not joking... Tom Cruise, however, I can confirm is a really great guy, very kind, genuine and generous, and yes he is always smiling at people! He took it on the chin and took a great interest in my fathers work and concerns. He is a very thoughtful man.

 

As all our friends all eventually become family friends as well it makes it more awkward. The lot of them are currently ganging up on me because I am still being kind to the separated guy from last year and still trying to do things to cheer him up. I had the "intervention" on a walk on Sunday afternoon... none of them ever want to see me the way I was at the end with my ex ever again.

 

So no. I am only forbidden from dating a-holes...

 

Sorry to hear this AVarma.

[jen1447]

I think my parents quickly gave up on any prohibitions when I started bringing girls home .... So yeah they knew it was pointless. Anyway religion was never an issue but I have a feeling race may have been for my dad if I hadn't straightened things out early.

[mammasita]

Oh yeah, my dad is the most racist man in the freaking universe.....

 

"I'm not racist but if you ever bring home a black man, a Hispanic man....well anyone but a white man....."

 

Seriously? My argument has always been "you'd rather have me with a wife beating white man than a loving black man huh?

 

Not to mention, I'm Mestiza. Double standard much?

 

He can pretty much go screw himself. My sons father is 1/2 Dominican.

[Hopeful30]

Yes but I dated them anyway

[cessna]

My parents wouldn't dare. Not for something like that. If I brought home a woman as my partner, Asian man, black, short, tall... They would take their time to get to know them and only pitch in if the person were mean to me.

 

They know full well that I would not stand for such behaviour from them after all they taught me!

 

They are not backward in coming forward if they do not like someone, for what ever reason though. My father met Tom Cruise once and told him actors were poofters who wouldn't know a hard days work if it slapped them in the face... No - Sadly I am not joking... Tom Cruise, however, I can confirm is a really great guy, very kind, genuine and generous, and yes he is always smiling at people! He took it on the chin and took a great interest in my fathers work and concerns. He is a very thoughtful man.

 

As all our friends all eventually become family friends as well it makes it more awkward. The lot of them are currently ganging up on me because I am still being kind to the separated guy from last year and still trying to do things to cheer him up. I had the "intervention" on a walk on Sunday afternoon... none of them ever want to see me the way I was at the end with my ex ever again.

 

So no. I am only forbidden from dating a-holes...

 

Sorry to hear this AVarma.

 

I want to go for a pint with your dad, he sounds like my kind of bloke.

[OrangeParty]

My parents are okay with any race except one (religion more than race, really). I don't blame them though, our "races" had a bloody history that affected them.

[Dork Vader]

Nope, the only thing my parents ever wanted was me too be happy.

[GorillaTheater]

My parents are okay with any race except one (religion more than race, really). I don't blame them though, our "races" had a bloody history that affected them.

 

I'm guessing that the other "race" can be described as "green"?

 

My family wasn't entirely immune to that sort of thinking, either, seeing as how I'm named after a famous Irish king.

[No Limit]

To my shame, my mother is racist. Any guy that isn't white is a no-go, and since all Muslims are evil evil terrorists Muslims aren't allowed either. It wouldn't stop me from dating someone "forbidden" though - as long as he wouldn't be from my hometown. Sadly, just that happened last year; he was black and did interest me, but our hometown is too small, our spy-like neighbours would have asked my mom someday about the "nice guy I'm hanging out with" and then I'd be in big trouble. As long as I'm financially dependant from my mother I could (and would) only do it secretly in my city college.

[AVarma]

In a HS a dear friend asked me to prom. I'm white. He is black. My parents would not let me go with him. I was mortified. Fortunately, he's a wonderful guy & we're still friendly all these years later.

 

I'm so sorry to hear that. He must have been humiliated. He never held a grudge against you for it?

 

I think my parents quickly gave up on any prohibitions when I started bringing girls home .... So yeah they knew it was pointless. Anyway religion was never an issue but I have a feeling race may have been for my dad if I hadn't straightened things out early.

 

You brought home girls when your parents were around?

[OrangeParty]

I'm guessing that the other "race" can be described as "green"?

 

I've never heard it being described that way before, so maybe not.

 

It's just that we grew up in a country where my race is oppressed by the "green" race. If you marry into that race, you must, by law, forfeit any and all ties and connections to your old culture... this includes things like legal name, inheritance and property. That is obviously unacceptable.

[Arieswoman]

I was brought up as a Protestant so my parents were against Catholics. I never met any Catholic boys when I lived at home, so it didn't matter.....

 

Once I'd left home I dated who I wanted....

[thestaircase]

I grow up in a traditional Chinese family. My mother wants me to married a Chinese guy. Mind her, she was an emotionally/physically abusive mother.

I left her house when I was 18 and now I'm 30, so it been more than a decade I don't live with her, she can't control my life.

 

My mother disapproved my husband because he is not Chinese. But I don't care, becasue I'm Financially independent so she have no power to control me.

I married my husband and she disown me, and I don't care thatneither. I'm not gonna give up my life happiness for an abusive mother.

 

My husband is Black (African-American), his ancestor come from Sierra Leone (West Africa). But he born in USA, his father and grandfather also born in USA, so he pretty much very African-American.

 

I'm Chinese (Asian-American), my whole family immigrant to USA when I was 12, so I grow up in the western culture. However, I'm still very traditional, and I still hang on to alot of my Chinese cultures.

 

We married now, so my ignorant mother can't try to stop us anymore. At most she can do is disown me, which she did and that's rights.

I have zero regrets though, he is an awesome awesome husband!

It was me that drag the relationship too long, should have married him earlier instead of wait till I'm 30

Edited May 27, 2015 by thestairs

[Ruby Slippers]

I briefly dated a black man in college, and my dad and oldest brother gave me a hard time about it, as did his mother because he wasn't sticking to his race. Back then it really bothered me. I was much less secure and more fearful. Now I don't care what they think. One of my best dating prospects at the moment is a very romantic, good-hearted, and super masculine and athletic black man. He's one of the sweetest men I've met in a very long time. He's the only prospect I've gotten to know in ages who has been purely romantic and hasn't sexualized the process of getting to know each other in any way. And that makes him the guy I feel most drawn to sexually, because while I think it's pretty obvious he's a very sexual guy and is attracted to me in that way, he's created an atmosphere of respect and romance, which gets me hotter than any salacious comments ever could.

[acrosstheuniverse]

No. I would find that so sad and it would drive a great wedge between me and my parents if I even thought that they'd treat somebody new I'd found love with with such disrespect based on something like colour or ethnicity.

 

My maternal grandparents were racist, I remember as a four year old girl having an argument with my Grandma, I can't remember how it came up but I said of course I would marry a black man if I liked him, my Grandma said if I did that I would be out of this family forever. I argued back and said that skin colour is not relevant and how could she be so nasty about somebody based on something like that. I remember it vividly. I guess it shows that even with racist grandparents, my own parents did a good job. I couldn't understand aged four why some people could be judged badly for being a different colour.

 

My parents trust me to choose whoever I like to date, I'm sure if there were glaring red flags or I brought a guy back who didn't have a job, was married, had five kids or whatever there'd be raised eyebrows but they've always trusted me to run my life according to my own judgment, something I'm incredibly grateful for.

[Ruby Slippers]

^ When I was 6 years old, with friends of many colors, my dad asked me, "Why do you have black friends?" I said, "Because they're nice."

 

He made it clear that he didn't approve. Even at 6, I knew down to my bones that he was ignorant and wrong.

[thestaircase]

One of my best dating prospects at the moment is a very romantic, good-hearted, and super masculine and athletic black man. He's one of the sweetest men I've met in a very long time.

 

This is new, you didn't let me know so I can be happy for you. Is this the one that you mentioned in another thread that you recently met, the one that into music like you? The one that wrote you the long ROMANTIC letter?

You have so many 'male' friends, and dating prospects, so I'm confuse which one is which one, lol

 

Lord, I have ONE husband, just him and him only and he is already a HANDFUL!!

 

I need help Ms. Ruby Slippers, I'm trying to plan something memorable for my husband birthday. He got few more months till his B-day, so I still have time to plan, but I'm still clueless on what to get him, as in presents and gifts.

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/romantic/marriage-life-partnerships/528664-birthday-present-husband-wife-so-what-you-get-need-ideas-husband-b-day-gift

That is my thread, can you read it and give me some ideas? You can reply here to give me ideas if you want.

 

A Gemini Moon person like me is sooo clueless when it come to romantic stuff, I don't know what to get for my husband birthday, perhaps be his slave on his B-day.

My husband is also not romantic, so we both equally unromantic and boring. That's why we married each others, lol

 

He left to his Warehouse job, and I can't go back to sleep. So I'm here in bed with my Laptop reading around threads, lol

I hope 2016 come soon so we can buy our small house, and he go back to work 1 job. I need more time with my husband, don't like him working 2 jobs, but someone got to sacrifice. Thank God it just temporary for one year.

 

 

And Mrs. Ruby Slippers,

I'm Chinese. I was worried too that my mother in-law didn't like me. But my mother in-law really likes me, she hugs me all the times. She said I'm a cute and bubbly girl, LOL!

She was a witness at our wedding, so I fully have her permission to married her son, or else she won't be a witness.

 

Me and my husband were friends for 2 years prior to dating, so I already know his mother that whole time. She wasn't surprise at all when we dating, it like she already expected, lol

Edited May 27, 2015 by thestairs

[Ruby Slippers]

^ Hey, sweetheart. I'm sorry I've been neglecting you! I'm typing on my phone in bed, can't sleep.

 

Yes, he's the one who responded to my true love letter/ad. His letter was by far the best and most sincere and in-depth of about 200 responses. He's a classic Virgo He's sooooo cute and smart, romantic, loving, open-hearted. I'm taking a little vacation this weekend (first vacation in forever, going to this magical outdoor music festival and camping in nature, woo!), but he's hinted at meeting once I'm back, and I've been receptive. He's like an old world knight, very romantic and respectful. I was starting to think all those guys had died out. He sends me sweet little e-cards with flowers and twinkles sometimes, with philosophical quotes about true love I thanked him, and he said he feels he needs to thank me for giving him a reason and the inspiration to do such romantic things It turns out we grew up in the same small town! Lived in the same European country! He was in the army, infantry, dealt with intense physical extremes. He's a badass

 

I do suddenly have all these suitable prospects, because I'm truly ready and singing my siren song. Men have been popping up from every direction - the love letter, dating site, normal life. Of this big wave, I have 3 very strong prospects right now, and he's one of them. He wrote me this long, gorgeous, romantic letter in response to my words alone, without even seeing a picture, responding in detail to everything I wrote. It doesn't get much more romantic than that. He included pictures and he is gorgeous! But humble and modest. Then I sent pictures back, and he responded very favorably.

 

Another one is this intense, passionate Scorpio who's done so many interesting things in life, such a fascinating guy. We're meeting tomorrow for a drink. I was going to meet him after my trip, too, but he convinced me to just meet him for an hour. But given how effortless our conversations have been, we'll probably end up talking for hours. It's ok, I worked my butt off all last week so I'd have plenty of time to prepare for my trip this week. I can afford to enjoy a night out.

 

And there's one other man I'm getting really good mojo from, too. I know him through a business connection. He's a more subdued kind of guy, but very smart and interesting. He ran his own tech business, did well with it, and retired at 40, but does other business stuff mostly for personal fulfillment now. He's already helped me a lot with some minor tech stuff for my business. So he started more as a business connection and friend, but he's turning up the flirtation heat and suggested I join him for another outdoor festival later in the summer. Also Virgo

 

I've been totally honest with all of them about my siren song and the overwhelming response. Now I'm worrying about one of them wanting to kiss me before I pick the right one. I can't multi-kiss lol And these two guys in particular are soooo cool. I already feel kind of sad about not choosing one of them. But I know it'll work out for the best.

 

I'm gonna go respond to your birthday thread now. I probably won't have time to look at the astrology stuff till after my trip...

Edited May 27, 2015 by Ruby Slippers

[guest569]

My family is non racist thankfully, and encourage us to follow our hearts and keep our head screwed on and all will be fine. No one better or worse than anyone else no matter what you do or where you come from. Or who you do or do not worship.

[thestaircase]

^ Hey, sweetheart. I'm sorry I've been neglecting you! I'm typing on my phone in bed, can't sleep.

 

Yes, he's the one who responded to my true love letter/ad. His letter was by far the best and most sincere and in-depth of about 200 responses. He's a classic Virgo He's sooooo cute and smart, romantic, loving, open-hearted. I'm taking a little vacation this weekend (first vacation in forever, going to this magical outdoor music festival and camping in nature, woo!), but he's hinted at meeting once I'm back, and I've been receptive. He's like an old world knight, very romantic and respectful. I was starting to think all those guys had died out. He sends me sweet little e-cards with flowers and twinkles sometimes, with philosophical quotes about true love I thanked him, and he said he feels he needs to thank me for giving him a reason and the inspiration to do such romantic things It turns out we grew up in the same small town! Lived in the same European country! He was in the army, infantry, dealt with intense physical extremes. He's a badass

 

 

 

Aww, your so nice. Your not neglecting me, I just like to read your post. So whenever I come across your post, I read it and click "Like", hehe

Don't be scare, I am 200% sure I'm a girl, and I'm not a lesbian, LOL!

I just love love to read your post, because your writing is so poetic and romantic.

 

So this is the Black man that you said he write you the long romantic letter? Whoa!!! I'm soooo happy for you!! Hey, I ADMIRE YOU!!!

Pffffffff! My husand is Black and he NEVER write me any romantic letters. My husband is very slow when it come to the romantic department, lol

 

So you going to met with this man when you back, does he live close to you? You should met him and give him a chance, he sound like a romantic man, your type.

Please give update okay, I'm praying you will met your soul-mate, and get married this year. You are a good heart woman, God bless you.

 

 

What ethnicity is the Scorpio one?

I want your update on Virgo one because he is Black (same ethnicity as my husband). So I'm more interested to know the outcome of your date with him.

Let me know the update after you met him for date okay. Wish you all the best.

Edited May 27, 2015 by thestairs

[Ruby Slippers]

Aww, you're sweet! Ok, neglecting is not the right word. Please excuse me. I'm tiiiired but can't fall asleep. I think I'm too excited about life. Things are going so well on every level

 

The Scorpio is Caucasian like me. We look kind of similar. Both tall. He's very athletic, and I am pretty athletic for a woman. He has this huuuuuge, bright, happy smile. And this loud, boisterous belly laugh. I laugh just hearing him laugh He's just very radiant and alive, like a big beam of light is shining out of him. We seem to have a much more similar background. The similarities just go on and on. He seems like a mirror for me. We just get each other. And we express ourselves in exactly the same way. We're both very passionate, intense, colorful, exuberant, very expressive. He's older than me, while the romantic Virgo is younger. He's also extremely smart, challenges me intellectually, maybe more than any man I've considered romantically ever before. It's like he's holding out his hand to help lift me up. So many big dreams I have for my life, he's already accomplished. For example, he has built his own professional, mobile recording studio, has played and performed his music for huge crowds. And he's so cool, has no ego about any of it. He loves inspiring and uplifting people with his skills, just like me. I want to get a basic recording setup in place this summer and start recording my music again, but one area where I'm not very smart is with electronics. I'm good with recording and mixing software, but not the electronics assembly aspect. I'm starting to learn it better, but I'm not a natural at that. He's already done it from scratch.

 

Awwww, and techie Virgo just texted me and told me he did extensive research on a new laptop for me, and call him when I want to go over it. I was playing in the water in the backyard the other day and accidentally splashed water on my 10-year-old laptop, think I fried the motherboard Ugh, so careless!!!!

 

How am I supposed to pick just one of these amazing men who are trying to woo me?!?!?! I told them I have a lot of interest right now because I don't want to lead anybody on. But I guess that brings out their competitive instincts, because then they just try harder!!! I did already tell all of them that I haven't even kissed a man in a year and a half, and I won't till I pick the right one. But I really have a strong feeling this Scorpio is gonna go for it tomorrow and try to lock me down. What should I do?!

 

None of these guys live close to me, because I live outside a big city in the country - and I love the relative quiet, the stars, lack of congestion. Two of them live in the city, 30- to 45-minute drive. The Scorpio lives in the country, too, about 45 minutes from me. All of them have expressed the desire to live with their lover (once they find her) in the not-distant future, which is also what I want.

 

This has nothing to do with the thread topic. I should go to sleep

[GorillaTheater]

I've never heard it being described that way before, so maybe not.

 

It's just that we grew up in a country where my race is oppressed by the "green" race. If you marry into that race, you must, by law, forfeit any and all ties and connections to your old culture... this includes things like legal name, inheritance and property. That is obviously unacceptable.

 

I guessed wrong. I took the "Orange" in your name to mean Ulster Protestant, as opposed to the "green" Irish Catholics, which is my stock. They can be quite the clannish group, Irish Catholics. Even though they were as lapsed as I am, Protestants were severely frowned upon. Not that it mattered to me one way or the other, and at least they didn't give me a hard time about dating those stunning Hispanic girls (being for the most part the "right" religion).

[jen1447]

You brought home girls when your parents were around?

 

Of course I did. Why wouldn't I? At first they were my "little friends" like usual, but my mom figured out what was going on pretty quickly.

 

@Stairs - you really seem into the 'black' part. No shame there, it's just so often I see white women wanting to date black guys and going so far to make the point that it's not about color by endlessly mentioning color that it becomes obvious it is about color. That's cool, I just wish women like that would just say "I like black guys."

 

It's unfortunate about your mom, but I'm glad his mom came around. Ironically I see the most racial animosity from black women against white women who date black guys.

 

@Ruby - you're obvs in the zone. You go girl! (Why not just date all 3 btw? )