Geraldine123 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 (edited) Hey guys So theres this guy I've been seeing. Known him for about a month now and trying to figure him out. He is 38 never married. Wondering if he could be socially awkward (being a near 40 unmarried guy). These are things I've picked up on: 1) came to my house and gave me snacks and fruit as a gift 2) when we hang out at a party, he will dance with a few girls but not talk to them afterwards. Preferring to hang around the side and watch. 3) after the party if I leave first he won't come with me to make sure I'm okay, he will stay. 4) he hasn't done any romantic gestures yet. I don't know if they are dates but we just go to casual restaurants 5) is shy to touch me- just hugs holding hands and touches on my hand 6) hasn't invited me to his house even though he has come to mine three times 7) mentions things like he has no one to go to the movies with but doesn't ask me. 8) he doesn't compliment me 9) he is very intelligent 10) does joke around sometimes 11) lives by himself, can't cook, dresses like a teen 12) went to Harvard 13) plays instruments and has a few hobbies which he dedicates himself to 14) texts me everyday about what he is up to and asks what I'm up to. 15) has a good job but not much human interaction (computers) 16) has an excellent memory and never forgets anything I tell him 17) interacts with me pretty normally but seems shy with others ( not many friends I can see) 18) I'm kind of aware that he watches me when I talk to other guys 19) he seems pretty nice Edited May 23, 2015 by Geraldine123 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Yeah, sounds like an introvert/computer geek. Maybe he's even the 40, er 38 year old virgin. It could be part of the reason he's single? I don't see anything really bad there - just quirks. The question is, does it turn you on? If he's not kissing you yet, there's not a lot of hope there. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
La.Primavera Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 19) he seems pretty nice How is that a bad thing? 4) he hasn't done any romantic gestures yet. I don't know if they are dates but we just go to casual restaurants If you don't know if it is a date, why would he? From his point of view you are probably only hanging out as friends. Honestly, the only problem here is lack of communication which can be easily rectified. If you don't stop judging him so harshly you might push away a really great guy. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Sorry, but I have to jump in.... this is so stupid. If you think the guy isn't making any moves and you WANT him too. Maybe YOU should do something too. If he's hesistant to touch you.. why don't you touch him? Brush his shoulders and just say you thought you say some lint or say something there. Or touch his hair and say you say something there and got rid of it. Make some moves woman.... you obviously can see he isn't doing much. Maybe he's waiting for YOU to show clear signs. Better yet, why the hell are 2 mature adults not communicating and discussing this issue? How hard is it to tell him you see him looking at you a lot. Do it in a joking way, I always tell a women that looks at me a lot.... that I am so winning the staring contest. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii51 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 ...But if he is autistic, and you do make a move- the wrong move, be careful. Link to post Share on other sites
Perrier Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 OP you are nitpicking. Your pal sounds geeky, introvert and intellectual. He probably needs a lot of external stimulation before he comes out of himself. You two sound like friends and not romantic prospects. How did you meet anyway? Link to post Share on other sites
LadyDeadpool Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 If you really do like him, you have to shake the social norms and be the initiator. There's nothing wrong with that, and that is the quickest way to answer your own question about whether or not he's in to you. Also you should probably attempt to have a conversation about his childhood etc before you just assume he is autistic simply because he has no game. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
guest569 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Yeah I don't see any signs of autism from your description, nor do I see the point of diagnosing him as such. Just seems like a regular guy that may be an introvert. Whether he is socially awkward is up to you to decide. If you don't like it, move on. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
chelsey Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 he's probably somewhere on the spectrum. you don't have to date him out of pity if you're not into him. you're going to have to make your feelings explicitly clear, i'm a bit like him myself and even when people say they like me or things about me i still think "Really??" though it's much easier for girls to b awkward/autistic because girls are expected to take a more passive role in relationships. you can probably count on him being pretty straightforward and letting you take the relationship at the pace you want. but if you want a go-getter then look elsewhere. he will probably open up if you express interest in the things he's interested in. if he's not too talkative yet then go ahead and lead conversations. but don't try to be subtle or play games i can assure you he will not get it. just appreciate what make him unique and he will love you for it (even if it take a bit for him to believe it) Link to post Share on other sites
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