cookiemonster26 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 I'm a 25 year old female with a good career, live on my own and have many hobbies and interests. A lot of my friends are getting married and settling down, and often pity me for still being single. Thus, I have put myself out there with EC activities and online dating in hopes of finding someone. I've went on plently of dates, and allmost never have interest in any of the guys. Most are losers, insecure, jerks, although the handful of "normal" ones I also had no interest in. Deep down all I want is to stop dating and focus on my own interests and career, but I feel so much pressure to date because everyone else is getting married and pity me for being single, as well as making their relationship the focus of everything.Any advice ?? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Satu Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 You have to do whatever makes you happy. Your friends mean well. I've never done OLD, but from what I've heard, it can be quite a grim experience. Follow your own compass. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 It's funny. Society seems to look down on single people that are happy being by themselves. It's like if you're not dating or married, there must be something wrong with you. In the end though, you should always do what's right for you. Maybe since you're just going through the motions, that's why you're not having any success. Try holding off on dating until you're actually ready. I had a few GF's when I was younger and then from 22-29 I didn't date at all. Like you, I wanted to focus on my goals and purpose in life. Then when I was ready to date, I did and now I do really well. So hopefully you ignore the pressure you're feeling from others and do what's right for you. Link to post Share on other sites
avintagegirl Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 I'm a 25 year old female with a good career, live on my own and have many hobbies and interests. A lot of my friends are getting married and settling down, and often pity me for still being single. Thus, I have put myself out there with EC activities and online dating in hopes of finding someone. I've went on plently of dates, and allmost never have interest in any of the guys. Most are losers, insecure, jerks, although the handful of "normal" ones I also had no interest in. Deep down all I want is to stop dating and focus on my own interests and career, but I feel so much pressure to date because everyone else is getting married and pity me for being single, as well as making their relationship the focus of everything.Any advice ?? No one lives your life but you. If you want to focus on your career, do it. Those other people who are saying what they do are not the ones standing in front of your bathroom mirror in the morning, you are. You need to be happy with the person you see before and where she is going and what she has. Let them have all the pity they want. They have to own that, you don't. You are happy, let them keep their own feelings. It's not your circus, and not your monkeys. Keep close to you what makes you happy and brings you joy. Best of luck to you!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Buddhist Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 If your hearts not in it why push yourself? Life will not get easier because you have a boyfriend or husband. It just magnifies what other frustrations you have going on. You're not attracted to anyone because you're not motivated to find a partner. Let it go, focus on what is important to you and one day, when you're ready someone will turn up for you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GA000 Jenny Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Those who get married that soon most end up divorced by the time they reach 35. They won't be so cool any more then. Just enjoy the freedom you have to do as you please. Link to post Share on other sites
Ruby Slippers Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Always follow your own inner guide. The world is full of a lot of BS. You have to create your own signal through oceans of noise. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 I'm in my late 20's and I can say I get the feeling. All my friends and co-workers are all married. In fact at a work party everyone in my team brought their partners. I was the only guy who showed up single. Now sure I could've invited a lady along with me as a date. But, I didn't want to especially if I know it would not be something long term. I think what you need to do is what I have started doing a lot of. And, that is keeping yourself busy with other things you want to do. Remember, if you were in a relationship or married. There are A LOT of things you might not be able to do any longer. So enjoy the single time you have now, because at some point it will all be over.... and you will find someone even when you least expect it. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cookiemonster26 Posted May 23, 2015 Author Share Posted May 23, 2015 Thanks! A lot of people around me make me feel like I need to hurry up and find someone because "time is running out". However having this mentality makes me attract the biggests jerks and losers. Thanks for the support, I'm going to do what makes me happy and focus on myself 2 Link to post Share on other sites
LadyDeadpool Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Don't live your life by other people's expectations. If you don't want a relationship right now don't have one. Your friends mean well, but they probably don't know that there is a huge difference between loneliness and simply being alone. They shouldn't pitty you just because you're still self-reliant at 25. When the right guy comes you will know it. Link to post Share on other sites
LostOne1 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Thanks! A lot of people around me make me feel like I need to hurry up and find someone because "time is running out". However having this mentality makes me attract the biggests jerks and losers. Thanks for the support, I'm going to do what makes me happy and focus on myself How is time running out? Hopefully you life up to 90+. And, if you want kids you probably have another good 10-15 years in you before you need to worry about that issue. Like I said enjoy your time now. Because some day when you least expect it, a guy will show up at your door. And you just might like him enough to feel like the wait was worth it in the end. And at the same time you got to life your life your way early on. Link to post Share on other sites
Clarence_Boddicker Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Why even consider dating if you don't want a relationship, which requires effort & time. Don't date until you really want to. You'll just end up hurting someone. Link to post Share on other sites
frogs88 Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Stupid societal pressure to confirm whatever everybody else is doing. I hate the herd mentality. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author cookiemonster26 Posted May 23, 2015 Author Share Posted May 23, 2015 I want a relationship but only if the right person comes along. I definitely don't want to be online and date around. Like I really don't want to date despite everyone's pressure that time is running out Link to post Share on other sites
cessna Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 Why are single being viewed as being weird? What's wrong with being on your own? You're not harming anyone else. I understand having pushy friends, I'm the only single one out of my social group and I get fed up of people trying to hook me up. At the same time it can be hard to relate to some of them and at times I can feel excluded from events or conversations. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 I'm a 25 year old female with a good career, live on my own and have many hobbies and interests. A lot of my friends are getting married and settling down, and often pity me for still being single. Thus, I have put myself out there with EC activities and online dating in hopes of finding someone. I've went on plently of dates, and allmost never have interest in any of the guys. Most are losers, insecure, jerks, although the handful of "normal" ones I also had no interest in. Deep down all I want is to stop dating and focus on my own interests and career, but I feel so much pressure to date because everyone else is getting married and pity me for being single, as well as making their relationship the focus of everything.Any advice ?? My advice would be to move to a large city, where remaining single is not frowned upon and make new friends who are also single. Sounds like you and your current friends have moved in different directions...which is okay. Change is good! Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
Vercetti Posted May 23, 2015 Share Posted May 23, 2015 I've known men and women that lost chunks of time, going for relationships for reasons outside themselfs. Go on, try and do things cause of peers or date on a calender. When you are not looking / trying. That always seems to be the time run into someone or someone runs into you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author cookiemonster26 Posted May 23, 2015 Author Share Posted May 23, 2015 My advice would be to move to a large city, where remaining single is not frowned upon and make new friends who are also single. Sounds like you and your current friends have moved in different directions...which is okay. Change is good! Good luck! What big cities do you recommend ? Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 Thanks! A lot of people around me make me feel like I need to hurry up and find someone because "time is running out". At 25 time is not running out for marriage. Having said that, we never know how much time we have on this earth. Take time to appreciate your life and move into a relationship when it does not feel forced. Trying to make something happen that isn't there is a recipe for a future divorce. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 24, 2015 Share Posted May 24, 2015 (edited) What big cities do you recommend ? Just do an Internet search for Best Cities to live in. Where I live, which is not only beautiful, but choosing to remain single at any age here, is perfectly acceptable and even recommended! I can't imagine a place where not being married by 25 is so frowned upon where you are made to feel abnormal or deficient. Boggles the mind. Edited May 24, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Gave out Personal information about location. Link to post Share on other sites
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