Online Dating Site headache

[towch]

Hey guys,

 

So i am talking to this girl online. i messaged her first then she message me back at around 9pm a couple of days ago. we talked alot and she told me that she is kinda weird that she like anime, drawing, video games, rugby and all that and a lot of people think its weird.

 

The thing is that i don't only not find it weird i actually love it. I am the kinda of that's is a geek but you can't tell. I look and dress like a hipster, work on cars but also love the geeky stuff (think jack of all trades).

 

She is a perfect it for me i believe. It also turns out that she is from the same country as me...PERFECT!!.

 

Now the thing is that on her profiles she doesn't say she is looking for a relationship. i asked her what she was looking for and her response was "I'm really just looking for friends and people to hang out with. You?"

 

But that was before we got to know each other later. She only messages me late at night. so when i felt we had talk enough 3 days and she hadn't replied my last message. I sent her one last message telling her that i enjoyed talking to her and would like to talk to her and get to know her better, then i dropped my number or told her she could send me hers.

 

 

I didn't hear from her for 2 days then yesterday night (always night). she send me a text saying "Hi Tochi". i replied i had a feeling it was her. I told her i thought she abandoned me and she replied that she didn't, that i hadn't done anything abandon worthy. She said she has just been busy with work and stuff. She proceeded to tell me that she likes my name. She also said something along the line that "she heard that guys from where i come from are finicky but she doesn't feed into stereotype".

 

Am i reading into this? because i don't know why she would say that if she's only looking for friends to hangout with. we talked some more.

 

I asked her what she was doing for memorial weekend, she said her parents are coming down for a wedding and are not leaving until monday evening (she replied late and i had passed out). I replied this morning telling her good morning and asking her about her parents, whether they were coming from out of country or if they live here. that was around 8am, no reply yet.

 

Do you think she is not interested? I can understand not replying on dating websites but this is text message.

 

How should i proceed? i was planning on asking her out on a date on our next conversation. I really like her but i just dont want to be wasting my time

[MonorailCat]

You are way too invested into someone you didn't even met yet.

Just suggest to go and get some drinks together and see what it leads to.

And don't overhype yourself that she is your "perfect fit". You can't know that after a few days of texting. You just set yourself up for failure.

[towch]

You are way too invested into someone you didn't even met yet.

Just suggest to go and get some drinks together and see what it leads to.

And don't overhype yourself that she is your "perfect fit". You can't know that after a few days of texting. You just set yourself up for failure.

 

Noted , making some sense

[Satu]

Turn down the intensity a bit.

[towch]

Understood @Satu. i wouldnt say invested too much, i mean when she didn't reply for 2 days i had closed the books. I am just saying i like her enough to go on a date with her and see where it goes.

[Michelle ma Belle]

You are way too invested into someone you didn't even met yet.

Just suggest to go and get some drinks together and see what it leads to.

And don't overhype yourself that she is your "perfect fit". You can't know that after a few days of texting. You just set yourself up for failure.

 

Oh my goodness.

 

If I had a dime for every guy I thought was a "perfect fit" for me based on our texting exchanges I'd have enough to buy myself a cast iron frying pan and hit myself over the head with it

 

The longer you do the OLD thing the more you'll realize that it's all just a game of odds and nothing is a guarantee.

 

Just relax and enjoy the moment for what it is. Don't over analyze everything. You're only going to set yourself up for disappointment otherwise.

 

Good luck.

[towch]

Oh my goodness.

 

If I had a dime for every guy I thought was a "perfect fit" for me based on our texting exchanges I'd have enough to buy myself a cast iron frying pan and hit myself over the head with it

 

The longer you do the OLD thing the more you'll realize that it's all just a game of odds and nothing is a guarantee.

 

Just relax and enjoy the moment for what it is. Don't over analyze everything. You're only going to set yourself up for disappointment otherwise.

 

Good luck.

 

haha thanks, i will just let her lead and just go by my day like usual. Think "possibility" rather than "opportunity". yes? sounds good?

[cessna]

I'd cut the chit chat and get straight to the point. Ask her out on a date. Set the time, the place and if she dodges the invitation or gives some excuse cut her off.

[towch]

well we just texted back and forth about 4 times and i just sent her a text asking her when she is free and whether she would like to go out with me to Dave & Busters. I didnt say date because i dont want to put her on the spot. At least its out there. If she doesn't comply, all do...move on. If she does but does want it as a date, all good atleast i get to do something and at least for fun. If she chooses to consider it a date All Good lol

[aloneinaz]

well we just texted back and forth about 4 times and i just sent her a text asking her when she is free and whether she would like to go out with me to Dave & Busters. I didnt say date because i dont want to put her on the spot. At least its out there. If she doesn't comply, all do...move on. If she does but does want it as a date, all good atleast i get to do something and at least for fun. If she chooses to consider it a date All Good lol

 

Let me help you here. Work on your confidence my man.. You're on a DATING site so if you ask someone out, of course it's a date. Another thing, when you start texting with a girl and she seems interested and fun, pick up the phone and see if you have any chemistry on the phone call. If you do, ASK HER OUT during this call.

 

Both women and men are on dating sites to meet someone. They are not interested in having a new texting or emailing buddy. I've had so many dates where the women bitch about guys going back and forth texting or emailing for days and never having the balls to ask them out.. Major turn off.

 

With this girl, she appears to be a bit flaky or flighty. I didn't have much patience for girls taking hours and hours to reply to a text or making me wait a day. I disqualified MANY girls who pulled that stupid crap. If someone is interested in you, they will reply in a timely manner. Even if they are at work. Of course, they may be flaky if they think you only want to be a texting buddy. Personally, if a girl was flaky or a poor communicator, she'd never hear from me again.

[Thegreatestthing]

Two days to reply isn't acceptable it shows very low interest,I also have a guy I met on a dating site who only replies late ,it shows low priority ,more important things to discover than you.

I would drop this one,well that's what I'm doing anyway even though they mesaged me just now.

[LostOne1]

You are way too invested into someone you didn't even met yet.

Just suggest to go and get some drinks together and see what it leads to.

And don't overhype yourself that she is your "perfect fit". You can't know that after a few days of texting. You just set yourself up for failure.

100% agree with this... a few weeks ago I did JUST this. I learned a few things about her and then idolized her....

 

On our 2nd date I got soo nervous.. I shut down. She must have thought WTF happened to this awesome guy I met on date #1. That was before I started to think she was perfect for me.

 

I learned a good lesson, sadly the hard way! But, now I go in with a no care attitude. Sure she sounds cool, but it's only a few dates. To know if she is perfect for you.... honestly could take years! In the end what needs to be looked at is if you 2 get along and want to see each other more.

 

Take a lesson from my mistake OP.

[LostOne1]

Oh my goodness.

 

If I had a dime for every guy I thought was a "perfect fit" for me based on our texting exchanges I'd have enough to buy myself a cast iron frying pan and hit myself over the head with it

 

The longer you do the OLD thing the more you'll realize that it's all just a game of odds and nothing is a guarantee.

 

Just relax and enjoy the moment for what it is. Don't over analyze everything. You're only going to set yourself up for disappointment otherwise.

 

Good luck.

I also agree with her!

 

I noticed this A LOT now. I think the problem is people text or come out more through tests. When you meet in person some people are more reserved.

 

So sometimes the same person doesn't quite come right out.

 

Or we over think their actions and texts and start building this imagine of them. Overthinking REALLY kills it, because you start to stress out.

 

I say always go in with a laid back approach. And, if he or she is interested it will flow.

 

The funny thing is, I know more couples that actually did NOT like each other on first glance. But, they started to grow on each other, and due in time started to really enjoy each other's company.

[towch]

This one was a flake, moved on.

[Gaeta]

This one was a flake, moved on.

 

No she was not.

 

* she told you she was looking for people to hang out and you didn't listen. You felt you could make this turn into a relationship. If you don't want to waste your time I suggest you stick with people stating clearly in their profile and in words that they are looking for relationships.

[computersandsuch]

You are way too invested into someone you didn't even met yet.

Just suggest to go and get some drinks together and see what it leads to.

And don't overhype yourself that she is your "perfect fit". You can't know that after a few days of texting. You just set yourself up for failure.

Take it from me: you're too invested. I make that mistake a lot. Doing it now actually.

[phineas]

No she was not.

 

* she told you she was looking for people to hang out and you didn't listen. You felt you could make this turn into a relationship. If you don't want to waste your time I suggest you stick with people stating clearly in their profile and in words that they are looking for relationships.

 

bull.

I've lost count of how many women say they just want to be "friends" but ended up sleeping with me on the first date and then after we have sex a few more times want to know "where it's going"

 

Nowhere of course.

She told me she didn't want a relationship. ROTFLMAO!

 

Nobody & I mean Nobody goes on a dating site just for friendship, unless they have issues or are retarded & expect men to actually take them at their word.

 

Sorry, what a woman says & what she does if I get her panties moist are two totally different things altogether.

 

op's problem is he invested too much time and waited too long to request face time with her.

Had he done it sooner he would of realized she was just using him for attention.

[jay1983]

bull.

I've lost count of how many women say they just want to be "friends" but ended up sleeping with me on the first date and then after we have sex a few more times want to know "where it's going"

 

Nowhere of course.

She told me she didn't want a relationship. ROTFLMAO!

 

Nobody & I mean Nobody goes on a dating site just for friendship, unless they have issues or are retarded & expect men to actually take them at their word.

 

Sorry, what a woman says & what she does if I get her panties moist are two totally different things altogether.

 

op's problem is he invested too much time and waited too long to request face time with her.

Had he done it sooner he would of realized she was just using him for attention.

 

I gotta agree with all this.

[towch]

bull.

I've lost count of how many women say they just want to be "friends" but ended up sleeping with me on the first date and then after we have sex a few more times want to know "where it's going"

 

Nowhere of course.

She told me she didn't want a relationship. ROTFLMAO!

 

Nobody & I mean Nobody goes on a dating site just for friendship, unless they have issues or are retarded & expect men to actually take them at their word.

 

Sorry, what a woman says & what she does if I get her panties moist are two totally different things altogether.

 

op's problem is he invested too much time and waited too long to request face time with her.

Had he done it sooner he would of realized she was just using him for attention.

 

Too right. i left her be after creating this thread, she never replied my text so yes she was a flake lol. I actually met some else. She message me first, we met the next day. She kissed me. We hung out the day after that as well, damn she is a good kisser lol. We made out a little bit. This was yesterday and day before yesterday. My life is weird where every girl i have messed with always initiated contact and they also turn out better looking than the ones i was going after.....WIN.

[Toodaloo]

If I had a dime for every guy I thought was a "perfect fit" for me based on our texting exchanges I'd have enough to buy myself a cast iron frying pan and hit myself over the head with it

 

Oooh what a good idea! I was saving my pennies for a holiday but a cast iron frying pan sounds fab...

 

Mind you I have only got £29.73 so far...

 

Towch - its a sad fact that some people just go on these sites because they are lonely and want attention. From what I have seen and heard its mostly women that do this. They string you along and make you think something is there but actually there is nothing. You are just a play thing for when they are bored and feeling fed up. They feed off of you.

 

They should get one of those battery operated pet things that you have to stroke and feed instead.