Scared to fall in love and get married and have kids.

[Krieger]

I am scared to getting into long term relationships and have to be picky about the woman I date. I know to many men that been through hell with woman.

 

My fear is meeting a good woman and we get married and have kids and get divorced. I do not want to be a part time dad and want to see my kids all the time.

 

There are way too stories of woman puting good men through hell because they can. Woman get everything the kids , the house, help from the government , talk crap about the child father , the courts will bend over backwards for woman. She can make up lies and there is noting a guy can do about it.

 

For me taking my kids away and not letting me see them and all that will hurt me so much. I would cry myself to sleep every night feeling like OI failed.

 

People will say pick a good woman but you never know what is in someones head.

 

That why I am going back to school and will never date a woman that makes 2 to 3 times more money than me so if things do not work out and we have kids I will not get F over by her and the courts.

 

Woman can F up a guys life even when he did noting wrong. I also fear seeing that I am going in to nursing she can lie and say I abuse my kids and I could dam well lose my job .

 

I am almost going to give up on dating and just adopt a kid or pay a female to have my kids . I rather be a single dad and just date woman. It too risky . I do not mind paying money for my kid but not seeing them and have to hear her lie to my kid about me I will not stand for.

Edited May 14, 2015 by a LoveShack.org Moderator
Redacted content from another site

[Hawaii51]

You can do everything right and still mess up, there isn't a sure-fire way to find the perfect woman. There is, however, a ****-load of advice and guidance on how to not get intertwined with a woman such as your mother. I say that because I'm certain your Father must've seen a great many things happen and pass by before the first bullet was fired.

 

Women? Go for the one with the heart, that's loyal and content in her own right. The one not looking for attention, but appreciates it when she get's it. Then give her all of yours.

[lollipopspot]

Oh for God's sake stop reading "Men's Rights" tripe. That isn't the way the court system works.

 

I would say don't get married and don't have children. You're bringing too much baggage to the table.

 

Good luck.

[Krieger]

You can do everything right and still mess up, there isn't a sure-fire way to find the perfect woman. There is, however, a ****-load of advice and guidance on how to not get intertwined with a woman such as your mother. I say that because I'm certain your Father must've seen a great many things happen and pass by before the first bullet was fired.

 

Women? Go for the one with the heart, that's loyal and content in her own right. The one not looking for attention, but appreciates it when she get's it. Then give her all of yours.

 

 

The story I posted was I story i read and it sad. My Mom and Dad are still together.

 

I should be OK because I do not date white woman or black woman no thanks. I only go for Asian woman and Spanish woman . They seem more family oriented and play less games.

[Krieger]

Oh for God's sake stop reading "Men's Rights" tripe. That isn't the way the court system works.

 

I would say don't get married and don't have children. You're bringing too much baggage to the table.

 

Good luck.

 

 

It is getting better but I know how woman act once the relationships ends. I have all most all female cousins and know what theye put there baby daddys through some of the guys are POS and some of them are good guys and meet them.

 

I do not have any baggage BTW.

[TaraMaiden2]

The story I posted was I story i read and it sad. My Mom and Dad are still together.

 

Well there's a clue for you.

It doesn't happen to everyone, and those who stay in happy relationships get no publicity.

 

Honestly, as a woman reading this you're making me a little irritated.

 

You read all the superficial reasons as to what women do, and why.

Your sympathy lies 100% with the guys, but you have absolutely no idea or insight into what makes a woman react the way she does.

You have no idea how she has been treated in the marriage/relationship, and for all you know, the guy is getting what he deserves.

 

I don't know.

I have no idea, I'm just guessing.

Pretty much like you making your mind up about marriage/kids/divorce without actually ever having been there.

[Krieger]

Well there's a clue for you.

It doesn't happen to everyone, and those who stay in happy relationships get no publicity.

 

Honestly, as a woman reading this you're making me a little irritated.

 

You read all the superficial reasons as to what women do, and why.

Your sympathy lies 100% with the guys, but you have absolutely no idea or insight into what makes a woman react the way she does.

You have no idea how she has been treated in the marriage/relationship, and for all you know, the guy is getting what he deserves.

 

I don't know.

I have no idea, I'm just guessing.

Pretty much like you making your mind up about marriage/kids/divorce without actually ever having been there.

 

 

Well I am sure there are guy out there that are deadbeats.

 

I am sorry but all most all my female famile mebers not my mom but every one else are female sociopaths, and manipulative.

 

I just know what to look for because of it LOL .

[TaraMaiden2]

Well I am sure there are guy out there that are deadbeats.

 

I am sorry but all most all my female famile mebers not my mom but every one else are female sociopaths, and manipulative.

 

I just know what to look for because of it LOL .

 

"He who deliberates fully before taking each step will spend his entire life on one leg".

 

If you constantly worry about what might happen - then that's what will happen.

 

I have been married three times, I have 2 children.

 

I have received precisely nothing from the father of my children, other than what the law decided was adequate, suitable and correct. He didn't end up penniless, destitute and without anything to his name.

I did.

I am not going to elaborate on reasons and circumstances here, because to do so would be frankly inappropriate. But the entire situation was legally-driven, and that's the decision that was arrived at.

 

So please don't give me hard-luck stories about poor schmucks landed with psycho women.

That's your opinion, and to be honest, it's been jaded by one-sided stories and biased tales of woe. Anybody at the sharp end of a legal judgement is going to cry "Unfair! unjust! I wuz robbed!"

 

The only way to find - and be in - a good marriage, is to make one for yourself.

And the way to do that is through Good Communication, Trust, honesty and Respect.

If you both abide by those Golden ingredients, then, rather like your own parents, you'll still be together to tell a different story.

[Krieger]

While I agree that a man risks much these days by getting married and having children, it's not as if you are at the mercy of the woman you choose to be with. There are steps you can take as a man to protect yourself from the falling out, if your ex wife chooses to try and harm you.

 

If you ever do get a divorce, or start to see the signs of one coming, contact a very good female attorney. Men are not powerless.

 

Yea but I have a lot to lose . I could lose my job fast if a woman makes up lies lets say she make things up like I abuse my kids .

 

If I work at a children hospital as a nurse how long would I have my job? Not every long .I would lose my license and my job over a lie . Than turn around and tell the court I cant keep a job.

 

I do believe there are good woman out there but finding one not easy.

 

People can say what they want about me but I going to be picky of the woman I date.

[loveweary11]

You know, I'm feeling the same way today.

 

I got a little jealous of some multi dating stuff going on where this girl waiting for me in NY is with another dude doing things while I'm finishing up my project here. She is under no obligation to be faithful to me, but has done nothing but say how she is dying for me to get back, how she can't wait to f&ck me, how she is looking forward to this or that... yet she's hanging out with some other guy the whole time.

 

I let my heart open a crack to get excited to see her on more than a sex level and bam! Yet another mistake.

 

Then, there have been some threads here into the minds of women scheming out divorces. Truly frightening stuff to read. Guy is perfect, does everything right, but woman just decides one day, after 22 years of marriage, there is no "chemistry" and plans to dump the guy. Feels it's better to be alone than have no chemistry. Of course, it's because she met another guy she has "chemistry" with. So a guy does everything right for 22 years and gets thrown away without a second thought. There are, in fact, 2 or 3 of these active right now... and several, "20 years, gone" threads posted by the dumped husbands.

 

I'll just come right out and say it. Based on everything I've learned, experienced and read over a lifetime, men value commitment and their more than women do. Period.

 

Yes, it's definitely a generality and there are plenty of exceptions, but time and time again, it's seen that women are the gender that trashes the relationship or marriage.

 

So I'm wondering.,, why bother?

 

I don't want kids. I like travel and adventure. Might as well just pick up super hot young girls who have the travel bug and have countless flings until I'm old and die alone (most people die alone anyway)

 

It seems really, really grim. I can also practice being as financially sound and live as minimalist as I want this way. Would love to share life with someone, but who can you actually trust these days?

 

Remove the want and the suffering ends. As true now as it ever has been.

 

If I don't want a long term relationship, I won't have to feel the suffering of want/losing one.

[madjac74]

Yea but I have a lot to lose . I could lose my job fast if a woman makes up lies lets say she make things up like I abuse my kids .

 

 

Why do you think this would happen?

[lollipopspot]

Yea but I have a lot to lose . I could lose my job fast if a woman makes up lies lets say she make things up like I abuse my kids .

 

If I work at a children hospital as a nurse how long would I have my job? Not every long .I would lose my license and my job over a lie . Than turn around and tell the court I cant keep a job.

 

Anyone can make up a lie about anyone. There's such a thing as burden of proof.

 

What you're saying is like me saying I'm never going to be alone with a man because he might rape me.

 

Your paranoia is baggage.

[madjac74]

Anyone can make up a lie about anyone. There's such a thing as burden of proof.

 

What you're saying is like me saying I'm never going to be alone with a man because he might rape me.

 

Your paranoia is baggage.

 

Unless there is some sort of history of it

[TaraMaiden2]

...People can say what they want about me but I going to be picky of the woman I date.

 

well, currently as far as I can see, you're dateless because you're too scared to dip your toe in the water.

 

And yes, I agree, THIS is your baggage.

you are burdening yourself with so much fear about what MIGHT happen, that you are actively preventing yourself from the potential enjoyment of a good relationship.

 

You're not being 'picky'.

This isn't being picky.

This is being ridiculous....your fears are your worst enemies and they're lying to you....

[lollipopspot]

She is under no obligation to be faithful to me

 

From what you've written elsewhere, you're not faithful to her either.

 

I'll just come right out and say it. Based on everything I've learned, experienced and read over a lifetime, men value commitment and their more than women do. Period.

 

Jesus, some of you guys, I can only roll my eyes. I hope never to accidentally get attached to a man who has such a skewed and gender biased perspective on life. I'm glad that I take people as they are and who they show themselves to be, not by generalizations about a condition of birth.

[ManyDissapoint]

You know, I'm feeling the same way today.

 

I got a little jealous of some multi dating stuff going on where this girl waiting for me in NY is with another dude doing things while I'm finishing up my project here. She is under no obligation to be faithful to me, but has done nothing but say how she is dying for me to get back, how she can't wait to f&ck me, how she is looking forward to this or that... yet she's hanging out with some other guy the whole time.

 

I let my heart open a crack to get excited to see her on more than a sex level and bam! Yet another mistake.

 

Then, there have been some threads here into the minds of women scheming out divorces. Truly frightening stuff to read. Guy is perfect, does everything right, but woman just decides one day, after 22 years of marriage, there is no "chemistry" and plans to dump the guy. Feels it's better to be alone than have no chemistry. Of course, it's because she met another guy she has "chemistry" with. So a guy does everything right for 22 years and gets thrown away without a second thought. There are, in fact, 2 or 3 of these active right now... and several, "20 years, gone" threads posted by the dumped husbands.

 

I'll just come right out and say it. Based on everything I've learned, experienced and read over a lifetime, men value commitment and their more than women do. Period.

 

Yes, it's definitely a generality and there are plenty of exceptions, but time and time again, it's seen that women are the gender that trashes the relationship or marriage.

 

So I'm wondering.,, why bother?

 

I don't want kids. I like travel and adventure. Might as well just pick up super hot young girls who have the travel bug and have countless flings until I'm old and die alone (most people die alone anyway)

 

It seems really, really grim. I can also practice being as financially sound and live as minimalist as I want this way. Would love to share life with someone, but who can you actually trust these days?

 

Remove the want and the suffering ends. As true now as it ever has been.

 

If I don't want a long term relationship, I won't have to feel the suffering of want/losing one.

 

Well said, I feel very much the same way.

[Krieger]

"He who deliberates fully before taking each step will spend his entire life on one leg".

 

If you constantly worry about what might happen - then that's what will happen.

 

I have been married three times, I have 2 children.

 

I have received precisely nothing from the father of my children, other than what the law decided was adequate, suitable and correct. He didn't end up penniless, destitute and without anything to his name.

I did.

I am not going to elaborate on reasons and circumstances here, because to do so would be frankly inappropriate. But the entire situation was legally-driven, and that's the decision that was arrived at.

 

So please don't give me hard-luck stories about poor schmucks landed with psycho women.

That's your opinion, and to be honest, it's been jaded by one-sided stories and biased tales of woe. Anybody at the sharp end of a legal judgement is going to cry "Unfair! unjust! I wuz robbed!"

 

The only way to find - and be in - a good marriage, is to make one for yourself.

And the way to do that is through Good Communication, Trust, honesty and Respect.

If you both abide by those Golden ingredients, then, rather like your own parents, you'll still be together to tell a different story.

 

Like I said my parents ts are still together but it a loveless marriage for the most part.

 

Finding a woman that believes in being equal in a marrige is hard to find now days. I am far from perfect but I am not a loser so I am not interested in woman that are losers.

 

Finding a woman that wants to build a family together and build a future together . One that wants to work as a team and be my befriends because she will be.

 

It scary to get married I want kids and to be in there life and not interested in being a every other weekend Dad.

[loveweary11]

From what you've written elsewhere, you're not faithful to her either.

 

I was under no obligation either but she changed the tone recently as one of something more serious.

 

 

Jesus, some of you guys, I can only roll my eyes. I hope never to accidentally get attached to a man who has such a skewed and gender biased perspective on life. I'm glad that I take people as they are and who they show themselves to be, not by generalizations about a condition of birth.

 

And I'm glad I go through life quickly identifying trends and behaviors in the human population, acknowledging them, and adjusting my behavior to best sustain myself in reaction to them. Hasn't failed me yet.

[Krieger]

Why do you think this would happen?

 

Some times woman will say things when there hurt and try to get you back by making up lies.

[lollipopspot]

It scary to get married I want kids and to be in there life and not interested in being a every other weekend Dad.

 

I think you would pass on too much bitterness and fear to any child.

 

Some times woman will say things when there hurt and try to get you back by making up lies.

 

Yeah, only women lie

[Krieger]

You know, I'm feeling the same way today.

 

I got a little jealous of some multi dating stuff going on where this girl waiting for me in NY is with another dude doing things while I'm finishing up my project here. She is under no obligation to be faithful to me, but has done nothing but say how she is dying for me to get back, how she can't wait to f&ck me, how she is looking forward to this or that... yet she's hanging out with some other guy the whole time.

 

I let my heart open a crack to get excited to see her on more than a sex level and bam! Yet another mistake.

 

Then, there have been some threads here into the minds of women scheming out divorces. Truly frightening stuff to read. Guy is perfect, does everything right, but woman just decides one day, after 22 years of marriage, there is no "chemistry" and plans to dump the guy. Feels it's better to be alone than have no chemistry. Of course, it's because she met another guy she has "chemistry" with. So a guy does everything right for 22 years and gets thrown away without a second thought. There are, in fact, 2 or 3 of these active right now... and several, "20 years, gone" threads posted by the dumped husbands.

 

I'll just come right out and say it. Based on everything I've learned, experienced and read over a lifetime, men value commitment and their more than women do. Period.

Yes, it's definitely a generality and there are plenty of exceptions, but time and time again, it's seen that women are the gender that trashes the relationship or marriage.

 

So I'm wondering.,, why bother?

 

I don't want kids. I like travel and adventure. Might as well just pick up super hot young girls who have the travel bug and have countless flings until I'm old and die alone (most people die alone anyway)

 

It seems really, really grim. I can also practice being as financially sound and live as minimalist as I want this way. Would love to share life with someone, but who can you actually trust these days?

 

Remove the want and the suffering ends. As true now as it ever has been.

 

If I don't want a long term relationship, I won't have to feel the suffering of want/losing one.

 

Most woman my age need to be entrained 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I do not have time for that.

[madjac74]

Most woman my age need to be entrained 24 hours a day 7 days a week. I do not have time for that.

 

What is your age? And do you mean entertained or trained?

[LookAtThisPOst]

Oh for God's sake stop reading "Men's Rights" tripe. That isn't the way the court system works.

 

 

Well, there are certain states that are more "Mommy friendly" than others meaning that it's easy to find a reason to take the kids away from the father altogether.

[Krieger]

I think you would pass on too much bitterness and fear to any child.

 

 

 

Yeah, only women lie

 

Well I would not make thing up about people it not how I am wired. I am an introvert I would not talk to a female that does not want me. It better to let her run her mouth and prove that she a lies above everything.

 

This is not about what men do it about what woman do . Yea men do lie but I am not talking about men .

[Krieger]

What is your age? And do you mean entertained or trained?

 

 

I meant entertained cant believe i make that typo LOL.

 

I am 31 years old so I have to avoid woman that dated bad boys for 15 years and now want a good guy because there time running out to have a family. I am not going to date a woman that have dated loser after loser for 15 years and now wants a good man.