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Finally divorced...could the timing be right?


Peachland

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Peachland

I started dating a separated man 6 months ago. He had been separated for 18 months and dated several women since his separation so I thought I would be ok seeing him. Anyway we dated for a month and things progressed quickly to the point where he stated he wished he’d married me instead of his wife. He discussed going on trips with me in the future, etc. As you can imagine the relationship was going way too fast and it blew up. After professing all these feelings for me I started to question him because he wasn’t in the process of getting divorced they were just separated. He freaked out, felt vulnerable and I went no contact on him. In hindsight it was a big mistake to go out with him because I know I personally couldn't think about dating until I was officially divorced.

 

For 3 months after the break up, he continued to reach out every few weeks to check in. I would respond with one/two words and never kept the conversation going. I actually thought he felt guilty about the way the relationship ended and that was the only reason he kept in touch. After 3 months of minimal contact, I agreed to go out with him again. I was curious to see how he felt about me. He told me that we could go out but he wanted to date others as well. Frankly I was annoyed but he was still officially married and I was dating others too. I stopped seeing him after a few weeks because I wanted to focus on one of the guys I was dating.

 

Two weeks ago he starts contacting me again and now I'm not seeing anyone so I was receptive to his communication. I'm impressed because he really seems to genuinely care about what is going on in my life, my family, career. He has brought up the fact that he hasn't met anyone as attractive and compatible as me. I can't lie it made feel awesome. He's an attractive doctor with lots of options and I know he's used to women chasing him. He also told me that he's now officially divorced and ready to move on with his life. We're going out this weekend. I don't think he's looking for sex from me because I already told him it was off the table unless we're in a committed relationship. I actually said this to him a couple of months ago to see if it would scare him off. Anyway I've been standoffish with him for 5 months but he keeps coming around. Should I try and date him? I don't want to get hurt if I can help it but I really like him and we're very compatible. I guess I'm still concerned that I'm vulnerable to being the rebound. Not sure how to proceed with this guy.

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You should proceed cautiously and very slowly. That's just the nature of being divorced and of dating someone so recently divorced as well. I am trying to put the time table together - how can he already be "officially divorced" when 3 months prior he had not even started the proceedings? Doesn't seem to add up but I realize that every state has their own laws. In any event, proceed with caution.

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