heyitsmike Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I reconnected with this beautiful girl on tinder that I went to college with and had previously met one other time. She was a bartender at a popular bar in our college town, and I always had a girlfriend in college, but there was one night in particular we got to know each other while she was working. She currently lives in long island and I am just over an hour away in distance from her currently. When we reconnected she told me she had always tried to give me her number but I was always with a girl. Things continued from there and looked promising until out of nowhere there she stopped responding. One week later I texted her and we started chatting and flirting again, only this time I suggested meeting up and she seemed eager to. After unsuccessfully trying to pick a day to meet up, I told her we would figure it out when she returned from a trip she was taking. When she returned from the trip we still coordinate a day so I relied on my go to tactic of "why don't you find a day coming up that works for you and let me know when you're free to get together?" she responded promptly with "Sounds good to me!! <3" My take away from that last encounter was good. I put the ball in her court and she responded positively to it. However, that last encounter was on April 16th, which would make it about 3 weeks from the time of this posting. And the other thing that annoys me a tad is she still posts "moments pictures" on tinder about 1-2x per week, and has still yet to respond to me now i'm not naive i know dating is a numbers game and that could very well be the case in this situation, but i would be lying if i didn't say i was into this girl in college and reconnecting with her now seems almost like an act of fate. but the main question is what do i do about this girl? follow my gut and leave the ball in her court by waiting on her to remember to text me? or text her? Link to post Share on other sites
GTR King Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Id say text/message her one more time. won't do any harm Say something like I am free Saturday. How about we go (place) for a drink? Dose that sound like a plan? if she accepts or says she is busy but tells you a day/time she is free to meet you then she is interested. if she says she is busy but don't suggest a day/time or just says ok will let you know. then she is not that interested in you if that happens you move on. Link to post Share on other sites
empresario Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 When she returned from the trip we still coordinate a day so I relied on my go to tactic of "why don't you find a day coming up that works for you and let me know when you're free to get together?" Annnnd right here is where he lost the game, Johnny. There is a cliché saying that goes "winners want the ball". Just because it's cliché doesn't make it less true. The second you gave your power to her you lost your ability to make it work. It was a cop out. If you still want it to happen, text her. Be confident and assertive. Tell her a time and day you'd like to go out. If she's busy suggest another one. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 You never asked her OUT on a planned date! Plan a date! Then ask her... Tickets to a concert or sporting event are always interesting. You were way too evasive. Call! Call her! No text! Listen to her voice/tone - and actually ask to see her for a specific reason on a specific day. Link to post Share on other sites
Author heyitsmike Posted May 7, 2015 Author Share Posted May 7, 2015 the first time i reconnected with her after i didnt hear from her i suggested meeting up at this awesome speakeasy bar in NYC and she sounded really into it but we couldnt find a common day for it to work. so i suggested grabbing coffee at this nice coffee place halfway between us. she got back to me 3 days later and said "oh ****. i never saw your text. im driving down to jersey that day." it was at this point i sent her the "you let me know a day that works for you line" as i mentioned earlier. my intent being to see if she would respond which in my eyes would re-confirm interest. sorry i didnt clarify the fact i've asked her out before, my bad Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Any man asking me for coffee or a bar doesn't score any points in my world. NO ONE is so busy they can't respond to a request. No one. She's not interested enough. Next time call a gal. And PLAN a special date out. No coffee, no bar - make plans for a real date and ask for a specific time and day. Link to post Share on other sites
ClickToRead Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Stop texting women when it is related to something important. Pick up the phone and call them. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 She wasn't interested, you ended up being her chat friend. Women do this because they like the attention without being obligated to date you.....as soon as you put it out there to date her, she flakes on you. As soon as the excuses come, it's over. Link to post Share on other sites
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