SingleDude Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 (edited) Its a funny thing. You meet someone off a site, things go well. They seem interested at first but you go back on the site and see they are always online. The texting and conversations become shorter and then you realize there is no interest. That's totally fine with me. I have no ill will or am I upset about it. It's just that a little honesty goes a long way. I would rather hear someone has lost interest than for things to simply fade. Perhaps I am losing interest as well but don't notice it? Hmmm, still think there is a little something there. We will see. I feel like this place has become my diary. Sorry about that. Carry on. Edited May 6, 2015 by SingleDude 4 Link to post Share on other sites
empresario Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Its a funny thing. You meet someone of a site, things go well. They seem interested at first but you go back on the site and see they are always online. The texting and conversations become shorter and then you realize there is no interest. That's totally fine with me. I have no ill will or am I upset about it. It's just that a little honesty goes a long way. I would rather hear someone has lost interest than for things to simply fade. That's a reality that all men struggle with after a bad date. The good news? As women age they do it less and less. They learn ignoring someone only forces the other person to get desperate. They have to learn that. On the other side, you have to gain wisdom that your worth isn't defined by the actions of one female. Be confident. The less you put importance on female attraction to you, the more they will like you. You will be calmer, more peaceful, and a better personality on a date. Females are great reality analyzers. They know if you're self-conscious. They know if you are needy. They smell it like a deer searching for predators. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Tip: you should always have more than one option, and never invest yourself until they sleep with you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Females are great reality analyzers. They know if you're self-conscious. They know if you are needy. They smell it like a deer searching for predators. I agree with this 100% 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SingleDude Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 I think I'm over thinking. Link to post Share on other sites
Cinnimon Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I'm honest with the guys I meet, if I'm not feeling it, I say something along the lines of " I'm glad we got the chance to meet/talk but I dont/didn't really feel a connection". And I get told I'm a B for doing so! But I think it's better to do that than leave them with hope or waiting and wondering to see what's going to happen or not happen next. I've been " faded out " before and it sucked so I choose not to do to someone else what I did'nt like done to me. If that makes me a B then so B it lol 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Dallers Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Tip: you should always have more than one option, and never invest yourself until they sleep with you. This is a very good point. The majority of the time you are just a past time while she tries to rekindle with an ex or progresses with another guy and to stop herself becoming too needy/clingy she focuses her free time on you OP. You have to go through a lot of bad to find a good one which is fully focused on you. It is one thing to say women smell needy/clingy on a guy and another thing for them to lose one of the greatest men ever to have walked to earth to go back to a douche. It is man's ability to walk away, stronger, and never look back which is of most importance. Do not dwell, do not analyse and just move straight on. Maybe give her a day or two but then straight on. Never cling to hope. Never look at what you could have done better. Next. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Last week I met 2 someones. I did not feel any interest in pursuing with them so when they texted me the following day I told them I had a great time meeting them, they were nice and I had a good time but I did not feel we had enough in common to pursue any further. They BOTH got mad at me and told me I'm no different than any other women on POF blahblahblah. Yep! That's what I got for being transparent right away and not misleading anyone. I will continue being transparent with men right away but some women just got tired of men's reaction when they say no thank you so they opt for a fade away act. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
RoseVille Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Last week I met 2 someones. I did not feel any interest in pursuing with them so when they texted me the following day I told them I had a great time meeting them, they were nice and I had a good time but I did not feel we had enough in common to pursue any further. They BOTH got mad at me and told me I'm no different than any other women on POF blahblahblah. Yep! That's what I got for being transparent right away and not misleading anyone. I will continue being transparent with men right away but some women just got tired of men's reaction when they say no thank you so they opt for a fade away act. This has been my experience regardless of how I meet a guy. If I'm not interested or lose interest, I'm damned if I do and damned if I don't tell them. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
lana-banana Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I used to tell men directly when I wasn't interested until a guy told me he hoped I got anal warts for being such a slut and threatened to kill me for wasting his time. I think most women have experienced something like this before and it's genuinely scary. My current MO (well, what I did before I met my current boyfriend) is to say I'm busy that day, not reschedule, and immediately block their contact information. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author SingleDude Posted May 6, 2015 Author Share Posted May 6, 2015 I used to tell men directly when I wasn't interested until a guy told me he hoped I got anal warts for being such a slut and threatened to kill me for wasting his time. Wow. Last week I met 2 someones. I did not feel any interest in pursuing with them so when they texted me the following day I told them I had a great time meeting them, they were nice and I had a good time but I did not feel we had enough in common to pursue any further. They BOTH got mad at me and told me I'm no different than any other women on POF blahblahblah. Yep! That's what I got for being transparent right away and not misleading anyone. I will continue being transparent with men right away but some women just got tired of men's reaction when they say no thank you so they opt for a fade away act. Gee, I didn't realize my side was that harsh. Now I'm starting to understand why some are so reluctant to just tell it like it is. Having said that, what the hell are you doing on POF!?? That's the bottom of the bucket! Link to post Share on other sites
FortunateSon Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I can't imagine being angry with a woman for being up front and letting me know they are not interested. It would save both of us a lot of time and energy. I have had a few women respond viciously after letting them know I was not interested, it just further emphasized that they were definitely not what I was looking for. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
JuneJulySeptember Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 (edited) Women losing interest after a date or a few dates never bothers me because then I know at least it's probably not about looks. And chances are, I feel lukewarm about her too. Unless I feel they went out with me just to go, but that is a different thing. If from OLD, nobody will do that. So many more women close the door even before that point. How could I get mad at someone who at least gave me a chance? Edited May 6, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 They BOTH got mad at me and told me I'm no different than any other women on POF blahblahblah. Yep! That's what I got for being transparent right away and not misleading anyone. This is exactly why they do not do it and avoiding it is the smart (and safe) thing to do. Link to post Share on other sites
cessna Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I've had this a lot recently and it really pisses me off. Things seem to be going well and then radio silence... In a couple of cases I've got back in contact to see what's up, a few messages get exchanged and then they disappear again. I lose respect for any women that does this to me. It only takes a minute and a little bit of courage and decency to be upfront and honest with someone. It saves everyone a lot of hassle as everyone knows where they stand. If a girl isn't interested and tells me? That's fine, not everyone will like me and actually they gain more of my respect for being honest about it. One last thing, you'll hear people on here and people in general say things like "nobody owes you anything, especially someone you've just met..." Well, nobody owes anybody anything in this world so that argument is nonsense. I still hold doors open for complete strangers, I still say please and thank you to people I don't know. Not because I owe them anything but because I believe in common courtesy. It's as simple as that. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I'm honest with the guys I meet, if I'm not feeling it, I say something along the lines of " I'm glad we got the chance to meet/talk but I dont/didn't really feel a connection". And I get told I'm a B for doing so! But I think it's better to do that than leave them with hope or waiting and wondering to see what's going to happen or not happen next. I've been " faded out " before and it sucked so I choose not to do to someone else what I did'nt like done to me. If that makes me a B then so B it lol Ignore the haters. I LOVE when a women is respectful/honest enough to let me know where I stand. Gentle rejection beats being ignored. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
neowulf Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Last week I met 2 someones. I did not feel any interest in pursuing with them so when they texted me the following day I told them I had a great time meeting them, they were nice and I had a good time but I did not feel we had enough in common to pursue any further. They BOTH got mad at me and told me I'm no different than any other women on POF blahblahblah. Yep! That's what I got for being transparent right away and not misleading anyone. I will continue being transparent with men right away but some women just got tired of men's reaction when they say no thank you so they opt for a fade away act. Noooo... god damn haters! Please don't give up being transparent and honest with men. I swear, sometimes I feel like half my own gender is out to DESTROY any chance the rest of us might have with the opposite sex! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
saladfingers Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 I understand both sides. But it is extremely frustrating to a guy to try and decipher little mind games and code words and body language when the girl should just be up front and honest in the first place. Then the same girl runs and cries that so and so won't leave her alone - well - he's tryin toget a straight answer and you won't give him one. It's junior high immaturity and you "women" need to grow up. When girls tell me up front right away in *no hidden jargon* that them and I are not compatible, I want to do them right then and there not because I'm a creep but because that is so desirable and sexy that a woman would be that truthful. I respond with, "I really appreciate the honesty and I can respect our differences. Good luck." Wish other men weren't such hostile jackasses. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
redblazerx78 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Its a funny thing. You meet someone off a site, things go well. They seem interested at first but you go back on the site and see they are always online. The texting and conversations become shorter and then you realize there is no interest. That's totally fine with me. I have no ill will or am I upset about it. It's just that a little honesty goes a long way. I would rather hear someone has lost interest than for things to simply fade. Perhaps I am losing interest as well but don't notice it? Hmmm, still think there is a little something there. We will see. I feel like this place has become my diary. Sorry about that. Carry on. I agree!! I have had a few date where I have never heard back from them. Its frustrating!! Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Is this the girl who you texted with for 15 hrs straight that's losing interest? Link to post Share on other sites
ascendotum Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 (edited) Last week I met 2 someones. I did not feel any interest in pursuing with them so when they texted me the following day I told them I had a great time meeting them, they were nice and I had a good time but I did not feel we had enough in common to pursue any further. They BOTH got mad at me and told me I'm no different than any other women on POF blahblahblah. Yep! That's what I got for being transparent right away and not misleading anyone. I will continue being transparent with men right away but some women just got tired of men's reaction when they say no thank you so they opt for a fade away act. Wow 2 just last week. I always wonder how many guys actually get stroppy on the 'sorry but not feeling it' response back or if its more a case of it happening just once with many woman (its not the majority of guys) and that's it, she will wuss out on communicating post date with all guys (except the one she wants to still see) in the future. I admire you for still being upfront with the guys. Myself and talking with friends, we kind of expect not to hear back often or get the I'm busy but I'll call you and then no response, and its easy to read between the lines what it means. Women should not complain likewise if guys do the same as part & parcel of modern dating. Getting the cliche 'just didnt feel the chemistry' line back numerous times will frustrate some guys, especially if they thought the date went really well or for those who go a bit overboard on spending to impress. I think what that woman here does in blocking guys post date is a bit severe and the equivalent of giving the middle finger back to the guy that took her out. Edited May 7, 2015 by ascendotum 1 Link to post Share on other sites
saladfingers Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Yes, it's like the equivalent of a man saying "sorry, your ass is to big, thought we'd click but we didn't. Sorry." Tell me what female wouldn't get enrages. Well that's how it feels to a guy. Get that over and over again, you'll start to get real self conscious about your posterior and insecure. That's why there's so many insecure guys walking around - endless rejection. Chicks don't know. They just don't. Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 That's why there's so many insecure guys walking around - endless rejection. Chicks don't know. They just don't. If you are looking for women to give you security or help you fight insecurity, then you are in for a world of disappointment in life. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
hunk Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Currently having this happen to me for the first time, massive, MASSIVE head-****. Great chemistry and banter, got along SUPER well, sexual tension, make out on 2nd date, was playing it as cool as i could and bang radio silence. Not even a message saying she's not interested etc. I can understand if there's literally nothing there between two people, but when you go on a few really good dates and you both get along great it boggles my mind you would just disappear and not even give that person even the slightest explanation. Ladies, if you get along with a guy but you're not feeling it, and he seems like the type of person who would deserve some sort of an explanation please give it to him, being ignored is a horrible feeling. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
ClickToRead Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Its a funny thing. You meet someone off a site, things go well. They seem interested at first but you go back on the site and see they are always online. The texting and conversations become shorter and then you realize there is no interest. I had a profile on POF about 1.5 years ago that lasted about 3 days. I called the above POF Fever where you always look there, check your messages, send out mass intro messages, and think the next best thing is coming along and you never leave. Just when you thought you had to dodge STD's you've got an online addiction to avoid too. I received upwards of 500 emails in 3 days. It was too much drama for me. Link to post Share on other sites
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