runaway Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 27 year old male here. Several years ago, I used to get so frustrated because I would often have long dry spells. "How come I can't get these chicks to have sex with me? Am I not attractive enough?" I'm not sure how I've changed over the years, but now I seem to "get laid" more easily. Now, the new problem is that I cannot seem to get these hot women to come back to me for more. Most of my encounters this year have been one night stands, mostly sex on the first date. Once the girl stops responding to my advances, I start thinking, "****, am I bad at sex? Or do they think I'm good enough for a one night stand but not quite attractive enough for a more long term thing?" When a girl rejects me before we have sex, I can forget about her easily. However, once I have sex, I want more sex from the girl, and rejection stings at that point. I want to be the guy girls are crazy about and want to date. I am trying to figure out what I need to differently. Is sex on the first date a no-no if I want to communicate to the girl that I want something that lasts longer? Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 To be blunt you probably are bad in bed... Read some books. The ultimate guide to cunnilingus will help. The first time with anyone is useless anyway and in order to develop some "technique" you need consistent practice with someone who can show you. Second do you talk to these girls about anything else? Do you ask them on a date and how do you treat them when you are on these dates? or do you just go straight for the home run? If you are a bit boring they will treat you a bit like Zac in Big Bang... Pretty to look at and shag but no substance! Do you have substance? Find a woman that excites you mind as well as your balls... take it easy and see where it goes. The sex will be far better and you will also enjoy the time spent with her with your clothes on. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 27 year old male here. Several years ago, I used to get so frustrated because I would often have long dry spells. "How come I can't get these chicks to have sex with me? Am I not attractive enough?" I'm not sure how I've changed over the years, but now I seem to "get laid" more easily. Now, the new problem is that I cannot seem to get these hot women to come back to me for more. Most of my encounters this year have been one night stands, mostly sex on the first date. Once the girl stops responding to my advances, I start thinking, "****, am I bad at sex? Or do they think I'm good enough for a one night stand but not quite attractive enough for a more long term thing?" When a girl rejects me before we have sex, I can forget about her easily. However, once I have sex, I want more sex from the girl, and rejection stings at that point. I want to be the guy girls are crazy about and want to date. I am trying to figure out what I need to differently. Is sex on the first date a no-no if I want to communicate to the girl that I want something that lasts longer? If you want a long term committed relationship, you need to have a casual conversation with a woman to determine if she wants the same thing for herself in general, at least, before you have sex. But even then, you can't be sure. They need to match their words with actions, as in, remaining in consistent contact and consistently accepting dates going forward. In any dating scenario, you need to manage your emotions and expectations. If you become intimate with a woman and that "bonds' you to them, step back a little. Reach out to them again, ask for another date and keep light contact in between. Don't go crazy with texting or calling them. And make sure it is balanced. I recommend not pushing for sex on a first date and not until you've had that conversation. If you're at a point where you are/want to be intimate, you should be able to have that conversation. If you're "brave" enough to have sex, you can have an adult conversation like that. Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 Are you looking to have sex with lots of "chicks" or do you want a long term relationship? Perhaps you need to be more discerning in your choices. Just because someone is willing to hop into bed with you at the first glance doesn't mean they want anything more than just that night no matter how good or bad you are. You both know what you're getting into and unless you're doing something different, you'll continue getting the same results. How about courting someone you fancy for a change? Try talking with a girl and getting to know her and her you. One night stands aren't exactly known to elevate conversation so maybe think about keeping your penis in your pants and try getting to know someone before jumping into bed with them. Good luck. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
empresario Posted May 6, 2015 Share Posted May 6, 2015 A pop-culture quote... Don't put the P on a pedestal. You are rejected after sex because that's clearly all you want. People sense that. Most people understand this as a stereotype...but I'm going to assume you don't for a second. I seem to get in trouble when I make assumptions... For a lot of women...emotional needs outrank physical needs. I'm assuming you're very pushy for sex...and afterwards you contact them to try to get more. That probably is just as hurtful to them as it is when they reject you. They are only meat to you. Are you bad in bed? Probably. That's not your fault, though. The best sex comes from learning the woman and communicating. Every. Girl. Is. Different. I'm sure your general tactic right now is to treat every type of 'screw' like it's a nail. Just keep hammering until the job is done. I could be wrong. I just feel like you could benefit from focusing on your partner's needs from the beginning. I think you'd learn a lot. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
TunaInTheBrine Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 (edited) 27 year old male here. Several years ago, I used to get so frustrated because I would often have long dry spells. "How come I can't get these chicks to have sex with me? Am I not attractive enough?" I'm not sure how I've changed over the years, but now I seem to "get laid" more easily. Now, the new problem is that I cannot seem to get these hot women to come back to me for more. Most of my encounters this year have been one night stands, mostly sex on the first date. Once the girl stops responding to my advances, I start thinking, "****, am I bad at sex? Or do they think I'm good enough for a one night stand but not quite attractive enough for a more long term thing?" When a girl rejects me before we have sex, I can forget about her easily. However, once I have sex, I want more sex from the girl, and rejection stings at that point. I want to be the guy girls are crazy about and want to date. I am trying to figure out what I need to differently. Is sex on the first date a no-no if I want to communicate to the girl that I want something that lasts longer? For sexual technique (as well as building more psychological attraction), I highly suggest buying and reading the Sex God Method. Who knows what the issue really is though? I have been in similar situations before and I am definitely not bad in bed, but yes, every woman is different. Some women just want to get laid and will peace out after that. One woman, who I was friendly with for a couple of years, had sex with me once. When I tried to hook up with her again, she actually said "we already had sex once, so why do it again?" She was just trying to rack up a score and feel powerful. Other women do not see you as their 'type' for an LTR but would be willing to get off with you because they're horny. I honestly feel this is a BIG reason why many men (not just you) report an easier time today getting laid than some years ago. Being a man and getting laid in most parts of the U.S. is super easy if you have a couple of things going for you. I'm 5'7", and so for many women I am not a long-term prospect because of my height (who wants short kids?). But I really don't have a problem getting laid and have bedded more women than most men I've talked to about sex. I'm not saying this is ideal, but it does build a lot confidence and make 'breakups' a little easier knowing that you can pick up another one whenever you really want to. But yeah, being a 'player' is kind of lonely, and I don't recommend the lifestyle if you want a relationship. Lastly, I want to say I feel you on the whole wanting to have sex with them again and turning it into more. Men generally require more output effort in the dating game to get a woman, no matter how good their game, when compared to a woman's opportunities for how many men want to sleep with her. In other words, I think we generally do more grunt work and so may be more likely to want to advance things quicker than most women do. IME, men almost always want a dating situation to turn into an LTR before the woman does, but that's just my experience. Edited May 7, 2015 by TunaInTheBrine Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I don't believe "some women just want one night and no matter you are good or bad they won't come back". No. If you are good 99% of them WILL come back. One of them is crazy so she doesn't. So OP if you had 99% not coming back, you are bad in bed. Do you ever make a girl cum? Squirt? Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I don't believe "some women just want one night and no matter you are good or bad they won't come back". No. If you are good 99% of them WILL come back. One of them is crazy so she doesn't. So OP if you had 99% not coming back, you are bad in bed. Do you ever make a girl cum? Squirt? In all fairness most women dont do either in my experience. Heck some can't even orgasm. I agree though it's likely bad sex. Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii51 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 You wanted hot chicks, you never got them, they came to you. You didn't please them cause you were probably too excited you finally got one, and didn't please them thoroughly enough in bed. Slow down, maybe just focus on a good session of going down on her first.. If you're not good, ask a friend? Can female friends do that for guy? They should be able to do that for guys. Link to post Share on other sites
Hawaii51 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 Oh yeah.. up until I was like 22 I had some ridiculous version of what sex was/is or could be. I dated an older woman who taught me to be myself and do what I like. Made a man out of me. So yeah, you probably need to be more confident in your actions and movements and actually mix the mechanics of a woman, your best effort for emotional security, and some passion- maybe a little aggression. Take some stress out, you're not going to break her. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 In all fairness most women dont do either in my experience. Heck some can't even orgasm. I agree though it's likely bad sex. No, in all fairness most women do. It's not easy to have them cum/squirt on the first night, depends on the guy and the girl but some guys and girls can do that. And guys who are good can make girls squirt if they have sex a few more times. Maybe not all the girls, but definitely some. Yes, there are many men out there who can make girls wet the bed. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 From my experience there are good lovers and there are bad lovers.....a lot of bad lovers.....even players can suck real bad in bed. Not all women care about their emotional needs. In fact they will throw that right out the window if they have access to toe curling sex, hands down. If you are that good they DO come back. You want a relationship, keep it in your pants and treat her special.....court her, get to know her. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
ClickToRead Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 No. If you are good 99% of them WILL come back. One of them is crazy so she doesn't. the lone crazy lol Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 No, in all fairness most women do. It's not easy to have them cum/squirt on the first night, depends on the guy and the girl but some guys and girls can do that. And guys who are good can make girls squirt if they have sex a few more times. Maybe not all the girls, but definitely some. Yes, there are many men out there who can make girls wet the bed. I should rephrase. Most CAN do this, but it's hard to achieve and mostly doesn't happen unless you are regular partners. Sounds like the OP has a lot of one and dones, so I wouldn't use this to gauge his performance. They are indicators of good sex but definitely not a requirement. Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 I should rephrase. Most CAN do this, but it's hard to achieve and mostly doesn't happen unless you are regular partners. Sounds like the OP has a lot of one and dones, so I wouldn't use this to gauge his performance. They are indicators of good sex but definitely not a requirement. It's not THAT hard to achieve. Doesn't have to be "regular" partners. I think on the second or third time girls can cum if the guy is good. Of course there are other ways to achieve orgasm, OP would know if the girl hit the O. Use your fingers and tongue OP. Practice makes perfect haha Link to post Share on other sites
MrNate 2.0 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 (edited) Just take the express way. Get her some chocolate next time. Edited May 7, 2015 by MrNate 2.0 Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 It could be one of two things : 1) Some women might dismiss you as serious material for having sex so soon. But this way of thinking is BS in my opinion. Sex is a two way act and they never seem to be complaining in the moment do they? Yet, somehow they will always hold sex against a guy's intentions after the fact. Example. One time my ex and I were cuddling watching a movie. One thing lead to another and she was literally begging to go to the bedroom. Yet when we broke up, she used that as an example of how I only wanted sex. 2) You could be terrible in bed. However, this is still subjective. What one girl hates, another could love. But this is why I like to take my time and not rush into sex. If you keep the tension high and seduce a woman over the long term, you learn about what makes her tick. Then the first time is always guaranteed to be good. Since a lot of guys rush into sex and don't get to know that stuff, it makes me stand out. Plus, it helps when you've got stamina and are really good at oral. Link to post Share on other sites
minime13 Posted May 7, 2015 Share Posted May 7, 2015 27 year old male here. Several years ago, I used to get so frustrated because I would often have long dry spells. "How come I can't get these chicks to have sex with me? Am I not attractive enough?" I'm not sure how I've changed over the years, but now I seem to "get laid" more easily. Now, the new problem is that I cannot seem to get these hot women to come back to me for more. Most of my encounters this year have been one night stands, mostly sex on the first date. Once the girl stops responding to my advances, I start thinking, "****, am I bad at sex? Or do they think I'm good enough for a one night stand but not quite attractive enough for a more long term thing?" When a girl rejects me before we have sex, I can forget about her easily. However, once I have sex, I want more sex from the girl, and rejection stings at that point. I want to be the guy girls are crazy about and want to date. I am trying to figure out what I need to differently. Is sex on the first date a no-no if I want to communicate to the girl that I want something that lasts longer? It sounds like you don't exude any substance to these ladies. A woman will sleep with a man on the first date/meeting for 2 reasons: intense connection or wants to get laid. The first time you have sex with a person, it's never just blow-your-mind amazing (well, very rarely is). You have to get used to each other's body, likes, and dislikes. If a girl doesn't feel a connection with you, finds you dull, etc., then all you're getting is that one night of sex. Try putting more substance and interest (in her, and not just physical features) into your dates, and get to know the woman before sleeping with her. Otherwise, you're going to have a long line of these one night stands. Link to post Share on other sites
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