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infatuated! how to play it?


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There's a girl I met at my weekly running club, she seemed into me so I got her number, we text a bit and always hang out after the run. She's so gorgeous! I seriously love hanging around her. She's funny, she's sweet, I'm definitely getting an unhealthy level of attraction to her!

 

Problem is, whenever I ask her out, she's busy. I want to ask her what she's thinking but I don't want to REVEAL the fact that I'm desperate to date her! We were hanging out today and I asked her to go out on Monday as it's bank holiday but of course she's busy. Having gotten to know her I do know that she's genuinely a very busy person, I just want to work out whether she would date me if she wasn't busy, or whether she'd say she's busy even if she's not.

 

I've misread situations before so would like to avoid getting too caught up in something if there's nothing there. Is there a simple, casual way of finding out whether or not she wants to date? It's always me texting first but she always comes over to me before and after running, and she stands against me and gets close, and I tickle her and hug her and stuff. It all feels good but I just can't seem to get a proper date with her.

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JuneJulySeptember
There's a girl I met at my weekly running club, she seemed into me so I got her number, we text a bit and always hang out after the run. She's so gorgeous! I seriously love hanging around her. She's funny, she's sweet, I'm definitely getting an unhealthy level of attraction to her!

 

Problem is, whenever I ask her out, she's busy. I want to ask her what she's thinking but I don't want to REVEAL the fact that I'm desperate to date her! We were hanging out today and I asked her to go out on Monday as it's bank holiday but of course she's busy. Having gotten to know her I do know that she's genuinely a very busy person, I just want to work out whether she would date me if she wasn't busy, or whether she'd say she's busy even if she's not.

 

I've misread situations before so would like to avoid getting too caught up in something if there's nothing there. Is there a simple, casual way of finding out whether or not she wants to date? It's always me texting first but she always comes over to me before and after running, and she stands against me and gets close, and I tickle her and hug her and stuff. It all feels good but I just can't seem to get a proper date with her.

 

IMO, just ask her outright if you really like her.

 

"So, when are you gonna go out on a proper date with me?"

 

If she rejects you because you were too forward, then the gal is obviously wound too tight for guy like you and I. :p

 

And if she rejects you because she doesn't like you, then you're at where you are now.

 

To me, she sounds like the type of girl who is going to toy with you and make you work for it, and for me ... f@ck that sh@t. There's a lot of women who don't.

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If she's not at least offering some kind of alternative as to a time when you guys could meet up/she's free I would probably let this go, her interest levels just don't seem aligned with yours at all. The simple casual way of finding out whether she wants to date is her saying yes to a date, and if she's genuinely busy she will without hesitation suggest another time you could do something. If neither of these are happening she's not interested.

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I'm currently in the infatuation and limerence stage with a new guy.

 

While it's important to keep things under wraps and not go declaring any type of feelings until you're ready to date seriously and head towards a relationship, she SHOULD be hinting at hanging out....

 

If a guy acts into me and I also feel the chemistry, I'll suggest that we should hang out some time IF he doesn't suggest it first.....

 

Some guys needed me to make the first move as they felt very attracted to me and felt apprehensive thans anxious that I would shut them down.

 

Most men went ahead and asked to hang out. I prefer it that way, as a lot of men will just say yes to hanging out and even dating a girl even though he's nkt that into her. IF the girl asks first...

 

You should just ask her in a date, she says no, move on.

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If she rejects you because you were too forward, then the gal is obviously wound too tight for guy like you and I. :p

...

To me, she sounds like the type of girl who is going to toy with you and make you work for it, and for me ... f@ck that sh@t. There's a lot of women who don't.

 

Now that you say it, I can definitely see her as the type to toy with someone for a bit. I don't mind playing along for a bit, I've only known her a couple of months so it's not like she could break my heart. Toying and playing hard to get is nothing new, though I'd like to know if her end goal is to get with me or to mess me around.

 

I'll call her in the week, ask her casually to go out at the weekend, if she says no I'll ask, in my least pushy tone, if she's ever going to say yes. I like this girl, she's hot as hell, but I won't get hung up on her if she's not interested. Thanks a lot for your response

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If a guy acts into me and I also feel the chemistry, I'll suggest that we should hang out some time IF he doesn't suggest it first.....

 

Some guys needed me to make the first move as they felt very attracted to me and felt apprehensive thans anxious that I would shut them down.

 

Most men went ahead and asked to hang out. I prefer it that way, as a lot of men will just say yes to hanging out and even dating a girl even though he's nkt that into her. IF the girl asks first

 

She was the one to initiate any sort of interaction between us. I asked her out the following week, then the week after that she asked me out (just to hang out after our run, which is all we've done). I am certain she likes me because of how she's been so far, I just want things to progress beyond hanging out for an hour or two.

 

Like I said to the dude just now, I'll ask her out again in the week, and if she says she's busy I'll push her without pushing her, if you know what I mean.

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If she's not at least offering some kind of alternative as to a time when you guys could meet up/she's free I would probably let this go, her interest levels just don't seem aligned with yours at all. The simple casual way of finding out whether she wants to date is her saying yes to a date, and if she's genuinely busy she will without hesitation suggest another time you could do something. If neither of these are happening she's not interested.

 

Bingo response from hunk. If the girl shoots down your offer without counter-offering it means she isn't interested.

 

If this girl is that attractive she probably already has a boyfriend, in which case it's possible that she's quite attracted to you, which is why she wouldn't even tell you she has a boyfriend while always saying she's busy when you ask her out.

 

But the way you're obsessing over her without even really knowing her, saying you're desperate to date her, saying you're unhealthily attracted to her... screams that she's not feeling it and you're oblivious to the signals my friend. The guys who get girls like that don't feel that way toward them.

 

Long story short you are in the friend zone and are basically an orbiter.

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When dating, if I was busy, and liked the person who was asking me out, I always offered an alternative.

 

"Sorry, I have plans on Saturday, but how about we get together for a drink on Sunday?"

 

If she's not offering an alternative, she's not interested.

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I'll call her in the week, ask her casually to go out at the weekend, if she says no I'll ask, in my least pushy tone, if she's ever going to say yes. I like this girl, she's hot as hell, but I won't get hung up on her if she's not interested. Thanks a lot for your response

 

No, you will not do any of that nonsense. You will go to the running class and not chat it up with her next time. You will wave or wink then leave after running. And the class after that you will chat with another pretty girl. You will flirt with the main girl very briefly then go about your business. You will make the girl come to you to talk and not vice versa. You will always leave first after the conversation begins. After doing this for a few weeks, you may have a chance in hell of her saying yes when you directly say to her you're getting a bite to eat after the run and she should come with you.

 

And all of that *may* give you a shot, but most likely will not, as you've already dug yourself into an enormous hole by coming on too fast. Your first 2-3 impressions matter a zillion times more than anything you can possibly do once she friend zones you.

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Bingo response from hunk. If the girl shoots down your offer without counter-offering it means she isn't interested.

 

If this girl is that attractive she probably already has a boyfriend, in which case it's possible that she's quite attracted to you, which is why she wouldn't even tell you she has a boyfriend while always saying she's busy when you ask her out.

 

She doesn't have a boyfriend, I asked her that very early on. I've never pried further after she says she's not free to go out so if she does say that again I'll ask why, and from that I'll know whether it's worth persisting or not.

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No, you will not do any of that nonsense. You will go to the running class and not chat it up with her next time. You will wave or wink then leave after running. And the class after that you will chat with another pretty girl. You will flirt with the main girl very briefly then go about your business. You will make the girl come to you to talk and not vice versa. You will always leave first after the conversation begins. After doing this for a few weeks, you may have a chance in hell of her saying yes when you directly say to her you're getting a bite to eat after the run and she should come with you.

 

Erm... no. I don't do games like that, that's middle school stuff. If I ask a girl out like an adult, and get a straight-up no, then I can handle that you know.

 

She always comes up and talks to me anyway. Even one week when I was volunteering she came and asked me if I want to hang out, waited with me until my job was done and then we went into town. She shows she likes me, I'm just trying to force her hand and make her either go out properly with me or leave me alone basically.

 

Any girl who would be won over by the method you suggested would not be the sort of girl I'd want to date.

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Guitarisgood

You say she likes you but that is your perception on the situation. She could by all means just enjoy hanging out with you hence the lack of dating. A girl into you will move her schedule to fit you in or atleast suggest a time she is free.

 

Here, it sounds like she does not dig you as much as you do. You being infatuated by her and how 'gorgeous' she is is messing with your head. Heck, any little thing she does can result in you thinking it is a 'sign' she likes you back. Trust me, I've been there.

 

Sounds like you've asked her out quite a few times now but to put the nail in the coffin, ask her out one more time and it has to be in person so she has to reply as such. If no counter off or if she ends up bailing, there's your answer and time you move onto greener pastures.

 

If she says yes and goes out, great! Pat on the back for you. And to those saying you should tell her you like her and the likes - big no no. Ever thought of the difference in how you feel when you get a present at christmas and it is a surprise vs. when your parents tell you what they've gotten you? It's not playing games, it's part of the early stages of dating when you work each other out. Don't burn the candle before it finishes the wax.

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@guitarisgood yeah I'm with you there, I'm pretty sure I'm into her more than she's into me, but she does seem interested at least. I won't hang around once I get a clear answer from her, so once I ask her out again properly either on the phone or at next week's running, I'll know whether I'm wasting my time or not. I think she'll want to go out with me, she laughs at any jokes, she likes me touching her and tickling her and stuff, the only reason I'm questioning whether she's into me or not is cos we haven't been on a proper date yet. Thanks for your response, appreciate it

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When dating, if I was busy, and liked the person who was asking me out, I always offered an alternative.

 

"Sorry, I have plans on Saturday, but how about we get together for a drink on Sunday?"

 

If she's not offering an alternative, she's not interested.

 

I'd normally agree completely and not bother trying, it's just how she acts when we are with each other that makes me sure she does like me too. She may just be like this with everyone, or always just pick her favourite guy out of whoever is present at any one time. Would you say to call her in the week or wait to see her next weekend? Ideally I'd call her and make plans for Saturday, rather than just seeing her and asking her out for that day. Thanks

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Most people are busy. What's really happening is, she's too busy to see you. She's high maintenance. If she's difficult now, can you imagine what she'd be like to live with when you have been married ten years? Like Jim Carrey would say, "Spooky"! It's not going to be any fun, and this bombshell will start to look ugly to you after she walks all over your heart for a time.

 

Low maintenance women who like you don't turn down dates. Heck, the really nice ones sometimes call the man for a date! It's shocking, I know!

 

Oh, and another thing.... just because a woman is beautiful and breathing does not mean she's a catch. Some of you guys have to get a backbone and not let these bad girls walk all over you. She's not the only pretty lady in town, and you only need one.

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@ Gary S - spooky indeed! I wouldn't ever get too far with someone who tried to walk on me. My mate did that and is getting married to her this year. She's awful to him.

 

I'm just in this for whatever is there, if she wants a boyfriend to walk on it wont be me, if she wants a relationship and she's nice then I'll go for it, if she just wants to bang then... well, who am I to turn down such a fine offer? She goes out of her way to get in my personal space, there's a chance she just wants some hibbidy dibbidy I guess...

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Erm... no. I don't do games like that, that's middle school stuff. If I ask a girl out like an adult, and get a straight-up no, then I can handle that you know.

 

She always comes up and talks to me anyway. Even one week when I was volunteering she came and asked me if I want to hang out, waited with me until my job was done and then we went into town. She shows she likes me, I'm just trying to force her hand and make her either go out properly with me or leave me alone basically.

 

Any girl who would be won over by the method you suggested would not be the sort of girl I'd want to date.

 

Haha ok good luck buddy you got it all figured out... :rolleyes:

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