UntitledNotepad Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 -we were friends -she initiated contact -practically begged for a date -she started lots of conversations over text BEFORE the date -i thought date went well, lots of conversation, she seemed flirty, etc. -she agreed to a second date, said "i'd love to!" -i didnt kiss her, just didnt feel right after only a 1.5 hour date... -she replied to my messages "it was nice seeing you yeterday" "yeah i liked it to" etc, but didnt start any like she did before -i sent her a movie suggestion, she never read the text for a day, so i asked whats up and she said she had a tough last few days -this entire week i havent said anything to her, and she hasnt said anything to me Ok...i know she was legitemately busy from when we were just friends. she looked exhausted in school and even brought work to the lunch table, so I know she was stressed because of that. my question - she agreed to a date after school ends. could she really just be busy with school and thats why she has been acting funny? i was planning on sending a message "good luck on your last day of school!!!" or something, then ask which movie she wants to see. problem is, i don't want to wait another week of not talking to her...ok what the **** should I do here....... thanks everyone! Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Sorry OP but anyone who is truly interested will ALWAYS make time for you. It's just that simple. She may be busy but that isn't enough of an excuse for suddenly dropping off like she has after your date. She might have had certain expectations whilst texting prior to your date and then either didn't feel chemistry with you or is distracted by someone else. Either way, save your dignity and move on. The ball is in HER court. Good luck. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Just wish her good luck with her exams and tell her to give you a ring if she fancies a break. On her last day let her know that you are thinking of her and suggest going out to "celebrate"... Other than than stop panicking and don't fret. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 Sorry OP but anyone who is truly interested will ALWAYS make time for you. It's just that simple. She may be busy but that isn't enough of an excuse for suddenly dropping off like she has after your date. She might have had certain expectations whilst texting prior to your date and then either didn't feel chemistry with you or is distracted by someone else. Either way, save your dignity and move on. The ball is in HER court. Good luck. thanks for your reply. i was the one who suggested we do a second date after finals because i was busy....(i didnt realize how bad of an idea that was) and she did say yes to the date (three times in fact, two in person). its not like i set a date and she said "sorry im too busy" Does that change anything? Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 thanks for your reply. i was the one who suggested we do a second date after finals because i was busy....(i didnt realize how bad of an idea that was) and she did say yes to the date (three times in fact, two in person). its not like i set a date and she said "sorry im too busy" Does that change anything? Well, your first mistake was not committing to an actual date with her even if it had to wait until after finals. She may be the one feeling like you're being a bit wishy-washy but then again, you have stayed in contact with her so... If you're not ready to close the book on this just yet, SET THE DATE sooner rather than later if you can help it. This way you'll know if she's still interested or not and can go from there. Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 You can't do anything right now but take her at face value. She says she's busy, maybe she's just busy and stressed. Start by giving her the benefit of the doubt. What do you have to lose by waiting a few days to see if her time opens up? Just because she's not reaching out to you doesn't mean you can't reach out to her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 i was planning to wait 4 days, then wish her luck on finals, then ask her which movie, then set the date...does that sound good? or should i just message her now and set the date? Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 Send her a funny pic or something random to cheer her up.....sometimes being unpredictable can increase the attraction. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) -we were friends -she initiated contact -practically begged for a date -she started lots of conversations over text BEFORE the date -i thought date went well, lots of conversation, she seemed flirty, etc. -she agreed to a second date, said "i'd love to!" -i didnt kiss her, just didnt feel right after only a 1.5 hour date... -she replied to my messages "it was nice seeing you yeterday" "yeah i liked it to" etc, but didnt start any like she did before -i sent her a movie suggestion, she never read the text for a day, so i asked whats up and she said she had a tough last few days -this entire week i havent said anything to her, and she hasnt said anything to me Ok...i know she was legitemately busy from when we were just friends. she looked exhausted in school and even brought work to the lunch table, so I know she was stressed because of that. my question - she agreed to a date after school ends. could she really just be busy with school and thats why she has been acting funny? i was planning on sending a message "good luck on your last day of school!!!" or something, then ask which movie she wants to see. problem is, i don't want to wait another week of not talking to her...ok what the **** should I do here....... thanks everyone! The way I am interpreting this is ......you were friends but she was into you, attracted to you. She starts initiating, hinting at (practically begging) to go out with you. Date goes well, but you don't kiss her (Strike ONE) You ask for second date, she enthusiastically responds "I would love too!" You text her again with a movie suggestion, she's busy so had not even "read* the text, you become anxious and confront her "what's up with that?? (Strike TWO). She responds it's been a rough few days, and instead of showing even a little concern (even a friend would do that) ... you proceed to ignore her! (Strike THREE).. And you are wondering what's up with HER? Dude, you better step up to the plate here SOON, otherwise you're heading straight back to the friendzone. Pick up the phone and CALL HER! Edited May 1, 2015 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 katiegirl, thanks for your response. i just have a few questions Strike 1: are you really supposed to kiss on the first date? i come from a old-fashioned traditional-type family and it just doesn't feel right........if we do end up doing a second date, should I definititely try to kiss her? Strike 2/3: i actually asked if she was alright, turns out she was sick, and i didnt ignore her right away, i said i hope she feels better and that school is almost done, to which she replied with smiley faces and seemed happy, but then i sent a picture but she never even read that message (and hence the ignoring began) "step up to the plate" could you pleeeease explain this a little to me? i don't know what to say without appearing desperate/creepy/awkward! can i send her a funny meme about finals? my sister said it would be awkward. my best friend says calling is outdated. Help! lol thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted May 1, 2015 Author Share Posted May 1, 2015 Send her a funny pic or something random to cheer her up.....sometimes being unpredictable can increase the attraction. could you give an example of something you'd send if you were in my position? Link to post Share on other sites
Michelle ma Belle Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 i was planning to wait 4 days, then wish her luck on finals, then ask her which movie, then set the date...does that sound good? or should i just message her now and set the date? SET THE DATE!!!! Stop over analyzing it. You want to see her again so set the damn date already and keep in touch until then. It couldn't be any simpler. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 1, 2015 Share Posted May 1, 2015 (edited) katiegirl, thanks for your response. i just have a few questions Strike 1: are you really supposed to kiss on the first date? i come from a old-fashioned traditional-type family and it just doesn't feel right........if we do end up doing a second date, should I definititely try to kiss her? Strike 2/3: i actually asked if she was alright, turns out she was sick, and i didnt ignore her right away, i said i hope she feels better and that school is almost done, to which she replied with smiley faces and seemed happy, but then i sent a picture but she never even read that message (and hence the ignoring began) "step up to the plate" could you pleeeease explain this a little to me? i don't know what to say without appearing desperate/creepy/awkward! can i send her a funny meme about finals? my sister said it would be awkward. my best friend says calling is outdated. Help! lol thanks! Okay more info, fabulous! Strike One- yes if you are attracted to her and you are clicking, going in for the kiss is a good thing! It's how you differentiate a friend from a girl you are romantically interested in. Strike Two - I am glad you reached out after she told you she had a rough couple of days. . So I take that strike back. Strike Three - in my world, calling is not outdated! It is necessary as often times people get busy and don't even notice if they have a text, let alone read it. Just like what happened here! Step up to the plate = call her and ask her out! Edited May 1, 2015 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted May 3, 2015 Author Share Posted May 3, 2015 So I gave a specific time and date, and she said she will have left for home by that time. I know she was going away, I just didnt know the exact date she was leaving. Well, she did put a sad smile face after telling that day wouldnt work, so it seemed like she was a bit sad. well then i asked her when she leaves, so I could set a different date, but she hasnt replied yet! the text doesnt day "Seen at 12:00" or anything, but she just hasnt opened the message yet. is this a subtle way of telling me to back off? i mean she did agree to a second date like 3 times...so...wtf -,- fyi it has been about 28 hours since i sent the "when are you leaving" text Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted May 3, 2015 Author Share Posted May 3, 2015 Help!! Why could she be ignoring my message? Me: are you available on the 9th for a movie? Her: I think I'll have left by then Me: Oh so when do you leave? no reply.... is this a rejection? i mean she seemed sad that the date i mentioned wouldnt work, but now shes ignoring my message...could she just be busy or something? wtf? Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 Help!! Why could she be ignoring my message? Me: are you available on the 9th for a movie? Her: I think I'll have left by then Me: Oh so when do you leave? no reply.... is this a rejection? i mean she seemed sad that the date i mentioned wouldnt work, but now shes ignoring my message...could she just be busy or something? wtf? No she's not just *busy*. Move on, she's just not interested. Sorry... Link to post Share on other sites
guild11 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 Have you thought that maybe she just wanted to get laid? Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted May 3, 2015 Author Share Posted May 3, 2015 katiegrl, ok but how sure are you? i mean three times she said yes to a movie, and during the date she said she'd love to, and nothing really happened in between.... Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 (edited) katiegrl, ok but how sure are you? i mean three times she said yes to a movie, and during the date she said she'd love to, and nothing really happened in between.... Well first off, I am NOT "sure," this is only my "opinion" based on everything you've posted. But my take is ....if she were interested, she (a) would be making at least some time to see you no matter how "busy" she is, (b) would have suggested an alternative day/time to see you, and © would have replied to your text message instead of ignoring you! Interested people ACT interested. All you get from her are "words" conveying possible interest, but at the end of the day, if she is not following through on what she says, her words are meaningless. But nevertheless, good for you for stepping up and asking her out! Now you know...she's just not that into it, and you can move on. Edited May 3, 2015 by katiegrl Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 katiegrl, ok but how sure are you? i mean three times she said yes to a movie, and during the date she said she'd love to, and nothing really happened in between.... Action speaks louder than words. Sometimes I would say "yeah lets meet up" with no actual intention, I believe people do that all the time. I don't think you even need to ask her. She already lost interest the first time she told you she's "busy". No one is too busy to see someone they like period. Now second time she blew you off, crystal clear she's not interested. She's read your message of course she just doesn't want to reply. She might reply to you a day later or something when shes bored. or just not at all Link to post Share on other sites
sagetalk Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 H Me: are you available on the 9th for a movie? Her: I think I'll have left by then Me: Oh so when do you leave? no reply.... You are wasting your time. I like using the Chris Hemsworth test to see if a girl is interested or not. I ask myself, "Would she do this to Chris Hemsworth?". If the answer is no, then it is time to move on. Let me show you how it works: Chris Hemsworth: are you available on the 9th for a movie? Her: I think I'll have left by then Chris Hemsworth: Oh so when do you leave? no reply.... Would she do that to Chris Hemsworth? The answer is no. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted May 3, 2015 Share Posted May 3, 2015 You are wasting your time. I like using the Chris Hemsworth test to see if a girl is interested or not. I ask myself, "Would she do this to Chris Hemsworth?". If the answer is no, then it is time to move on. Let me show you how it works: Chris Hemsworth: are you available on the 9th for a movie? Her: I think I'll have left by then Chris Hemsworth: Oh so when do you leave? no reply.... Would she do that to Chris Hemsworth? The answer is no. Bad comparison...as the truth is ..... you haven't an effing clue what she'd say, unless you're psychic. Sure, Chris Hemsworth is hot and a good actor, but could be a total asshat in relationships. Plus, he's married. I get your point though, I just can't stand when people use the "hot actor/actress" comparison to make their point! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 I also think she will say yes to Chris . Haha Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted May 4, 2015 Share Posted May 4, 2015 Rejection.....accept it and move on. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted May 4, 2015 Author Share Posted May 4, 2015 Hah!! Lol plot twist! She said she's still waiting for her plane flight info....ummm...is she just ****ing with me or is she still interested? A week before you leave, it seems like you'd have the plane flight info, but idk. Also I should say, this girl really does not seem like the typical "player". She's absolutely not promiscuous or the typical "party girl". So I kind of doubt she is just ****ing around with me for fun....but then again it seems like that.... Link to post Share on other sites
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