Jump to content

One third of online dating users have no intent of meeting anyone.


Mrlonelyone

Recommended Posts

fitnessfan365

There are some women who use OLD for an ego boost, or just to kill time chatting online because they're bored. However, once you get to know the signs, you can weed them out pretty quickly. Like if a woman writes without viewing my profile. Or if she sends a one sentence response just answering my question with no follow up, etc..

 

For guys - Any woman that's ever given me a number to meet from OLD did so within 1-3 emails a piece. So don't feel like you have to pen pal. If you've exchanged a few emails and want to meet her, go for it. If she gives you a song and dance about having to email more, delete her.

 

For women - If a guy hasn't asked for your number within 5 emails tops, he either lacks confidence, or has no intention of ever asking you out. So move on and talk to someone else.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

There are many problems with internet dating the same as there are for all forms of dating...

 

This is just one of many.

 

If they don't want to meet you just move on. Simple as.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites

I may fit that bill.

 

But I don't use it for an ego boost or to chat. I just haven't connected with anyone I'm interested enough in yet.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
Lernaean_Hydra
This One Stat Perfectly Sums Up the Lame Reality of Online Dating - Mic

 

One third of online daters have never gone on a date from OLD and at least 22% have no intention of ever meeting up! So what does this say about those of us who have met someone for dates off the sites?

 

 

Hmm, not sure why the title says something completely different...

 

At any rate, I'm not all that surprised. In fact, a mere 22% seems really low. When I was OLD I encountered quite a few guys who clearly had no intent of meeting up, or at least not any time in the near future. I had to make a rule that I would make it known I was not looking for 'text buddies' up front. I also made a point not to allow interactions to drag on more than a few days without plans to meet ever being brought up.

 

Some people get on OLD seeking validation from strangers, others are just lonely and want someone to talk to without ever having to meet face to face. Those in the 'no intention of meeting up' camp often don't even have completely nefarious intentions but they will waste your time all the same if you're not careful.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
PegNosePete
So what does this say about those of us who have met someone for dates off the sites?

It says we're in the other two thirds.

AKA the majority.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites

83% of all statistics are made up.

 

You're looking at the glass half empty. Two thirds of people do meet up with people they speak to online. Glass half full.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Mrlonelyone

So all the threads here about online dating need to keep in mind the statistics. In OLD 22% admit to not wanting to actually meet anyone, 30% haven't physically even met anyone. On those phone based websites like Tinder... 1 billion swipes and only 12 million mutual matches per day. So in other words for an average person there is a 1.2% chance of someone you like liking you back!

Link to post
Share on other sites
So all the threads here about online dating need to keep in mind the statistics. In OLD 22% admit to not wanting to actually meet anyone, 30% haven't physically even met anyone. On those phone based websites like Tinder... 1 billion swipes and only 12 million mutual matches per day. So in other words for an average person there is a 1.2% chance of someone you like liking you back!

 

Well 1.2 is higher than 0...

 

I wasn't all that worried about meeting people from OLD but I have now met quite a few.

 

Its been daunting, fun and a bit weird at times. But ho hum. I am hoping that I can stop all this messing about soon and just settle with one.

 

Only want one decent one...

Link to post
Share on other sites
There are some women who use OLD for an ego boost, or just to kill time chatting online because they're bored. However, once you get to know the signs, you can weed them out pretty quickly. Like if a woman writes without viewing my profile. Or if she sends a one sentence response just answering my question with no follow up, etc..

 

For guys - Any woman that's ever given me a number to meet from OLD did so within 1-3 emails a piece. So don't feel like you have to pen pal. If you've exchanged a few emails and want to meet her, go for it. If she gives you a song and dance about having to email more, delete her.

 

For women - If a guy hasn't asked for your number within 5 emails tops, he either lacks confidence, or has no intention of ever asking you out. So move on and talk to someone else.

 

I used to try to get out of the emailing/IMing thing pretty quickly. One email to introduce, a couple of brief IM sessions. I give my number they give me theirs and we have a real conversation. There's a lot to be said for voice inflection/tone, etc. The ones who exchanged numbers fairly quickly, were ones that had a real interest in meeting, although sometimes we just agreed already not to meet because we had "heard" enough to make that decision. Usually, they gave me their number first. I liked that. It was kind of a trust thing.

 

I did have one guy though who just blew up my phone, so I blocked him. Otherwise, things went smoothly.

 

Maybe I was just lucky enough to connect with a few "good ones".

 

And, with OLD, I had no problem being straight up from the get go about what I was looking for for myself. I kinda always did that even if it wasn't OLD.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I don't really see what the issue is. If you reach out to 10 people online, ~8 of them are willing to go out (at least with someone - not necessarily you). If you meet 10 people in real life, odds are that many more than 2 are either married or in a relationship - meaning that if only 22% of online daters aren't willing to meet someone, that you're much more likely to run into someone online than in real life that is available and wanting to meet people.

 

They phrase the article in a negative way, and I'm not sure why - the reality of the situation is is that it's a good thing, as ~80% of the people are actively seeking to date...

Link to post
Share on other sites
I may fit that bill.

 

But I don't use it for an ego boost or to chat. I just haven't connected with anyone I'm interested enough in yet.

 

I would agree with that.

 

IMO, guys who use that excuse (she only wanted an ego boost or was bored)...use that excuse as a way to make themselves feel better about the fact that she just wasn't enthralled with them...as they expect and assume most women are.

 

Despite assertions to the contrary, you can find out quite a bit about someone via the exchange of a few emails.

 

Re not viewing the profile, folks who email without viewing the profile, are employed by the site, as a ploy to keep you hooked in.

Edited by katiegrl
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Mrlonelyone
I don't really see what the issue is. If you reach out to 10 people online, ~8 of them are willing to go out (at least with someone - not necessarily you). If you meet 10 people in real life, odds are that many more than 2 are either married or in a relationship - meaning that if only 22% of online daters aren't willing to meet someone, that you're much more likely to run into someone online than in real life that is available and wanting to meet people.

 

They phrase the article in a negative way, and I'm not sure why - the reality of the situation is is that it's a good thing, as ~80% of the people are actively seeking to date...

 

That may be so...but we also have to experiences of many on here and reports in the media that show that plenty of married folks will be online looking to creep on their SO.

 

No one is saying OLD is bad. All I am saying is that folks should not be so surprised when it is not like they make it look on TV. It is like you sign on to this or that site and in a week you are married to a great person. Lots of posters find there way here because OLD hasn't panned out like they had hoped.

 

 

For me I look at it in terms of hard numbers. There are about 450 million people in the USA 1/3 the right ages I could date them, 1/2 of those the right sex that I could have kids with them, 1.2% of them will be mutually attractive, when other compatibility factors are included there are ~22,000 people I could build a family with. If I get to spend various parts of my life with only a handful of them I'll be doing OK.

Edited by Mrlonelyone
Link to post
Share on other sites

So, the majority hope to meet someone. That's good.

 

Some have no intention of meeting (22%), and some haven't (33%) - if those two percentages completely overlap, then only 11% of those who WANT to meet someone have not, which is very good. No doubt at least 11% of people using OLD are not really dateable anyway.

 

I met about 5% of the people with whom I was in contact. Most weren't a good match. But I had far more prospects and dates from OLD than any other method, so it worked for me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Mrlonelyone
So, the majority hope to meet someone. That's good.

 

Some have no intention of meeting (22%), and some haven't (33%) - if those two percentages completely overlap, then only 11% of those who WANT to meet someone have not, which is very good. No doubt at least 11% of people using OLD are not really dateable anyway.

 

I met about 5% of the people with whom I was in contact. Most weren't a good match. But I had far more prospects and dates from OLD than any other method, so it worked for me.

 

That is one thing OLD is really good for. In real everyday life it is hard to find viable new prospects for dating. OLD makes that easy and is relatively cost and risk free.

Link to post
Share on other sites
mortensorchid

This is not surprising in the least. Many are treating it like a video game or just to have their egos stroked. I wonder about why they even bother. There have been times in the past I had been writing back and forth to guys online for weeks, in some cases months, only to have them never approach the subject of meeting, let alone exchange contact info outside of the website. This is the way of the world.

 

 

The best way to weed out the serious from the not so serious is to give it 5 emails. If he (or she) has not broached the subject of meeting (let alone exchange contact information outside of the website), then consider it a loss and move on. Some would criticize me for being harsh, but I also learned not to waste time with time wasters either.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Mrlonelyone
This is not surprising in the least. Many are treating it like a video game or just to have their egos stroked. I wonder about why they even bother. There have been times in the past I had been writing back and forth to guys online for weeks, in some cases months, only to have them never approach the subject of meeting, let alone exchange contact info outside of the website. This is the way of the world.

 

 

The best way to weed out the serious from the not so serious is to give it 5 emails. If he (or she) has not broached the subject of meeting (let alone exchange contact information outside of the website), then consider it a loss and move on. Some would criticize me for being harsh, but I also learned not to waste time with time wasters either.

 

I have adopted an even harsher policy. I ask someone if they want to meet in the first one or two messages. If they have a profile that is frankly sexual I send a frankly sexual first message.

 

I don't see any reason that people over the age of 30 who, by now, should really know what they want have to be super bashful about it. Lets meet and spend five minutes, either there is chemistry or there is not. (I do believe it can grow over time under the right circumstances...OLD is not that set of circumstances.)

Link to post
Share on other sites
40 Fonzarelli
So all the threads here about online dating need to keep in mind the statistics. In OLD 22% admit to not wanting to actually meet anyone, 30% haven't physically even met anyone. On those phone based websites like Tinder... 1 billion swipes and only 12 million mutual matches per day. So in other words for an average person there is a 1.2% chance of someone you like liking you back!

 

And even if there's a match, only a portion of those matches actually respond. Then only a portion of those that respond actually turn into dates. I strictly use Tinder as a time killer, and nothing more.

Link to post
Share on other sites
fitnessfan365

One thing I've noticed is that the longer I do online dating, the less patience I have. I used to wait to get a number after five emails. Then after while, I would exchange three a piece. Now I'll ask for a number 75-80% of the time after one email a piece and no more than two. The funny thing is that the amount of online dates I've had has gone way up since I started doing this.

 

If a woman is initially attracted and curious, she goes into that first email with the mindset of probably wanting to meet. If she's not willing to give her number, chances are she was never going to anyways and was just looking to chat. So going for a number really early, is a great screening technique. Makes the chatters disappear.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • 2 weeks later...

Unfortunately, I agree. Some people are going in for online dating just for fun. I met my fiance online (

https://kovla.com/datings/us/montgomery/ ) and we both had clear itentions to meet a spouse-to-be there. In a month of online dating we transferred our relations in real life. Now we are living together and planning a wedding.

Link to post
Share on other sites

I've never come across a man that delayed meeting me or wanted to play penpal first. Maybe it's a women thing because I heard men complaining about some women chatting for too long and then being difficult about meeting. Just drop these women geez!

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
empresario

This stat doesn't shock me. I came up with a word for these people back in my OLD days. I called them "lifers". The women that would be on there nearly constantly. They would also be there no matter how much time had passed. Six months, a year. I've never gotten a response from a lifer because the lifer isn't interested in people like me.

 

Common things about a lifer:

- profile pictures change week to week like it's their special little Facebook page

- they post a twitter or Instagram page in their header and ask you to follow

- they are constantly back (whereas serious women find someone and stop signing in)

- their profiles are forged over time and biographies are normal

- they won't respond if you seem likable...they aren't there to like anyone

Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...