VSgirl Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 I’ve been talking to a new guy from an online dating site pretty consistently for about a week. We talked for awhile on the site and then he suggested we talk through texting which we have been. He’s been initiating texting every day and we talk throughout the day and at night. Anyway, this guy asked if I could meet up this weekend..I work two jobs and worked a ton this weekend , but he was willing to drive the 45 minutes to come and see me. Because of some changes to my shifts this weekend basically we made last minute plans to get together tonight for dinner in my town. This guy even called me on the phone and talked to me for an hour last night talking about where we should go eat and he wanted to find out where I really wanted to go. He also texted he was really excited about us meeting before I went to bad last night. However I didn’t hear from him until around 3pm today and he texts me that he’s really sick and that I’ll “probably hate him for this” but can we reschedule for next weekend. I told him id have to see what my work schedule is (comes out tues) to see when I could meet. The thing that I thought was weird is that he said he was really sick but he didn’t want to say more details because it’s gross. (I’m guessing some stomach thing). Last night he told me he was drinking but he made clear this wasn’t a hangover. Perhaps this was low self esteem to think but I was worried this was a blow off. This guy has kept texting me off and on tonight and says he’s still interested…but the other thing was that I saw him online on the dating site tonight, multiple times. I know I don’t have claim on him but does this seem like a legit situation where he is really sick? He’s continued to say he’s feeling bad without specifics. Should I just give it this week and see if he sets up plans for next weekend? The other thing is that I think he knew I was skeptical about whether he was sick or not..I’ve tried to be supportive and give him the benefit of the doubt since then though. I would love to know your thoughts! Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 (edited) 1) This guy seems a bit over eager. Initiating all day long texting sessions for a week straight, jumping at the chance to drive 45 mins to see you, calling you the night before the date to talk on the phone an hour, and then sending you an excited to meet text that same night. It's a bit much considering you two have never met. So might be a warning sign of clingy/needy behavior. 2) But with that said, what guy is going to invest that much energy only to blow you off? That's why I'd give him the benefit of the doubt at least for now. Since he has done all the initiating up until now, I'd say do this. Wait 3-4 days. If you don't hear anything send a quick text saying "Dr. (your name) checking in on the patient. ;-) " Then if he responds, drop a hint about the weekend saying which day works better for you, and let him finalize the plans. Edited April 27, 2015 by fitnessfan365 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 27, 2015 Share Posted April 27, 2015 It could be either. See what he does next & how you feel about it. Without knowing him, we can't say for sure whether he was sick or not. Link to post Share on other sites
Author VSgirl Posted April 29, 2015 Author Share Posted April 29, 2015 So I have heard from this guy every day up until today (haven't heard yet). I got my work schedule from my second Job (I'm working around 70 hours a week right now). I was excited because I have sat and sun night off..so during when we were texting I figured I could let him know that. This guy started a new temp job on Monday and is still working some part time hours at his other job. I mentioned to him casually that if he had the working blues we could fix that with sushi on sat figuring he'd be good to go since he'd suggested rescheduling on the weekend and Is totally off on the weekends. To my surprise he says something to the effect of "hopefully, but I might just sleep all weekend since I'm tired". What do you guys think of this? Should I just step back and let him make a move or does this guy sound like a time waster? Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Edit: Based on your last post, he failed to the accept the date. Next. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 So I have heard from this guy every day up until today (haven't heard yet). I got my work schedule from my second Job (I'm working around 70 hours a week right now). I was excited because I have sat and sun night off..so during when we were texting I figured I could let him know that. This guy started a new temp job on Monday and is still working some part time hours at his other job. I mentioned to him casually that if he had the working blues we could fix that with sushi on sat figuring he'd be good to go since he'd suggested rescheduling on the weekend and Is totally off on the weekends. To my surprise he says something to the effect of "hopefully, but I might just sleep all weekend since I'm tired". What do you guys think of this? Should I just step back and let him make a move or does this guy sound like a time waster? Until he becomes consistent with contact and more calling and until you actually go out with him, you don't think about him. Yes, step back, let him come to you and demonstrate a clear and sincere interest in you. Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 step #1, never invest yourself or your feelings in someone you have never been on several dates with. step#2 repeat step #1 step#3 keep your options open Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 So I have heard from this guy every day up until today (haven't heard yet). I got my work schedule from my second Job (I'm working around 70 hours a week right now). I was excited because I have sat and sun night off..so during when we were texting I figured I could let him know that. This guy started a new temp job on Monday and is still working some part time hours at his other job. I mentioned to him casually that if he had the working blues we could fix that with sushi on sat figuring he'd be good to go since he'd suggested rescheduling on the weekend and Is totally off on the weekends. To my surprise he says something to the effect of "hopefully, but I might just sleep all weekend since I'm tired". What do you guys think of this? Should I just step back and let him make a move or does this guy sound like a time waster? You put yourself out there and ask him out, only for him to say that he'd rather sleep? Ouch. In my opinion, there's no question that you should stop dealing with him immediately. Attractive, genuine women like yourself that make an effort, deserve better than that crap. Actually bugs me to be honest. Granted, honesty is always the best policy. But if he's too much of a coward to do that, the least he could do is come up with a better excuse. Say that he has plans with friends, or a family dinner, etc.. Something. But to say that he'd rather sleep. Douche. Still though, it makes no sense to me at all why he'd go through all that effort simply to blow you off. Unless he's too scared to actually spend time with a woman in person. Link to post Share on other sites
mammasita Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 UGH, definitely NEXT him "I might just sleep all weekend" instead of wanting to go out on the date he cancelled on? Ignore, ignore and ignore. Link to post Share on other sites
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