UntitledNotepad Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 So I went on a first date, it went pretty well, and now we have a second date scheduled for in about 2 weeks (we wanted to wait till after finals). I don't see her much...should I say something to her on facebook? Before our first date, she initiated the conversation a number of times on facebook, but now she isn't. Should I initiate a conversation with her? Should I wait for her to say something? Should I just wait until a day or so before our schedulde date with a generic logistics-type message? Also, I know that usually the man is expected to initiate a relationship. This one kind of was initiated by her...and now after the first date she is not initiating any conversations...is this just the natural progression of our relationship, or is it a bad sign? Thanks so much!!! Link to post Share on other sites
GTR King Posted April 24, 2015 Share Posted April 24, 2015 so the 1st date went ok. If it went well the man has gotta organise the next date (Place time & date). if she really likes you she will accept your date & wanna see you again.... Text/call her to set the date up & if she wanna speak/text more then go for it Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted April 24, 2015 Author Share Posted April 24, 2015 we already have a second dated planned and set up and she said yes!! but theres a lot of time in between and idk what to do and idk why she hasnt sent a message to me like she used to Link to post Share on other sites
GTR King Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 did you message her last? if so message her one more time (if last message was more than 3 hours ago) and if she don't reply leave her be & let her come to you. if she is truly interested she will message you Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 If you WANT to reach out to her, then do so. She may be pulling back in initiating because you're not doing any of it. Trust me, having to be the one to initiate all the time gets tiring. You really stand to lose nothing if you reach out to her first—it might even make her feel good knowing that the guy she likes is thinking enough about her to want to make contact. My BF and I have been dating for 8 months and I still get a huge smile on my face every time he sends me a text. If she has a problem with you reaching out to her, then she is not the girl for you. Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 after the date, there were probably 4 mini conversations that I initiated. Each time she responded in a nice way (smileys, exclamantions, etc.) except one which was a bit delayed, but she still did reply. i don't want to keep sending her messages if it is annoying her. i am tempted to just ignore her and let her reply, but im afraid that she will feel that I an ignoring her.... WTF i hate dating -,- Link to post Share on other sites
GTR King Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 if she likes you she will love it when she hears from you etc if you sent her the last message then leave it a few days (2-3 Days) & see if she replies to your message. if not sent her one more message then leave it. You will only annoy her if she not into you and you keep texting her but if she is interested she will not get annoyed at all.. don't focus on one girl keep your options open Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted April 25, 2015 Author Share Posted April 25, 2015 ok thanks...like what would be an example of a short message? "Hey hope your day today is great!" or "You looking forward to summer?" or something longer? Link to post Share on other sites
GTR King Posted April 25, 2015 Share Posted April 25, 2015 Say something like I hope you have a great day ? xxxx That will do as short & simple Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted April 29, 2015 Author Share Posted April 29, 2015 We both said those types of things many times. Are there any other things? What could I saw that would make her laugh? Link to post Share on other sites
GTR King Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 anything really... if something funny happened to you that day you could tell her etc Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 You don't need to say anything between dates, you can talk on the date. However, 2 weeks between dates is a little long. Try to make a date once a week. Also keep in mind you don't have a foundation for a relationship for two months. Link to post Share on other sites
dangerbang Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 I'm in a similar boat. 2 weeks between dates because of other commitments. I know it means sparks weren't flying all over the place because in previous successful dates you do whatever you can to meet again. I sent the last message on Monday evening, just telling her about my day etc, but I didn't ask her any questions. No response yet. I just realised I deleted her out of whatsapp anyway and I don't have her number even if I want to message her again! If I had her number though, would it be wise to message her again or let her get on to me? Not that I can do that anyway, as I deleted her number! Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Yeah two weeks between dates is rough man. Even though you had a decent date, in the beginning it can be out of sight, out of mind and that much space kills momentum. I'd recommend keeping in touch every so often just to stay in her orbit. Send her a YouTube link with a video that reminded you of her. Or give her a quick call to catch up, etc.. As long as you're not blowing up her phone on a daily basis, she'll actually like hearing from you. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 that much space kills momentum. - Exactly. But since you have a date set already, I say keep quiet.... playing hard to get doubles attraction. From now on, try to get a date once a week. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 So I went on a first date, it went pretty well, and now we have a second date scheduled for in about 2 weeks (we wanted to wait till after finals). I don't see her much...should I say something to her on facebook? Before our first date, she initiated the conversation a number of times on facebook, but now she isn't. Should I initiate a conversation with her? Should I wait for her to say something? Should I just wait until a day or so before our schedulde date with a generic logistics-type message? Also, I know that usually the man is expected to initiate a relationship. This one kind of was initiated by her...and now after the first date she is not initiating any conversations...is this just the natural progression of our relationship, or is it a bad sign? Thanks so much!!! It may be that she's realizing how much initiating she's done and is now leaving it to you in order for her to gauge your continued interest level. You've got another date scheduled two weeks out. If she doesn't hear fro you at all in between, she'll be on edge a little. Don't leave her hanging in between, she'll lose interest or start questioning yours. And, make a phone call. Don't do all FB or texting. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Also, it sounds like a good time for circular dating. Link to post Share on other sites
ASG Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 I'm in a similar boat. 2 weeks between dates because of other commitments. I know it means sparks weren't flying all over the place because in previous successful dates you do whatever you can to meet again. I sent the last message on Monday evening, just telling her about my day etc, but I didn't ask her any questions. No response yet. I just realised I deleted her out of whatsapp anyway and I don't have her number even if I want to message her again! If I had her number though, would it be wise to message her again or let her get on to me? Not that I can do that anyway, as I deleted her number! Wait... so you have a date planned with her and you deleted her number?!?! Why the hell would you do that?!?! I can't help but thinking you're trying to pull our leg... Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 It may be that she's realizing how much initiating she's done and is now leaving it to you in order for her to gauge your continued interest level. You've got another date scheduled two weeks out. If she doesn't hear fro you at all in between, she'll be on edge a little. Don't leave her hanging in between, she'll lose interest or start questioning yours. And, make a phone call. Don't do all FB or texting. Read through a lot of the posts and you'll see tons of posts from women/girls who have met someone they like and don't hear from them in between dates. You'll see that they do fret a little. So do the guys. It's not about the contact so much as over doing it. It's about balance. You or she initiates and the other responds in kind. She's done most of it, so you need to do some too. Link to post Share on other sites
dangerbang Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Wait... so you have a date planned with her and you deleted her number?!?! Why the hell would you do that?!?! I can't help but thinking you're trying to pull our leg... She was in my list of whatsapp chats, and I became tired of waiting for a response, so I said ok I'll delete it so I can't keep reading the messages like some kind of weirdo. Then after that I realised I don't have her saved as a contact! Well I guess if it's meant to be, she'll send me a message. Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 - Exactly. But since you have a date set already, I say keep quiet.... playing hard to get doubles attraction. From now on, try to get a date once a week. Giving a woman space does let her miss you which increases attraction. But you also have to take into account a woman's emotional investment. After one date, she isn't going to care enough yet. All she'll end up doing is getting bored and moving on if she never hears word one in two weeks. That's why I think you have to find the right balance. Stay in a woman's life and be consistent (touching base every so often, planning dates, doing what you say you will) with also giving her a bit of breathing room while you live your life. In my opinion, playing "hard to get" where you just disappear indefinitely bugs a woman and makes her get bored more than anything else. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 Giving a woman space does let her miss you which increases attraction. But you also have to take into account a woman's emotional investment. After one date, she isn't going to care enough yet. All she'll end up doing is getting bored and moving on if she never hears word one in two weeks. . - it depends on how attracted she is to the man - women will will have varying degrees of attraction (when they are attracted to a man) in the beginning, it depends on the woman. Date women who like you a lot and you'll have a lot less problems. OP deleted her number? I guess he's really going to be a challenge now. Hopefully she'll call/text him. Link to post Share on other sites
Redhead14 Posted April 29, 2015 Share Posted April 29, 2015 - it depends on how attracted she is to the man - women will will have varying degrees of attraction (when they are attracted to a man) in the beginning, it depends on the woman. Date women who like you a lot and you'll have a lot less problems. OP deleted her number? I guess he's really going to be a challenge now. Hopefully she'll call/text him. Space in the very beginning doesn't increase attraction. It causes a lot of questioning as to sincerity and interest. You need to keep the interest level up in the beginning but in a balanced way. Space is what is needed when you've been too aggressive or needy, whatever. Space is about recovering from a misstep, faux pas to allow the other person to move past that and regain the original level of interest he or she had for that person. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author UntitledNotepad Posted April 30, 2015 Author Share Posted April 30, 2015 Thanks for all the help guys. GaryS, can you clarify what you meant by "Also keep in mind you don't have a foundation for a relationship for two months." Do you mean that before 2 months of dating you don't really have a relationship yet? or do you mean that with the single date there is little chance of 2 more months? Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 30, 2015 Share Posted April 30, 2015 It takes two months for a woman to fall in love. Until that time, she can't be fully invested. Link to post Share on other sites
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