Surprised....

[Bluemug]

Hi - so just ended a seven week "thing" with a guy and was quite happily plodding my way through work. Pick up my phone after the gym and discovered a message from an old flame I dated at the start of the year. He called it all off after three weeks of dating, a few days after one of his grandparents died. To say I'm shocked is an understatement - I'd fallen for him badly and chose

Not to daydream about getting back together with him. Now I'm just confused. Why now?! Life is confusing enough

[Redhead14]

Hi - so just ended a seven week "thing" with a guy and was quite happily plodding my way through work. Pick up my phone after the gym and discovered a message from an old flame I dated at the start of the year. He called it all off after three weeks of dating, a few days after one of his grandparents died. To say I'm shocked is an understatement - I'd fallen for him badly and chose

Not to daydream about getting back together with him. Now I'm just confused. Why now?! Life is confusing enough

 

 

It doesn't matter why now. If you're still interested enough and he asks you for a date, you go and start the dating process with him from square one until you know what his true interest level and intentions are.

 

And, he's not an old flame after you'd only dated for three weeks. He's just a guy you went out with a few times. So put that "flame" thought out. Start over.

 

There are a ton of things we could assume . . . he's bored and there isn't anyone else. He just wants to say hi and have a drink or two, whatever. Let him demonstrate what he wants and communicate.

[smackie9]

So why would you date someone that had ditched a good thing (YOU) because of a death in the family?....is he going to bale on you when something else comes up? Something is sketchy.....he contacts you months later...hmmmmm. It's possible he was dating someone at the same time and decided to go with the other....now that didn't work out so he contacts you again.

[preraph]

I don't know if the death had anything to do with him ditching you, but you should go out with him and ask him or ask him before deciding to go out with him. I do believe people can be overwhelmed when they have a loved one sick to the point they just need to stop doing anything unessential. But whether that's the case here, who knows.

[Gaeta]

I would chit chat with him and ask if he's been dating and when his last relationship ended. My bet is on he just broke up with someone. Men are notorious for reaching out to exs when they just broke up.

[Gary S]

Can you really go back and date this guy again? He rejected you, that's a big blow to the heart, and perhaps your ego. I hope the best for you, but would not be surprised that if you do meet him again, you realize the fire is gone. Please keep us updated.

[Bluemug]

So a fair few weeks have passed and we've had a few conversations here and there. He's begins most of them by complementing my whatsapp pic, asking me why I've changed it etc etc.

 

I can't quite work out what this thing is. Last night he asked me to the theatre, to a show he asked me to see before things ended before. I said yes, but hello land of confusion.

 

At the same time I'm talking to someone else who is just as far from my type as possible. I just find myself suspicious of him. Weird

[Guitarisgood]

Well you were only seeing the dude for 3 weeks only. If it was a LTR, then things would be different. A girl is no different to a guy when sometimes he may need space if something in life affects him.

 

Obviously trust your gut but I don't see why your ego should get in the way of you if you are still interested in the guy. Just don't have any expectations, both of you have fun and see from their.

 

I know I've disappeared for even worse excuses than a family passing and have myself experienced the same from other girls. I do follow a 3 strike rule.