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Lot of talking, but I can’t meet her in person… Should I continue?


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I met this girl about a month ago. It was actually her that approached me. She had a lot of things to say about herself, and also asked me quite a few questions about me, too. We met for a few days and she wanted to get in touch with me.

 

I’m a quiet guy who doesn’t get noticed a lot, so I was kinda glad that someone was paying attention to me. She’s very attractive, perky, and very much out of my league, but I would have been happy to be just one of her many friends.

 

It’s been a month since I saw her. I can text or call her and she responds promptly, but she won’t meet me. She’d talk willingly, sharing what’s happening in her life, things that she like, etc., but I can’t get her to commit to a date. Sometimes I’d be subtle, sometimes blatant, but she’d always find a way out. I try to be on good terms with her, but honestly I’m a bit annoyed and frustrated at this point.

 

I know that she’s very active, going out with her friends and doing all sorts of stuff every week because she shares all those things (No she wasn’t sarcastic). So what gives??

 

Since she doesn’t initiate conversation, if I stopped connecting with her that’s going to be it for this relationship. I want to get to know her better in person, but at this rate I’ll never be able to see her again.

 

If you have any advice for this kind of girl, please help me!

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Scary, you called what's happening a "relationship." Move on man, she's obivuosly not that into you. You're stringing yourself along for future heartaches and restraining orders.

 

 

Just stop contacting her. If she asks why, tell her. (Not the crazy- what happened to OUR relationship- stuff) that you want/need more. And that you're not looking for a text buddy.

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fitnessfan365

It is frustrating man. No doubt about that. Logic states that if she's not interested she won't respond right? But it's that instant response and her "enjoyment" of talking to you that keeps you on the hook. But what she's getting off on is you feeding her ego.

 

I went through the same thing with an ex GF on and off for six months. I broke up with her. But regretted it daily and reached out a few months later. Instant response, great convo, flirting, etc.. Yet "maybe" to plans. So I tried walking away. But all i could think about is that she didn't say "no". So a few months later, same exact thing. Then a few months later, and same thing for strike three. In all three cases, I gave it two months between each time like I said. So it's not like I was blowing her phone up or acting like a stalker. But I was just in denial. All I wanted was for her to just not respond to give me closure. But all three times, instant response, great convo, and a "maybe". But what I finally realized was that she loved the ego boost of a guy that broke up with her not getting over her. The sick part is that even now, 18 months later, there is still a small part of me that misses her from time to time. Only woman who I ever truly connected with.

Edited by fitnessfan365
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My guess is...

 

1. She's got a bf you don't know about

2. Just looking for an ego boost, and feels better abut herself if she talks to guys

3. You came off clingy, and friendzoned yourself. Basically she enjoys talking to you but doesn't have any desire to meet.

 

Doesn't matter what the case is, move on...when you stop reaching out to her, if she truly cares, she will try to make plans. She knows how you feel so move one..balls in her court (don't ever let that happen again). Next time, if you start talking to a girl and she pulls this "maybe" bs when making plans you simply say, "no problem let's just plan a day that you know for sure.. I'm a busy guy" then go meet other girls in the meantime. That shows her you aren't needy, and have a life. If she doesn't supply you with a set date, you end all contact, try again a week later. If the second time rolls around, and she still pulls the "maybe" drop her completely because she's clearly not into you, or talking to you for the wrong reasons. Sounds like a huge headache, and quite frankly a waste of time when you could be meeting a girl that values you, and actually wants to hang out.

 

As the old saying goes, "she needs to either sh*t or get off the pot!" No time for that man....

Edited by Mjm1014
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Thanks for the replies guys! I also felt something similar as I read over what I’d written, but you gave me a better reality check. Yes Hawaii51, I’m not looking for a text buddy.

I’ve seen many girls who put off responding to my text for days, but this one was different so I thought maybe this time it’s different. Thanks to fitnessfan365 for sharing a similar experience - I probably would’ve gone through the same thing even if things turned out for better.

Mjm1014, I think it’s little bit of everything. She knows how to present herself among guys, and she’s got a line of boys waiting for her so I doubt that she’ll ever be without a bf. I already tried not talking for a week strategy, and the same thing came out. Now that you mention it, I kinda regret that I didn’t drop her altogether when that happened and still kept in touch.

 

Again, thanks for the thoughtful advice. I’ll be on my way to look for a better girl who truly values me.

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Fitness Fan, just out of curiosity, why did you break up with her? And why did you regret it immediately thereafter?

 

This happens quite often I have discovered, and am curious as to what prompts this behavior.

 

 

It is frustrating man. No doubt about that. Logic states that if she's not interested she won't respond right? But it's that instant response and her "enjoyment" of talking to you that keeps you on the hook. But what she's getting off on is you feeding her ego.

 

I went through the same thing with an ex GF on and off for six months. I broke up with her. But regretted it daily and reached out a few months later. Instant response, great convo, flirting, etc.. Yet "maybe" to plans. So I tried walking away. But all i could think about is that she didn't say "no". So a few months later, same exact thing. Then a few months later, and same thing for strike three. In all three cases, I gave it two months between each time like I said. So it's not like I was blowing her phone up or acting like a stalker. But I was just in denial. All I wanted was for her to just not respond to give me closure. But all three times, instant response, great convo, and a "maybe". But what I finally realized was that she loved the ego boost of a guy that broke up with her not getting over her. The sick part is that even now, 18 months later, there is still a small part of me that misses her from time to time. Only woman who I ever truly connected with.

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I met this girl about a month ago. It was actually her that approached me. She had a lot of things to say about herself, and also asked me quite a few questions about me, too. We met for a few days and she wanted to get in touch with me.

 

I’m a quiet guy who doesn’t get noticed a lot, so I was kinda glad that someone was paying attention to me. She’s very attractive, perky, and very much out of my league, but I would have been happy to be just one of her many friends.

 

It’s been a month since I saw her. I can text or call her and she responds promptly, but she won’t meet me. She’d talk willingly, sharing what’s happening in her life, things that she like, etc., but I can’t get her to commit to a date. Sometimes I’d be subtle, sometimes blatant, but she’d always find a way out. I try to be on good terms with her, but honestly I’m a bit annoyed and frustrated at this point.

 

I know that she’s very active, going out with her friends and doing all sorts of stuff every week because she shares all those things (No she wasn’t sarcastic). So what gives??

 

Since she doesn’t initiate conversation, if I stopped connecting with her that’s going to be it for this relationship. I want to get to know her better in person, but at this rate I’ll never be able to see her again.

 

If you have any advice for this kind of girl, please help me!

 

If she is that busy and can't make room for you after so many attempts by you, I'd drop it altogether.

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A sane woman who has feelings for a man won't turn down a date. They want to be next to you.

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Chat with her a bit if you like, but be aware that there's nothing else being offered.

 

I would just move on, personally.

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