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What would a guy really think if a woman asked HIM out on a date?


BlackOpsZombieGirl

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BlackOpsZombieGirl

I've only done this once in my life, and it went very well, although I could tell the guy kind of acted like he was in uncharted territory lol. I liked him a lot and thought, what the hell?! What's the worst thing he could say to me?

 

Well, when I get back into dating again, I'm thinking about doing this - but ONLY with a guy that I really like and am attracted to. Again, what's the worst reaction that a guy could have?:o He might say "No thank you" or "My, aren't you forward?" or something else along those lines that would equal to a rejection. I'm not worried about being rejected - it's more like I'm wondering if a guy would think I was a weirdo for asking him out and paying for the entire date! Most of my friends think it'd be a cool thing to do and that most guys would like it, but some of them think I'd be flipping the dating dynamic too far in the other direction and that it might give a guy the wrong message.

 

So, I'd like to read some posts from the guys here on what you would HONESTLY think (after messaging/talking on the phone with a woman you've met on OLD or IRL for a week and after you've met for the first time at a coffee shop, etc. and you liked her) if she asked YOU out on an official date with her paying your way?! Could a guy feel offended by this gesture? Would he think she was being too forward? Would he feel weirded out? I'm really curious about this and would like to know the truth about what some of you would REALLY think if this happened to you.:cool:

 

To the gals: Would you ever ask a guy out on an official date and pay his way for the entire evening? Or are you more traditional and would never do something like that?

 

 

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todreaminblue

i dotn normally ask guys out because i am a traditionalist ....i feel more forward and its awkward for me...makes me feel dominating...which is against how i would be in a relationship anyway...i have never had a problem with guys asking me.......i do seem to have problems....the other way round..it feels wrong to me.........deb

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BlackOpsZombieGirl
i dotn normally ask guys out because i am a traditionalist ....i feel more forward and its awkward for me...makes me feel dominating...which is against how i would be in a relationship anyway...i have never had a problem with guys asking me.......i do seem to have problems....the other way round..it feels wrong to me.........deb

 

Yeah, I used to feel that way up until a few years ago. Idk, it was just something about how attracted I was to his personality (and of course, he was cute!) and I guess I was feeling confident; I mean, I had a good job and could afford to treat a guy that I really liked. Plus, since guys always have to put themselves out there and ask the woman out on a date and spend their money, I thought it would be a cool and nice thing for me to do for a guy, to make him feel special.

 

Thanks for sharing your opinion on this, Deb.:)

 

 

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I wouldn't date someone who wants to date me

 

I wanted to like your post, but I'm not sure if you were being sarcastic? Lol

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I think some guys would feel a loss of control they didn't like. I think others would assume now it was a sure thing you were going to sleep with them right away. But if you already knew the guy a little, then odds are better it would just go well and not get confusing.

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I have a friend who is happily married to a man that she asked out. They worked together, and she liked him, so she went for it. Later on, he admitted that he liked her, but that it would have taken him a long time to ask her out.

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BOZG: Like anything with dating, asking a guy out with a positive outcome (i.e. relationship) in mind is hit or miss. You have a 50/50 chance of the guy you ask out on a date being a good catch, or a throw-back.

 

I've never paid a guy's way. I've gone Dutch though. I'm a hybrid of Dutch and Traditional = "Dutchitional." Say that 3 times with a full mouth! :laugh:

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I think some guys would feel a loss of control they didn't like. I think others would assume now it was a sure thing you were going to sleep with them right away. But if you already knew the guy a little, then odds are better it would just go well and not get confusing.

 

I agree with you preraph. A guy may feel emasculated by a woman who asks him out. And some men will assume she's an easy lay if she makes the first move. It's so hard to know until you ask the guy out, how he'll respond.

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I personally really like it when a girl does the asking for a change. It takes a bit of the pressure off

 

I'm usually really impressed when they take the initiative. So much that I have gone on dates that I wouldn't have considered otherwise, just because they were bold enough to ask. Fortune favors the bold!

 

TOJAZ

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I agree with you preraph. A guy may feel emasculated by a woman who asks him out. And some men will assume she's an easy lay if she makes the first move. It's so hard to know until you ask the guy out, how he'll respond.

 

I wouldn't feel emasculated, but I'd be curious, does she ask out guys all the time, does she have a date for every day of the week?

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I wouldn't feel emasculated, but I'd be curious, does she ask out guys all the time, does she have a date for every day of the week?

 

Ah, but you'd be curious about whether she asks men out all the time, which possibly means she's a real flirt etc.,. right? Would you ever have a relationship with a woman who asked you out first?

 

I'd really like to know why a man would feel emasculated by a woman who asked him out. What I don't like is when a guy gives me his phone number, instead of asking me to give him mine. Is romance dead already? Don't men ask for phone numbers anymore?

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What would a guy really think if a woman asked HIM out on a date?

 

Who pays? :D

 

If it ever happens I'll post it here and, yes, I'd pay.

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TouchedByViolet

Worst case scenario I am flattered. Best case scenario a wonderful date follows.

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DrReplyInRhymes

I personally wouldn't mind if a girl approached me for a first date,

I think it'd be awesome, especially if we hit it off and could really relate,

It'd give me a green light that she sees me more than just a friend,

and it wouldn't emasculate me as some replies you'll get from men.

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Ah, but you'd be curious about whether she asks men out all the time, which possibly means she's a real flirt etc.,. right? Would you ever have a relationship with a woman who asked you out first?

 

I'd really like to know why a man would feel emasculated by a woman who asked him out. What I don't like is when a guy gives me his phone number, instead of asking me to give him mine. Is romance dead already? Don't men ask for phone numbers anymore?

Hey, I'd just be curious, I wouldn't write her off, but I'd be on my toes.

 

I don't know about the whole emasculation thing or why men give you their number. My best guess is, they tired of dead ends, asking for her number only to be ignored so they give you their and if you're interested, you can call them.

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Hey, I'd just be curious, I wouldn't write her off, but I'd be on my toes.

 

I don't know about the whole emasculation thing or why men give you their number. My best guess is, they tired of dead ends, asking for her number only to be ignored so they give you their and if you're interested, you can call them.

 

If someone just handed me their card, I would think they weren't attracted to me.

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blackcat777

I used to do things like that all the time... now I never would.

 

Chasing men has never ended well for me.

 

If a man isn't willing to chase me, he isn't that interested. If I can't spark his interest some other way, time to move on. It saves a lot of headaches from guys that run hot and cold.

 

Plus, ultimately, I am more happy being the feminine element of the relationship. At the end of the day, I want to know that HE is strong and brave and can take care of me.

 

I shacked up with a peter pan man-child once. It was terrible (and my fault for staying as long as I did). A dominant man willing to take initiative, and who is into me, is what I want.

 

Emotionally unavailable guys? Ugh, I'm so over them. All of them, no matter how sexy or charismatic or brooding.

 

So, me learning to exist in a magnetic state yields better results.

 

Learning to let go and just be, just go with the flow, rather than constantly having to be in control has worked WONDERS for my current relationship. I love to tell my man he's the boss... and I love the face he makes when I say it.

 

Masculine/feminine roles might be "outdated" in the post-feminist world and somewhat politically incorrect, but they make fireworks in the bedroom.

 

So, no, now, I would never ask a man out.

 

This wouldn't, however, stop me from flirting. If a guy I really liked wouldn't ask me out, then damn, I'd have to flirt harder. ;)

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Hey, I'd just be curious, I wouldn't write her off, but I'd be on my toes.

 

I don't know about the whole emasculation thing or why men give you their number. My best guess is, they tired of dead ends, asking for her number only to be ignored so they give you their and if you're interested, you can call them.

 

Ok, that's a fair response. I remember the Dating Era when a man asked a woman for her phone number. It just seems like the best way to know that a man is interested in you, when he asks you for your phone number. I don't like having to offer my phone number, or take his phone number.

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If someone just handed me their card, I would think they weren't attracted to me.

 

^^This! Agree with you 100% Anela! This has happened to me multiple times to the point where I won't take a man's phone number anymore. If he can't ask me for mine, then I know he's not that invested in getting to know me.

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I used to do things like that all the time... now I never would.

 

Chasing men has never ended well for me.

 

If a man isn't willing to chase me, he isn't that interested. If I can't spark his interest some other way, time to move on. It saves a lot of headaches from guys that run hot and cold.

 

Plus, ultimately, I am more happy being the feminine element of the relationship. At the end of the day, I want to know that HE is strong and brave and can take care of me.

 

I shacked up with a peter pan man-child once. It was terrible (and my fault for staying as long as I did). A dominant man willing to take initiative, and who is into me, is what I want.

 

Emotionally unavailable guys? Ugh, I'm so over them. All of them, no matter how sexy or charismatic or brooding.

 

So, me learning to exist in a magnetic state yields better results.

 

Learning to let go and just be, just go with the flow, rather than constantly having to be in control has worked WONDERS for my current relationship. I love to tell my man he's the boss... and I love the face he makes when I say it.

 

Masculine/feminine roles might be "outdated" in the post-feminist world and somewhat politically incorrect, but they make fireworks in the bedroom.

 

So, no, now, I would never ask a man out.

 

This wouldn't, however, stop me from flirting. If a guy I really liked wouldn't ask me out, then damn, I'd have to flirt harder. ;)

 

+1 post blackcat777. Couldn't agree with you more!! So you shacked up with a Peter Pan man-child once? Eww. I'm so sorry you had to put up with that nonsense. Yuck.

 

I'm also over the emotionally unavailable men who trap me easily (because I foolishly allow it), with their charisma and charm. I would just like a nice, normal guy to date for once, who is emotionally available. For once.

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BlackOpsZombieGirl
I think some guys would feel a loss of control they didn't like. I think others would assume now it was a sure thing you were going to sleep with them right away. But if you already knew the guy a little, then odds are better it would just go well and not get confusing.

 

This is an excellent post and it was almost exactly what I was thinking that they'd be thinking! I wouldn't want a guy to feel he was 'losing control' over...over what? Him leading things? And omg, I certainly would NOT want a guy to think that I'm going to sleep with him right away!:confused:

 

 

I wouldn't feel emasculated, but I'd be curious, does she ask out guys all the time, does she have a date for every day of the week?

 

Yeah, those would be reasonable things for a guy to think! But, in my case, I'd only ask a guy out whose personality I was really attracted to, who I thought was cute/attractive and who I clicked with at the first meet. I definitely wouldn't ask out guys 'all the time', nor would I do that to 'get a date every day of the week'!

 

 

Ah, but you'd be curious about whether she asks men out all the time, which possibly means she's a real flirt etc.,. right? Would you ever have a relationship with a woman who asked you out first?

I'd really like to know why a man would feel emasculated by a woman who asked him out. What I don't like is when a guy gives me his phone number, instead of asking me to give him mine. Is romance dead already? Don't men ask for phone numbers anymore?

 

I'd like to know this too. I realize that, for hundreds of years (maybe even longer than that!), guys have been pursuing women and asking them out. At least two guys on my thread said that they'd like it if a woman asked them out; so, that's encouraging!

 

 

Who pays? :D

 

If it ever happens I'll post it here and, yes, I'd pay.

 

No, no. You must've not read my entire OP. I asked what would a guy really think if a woman asked him out on an official date AND paid his way? ;)

 

 

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I've been asked out many times, it's not a problem... if I like her, I don't care who asks who. Male/female dynamics, please, give me a break - as long as the woman is feminine and the man is masculine, it does not matter!

 

The only thing I say is, since guys will usually ask out first if they like a woman, why should a woman lift a finger and risk rejection if they don't have to? If I had legs like a supermodel, I wouldn't! As long as you are aware of the risk of rejection, it's no problem.

 

There is also an element of challenge to be mindful of. If he has your number, it's better to wait for him to ask you... because if he is asking, he's ready.... plus, playing hard to get doubles interest.

 

If Scarlett Johansson asked a bachelor out, would he turn her down?! I'll bet over a million bachelors out there would not turn her down. Since you are a beautiful woman, you are in the league. Do you smell the coffee?! It's a coffee date.

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I think if a guy WANTS a girl he should expect to ask her out.

 

However I don't think theres anything wrong with a girl asking a guy out.

 

Only an insecure guy would have an issue with that IMHO (considering he would have asked the same girl out himself).

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