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Is this a rejection?


UntitledNotepad

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UntitledNotepad

So this girl expressed an interest in me, she asked for my number, we texted for two weeks, then i finally asked her out. She said yes and seemed very happy, not just "yeah ok" but "yes of course i was hoping youd ask me!". The first date was good, i was a bit awkward because she was so out of my league, but she seemed interested, asked a lot of questions, we held conversation for 1.5 hours, and I felt good about it. then i asked if she wanted to get lunch sometime, and she said yes. well yesterday i asked how her day is going, and it just said "Seen". No reply....

 

We still have a second date planned, but she ignored a message....could she be losing interest? could it be just be a mistake that she forgot to reply? 'oh ill reply to that in a few minutes' :forgets:

 

I don't want to say "Why didnt you reply to my message?" cuz that would be a bit desperate/creepy...but i dont want her to think i don't care?

 

What do you guys think?!?!? Do we have a shot still? Is she trying to reject me, and should I cancel our second date?

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fitnessfan365

1) Being a woman's texting buddy actually lowers attraction. So beating around the bush that long before making a date is a rookie mistake.

 

2) Asking a woman to "lunch" is never a good idea either. Lunch hours are designed to be shorter and gives a woman less time to spend with you. Dates at night after a woman is off work can be extended, open for "night caps" etc.. Romance happens at night.

 

BTW - You actually don't have a second date planned. You asked her if she wants to get lunch "sometime". When making plans with a woman you have to be direct and specific. So at this point, I'd just leave the ball in her court. If she contacts you, cut to the chase and make definite plans. Preferably something at night instead of lunch.

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UntitledNotepad

next date is when school ends in around 2 weeks (no specific time, we just agreed that it would be "after school finishes"), although im going to see her tomorrow in person...

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Here, let me put it a different way. Which is the better body of information from which to made a decision:

 

1. A text message to which she didn't respond

 

2. The conversation and body language of a second date

 

Stay on target. Let her respond to your text message (or not). Send her a confirmation text message +1 day from your second date. Not a "hey are we still on" but a "will see you at 7pm tomorrow at [where ever you are meeting]. Need any directions? Looking for forward to seeing you again" or something of that ilk. If she backs out, move on. If not, see what happens.

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So this girl expressed an interest in me, she asked for my number, we texted for two weeks, then i finally asked her out. She said yes and seemed very happy, not just "yeah ok" but "yes of course i was hoping youd ask me!". The first date was good, i was a bit awkward because she was so out of my league, but she seemed interested, asked a lot of questions, we held conversation for 1.5 hours, and I felt good about it. then i asked if she wanted to get lunch sometime, and she said yes. well yesterday i asked how her day is going, and it just said "Seen". No reply....

 

We still have a second date planned, but she ignored a message....could she be losing interest? could it be just be a mistake that she forgot to reply? 'oh ill reply to that in a few minutes' :forgets:

 

I don't want to say "Why didnt you reply to my message?" cuz that would be a bit desperate/creepy...but i dont want her to think i don't care?

 

What do you guys think?!?!? Do we have a shot still? Is she trying to reject me, and should I cancel our second date?

 

You asked her to get some lunch sometime and she said yes -- why didn't you present a specific date and time when you texted her next instead of how is your day going? If a man asked me for another date and wasn't specific about it and then texted something else instead of specifics, i'd be questioning his seriousness about a second date. You should have set up the next date at the end of the first date with specifics. How can you cancel a second date if one wasn't set up?

 

All that being said, the first date went well and she said yes to another. Go by that signal now and not the possibility that she missed or ignored a text. Call her and set up the next date.

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Forget about the ignored text. You will see her anyway, gauge her body language and facial expressions when you see her.

 

 

Next time you feel like sending a text personalise it instead of saying 'how was your day?'

 

 

Think about what you have talked about instead or give her a laugh.

 

 

I like sarcastic, intelligent, observational humour.

If I was on a date and it was raining my hair would likely get wet and start to frizz and lose it's curls. I would also take the mick out of myself over it.

 

 

If I got a text a couple of days later saying

'Sh*t! It's just started raining! Stay inside..do NOT go outside! >>>>runs>>>> :) x'

from my date I would laugh and reply for sure.

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toscaroscura
Here, let me put it a different way. Which is the better body of information from which to made a decision:

 

1. A text message to which she didn't respond

 

2. The conversation and body language of a second date

 

Stay on target. Let her respond to your text message (or not). Send her a confirmation text message +1 day from your second date. Not a "hey are we still on" but a "will see you at 7pm tomorrow at [where ever you are meeting]. Need any directions? Looking for forward to seeing you again" or something of that ilk. If she backs out, move on. If not, see what happens.

 

Great advice! One of my major dating pet peeves is when we have firm plans, but the day of he texts me like, "so uhhh are we still on?" Indicates wishy-washy-ness, lack of confidence, possible commitment issues, etc.

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OP, couple things to learn from

 

1) Never wait 2 weeks to ask her out. Get her number, send a few quick witty messages, and ask her out

 

2) Don't treat her as if you're out of her league. Treat her as if SHE is out of YOUR league.

 

3) Don't plan lunch dates unless you want a platonic vibe. 6-7PM or later.

 

4) Don't be needy and whine about her not messaging you back right away. Give her 24 hours.

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Wait another week and then when it's a week away from when school finishes CALL her not this ridiculous text crap, and set up a firm date.

 

Meanwhile spend your time and effort on things other than wondering about her, you've only had one date she's not worth all the space you're giving her in your head at this moment.

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UntitledNotepad

So she did finally reply....

 

I saw her today and idk....it was like half and half. At first she saw me and didn't really smile, but then we talked a bit and she did smile a lot, then like she ignored me a little, then she talked to me a bit, then i set a time and date verbally and she agreed. so wtf?

 

is it possible for a girl to date someone she doesn't like? is it possible that she just was busy? well i know she was really busy, but could that be an explanation for her partial coldness?

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She's either being coy and playing hard to get, which is immature, or she's not that into you. Either way, I'd just let it play out, but don't be surprised if something comes up at the last minute and she cancels. She sounds indecisive and if she can't figure out what she wants, you certainly won't be able to.

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UntitledNotepad

i shouldnt say this...but could she just be on her period? like she was really talkative, interested, and interesting last week, but suddenly she went into bitch mode, yet not 100% bitch mode just a little bit.....

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i shouldnt say this...but could she just be on her period? like she was really talkative, interested, and interesting last week, but suddenly she went into bitch mode, yet not 100% bitch mode just a little bit.....

 

Really?

 

And the "Clueless About Women"award goes to...:rolleyes:

 

OP I'd say she's probably on the fence about you and is giving you a second chance/date. She seems fairly ambivalent. This second date will make it or break it. But also would not be completely shocked if she canceled last minute.

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Chill out dude, you have a date.

 

Sometimes women act weird if they are nervous around you, because they like you too much and are afraid of doing something dumb... just like you :laugh:

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