redwing7 Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Hello everyone. I get a text from my girlfriend saying that she's depressed for "no reason" so I invited her to go on a walk to clear her mind. She texts back saying that she just wants to be alone. I told her I understand and that I'm here for her if she wants to talk. She texts back saying that she wants to go away. I ask her if she means a vacation and why she wants to go and she says she doesn't know. Is she trying to get at something or is she just really depressed? I have no idea what to say back to her. Any advice would be much appreciated. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur de cactus Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Keep texting her, ask her if she wants you to go over, It will be a way to check on her. Call her so you can haer how she sounds. Make a plan for tomorrow and see is she accepts. If she continues saying she wants to go away, ask her plan, where she wants to go, when, keep the conversation on to see how she responds. Ask her when she started to feel that way. Does she has history of depression? Link to post Share on other sites
leafguy Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Let her come to you when she is ready. You have let her know she is there for you and by the sounds of it she just needs sometime to figure somethings out. Give her some space. Worst thing you can do is push. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Fleur de cactus Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Also, since she is your girlfriend and if you have time,you can go there even if she said no. Depression is a not good thing. Just tell her I am coming to see you, and see what happened. I think she text you because she needs help, someone to talk too. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
Author redwing7 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 Keep texting her, ask her if she wants you to go over, It will be a way to check on her. Call her so you can haer how she sounds. Make a plan for tomorrow and see is she accepts. If she continues saying she wants to go away, ask her plan, where she wants to go, when, keep the conversation on to see how she responds. Ask her when she started to feel that way. Does she has history of depression? She won't answer and says she wants to be alone. We already made plans for tomorrow a few days ago but I haven't mentioned them yet. I keep asking her questions about going away all she says is "I don't know." She has depression on occasion. The thing is, she usually wants me to come over and cheer her up but it's not the case this time.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redwing7 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 Let her come to you when she is ready. You have let her know she is there for you and by the sounds of it she just needs sometime to figure somethings out. Give her some space. Worst thing you can do is push. Exactly my thought. I'm just not sure what to say because she's still texting me. She said she's been feeling like this for months. I'm traveling halfway across the world for 4 months in 3 weeks to accomplish one of my dreams I've had since a kid. I'm afraid this might have something to do with her wanting to go away.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redwing7 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 Also, since she is your girlfriend and if you have time,you can go there even if she said no. Depression is a not good thing. Just tell her I am coming to see you, and see what happened. I think she text you because she needs help, someone to talk too. Good luck Thanks for the tips. The thing is, I think I've been coming off as kinda pushy lately and don't want to push her too far away.. Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 give it a few days, then call, but if she still wants to be alone, there is not much you can do, short of asking her why, which means saying yes ok to her i think she might be trying to cure herself, it might work out, but sending to a doc is going to look insulting, her family might need to be contacted, does her voice sound depressed? perhaps they are worried too Link to post Share on other sites
leafguy Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Respond if she texts...maybe it it is just dawning on her that in 3 weeks you are gone for quite a while. It's one thing to be supportive that you go, but it is also likely hit her like a ton of bricks, especially if you have been together a while. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redwing7 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 give it a few days, then call, but if she still wants to be alone, there is not much you can do, short of asking her why, which means saying yes ok to her i think she might be trying to cure herself, it might work out, but sending to a doc is going to look insulting, her family might need to be contacted, does her voice sound depressed? perhaps they are worried too She won't pick up her phone so I'm not sure. The thing I don't get is, I took her out for an absolutely amazing day yesterday and we had a blast.. Now she's feeling like this. I asked her what she wants to change about where she is now and she said she doesn't know and she doesn't care.. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redwing7 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 Respond if she texts...maybe it it is just dawning on her that in 3 weeks you are gone for quite a while. It's one thing to be supportive that you go, but it is also likely hit her like a ton of bricks, especially if you have been together a while. I had that thought. She supports me, but I can tell she's feeling down because of it. Especially as we've gotten closer. I just want to be able to enjoy the remaining 3 weeks I have with her instead of having her depressed the whole time.. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
darkmoon Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 (edited) She won't pick up her phone so I'm not sure. The thing I don't get is, I took her out for an absolutely amazing day yesterday and we had a blast.. Now she's feeling like this. I asked her what she wants to change about where she is now and she said she doesn't know and she doesn't care.. clinical depression, unlike feeling standard depression, is a big subject, i think even reading about it on-line might give you insights, clinical depression is a chemical flaw, it is not so easy to cure no matter how happy you made her, but of course keep on taking her out i have known depressives just shut themselves away, until such time as they feel better, but read up all you can on-line, off-line the first question a doctor would ask, is when the depression started and why, perhaps one day she will tell you, ppl even get embarrassed i guess, idk, she might not want to talk about it at all, too painful, but sorted out and well and truly in her past hope that helps, but yes, you want to enjoy life too Edited April 19, 2015 by darkmoon Link to post Share on other sites
Author redwing7 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 clinical depression, unlike feeling standard depression, is a big subject, i think even reading about it on-line might give you insights, clinical depression is a chemical flaw, it is not so easy to cure no matter how happy you made her, but of course keep on taking her out i have known depressives just shut themselves away, until such time as they feel better, but read up all you can on-line, off-line the first question a doctor would ask, is when the depression started and why, perhaps one day she will tell you, ppl even get embarrassed i guess, idk, she might not want to talk about it at all, too painful, but sorted out and well and truly in her past hope that helps, but yes, you want to enjoy life too Thank you for the advice. I believe I want to spend the rest of my life with her but don't know exactly what to do with the depression taking its toll on her. I've tried my hardest to make her feel like the most special girl in the world so it's extremely frustrating. Ahhhhhhhhh. Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Leave her alone for 24 hours. Sometimes people really do need space. That said, if she has a serious issue with depression... I hate to say this but, some people's issues make them not a good catch. Link to post Share on other sites
beach Posted April 19, 2015 Share Posted April 19, 2015 Does she see a dr for her depression? She needs professional help. She shouldn't depend on you to fix this for her. Maybe encourage her to get help. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redwing7 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 Does she see a dr for her depression? She needs professional help. She shouldn't depend on you to fix this for her. Maybe encourage her to get help. She does not see a Dr for her depression, she's had loved ones argue against the idea. Link to post Share on other sites
Author redwing7 Posted April 19, 2015 Author Share Posted April 19, 2015 Leave her alone for 24 hours. Sometimes people really do need space. That said, if she has a serious issue with depression... I hate to say this but, some people's issues make them not a good catch. I know she told her old best friend she needed to be left alone one day and that started a huge fight that ultimately resulted in the end of their friendship. I want to be with her regardless of the depression, I just think she needs to work on herself some and eventually overcome the depression. Link to post Share on other sites
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