JohnsonBaby Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 (edited) I ve been dating this guy for 2 months and it all started with a strong chemistry and an "I love you " from him after 10 days of knowing each other . We call each other and text everyday . He seems to be quite emotionally immature ,he s very moody and controlling , constantly asks why I m online on phone apps and is quick to switch mood when something doesn't go his way even threaten me not to ever "leave him ",to the point I m scared of saying stuff to him or even use sarcasm as he doesn't react well to it . He s also very into his appearance ,loves attention and constantly asks for my opinion on Everything ,which kinda worries me .He s 30 not 16. On a positive note he can be very affectionate and loving ,introduced me to all his family and seems besotted with me when he doesn't act moody that is.He says I m amazing and showers me with compliments all the time Do you guys think he has a NPD or he s just insecure? Edited April 18, 2015 by JohnsonBaby Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Lots of red flags there, but as for narcissism who can say without the sayso of a psychiatrist. Narcissism is a spectrum disorder, we all have some narcissistic traits. BUT it appears your relationship is far from normal. He has now got you walking on eggshells and that is a sign of emotional abuse. You do not need to give him a specific label, he sounds toxic, stop trying to diagnose him and get yourself out of there. I would extricate yourself while you still can. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
losangelena Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 FWIW, a narcissist can be insecure. It's not usually an either/or proposition. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 He said he loved you after only 10 days of dating, so one thing we know about him is he's in a hurry to lock someone down. We also know that he's not in love with you because he doesn't know you yet. So he's either lying about loving you just to lock you down or he is in love with love and hopes you are the ideal girl in his head, and his controlling is him trying to make you fit into that script. He's insecure. That's who does this. He's worried about his appearance so much because he's insecure. He thinks if he doesn't control a woman right away and make it hard for them to leave, they'll leave. So he's going to put his thumb on you and keep it there and he's going to be possessive and paranoid and accuse you of cheating every time you're out of his sight. That's what's coming. He's not a good choice for anyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Who cares just get out of this now. This guy is abusive. Been there done that. Typical cycle goes like this....loving and attentive more that anyone has given you, but then starts to monitor your whereabouts, who you contact, what guys work with you, starts to fret over you going out. Then starts with the passive/aggressive behavior and placing blame on you, guilting you, manipulating your words, then they would apologize, be all wonderful again....then a week later the abuse starts all over again. Don't try to fix him, it won't happen, he need behavior therapy with a professional. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
smackie9 Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 My vote is yes he has a narcissistic personality. https://www.understandingnarcissists.com/3-signs-of-a-narcissist.html 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Moody people are not the catch of the day. To be good relationship material, they have to have a good attitude. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Author JohnsonBaby Posted April 18, 2015 Author Share Posted April 18, 2015 He said he loved you after only 10 days of dating, so one thing we know about him is he's in a hurry to lock someone down. We also know that he's not in love with you because he doesn't know you yet. So he's either lying about loving you just to lock you down or he is in love with love and hopes you are the ideal girl in his head, and his controlling is him trying to make you fit into that script. He's insecure. That's who does this. He's worried about his appearance so much because he's insecure. He thinks if he doesn't control a woman right away and make it hard for them to leave, they'll leave. So he's going to put his thumb on you and keep it there and he's going to be possessive and paranoid and accuse you of cheating every time you're out of his sight. That's what's coming. He's not a good choice for anyone. This is pretty spot on!he s very jealous and accused me of talking to men just because I was online on a chat app ,my first thought was "projection " ,on a closer look however I can definetly see insecurity, emotional abuse and control creeping in after an initial intense charming phase. He s still nice most of the time but when he gets in a mood he can be pretty cold . I like the "good " part of him but I m very wary of his shifty personality .. He often asks me how long he has to wait before I ll say "I love u" Link to post Share on other sites
preraph Posted April 18, 2015 Share Posted April 18, 2015 Honestly, you need to just leave him. The longer you stay, the more invested he will be and the harder it will be to get rid of him. Please know that there can be no good outcome for this. Love won't fix him. It will make him even more desperate. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts