Jump to content

He's been with hookers?


EveAFlame

Recommended Posts

I FINALLY met a really sweet, smart funny guy and he likes me! The downside is he has admitted to being with prostitutes, hookers, escorts WHATEVER a time or 10 in the past. He's also a strip club aficionado.

 

I'm bummed. Like, really really bummed because I like him but...it just makes my skin crawl. He's been around. I have not.

 

Is there a way I can reconcile myself to his past? We've kissed a few times and I can feel my attraction starting to slip. :(

Link to post
Share on other sites
I FINALLY met a really sweet, smart funny guy and he likes me! The downside is he has admitted to being with prostitutes, hookers, escorts WHATEVER a time or 10 in the past. He's also a strip club aficionado.

 

I'm bummed. Like, really really bummed because I like him but...it just makes my skin crawl. He's been around. I have not.

 

Is there a way I can reconcile myself to his past? We've kissed a few times and I can feel my attraction starting to slip. :(

 

Don't waste your time. He already has a lowered opinion of women, and treats them like objects of pleasure. You can't fix him.....move on.

  • Like 15
Link to post
Share on other sites

The second thing he did wrong was blab to her like she was his counselor.

  • Like 18
Link to post
Share on other sites

Yeah, that's disgusting. He should've found some other loose woman and gone through all the indirect motions and emotional connections that you necessitate. What a sleaze bag.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

If your attraction is slipping already, it's not going to get any better. Sorry this one turned out to be a dud.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites

I say move on. It will be on your mind the whole relationship, it's not something easy to accept or get accustom to.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
I FINALLY met a really sweet, smart funny guy and he likes me! The downside is he has admitted to being with prostitutes, hookers, escorts WHATEVER a time or 10 in the past. He's also a strip club aficionado.

 

I'm bummed. Like, really really bummed because I like him but...it just makes my skin crawl. He's been around. I have not.

 

Is there a way I can reconcile myself to his past? We've kissed a few times and I can feel my attraction starting to slip. :(

 

 

 

I would want more information. We all make mistakes.

 

And I give major points for honesty. Complete losers would have lied.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
Fleur de cactus

What do you mean by "His past"? Did he tell you that he will no longer hook up with prostitutes, did he tell you that he has stopped. I dont think he can change but if you are one of those girls, if you do not mind, continue the relationship but if you want to commitment or monogamous, he is not the right person.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author

No I'm not a virgin, but I don't sleep around indiscriminately.

 

I am very thankful for his honesty and letting me make the choice. He just seems so nice and funny and genuine. Not at ALL the kind of guy I imagined would frequent strip clubs or hookers.

 

He asked if it changed my opinion of him and I said of course not! But it did. Blecch.

  • Like 1
Link to post
Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly
No I'm not a virgin, but I don't sleep around indiscriminately.

 

I am very thankful for his honesty and letting me make the choice. He just seems so nice and funny and genuine. Not at ALL the kind of guy I imagined would frequent strip clubs or hookers.

 

He asked if it changed my opinion of him and I said of course not! But it did. Blecch.

 

Why did you tell him this?

 

Be honest and tell him that you are not comfortable with this. Thank him for his honest and wish him luck. If you're not ok with it, that's not going to somehow change. Your discomfort with his past will always be there.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
DrReplyInRhymes

Such a negative vibe from those who show so much disgust,

However, everyone has a past, in that much you can trust.

Your judgement is your own, you can choose whatever you feel is right,

Personally, I feel it's kind of snobby to judge him in this light.

 

You have no idea how many women sleep for men for personal gain

Money being only one...power, security, leverage, or even fame.

However, for some it's definitely a dealbreaker out of a few,

There's also male escorts you know, you may have already unknowingly slept with one too.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites

Prostitutes are nasty. :sick: I don't even like regular women who have slept with too many. :sick:

 

I completely understand how you feel.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
  • Author
Why did you tell him this?

 

Be honest and tell him that you are not comfortable with this. Thank him for his honest and wish him luck. If you're not ok with it, that's not going to somehow change. Your discomfort with his past will always be there.

I told him that because I didn't want to hurt his feelings. I have a hard time saying no or being harsh. He hasn't had many relationships and he's so enthusiastic to be dating me. I assumed his number was as low as mine until he told me.

Link to post
Share on other sites
What do you mean by "His past"? Did he tell you that he will no longer hook up with prostitutes, did he tell you that he has stopped. I dont think he can change but if you are one of those girls, if you do not mind, continue the relationship but if you want to commitment or monogamous, he is not the right person.

can you say for sure though. Just because a guy has used a hooker/s does not mean he is incapable of ever being in a dedicated relationship. How is this different from man or woman who shagged dozens of women at nite clubs or wherever, and really didn't care anything about the other person after they left. What happened to the 'past is the past' like with promiscuous women.

  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
PrettyEmily77
I FINALLY met a really sweet, smart funny guy and he likes me! The downside is he has admitted to being with prostitutes, hookers, escorts WHATEVER a time or 10 in the past. He's also a strip club aficionado.

 

I'm bummed. Like, really really bummed because I like him but...it just makes my skin crawl. He's been around. I have not.

 

Is there a way I can reconcile myself to his past? We've kissed a few times and I can feel my attraction starting to slip. :(

 

Irrespective of anything else, I'd move on now on the basis of the bolded. It won't get better. Don't force yourself.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Irrespective of anything else, I'd move on now on the basis of the bolded. It won't get better. Don't force yourself.

Regardless of what people here might say over this, people have their own deal breakers that many others will argue against but when it comes to the bolded comments I think she she should leave too. If it happens too many times that prospects do a u-turn in future for the guy I'm sure he will learn to be less divulging at some point.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites
Ninjainpajamas
Don't waste your time. He already has a lowered opinion of women, and treats them like objects of pleasure. You can't fix him.....move on.

 

As if the men in OLD or real life aren't doing the same thing.

 

Often times the only difference from a man paying and not paying for sex is his pride, and other guys look at the "game" or taking women out on dates as the fee.

  • Like 7
Link to post
Share on other sites
lollipopspot
How is this different from man or woman who shagged dozens of women at nite clubs or wherever, and really didn't care anything about the other person after they left.

 

Difference is the nightclub woman is not being pimped or sleeping with the guy out of financial desperation. She's sharing her body because she wants to. Prostitutes generally have pretty terrible stories and aren't getting sexual pleasure from being F'ed by random guys.

  • Like 6
Link to post
Share on other sites
Difference is the nightclub woman is not being pimped or sleeping with the guy out of financial desperation. She's sharing her body because she wants to. Prostitutes generally have pretty terrible stories and aren't getting sexual pleasure from being F'ed by random guys.

 

Not all women have pimps, especially where its legal or at upscale operations.ie like those that cater for the wall street types. At the bottom end of the market with street walkers yes what you say is true. Many as per a survey in my country do it to make life easier not merely to put food on the table. Yes random guys walk in the door at brothels and the woman can put on a sour face so maybe he wont choose her and also random guys hookup with girls in nite clubs who they choose to sleep with way more often than not under the influence and without knowing anything about the guy and whether he will view her as just another cumdumpster or be appreciative of the experience.

  • Like 2
Link to post
Share on other sites

No, there is no way you can be together because this irks you and it's killing your desire for him. It's got nothing to do with the rights or wrongs and everything to do with the fact that it bothers you. It's unlikely you will get over that.

Edited by Buddhist
  • Like 5
Link to post
Share on other sites
As if the men in OLD or real life aren't doing the same thing.

 

Often times the only difference from a man paying and not paying for sex is his pride, and other guys look at the "game" or taking women out on dates as the fee.

True but pride is very important. Self respect stops you doing lots of things in life and that's a good thing.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
SycamoreCircle

I disagree with the harsh judgment of him. Prostitutes and strippers are not strictly women with low self-esteem who can imagine no other life for themselves.

 

Men who visit prostitutes are not strictly demoralized sleazebags. If that were true, then virtually the entire canon of French literature could be attributed to demoralized sleazebags.

 

You might do well to consider prostitution and stripping in the same terms as Christianity. The teachings of Christ become an adulterated and abusive thing when put in the environs of The Church. Sexual services and enjoyment of the female body become an adulterated and abusive thing when put in the environs of massage parlors and strip clubs.

  • Like 4
Link to post
Share on other sites
Not all women have pimps, especially where its legal or at upscale operations.ie like those that cater for the wall street types. At the bottom end of the market with street walkers yes what you say is true.

 

Unfortunately countries like Germany where prostitution is legalised, the women are still pimped and trafficked with legalised brothels being mainly staffed by women who fled poverty in Eastern Europe or who have been trafficked, the law doesn't really protect them. They are employed on a room rental basis, which means they have to sleep with 6 men a night to break even, these brothels are highly profitable for those who own them, are "high class", but the women are not treated well.

  • Like 3
Link to post
Share on other sites
×
×
  • Create New...