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Anxiety about relationship with BF


jennybrookes

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jennybrookes

I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months and love him a lot, but sometimes feel he doesn't feel the same. The other day he was drunk and said 'I don't offer him anything', and that 'other girlfriends in the past have never made him feel like that before'. He has said many things like this to me in the past. I try my best, but feel sometimes he loses interest in me, so I only make as much effort as he does. I feel like he is not over his ex GF and is just with me to replace what he had with her, or because he is lonely and wants a relationship. One time he said I have 'no character, no conversation'. I just wonder why on earth he would be with someone he feels that way about. He isn't as affectionate as he once was, he seems preoccupied most of the time. Mostly the only time he is affectionate is when we have sex. Half the time if I am with him he is on his phone or laptop and I don't even exist to him. I also once caught him looking at his ex-GF's instagram profile, and he has recently been liking this girls photos constantly whenever she uploads, since he has been with me, even though that is just a silly little thing it just adds to my paranoia. I don't feel relaxed in this relationship, but I don't know whether it's him or whether I would be like this regardless of who I was with.

 

I get really paranoid thoughts about him cheating on me, or not wanting to be with me. Sometimes he doesn't seem that bothered about me and doesn't make as much effort with me, but when I talk to him about it he says I'm being stupid. I really love him and can't face not being with him, I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't tell what is going on in his head. He has said nice things to me in the past about how he wants to be with me forever and tells me to never leave him. I really don't know how to feel about this. I get really bad paranoid thoughts and I'm not sure whether to carry on with this. I feel like I have nothing concrete to break up with him over though. Just paranoid thoughts. I don't know whether it is just in my head or not. I don't know where this is going. Sorry it is kind of hard to explain.

Edited by jennybrookes
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Why are you still with him when he is so rude to you and makes you feel bad?

 

What are you getting out of the relationship?

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ExpatInItaly

I don't think you're being paranoid. He sounds like a jerk, to be honest. And he doesn't sound very into you. Why are you with him?

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You are three months into a relationship that makes you feel bad because he appears disinterested in you, or puts you down, apart from when you have sex.

Whether he hasn't got over his exgf or he is attracted to someone else or is just a douche bag, or he only likes the sex, it doesn't matter.

 

The fact is, he is just not into you, but he likes the regular sex.

Dump him and go find a better man, one more suited to you.

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I have been with my boyfriend for 3 months and love him a lot, but sometimes feel he doesn't feel the same. The other day he was drunk and said 'I don't offer him anything', and that 'other girlfriends in the past have never made him feel like that before'. He has said many things like this to me in the past. I try my best, but feel sometimes he loses interest in me, so I only make as much effort as he does. I feel like he is not over his ex GF and is just with me to replace what he had with her, or because he is lonely and wants a relationship. One time he said I have 'no character, no conversation'. I just wonder why on earth he would be with someone he feels that way about. He isn't as affectionate as he once was, he seems preoccupied most of the time. Mostly the only time he is affectionate is when we have sex. Half the time if I am with him he is on his phone or laptop and I don't even exist to him. I also once caught him looking at his ex-GF's instagram profile, and he has recently been liking this girls photos constantly whenever she uploads, since he has been with me, even though that is just a silly little thing it just adds to my paranoia. I don't feel relaxed in this relationship, but I don't know whether it's him or whether I would be like this regardless of who I was with.

 

I get really paranoid thoughts about him cheating on me, or not wanting to be with me. Sometimes he doesn't seem that bothered about me and doesn't make as much effort with me, but when I talk to him about it he says I'm being stupid. I really love him and can't face not being with him, I don't know what to do. I feel like I can't tell what is going on in his head. He has said nice things to me in the past about how he wants to be with me forever and tells me to never leave him. I really don't know how to feel about this. I get really bad paranoid thoughts and I'm not sure whether to carry on with this. I feel like I have nothing concrete to break up with him over though. Just paranoid thoughts. I don't know whether it is just in my head or not. I don't know where this is going. Sorry it is kind of hard to explain.

 

You have over invested in this "relationship" and too quickly. This is not a boyfriend/girlfriend relationship.

 

"I feel like I have nothing concrete to break up with him over though"??????? Here's 10 concrete reasons to break up. . . .

 

9) he was drunk and said 'I don't offer him anything',

8) I feel like he is not over his ex GF

7) just with me to replace

6) I just wonder why on earth he would be with someone he feels that

way about

5) Half the time if I am with him he is on his phone or laptop and I don't

even exist to him.

4) caught him looking at his ex-GF's instagram profile

3) he seems preoccupied most of the time.

2) he says I'm being stupid

 

And the #1 reason you should break up with him is YOU ARE NOT HAPPY.

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Usually when people are in a drunken state they speak their soul... If he says he doesn't like you as much as previous GFs, believe me - he doesn't. He probably just keeps you for Sex and to not feel alone, but you aren't the one for him.

 

Get out of that relationship quick!

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