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Genuine NICE guy who tested the A-HOLE theory


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Yeah, that's me.

 

Born and raised by an amazing mom, an equally awesome dad, two great sisters and a fantastic grandmother. All of them taught me to respect myself, be good to myself and treat women with the same respect, politeness and goodness that I would want to be treated with.

 

I am a nice guy with a spine and a personality. Definitely not afraid to speak my mind and let my voice be heard when the time calls for it.

 

I decided to test the theory of women going for A-HOLE guys. The aloofy, douchey, jerk types who treat women like garbage whether it mentally or physically.

 

I found my results shocking but not all that surprising.

 

#1. My success rate with women increased significantly.

 

#2. Women who I didn't care about started to care about me more.

 

#3. Women became a lot more interested in what I had to offer them.

 

#4. Women seemed to be more turned on by the nasty attitude I exuded to them.

 

Again, I was disturbed but not surprised considering how "internet" focused our society is and how a lot of women covet what the other woman has.

After discovering this I decided to take a step back from the world of women and dating to focus on making myself a better man and taking care of the family I have. Modern dating is filled with a tremendous amount of BS that isn't worth it.

 

I reminded myself that I am a good guy who likes to be nice to people and treat them with respect. There's nothing wrong with that. If the A-HOLE is what women want, I won't waste my time trying to be someone that I'm really not.

 

I have faith that I'll be able to share my life with a good woman who's born and raised with the same principles and values that I have. I'm just not wasting my time wading through the majority of the species who praise, live and die for the A-HOLE guys.

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...

I reminded myself that I am a good guy who likes to be nice to people and treat them with respect. There's nothing wrong with that. If the A-HOLE is what women want, I won't waste my time trying to be someone that I'm really not.

 

I have faith that I'll be able to share my life with a good woman who's born and raised with the same principles and values that I have. I'm just not wasting my time wading through the majority of the species who praise, live and die for the A-HOLE guys.

 

I’ve learned here that some men want quantity and choice more than The One, so I’m not making assumptions about your goals (or anyone’s any more).

 

One of the risks of faking, posturing and game-playing is that the terrific woman who is not tantalized by the hard-to-get A-Hole guy is going to write you off. What does one say to her? "Oh, no, I'm really a respectful, sincere, warm guy who's only been faking being a jerk... because..." What? I like the attention? I get laid more? I dunno. These sound like dangerous waters to me.

 

But, again, it comes down to what your goals are.

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Born and raised by an amazing mom, an equally awesome dad, two great sisters and a fantastic grandmother.

hmm, sounds like a fine family

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This kind of thing doesn't get you a quality woman. It might get you a bunch of drama addicts with more issues than a news stand but it won't get you a good woman.

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I decided to test the theory of women going for A-HOLE guys. The aloofy, douchey, jerk types who treat women like garbage whether it mentally or physically.

 

I found my results shocking but not all that surprising.

 

#1. My success rate with women increased significantly.

 

#2. Women who I didn't care about started to care about me more.

 

#3. Women became a lot more interested in what I had to offer them.

 

#4. Women seemed to be more turned on by the nasty attitude I exuded to them.

 

What women are you targeting? At clubs?

 

The fact is, many women in their teens and early 20s are very insecure and don't yet know who they are. When they see a guy who seems strong and outspoken, they pay attention to him. When they see a guy who seems broken, they try to win him, to prove that they are special and worthy and able to fix him. It's stupid, but it is common.

 

Meanwhile, your nice-girl counterparts are NOT the girls at the front of the crowd wiggling and giggling to the A-HOLE guys.

 

They are the girls in the background shaking their heads at all of you.

 

The only way to win these girls is to approach them, make a connection with them, and ask them out. They aren't going to flock to you, nice or A-HOLE.

 

Depends on what you want. If you are looking to bed as many girls as possible, sure. Be the A-HOLE. Prey on the weak and insecure and desperate.

 

But if you are looking for a nice normal girl, for a nice normal relationship, you need to be a nice normal guy. A nice normal guy with the cajones to initiate.

 

Modern dating is filled with a tremendous amount of BS that isn't worth it.

 

It's worth it. But it definitely takes patience and willingness to deal with a huge amount of BS.

 

I reminded myself that I am a good guy who likes to be nice to people and treat them with respect. There's nothing wrong with that. If the A-HOLE is what women want, I won't waste my time trying to be someone that I'm really not.

 

Even if you were right, and 99% of women want A-HOLEs (which isn't true, but still), there would still be that 1% of good women looking for good men. Look past the cleavage and booty dancing and hair tossing to the girls who are focused on college and careers and friends.

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OP, I don't think the problem is that you're too nice, you probably just aren't assertive/confident enough. Yes the A-Hole has some of these traits, but you can be a nice guy and be attractive to women as well.

 

 

Just don't be the "nice guy" that we all know.

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Strength in Healing

Don't get discouraged by the fools criticizing you or the women.

 

Mean is alpha. Like it or not. Too bad. That's why women flock to it. Evolutionary psychology. Look up the dark triad.

 

Nice guys are pathetic. Plenty of girls want them but after many months of the nice guys passive aggressiveness and neediness, they all get ditched or cheated on and for good reason.

 

 

A nice guy is a creation stemming from believing that by being nice your needs will be met. It's a fallacy, not real, and pathetic really.

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A genuine nice guy doesn't go playing games and testing theories on woman IMO.

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What women are you targeting? At clubs?

 

The fact is, many women in their teens and early 20s are very insecure and don't yet know who they are. When they see a guy who seems strong and outspoken, they pay attention to him. When they see a guy who seems broken, they try to win him, to prove that they are special and worthy and able to fix him. It's stupid, but it is common.

 

Meanwhile, your nice-girl counterparts are NOT the girls at the front of the crowd wiggling and giggling to the A-HOLE guys.

 

They are the girls in the background shaking their heads at all of you.

 

The only way to win these girls is to approach them, make a connection with them, and ask them out. They aren't going to flock to you, nice or A-HOLE.

 

Depends on what you want. If you are looking to bed as many girls as possible, sure. Be the A-HOLE. Prey on the weak and insecure and desperate.

 

But if you are looking for a nice normal girl, for a nice normal relationship, you need to be a nice normal guy. A nice normal guy with the cajones to initiate.

 

 

 

It's worth it. But it definitely takes patience and willingness to deal with a huge amount of BS.

 

 

 

Even if you were right, and 99% of women want A-HOLEs (which isn't true, but still), there would still be that 1% of good women looking for good men. Look past the cleavage and booty dancing and hair tossing to the girls who are focused on college and careers and friends.

a lot of the above is correct but you still have factor in age. younger women love to be treated bad, older women not so much.

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So when you say "success rate", what do you mean?

 

Did you go out on dates with these women and did anything develop from that?

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many months of the nice guys passive aggressiveness and neediness, they all get ditched or cheated on and for good reason.

 

Just would like to point out that any guy who's habitually passive aggressive and needy isn't anything I would term nice. I call that immature. I also call alpha bro-legend immaturity as well. Because neither of those two extremes have anything to do with real self confidence, personal responsibility or actually treating others with respect. It's all lip service to respect while harbouring often quite negative thoughts about the opposite sex.

 

Here's what I typically see online.

 

Men: Nice guy = seemingly polite man who uses manipulation and whining to get his way. When he doesn't get his way he generally gets abusive, frustrated and lashes out blaming others for his problems.

 

Women: Nice guy = mature individual who isn't hopelessly insecure or manipulative but is up for a relationship based on adult concepts of taking personal responsibility and relating in an honest manner. Negotiates rather than demands when things are not as they like them to be.

 

Incidentally, this thread and the OP is no exception to the above.

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fitnessfan365

A-holes are more attractive INITIALLY because they're confident enough to be themselves and not try too hard for her approval, sexually aggressive enough to make her feel desired, and aloof/indifferent enough not to be needy. But the reason why true a-holes never last in the end is because after she realizes she can't change him, she finally dumps him.

 

However, a "nice guy" never even gets into the game because he is approval seeking by trying too hard, as well as being too afraid to - be himself, state his opinions, or make a move sexually. Now looking at it from a woman's POV, would you be attracted to a needy, ass kissing, wuss? Nope. The "nice guy" only improves with women when he stops making excuses and takes a hard look at his own behavior. The trick is being able to combine the attractive qualities of an a-hole with being a true gentleman that's loyal and that lives by his actions.

 

Now in regards to you social experiment, insecure and emotionally stunted women will always be easily manipulated. But good quality women that are ladies in the streets and freaks in the sheets with actual intelligence, see right through that crap. So feel free to keep landing women that you won't want to keep anyways by pretending to be something that you're not. But in the end, you won't catch a quality woman until you change your behavior and become a more confident Alpha male with a genuine respect for women.

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Incidentally, this thread and the OP is no exception to the above.

 

But he even said he was raised by a loving father and mother as well as grandma and two sisters! No way can he be anything but a nice guy!

 

Oh wait, this whole post he started really shows he is just a passive aggressive "nice guy".

 

OP, I mean seriously, do you really think only *******s do well with women?

 

I do fairly well with women and I'm not a complete *******....in my opinion. I have a few friends that are actual real "nice guy"s. Women swoon over them. It makes me sick! I'd try to be a real nice guy myself, but I just don't care and am too lazy when it comes to sincerly making everyone else feel good about themselves. "How was your day?" Don't tell me, I don't care.

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A-holes are more attractive INITIALLY because they're confident enough to be themselves and not try too hard for her approval, sexually aggressive enough to make her feel desired, and aloof/indifferent enough not to be needy. ...

 

I always thought that the rooster strut was borne of lack of confidence, trying very hard and remaining emotionally self-protective. Eh. Maybe that was a Sex in the City episode. :)

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Uh oh.... Looks like the author stumbled upon a couple of red pill truths.

 

There's a reason for the cliched 'cocky, confident, arsehole" gets the hot girl...

 

It works.

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This kind of thing doesn't get you a quality woman. It might get you a bunch of drama addicts with more issues than a news stand but it won't get you a good woman.

 

I beg to differ. The vast wealth of infield evidence posted on YouTube, men's forums, blogs etc confirms cocky arsehole game absolutely works. Yet women pretend otherwise.

 

Case in point: last Friday I finished work and had a few drinks with mates. After 5-6 beers I was half cut and feeling rather confident/happy- not pissed or slurring, but just socially alert and aware of the women around me. I noticed a beautiful redhead girl standing by the bar with 4 men around her (which turned out to be her workmates). She looked extremely bored. So I stormed over, looked her in the face (with all these beta chumps giving me the evil eyes), and said "you look really bored. Come with me for a drink" to which she giggles, said I was a "cheeky prick" before agreeing to it. She left all her orbiters behind who couldn't quite believe what had happened. I held her hand as we walked the stairs to the second bar, whilst glimpsing back at all the men still standing at the bar who had bought drinks for her. "Poor chumps" I thought.

 

Within 1 hour I physically escalated to touching, heavy petting etc all the while she playfully teased me about being a "cocky, cheeky arsehole" etc etc. Had her number and am taking her out to dinner Friday, confident that I'll get her back to mine after it.

 

The girl in question? An Oxford educated, 27 year old beautifully slim lawyer working in the heart of The city of London earning £100,000+ salary. And my point? Cocky, arsehole game works- it works so well for me now that the outcome is so predictable it's depressing, perhaps disheartening, is a better adjective. Why? Because every single woman (whether it be the Saturday night slut or the Oxford educated prude) responds to the same pickup routine and masculine triggers- push/pull, tease, neg, physically escalate, get the number etc. Game works. It's tested. It's proven.

 

The 'art of seduction' is not some random, Hollywood chic-flick, "what will be will be" nonsense, but rather a skill set that can be learnt and mastered by men to dramatically improve their chances with women. ALL women. And that gentlemen, is what women are afraid of, or should I say, don't like.

 

I'm keen to hear back from some of the female posters on here as to why it works so well on all ages, professional/unprofessional, slags/prudes, insecure girls, well rounded girls etc in other words- a vast breath of different girls that represent modern society. And please don't come back with "not all women are like that! Or they must be low quality/insecure!" Etc C'mon. I work and live in arguably one of the best cities in the world populated by intelligent, beautiful white-collar, professional females, all of which are seduced using pickup artist techniques.

 

Truth is ugly but it will set you free.

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A doormat is to "nice guy" what an a-hole is to confident guy.

 

They are not synonyms. Nobody wants a doormat or an A-hole. But lots of women want a confident guy who isn't a complete jerk. It's good to be a MAN. It's OK to voice an opinion. Confidence is sexy.

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A doormat is to "nice guy" what an a-hole is to confident guy.

 

They are not synonyms. Nobody wants a doormat or an A-hole. But lots of women want a confident guy who isn't a complete jerk. It's good to be a MAN. It's OK to voice an opinion. Confidence is sexy.

 

Thank you!! that's what I was trying to say.

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Born and raised by an amazing mom, an equally awesome dad, two great sisters and a fantastic grandmother. All of them taught me to respect myself, be good to myself and treat women with the same respect, politeness and goodness that I would want to be treated with.

 

If they had raised you to be the the kind of man you think you are then you would not have been able to play an a-hole. You would be above these games. Pretending being someone you are not just to test women is far from respecting them. You are not the man they wanted you to become.

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Hudson you are 100% undeniably right. Every single woman I have ever picked up has been receptive to "*******" behavior. My ex was a med student. I took her out, listened to how she was a strong feminist and had rock solid morals and convictions. I listened and seemed interested but as the night progressed I would tease her about some of her beliefs and tell her she was wrong about alot of things. At the end of the night I grabbed her and kissed her, after spending the whole night listening to how she hates forward, sexually aggressive men. She was so into it she said I could come back to her place, where she told me she was sick of guys at her uni who were just passive and kissed her ass about everything, who had no real backbone about anything etc etc.

 

The girl i'm seeing now only has male friends. Every single one of them have told her they like her and want to date her and she's turned every single one of them down. At first I was nice because I liked her alot, then I realized what was happening (she wasn't interested at all) so i consciously made the shift. I take her out for drinks and tell her i want to sleep with her to her face. I NEVER text her and only call her when I want to see her. What has resulted is her literally chasing me, I can ignore her calls and texts knowing that all I have to do is call her a few days later and we'll be having sex.

 

It's pathetic, disheartening and straight up depressing, and is undoubtedly one of the reasons why I feel like i'm unable to be in a relationship. It is literally a masquerade, and if you want to be successful with women you have to learn it.

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I am a nice guy with a spine and a personality. Definitely not afraid to speak my mind and let my voice be heard when the time calls for it.

 

you want the truth? you come off as a HUGE patronizing pain in the a** in this post. you're what i like to call The Nice Guy TM = swears up & down how good & nice he is but that patriarchal upbringing & misogyny + generalizations about women ALWAYS shine through.

 

start dating women who are actually interested in YOU instead of trying to chase down those who don't need OR want what you're offering - problem solved.

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I wouldn't even want any kind of woman this worked on anyway. The jerks can have them as far as I care. Like attracts like so if you want a quality woman you need to be a quality man.

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fitnessfan365

Stating opinions, having a backbone, being sexually aggressive, and funny with a bit of cocky doesn't make you an a-hole. It just means that you have confidence and a personality. This is the type of guy that I am naturally which is why I do really well with women.

 

But some guys live in extremes where they think it's just nice beta males and over the top cocky aggression. One is weak, and the other is an act covering up for weakness. Believe it or not, you can be a strong, confident, aggressive Alpha male, that is also a gentleman with women. The ability to have both sides to your personality and not over compensate with a routine you "have to learn" is where true self confidence lies IMO.

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Stating opinions, having a backbone, being sexually aggressive, and funny with a bit of cocky doesn't make you an a-hole. It just means that you have confidence and a personality. This is the type of guy that I am naturally which is why I do really well with women.

 

 

Yes it does.

 

Being sexually assertive is fine. Being sexually aggressive borders on rape. BIG Difference. Do not confuse the two.

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