Owch...

[Toodaloo]

Just told someone that I have been chatting to that I do not want to meet them as I have been asked out by someone else.

 

Wow. Glad I didn't meet them now.

 

Irony of it is if they had asked earlier I would have... Thanking God that they didn't now... Temper or what!

[barcode88]

Eh I wouldn't get too bent out of shape about it. Look at it through his eyes, he's talking to a girl who is seemingly interested in him, and when he asks her out she says "Oh sorry, I'm seeing someone else, bye". It would be a bit annoying and he could see it as you wasting his time.

 

He might be an alright guy otherwise, you really can't know for sure.

[Gaeta]

But the someone else who asked you, you met him before? I hope so! don't eliminate any good prospects until you've had 3-4 dates with the man of your choice.

[PegNosePete]

Look at it through his eyes, he's talking to a girl who is seemingly interested in him, and when he asks her out she says "Oh sorry, I'm seeing someone else, bye". It would be a bit annoying and he could see it as you wasting his time.

Yes, it's highly annoying and frustrating when that happens.

 

But it doesn't excuse rudeness and temper issues. Just move on.

[Toodaloo]

Look at it through his eyes, he's talking to a girl who is seemingly interested in him, and when he asks her out she says "Oh sorry, I'm seeing someone else, bye". It would be a bit annoying and he could see it as you wasting his time..

 

Thats the thing though he hasn't asked me out, nor made any moves to meet me and we have been talking for a while now...

 

He has only ever been putting barriers in the way of us meeting so I agreed to meet someone else and told him as I believe in being honest and open and whoomph.

 

I am sure it is annoying but he was the one that has been umming and aaahing and faffing about...

 

I assumed he was also chatting to other women - after all that is what people do on dating websites isn't it?

[barcode88]

Yes. If the other guy you're seeing is recent though, I would have still gone out with the other guy.

 

 

I was multi-dating a bit, but I did something similar where I cut a girl loose after I had a good 3rd date with another girl (the one my last thread was about), and then when it didn't work out I was high and dry. I think it's probably good to date multiple people until 5-6 dates with someone, it helps keep your options open.

[d0nnivain]

You probably dodged a bullet. If he felt better getting in the last (nasty / mean) word, give him that small thing. Go on your date with the man who did ask & let him go.

[kendahke]

He who hesitates is lost. No sense in him getting angry about it--that's the chance he took with this tack. He was out of line thinking that he could string this along on his own timetable and you were to wait on him to get around to it.

 

Yeah, you dodged a bullet.

[Toodaloo]

Yes. If the other guy you're seeing is recent though, I would have still gone out with the other guy.

 

 

I was multi-dating a bit, but I did something similar where I cut a girl loose after I had a good 3rd date with another girl (the one my last thread was about), and then when it didn't work out I was high and dry. I think it's probably good to date multiple people until 5-6 dates with someone, it helps keep your options open.

 

See I just can't do that.

 

It doesn't sit well with me...

[carhill]

Ha, ha another married guy wiling away his time on a dating site. Yep, bullet dodged. However, he did rate a thread, whereas a guy who went quietly into the nether would simply be forgotten. You're probably right about him chatting with other women.

[barcode88]

See I just can't do that.

 

It doesn't sit well with me...

 

Yeah I don't like doing it either. But after putting my eggs all in one basket and getting burned, it helps me cope with rejection better.

 

Also it is much more efficient ... If I keep setting up dates whilst dating other people, if plans fall through, or someone doesn't work out I have another person to take their place immediately.

[Toodaloo]

Ha, ha another married guy wiling away his time on a dating site. Yep, bullet dodged. However, he did rate a thread, whereas a guy who went quietly into the nether would simply be forgotten. You're probably right about him chatting with other women.

 

Thanks for making me feel better. I don't see why he shouldn't be after all he is on a dating site to meet people presumably?

 

Yeah I don't like doing it either. But after putting my eggs all in one basket and getting burned, it helps me cope with rejection better.

 

Also it is much more efficient ... If I keep setting up dates whilst dating other people, if plans fall through, or someone doesn't work out I have another person to take their place immediately.

 

I don't mind one at a time and having a break in between. When plans fall through I just go off and do something else instead Rejection doesn't bother me as I am of the mindset that if they don't fancy me then they are not for me anyway...

 

I can get why others do it but for me I just can't.

[barcode88]

Thanks for making me feel better. I don't see why he shouldn't be after all he is on a dating site to meet people presumably?

 

 

 

I don't mind one at a time and having a break in between. When plans fall through I just go off and do something else instead Rejection doesn't bother me as I am of the mindset that if they don't fancy me then they are not for me anyway...

 

I can get why others do it but for me I just can't.

 

Well I guess now that I think about it, rejection doesn't bother me so much as feeling like I was wasting a lot of time on one person when I could have seen how things went with others as well.

[Gary S]

This is why I advocate cutting contact and disappearing. If you send them a rejection message, you don't know what their attitude is and if they will lash out or not, like this one did. Date smart and avoid unnecessary drama.

[barcode88]

This is why I advocate cutting contact and disappearing. If you send them a rejection message, you don't know what their attitude is and if they will lash out or not, like this one did. Date smart and avoid unnecessary drama.

 

If you haven't met yet, this is solid advice IMO. I've had a few people where I just stop responding, and likewise others do the same to me. No harm no foul.

 

After you've gone out on a date or two, I think its common courtesy to be honest with each other, even if things aren't working out.

[Gaeta]

Sometimes I feel we need to tell it like it is. If this guy was dragging to meet than he deserved the type of rejection he got.

 

Like this guy who text me yesterday with 'Most likely we can meet up at some point this long weekend'.

 

I replied: when you learn to pick up the phone and come up with a real invitation with a concrete time and place we'll talk.

 

Of course I've never hear back from him lol, but I bet you he won't phrase it the same with the next girl.

 

Same as this guy here, next time he won't drag his feel to meet a woman if he's interested.

[Toodaloo]

I know.

 

I had one chap ask, which is great. I gave him several options as he asked when I would be free, several days later nothing, so I am afraid I always assume that they have met up with someone else or can't really be bothered.

 

Perhaps a bit harsh of me but I figure if they were enthusiastic about it they would be getting back to me asap to make sure I was going to be there!

[Timshel]

I have not done online dating but Gaeta and Toodaloo, from your experiences, I agree with both of you.

I think that a man will respond to you if he is any man to be bothered with. He will have kahuna's to not let you think twice.

So, reading both of your threads about online connection, I am grateful to both of you and also very convinced that there are lot's of liars and wanna be lotharios to stay away from. Gratzi!

I will learn vicariously from you guys if it's ok.

Toodaloo, any man that would be angry with you before he has met you seems like a waste of time.