CalvinM Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 My current lease is up in June. Today my gf (30) asked if I (33) wanted to move in (over text). "So, ive been thinking, would you consider moving in with me when your lease is up? I know it's early in our relationship but if that's a option for you id mostly consider it!" I told her I'd like to see how things go after meeting her parents/sister first, but we get along really well and I like her place a lot. Am I crazy for considering it? Link to post Share on other sites
Poppyolive Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Yes. Enjoy building up the relationship, without the living together hassles. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
Strength in Healing Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Screw it, move in. Ride the rollercoaster, amusement parks are awesome. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
h0000 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 hmmmmmmm yes 1 Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieT Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Yep, totally crazy. You should know someone through four seasons - at least - before cohabitating. Wait for the honeymoon period to wane before trying to live together. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 In the interest of a good drama, go for it! Report back frequently. On a serious note, I wouldn't consider it. Five or maybe six months in is way too hasty! Many relationships never make it past the six-month mark. Break up at six months and you're then stuck with someone you really don't want to be with for another eleven months. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 If your lease is about to be up, and it's convenient, I say go for it. The worst that happens is you have to move out and find your own place which you have to do anyway. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Bad idea. Don't do it. You barely know her. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Generally a bad bad idea. Not a good thing for a budding relationship. But it sounds like you're fairly transient so not that big of a deal. Just make sure you don't have any unwanted pregnancies as you play house. Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Where do you see this going? Do you see a future with her? You get on well. If you have the communication there and are happy then why not. Living with someone is tough though. We all have really annoying habits, its a case of what you can and can't live with... If you have any reservations then no - don't. I know people who have met, moved in and been married in a matter of months and been very happy. I also know people who have had the flip side of that coin. Only you can judge. Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Calvin, it was only a few *weeks* ago that you were on here posting about the two women you were juggling. Apparently you chose her, good for you. So how is it she's been your *girlfriend* for two months? When it's more like a few weeks? I only bring this up to say...it's WAY too soon to be moving in together. NOT if you want this relationship to last anyway! 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Toodaloo Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Calvin, it was only a few *weeks* ago that you were on here posting about the two women you were juggling. Apparently you chose her, good for you. So how is it she's been your *girlfriend* for two months? When it's more like a few weeks? I only bring this up to say...it's WAY too soon to be moving in together. NOT if you want this relationship to last anyway! Whoops! Changes my advice... Don't do it... 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Here what you were saying 2 weeks ago I really enjoy her company, but I don't want to make this a regular thing in case it's a fast track to us moving in together. You both stay in your own place and date for the next year. You don't really know someone till you've spent a full year dating them. Moving in with someone because it's convenient or to save on expense is a really really bad idea and it never works. I would also be wary of a woman inviting a man to move in with her after 2 months. How many 'live in' boyfriends she had? What was her longest relationship? 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Here what you were saying 2 weeks ago I really enjoy her company, but I don't want to make this a regular thing in case it's a fast track to us moving in together. You both stay in your own place and date for the next year. You don't really know someone till you've spent a full year dating them. Moving in with someone because it's convenient or to save on expense is a really really bad idea and it never works. I would also be wary of a woman inviting a man to move in with her after 2 months. How many 'live in' boyfriends she had? What was her longest relationship? Gaeta, it hasn't even been two months. On March 11th, he created a thread entitled "Sleeping WIth Two Women.". As of three weeks ago he was juggling two different women. One of whom was her, and I am glad he made the decision to date just her..but it's only been a few weeks since then....so you are right!! Way way too soon!!! 1 Link to post Share on other sites
d0nnivain Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Calvin I owe you an apology. A few days ago when she left you alone in her apartment with her dog, you asked if that was grooming you for living together. I told you I thought that was ridiculous. Apparently I was wrong & that is exactly what she was doing. Good news, you are in tune with your own environment & have a good handle on reading a situation. Since you were so freaked out about being left alone in the apartment then & wondering what it meant in terms of how seriously she was thinking, now that she has outright said it how can you be so calm? Of course it's bonkers to think about moving in together so quickly. Date her for at least a year, then see. If you are meant to be together forever, you don't have to cohabitate immediately. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
Gaeta Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Gaeta, it hasn't even been two months. On March 11th, he created a thread entitled "Sleeping WIth Two Women.". As of three weeks ago he was juggling two different women. One of whom was her, and I am glad he made the decision to date just her..but it's only been a few weeks since then....so you are right!! Way way too soon!!! I think he means when his lease is up June 1st, it will be a total of 2 months then. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
katiegrl Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 I think he means when his lease is up June 1st, it will be a total of 2 months then. Hmmm..okay maybe. But the title of this thread is "My girlfriend of two months..." Hence my confusion.... Link to post Share on other sites
No_Go Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Well, I'd disagree that is the worst based on first hand experience. You can look in my threads about my ex, but in short: he suggested to move in after a MONTH, my lease also was going to expire then so I thought "why not". Follow-up: 1) he turned to be alcoholic and had criminal record 2) he turned out to be kicked out of his ex-gf place where he lived basically to the day that we moved in together (he apparently stopped paying rent there) 3) the most "fun" part: he was broke. Paid the first month rent, and NOTHING else, ever. I had to pay for the apartment, utilities, food, his alcohol and medications when I begged him to stop drinking. 4) oh, "funnier": the landlord refused to break down the lease so this continued for months until they had some mercy and let both of us out. So for the OP: PLS DO BACKGROUND AND MAYBE CREDIT CHECKS of this woman if you decide to move in with her, because although it could be ok, there is a chance that the things will go sour... If your lease is about to be up, and it's convenient, I say go for it. The worst that happens is you have to move out and find your own place which you have to do anyway. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Semantics about how many months it has been. If he has been with her less than a year, ITS TOO EARLY. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Gary S Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 The problem is, you two have only been dating for two months, you don't really know her yet. If you move in with her, you could find yourself in a living hell. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 1, 2015 Share Posted April 1, 2015 Re-up your lease at your current place or find another place to live, but do NOT move in with her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author CalvinM Posted April 2, 2015 Author Share Posted April 2, 2015 We were talking about debt tonight, and she mentioned off hand that she has about $20,000 in credit card debt. She's working two jobs (60+ hours a week), and making minimum payments of about $450/month (almost as much as her rent) to pay it off, but I'm a bit freaked out about that.. Link to post Share on other sites
Versacehottie Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 We were talking about debt tonight, and she mentioned off hand that she has about $20,000 in credit card debt. She's working two jobs (60+ hours a week), and making minimum payments of about $450/month (almost as much as her rent) to pay it off, but I'm a bit freaked out about that.. Yeah see the kind of things you learn a few more weeks in and why 2 months is too soon. BTW, maybe it would still freak you out at a year or maybe you would know each other so well to understand how she takes or doesn't take care of her problems. These are the sorts of things one needs to know. Probably just about everyone has some stuff that's not so great but it's how they handle it is really what you need to know going into a living situation. Good luck 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Wackkkk Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Why is that crazy? No it's not. You learn so much about a person once you move in with them. catch the bad and good early on. You can leave , you're not married. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 We were talking about debt tonight, and she mentioned off hand that she has about $20,000 in credit card debt. She's working two jobs (60+ hours a week), and making minimum payments of about $450/month (almost as much as her rent) to pay it off, but I'm a bit freaked out about that.. Um... WHAT? Dude, do NOT move in with her. Do not move in with her in 1 year. No wonder she wants you to move in. She's trying to free up some money to either: A) Throw more money at her debt B) Free up more money to rack up more debt I would understand if it was $20,000 in STUDENT LOANS. But CREDIT CARD DEBT suggests frivolous spending to the extreme nature. And the fact that you said that the minimum payments are as much as her rent, suggests to me that she lives in an area where she SHOULDN'T be racking up $20,000 in credit card debt. That is a HUGE red flag to me and it suggests that she definitely doesn't know how to take care of her finances. I get it, she is working 60 hours a week. But if she doesn't understand that making minimum payments are getting her nowhere, then you two are going to have a lot of fights about finances in the future. Listen to me: DO NOT MOVE IN WITH HER. And if she gets mad at you for not moving in with her, that's her problem to deal with. Do NOT make her debt, your problem. Link to post Share on other sites
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