FWB is acting weird...what's his deal?

[jebrooks1988]

I thought we were just FWB but now I'm confused by how he's acting. Okay so he kind of wanted to date me but I screwed up now he says he doesn't want anything with me but he now he's acting weird. I live 2 hrs away FYI. He asks for me to spend the night quite a bit lately.He was going through something and asked me to come over to keep his mind off of things and we just chilled while he laid in my lap and I rubbed his head, no sex, he tried I said no, then later I tried then he told me no so I just slept over. I left the next morning, he calls that night to ask me to come back I said no but I'd let him know when I would be back in town. Days later before I get a chance to even talk to him he calls and ask me when I'm coming back said I wasn't sure and but then he asked, then insisted that I come that night.

 

He is supposed to go out but instead for whatever reason stays in with me and we fall asleep cuddling, me sleeping on his chest. I stay until 4 pm the next day, leave and hours later he calls me and asks me to come back and see him before he goes out. He goes out that night he texts me drunk and says "come to me" then starts calling me to come over I say no then he starts saying how I need to come over "because I just want to hold you as I fall asleep" then asked "wait, are you with that guy right now. I'm getting pissed, you're my girl" then said that he wanted me to go to church with him the next day and is still asking for me to come see him but I still couldn't come over. The next morning he texts me saying he wants me to go to church with him so I go (first time going with him) afterwards I say that I'm leaving and he pretty much starts begging me to stay saying he didn't want me to hang out just for 30 min just for me to leave and for me to stay. He says "I thought you wanted to spend more time together, I'm trying to and now you don't that's f*cked up". He tells me not to leave but to but do my work there instead so I could spend the night so I stay for a bit and he makes dinner, he tries to have sex I say no because I kind of was in a funky mood all day and he just asking me what was wrong said he wanted to know and that he could talk to me and then pulled me to him and he held me for a while and he kept asking me to spend the night again.

 

I'm confused, this doesn't seem like typical fwb behavior at least to me it doesn't. He gets jealous of other guys that I talk to. He keeps asking about this one guy in particular, tries to look into my phone, got mad because I was sending another guy a Snapchat while he was there, said "hmm you have a lot of guy friends". We even held hands (even though he was drunk) but he doesn't like to kiss much anymore which is throwing me off. My friends say they would never ask their fwb to go go to church with them, or ask their fwb to come over when they're down, and keep asking to see so much. He wants to know when I'm quitting my job (I'm trying to move up there).Even asked when he comes to my city do I want for him to see me (I said no because I just wasn't feeling how things were with us at the moment) They think he wants to be with me but is just being guarded right now because of how I kind of messed up things before and he doesn't trust me (when were initially dating a few months in, not exclusively, he found out that I was seeing 3 other guys in addition to him *not sleeping just dating* then backed off quite a bit), so he's proceeding with caution should I say. Does he truly see me as fwb or does he want more just not trying to get attached/being guarded? What's up with the lack of kissing thing? What's this guys deal?

 

 

**met in November didn't have sex with him until the beginning of this month**

Edited March 30, 2015 by jebrooks1988

[Armando929]

It seems to me that he's starting to fall for you if he's not totally fallen. Jealousy and questions about other guys are definitely big clues.

 

 

I would say if you have any similar feelings, maybe explore it but if not, then I guess eventually you'll have to tell him that it's just sex. Won't be easy to do.

 

 

But having been in a similar situation some time back, it sounds to me like that's what it is.

[jebrooks1988]

It seems to me that he's starting to fall for you if he's not totally fallen. Jealousy and questions about other guys are definitely big clues.

 

 

I would say if you have any similar feelings, maybe explore it but if not, then I guess eventually you'll have to tell him that it's just sex. Won't be easy to do.

 

 

But having been in a similar situation some time back, it sounds to me like that's what it is.

 

Ha, that's what my friend said too. He also said no guy is going to wait 5 months to have sex with a girl just to only end up as FWB. If this is true then why not just progress things? Also, why doesn't he really want to kiss me anymore? Not trying to get attached?

[Strength in Healing]

Typical FWB behavior? I am afraid to ask how many times you've tried this.

 

Regardless, FWB always fails. Period. Come on now, no room for naivety. Talk to him about a relationship or drop him. This FWB crap is always useless and makes both people look bad.

[jebrooks1988]

Typical FWB behavior? I am afraid to ask how many times you've tried this.

 

Regardless, FWB always fails. Period. Come on now, no room for naivety. Talk to him about a relationship or drop him. This FWB crap is always useless and makes both people look bad.

 

This is the first time, just going off what I've been told/know of FWB experiences via other people.

[Strength in Healing]

Confront him. No one has time for these games. Ask him if he would consider making it official.

 

If not, drop him. And never partake in FWB again, it always, always ends bad.

[Redhead14]

I thought we were just FWB but now I'm confused by how he's acting. Okay so he kind of wanted to date me but I screwed up now he says he doesn't want anything with me but he now he's acting weird. I live 2 hrs away FYI. He asks for me to spend the night quite a bit lately.He was going through something and asked me to come over to keep his mind off of things and we just chilled while he laid in my lap and I rubbed his head, no sex, he tried I said no, then later I tried then he told me no so I just slept over. I left the next morning, he calls that night to ask me to come back I said no but I'd let him know when I would be back in town. Days later before I get a chance to even talk to him he calls and ask me when I'm coming back said I wasn't sure and but then he asked, then insisted that I come that night.

 

He is supposed to go out but instead for whatever reason stays in with me and we fall asleep cuddling, me sleeping on his chest. I stay until 4 pm the next day, leave and hours later he calls me and asks me to come back and see him before he goes out. He goes out that night he texts me drunk and says "come to me" then starts calling me to come over I say no then he starts saying how I need to come over "because I just want to hold you as I fall asleep" then asked "wait, are you with that guy right now. I'm getting pissed, you're my girl" then said that he wanted me to go to church with him the next day and is still asking for me to come see him but I still couldn't come over. The next morning he texts me saying he wants me to go to church with him so I go (first time going with him) afterwards I say that I'm leaving and he pretty much starts begging me to stay saying he didn't want me to hang out just for 30 min just for me to leave and for me to stay. He says "I thought you wanted to spend more time together, I'm trying to and now you don't that's f*cked up". He tells me not to leave but to but do my work there instead so I could spend the night so I stay for a bit and he makes dinner, he tries to have sex I say no because I kind of was in a funky mood all day and he just asking me what was wrong said he wanted to know and that he could talk to me and then pulled me to him and he held me for a while and he kept asking me to spend the night again.

 

I'm confused, this doesn't seem like typical fwb behavior at least to me it doesn't. He gets jealous of other guys that I talk to. He keeps asking about this one guy in particular, tries to look into my phone, got mad because I was sending another guy a Snapchat while he was there, said "hmm you have a lot of guy friends". We even held hands (even though he was drunk) but he doesn't like to kiss much anymore which is throwing me off. My friends say they would never ask their fwb to go go to church with them, or ask their fwb to come over when they're down, and keep asking to see so much. He wants to know when I'm quitting my job (I'm trying to move up there).Even asked when he comes to my city do I want for him to see me (I said no because I just wasn't feeling how things were with us at the moment) They think he wants to be with me but is just being guarded right now because of how I kind of messed up things before and he doesn't trust me (when were initially dating a few months in, not exclusively, he found out that I was seeing 3 other guys in addition to him *not sleeping just dating* then backed off quite a bit), so he's proceeding with caution should I say. Does he truly see me as fwb or does he want more just not trying to get attached/being guarded? What's up with the lack of kissing thing? What's this guys deal?

 

 

**met in November didn't have sex with him until the beginning of this month**

 

This is an FWB. FWB's are not sustainable for very long usually. Emotions become involved at some point for one or the other. If he's becoming attached, it's time to move on.

 

Even if you two decide to enter into a "real" relationship, the foundation is based on sex. You would have to hit the "reset" button and start dating from ground zero and without sex for some time.

[jebrooks1988]

This is an FWB. FWB's are not sustainable for very long usually. Emotions become involved at some point for one or the other. If he's becoming attached, it's time to move on.

 

Even if you two decide to enter into a "real" relationship, the foundation is based on sex. You would have to hit the "reset" button and start dating from ground zero and without sex for some time.

 

Well the foundations isn't really based on sex. I met him in November and didn't sleep with him until just this month. He wanted more but I screwed things up a little while back.

[Jethro]

This is like the 10th time I have had to say this on Love Shack... you are doing FWB wrong. FWB is being friends and having sex. Friends don't get screwed up about anything the other friend does or says. You said he asked you to "come back to him"... a true FWB might say "Ya, I don't think so, I'm gonna go home and watch Dr. Who instead" and neither party really cares. You are both emotionally doing FWB wrong, and that means you are in a relationship. Congrats!

[preraph]

Well, obviously he has no problem talking, so if he wants you to be a real girlfriend and be exclusive, he knows how to go about it: Ask you on a real date somewhere nice and he pays, tell you he wants you to be exclusive and see if you're interested. No, he's trying to get ALL the benefits with ZERO of the reciprocation and responsibility right now, sexual and emotional. You're his sexy nurse.

[Buddhist]

He wants a relationship from you and freedom for himself. In other words for you to be exclusive to him while he can continue to be a FWB. Don't get sucked in by the apparent jealousy and clingyness. If he wanted a proper relatioship with you, he'd ask you for one.

[jebrooks1988]

He wants a relationship from you and freedom for himself. In other words for you to be exclusive to him while he can continue to be a FWB. Don't get sucked in by the apparent jealousy and clingyness. If he wanted a proper relatioship with you, he'd ask you for one.

 

This is where it's get a little complicated. Months ago he found out I was casually dating *not sleeping* 3 other guys in addition to him and then he backed off and said he kept saying how he didn't want to compete and didn't want to spend money if I was getting "free meals" from other guys. That's where things started to turn left.

[jebrooks1988]

Well, obviously he has no problem talking, so if he wants you to be a real girlfriend and be exclusive, he knows how to go about it: Ask you on a real date somewhere nice and he pays, tell you he wants you to be exclusive and see if you're interested. No, he's trying to get ALL the benefits with ZERO of the reciprocation and responsibility right now, sexual and emotional. You're his sexy nurse.

 

Just going to repost what I said to another user lol:

 

This is where it's get a little complicated. Months ago he found out I was casually dating *not sleeping* 3 other guys in addition to him and then he backed off and said he kept saying how he didn't want to compete and didn't want to spend money if I was getting "free meals" from other guys. That's where things started to turn left.

 

My friends said that it comes off like I don't want anything from him because I still entertain other guys, which he knows, so that's why he's not speaking up.

[jebrooks1988]

This is where it's get a little complicated. Months ago he found out I was casually dating *not sleeping* 3 other guys in addition to him and then he backed off and said he kept saying how he didn't want to compete and didn't want to spend money if I was getting "free meals" from other guys. That's where things started to turn left.

 

He knew I had a date 2 weeks ago and that's when he kept asking "do you like this guy?" "did you make out with him?" "are you with him right now?"

[jebrooks1988]

This is where it's get a little complicated. Months ago he found out I was casually dating *not sleeping* 3 other guys in addition to him and then he backed off and said he kept saying how he didn't want to compete and didn't want to spend money if I was getting "free meals" from other guys. That's where things started to turn left.

 

He wants a relationship from you and freedom for himself. In other words for you to be exclusive to him while he can continue to be a FWB. Don't get sucked in by the apparent jealousy and clingyness. If he wanted a proper relatioship with you, he'd ask you for one.

 

He knew I had a date 2 weeks ago and that's when he kept asking "do you like this guy?" "did you make out with him?" "are you with him right now?"

[preraph]

Just going to repost what I said to another user lol:

 

This is where it's get a little complicated. Months ago he found out I was casually dating *not sleeping* 3 other guys in addition to him and then he backed off and said he kept saying how he didn't want to compete and didn't want to spend money if I was getting "free meals" from other guys. That's where things started to turn left.

 

My friends said that it comes off like I don't want anything from him because I still entertain other guys, which he knows, so that's why he's not speaking up.

 

I think he's probably judging you and is going to have a very hard time ever trusting you because you're multidating and sleeping with him, and then the "free meals" reeks of being a "meal ho." Of course, that's his term and I have no idea if you're going with these guys and they're buying you dinner or things or not. Again, if he wants to date you, he does know that means taking you on a real date -- and if he doesn't want to do that because he doesn't like the idea he's only one of four guys, it's up to him to bring that up with you if it's important at all to him and have a discussion. It still sounds to me like he's just dragging his feet taking any responsibility in the relationship or making even the slightest commitment, and the fact you're multidating is contributing, of course.

 

Also, the tenor of how you described his needs in the original post made me think he might just be getting kind of codependent. But that's no acceptable with someone who can't even take the first step to having a real date and a conversation about what each of you wants down the road. He needs to man up -- and for someone to take you seriously, you probably need to man down a little!

[jebrooks1988]

I think he's probably judging you and is going to have a very hard time ever trusting you because you're multidating and sleeping with him, and then the "free meals" reeks of being a "meal ho." Of course, that's his term and I have no idea if you're going with these guys and they're buying you dinner or things or not. Again, if he wants to date you, he does know that means taking you on a real date -- and if he doesn't want to do that because he doesn't like the idea he's only one of four guys, it's up to him to bring that up with you if it's important at all to him and have a discussion. It still sounds to me like he's just dragging his feet taking any responsibility in the relationship or making even the slightest commitment, and the fact you're multidating is contributing, of course.

 

Also, the tenor of how you described his needs in the original post made me think he might just be getting kind of codependent. But that's no acceptable with someone who can't even take the first step to having a real date and a conversation about what each of you wants down the road. He needs to man up -- and for someone to take you seriously, you probably need to man down a little!

 

You're exactly right. My friends keep telling me it comes off like I don't want anything with him which is why he seems to be hesitant/dragging his feet. He said he wanted more and said he thought we were working on being exclusive but things took a bad turn when I blew him off publicly. But I'll definitely try to "man down" lol.

[elaine567]

Why don't you just ask him?

[oh.so.lost.]

I've come to learn that a FWB relationship is basically a cop out. There is no 'nutritional' benefit to be gained for the soul. There are no rewards to reap, just confusion and frustration. Think of how much time and effort it takes to make a regular 'normal' relationship work. Not just romantic ones, but friendships as well. It takes a significant amout of time to learn people's differences and adjust what's needed. The price we end up paying emotionally is not readily apparent when we decide to entertain this type of relationship. We do it so we can reap the benifits without 'being involved'. however, it's a trap and impossible to avoid getting emotinally involved with the other party.

[jebrooks1988]

It seems to me that he's starting to fall for you if he's not totally fallen. Jealousy and questions about other guys are definitely big clues.

 

 

I would say if you have any similar feelings, maybe explore it but if not, then I guess eventually you'll have to tell him that it's just sex. Won't be easy to do.

 

 

But having been in a similar situation some time back, it sounds to me like that's what it is.

 

 

 

Well I'm not too sure now. Sunday he kept asking me to spend the night then he looked into my phone saw that my gut friend wanted me to come over and asked if I was going to see him. I said I might, then he asked if I was going to spend the night with him and I said I might but probably not, to which he said well you can come back and spend the night if you want. I said no I'm just going to go then I left.*

 

I didn't hear from all week which was weird. Finally called him yesterday . Finally talked to him and he tells me he doesn't want me to get attached. What the heck? Why in the world would he think that when he did all that stuff from the first post that I mentioned (kept asking to see me, getting upset about other guys, etc.)? Like it just doesn't make sense lol, so much so that I think he's lying because he knows that he's attached and doesn't think I want what he wants. Really how does he not want me to get attached when HE was doing all that stuff? Then he says "yea I just feel bad using you for sex", again what in the world? You just use me for sex but I go home two hours away, but you ask for me to come back that same night just for sex? Want to hold me in your arms as you fall asleep because it was just sex? Being almost clingy because it's just sex? Correct me if I'm wrong but I feel like he did too much for it to be just sex. Then I say how are you using me if we're both on the same page on what we do and don't want?

 

Then here comes the kicker, he said well there's someone else. I said oh when did you meet her, he said in December (we met in November). So I ask so was she out of town last weekend or something? Because remember before I even got a chance to let him know when I was coming back he called me at 3:30 that afternoon saying he wanted me to come up there, stayed there until 4 pm the next day, then he asked me to come over again only a few hours later then calls me again to come back spend the night, then wants to go to church the next morning, and tells me he's trying to work on spending more time together, tells me to do my work there so that I can spend the night. Any who he says the other girl conveniently to a wedding that weekend. Then I asked why didn't he ask her over the week before when he was feeling down instead of me to which he replies "oh I think she was busy", again how convenient. I asked, "you think how do you not know?" The person you supposedly want is conveniently busy so you ask your booty call instead of waiting for the girl you want? I know he has a best gf then why not ask her next instead of your fwb? Again I think he's just lying.

 

Also where was this girl the week before then when I spent the night the Saturday, Sunday, and he wanted me to come back that Monday and then begged to see me again days later? Then I mentioned the other guy that I had a date with a few weeks ago then he proceeds to ask me, "have you had sex with him? Did you blow him, did you kiss him?" If you really have this girl then what do you care?*

 

I really do think he's lying. I know it seems crazy lol but I really do. I think he got hurt, chalked it up in his head that I don't want him and now he's trying to push me away and make me feel bad. Really based off my other post did that seem like a girl who was getting attached? Lol Even you mentioned how my behavior came off a certain way. Also I feel like if you truly had someone else you wouldn't care what your fwb is doing. I don't know I could definitely be wrong but I really do think he's lying.

[Redhead14]

I thought we were just FWB but now I'm confused by how he's acting. Okay so he kind of wanted to date me but I screwed up now he says he doesn't want anything with me but he now he's acting weird. I live 2 hrs away FYI. He asks for me to spend the night quite a bit lately.He was going through something and asked me to come over to keep his mind off of things and we just chilled while he laid in my lap and I rubbed his head, no sex, he tried I said no, then later I tried then he told me no so I just slept over. I left the next morning, he calls that night to ask me to come back I said no but I'd let him know when I would be back in town. Days later before I get a chance to even talk to him he calls and ask me when I'm coming back said I wasn't sure and but then he asked, then insisted that I come that night.

 

He is supposed to go out but instead for whatever reason stays in with me and we fall asleep cuddling, me sleeping on his chest. I stay until 4 pm the next day, leave and hours later he calls me and asks me to come back and see him before he goes out. He goes out that night he texts me drunk and says "come to me" then starts calling me to come over I say no then he starts saying how I need to come over "because I just want to hold you as I fall asleep" then asked "wait, are you with that guy right now. I'm getting pissed, you're my girl" then said that he wanted me to go to church with him the next day and is still asking for me to come see him but I still couldn't come over. The next morning he texts me saying he wants me to go to church with him so I go (first time going with him) afterwards I say that I'm leaving and he pretty much starts begging me to stay saying he didn't want me to hang out just for 30 min just for me to leave and for me to stay. He says "I thought you wanted to spend more time together, I'm trying to and now you don't that's f*cked up". He tells me not to leave but to but do my work there instead so I could spend the night so I stay for a bit and he makes dinner, he tries to have sex I say no because I kind of was in a funky mood all day and he just asking me what was wrong said he wanted to know and that he could talk to me and then pulled me to him and he held me for a while and he kept asking me to spend the night again.

 

I'm confused, this doesn't seem like typical fwb behavior at least to me it doesn't. He gets jealous of other guys that I talk to. He keeps asking about this one guy in particular, tries to look into my phone, got mad because I was sending another guy a Snapchat while he was there, said "hmm you have a lot of guy friends". We even held hands (even though he was drunk) but he doesn't like to kiss much anymore which is throwing me off. My friends say they would never ask their fwb to go go to church with them, or ask their fwb to come over when they're down, and keep asking to see so much. He wants to know when I'm quitting my job (I'm trying to move up there).Even asked when he comes to my city do I want for him to see me (I said no because I just wasn't feeling how things were with us at the moment) They think he wants to be with me but is just being guarded right now because of how I kind of messed up things before and he doesn't trust me (when were initially dating a few months in, not exclusively, he found out that I was seeing 3 other guys in addition to him *not sleeping just dating* then backed off quite a bit), so he's proceeding with caution should I say. Does he truly see me as fwb or does he want more just not trying to get attached/being guarded? What's up with the lack of kissing thing? What's this guys deal?

 

 

**met in November didn't have sex with him until the beginning of this month**

 

Have a casual, non-confrontational conversation with him. Say something like, "I've been enjoying the time we're spending together and I have been thinking that this relationship is an FWB. Do you want it to be something more?". And, then let him talk.

 

If he says FWB, then make boundaries.

[jebrooks1988]

Have a casual, non-confrontational conversation with him. Say something like, "I've been enjoying the time we're spending together and I have been thinking that this relationship is an FWB. Do you want it to be something more?". And, then let him talk.

 

If he says FWB, then make boundaries.

 

 

Well I was going to do that then he threw me for a loop.

Sunday he kept asking me to spend the night then he looked into my phone saw that my gut friend wanted me to come over and asked if I was going to see him. I said I might, then he asked if I was going to spend the night with him and I said I might but probably not, to which he said well you can come back and spend the night if you want. I said no I'm just going to go then I left.*

 

 

I didn't hear from all week which was weird. Finally called him yesterday . Finally talked to him and he tells me he doesn't want me to get attached. What the heck? Why in the world would he think that when he did all that stuff from the first post that I mentioned (kept asking to see me, getting upset about other guys, etc.)? Like it just doesn't make sense lol, so much so that I think he's lying because he knows that he's attached and doesn't think I want what he wants. Really how does he not want me to get attached when HE was doing all that stuff? Then he says "yea I just feel bad using you for sex", again what in the world? You just use me for sex but I go home two hours away, but you ask for me to come back that same night just for sex? Want to hold me in your arms as you fall asleep because it was just sex? Being almost clingy because it's just sex? Correct me if I'm wrong but I feel like he did too much for it to be just sex. Then I say how are you using me if we're both on the same page on what we do and don't want?*

 

Then here comes the kicker, he said well there's someone else. I said oh when did you meet her, he said in December (we met in November). So I ask so was she out of town last weekend or something? Because remember before I even got a chance to let him know when I was coming back he called me at 3:30 that afternoon saying he wanted me to come up there, stayed there until 4 pm the next day, then he asked me to come over again only a few hours later then calls me again to come back spend the night, then wants to go to church the next morning, and tells me he's trying to work on spending more time together, tells me to do my work there so that I can spend the night. Any who he says the other girl conveniently went to a wedding that weekend. Then I asked why didn't he ask her over the week before when he was feeling down instead of me to which he replies "oh I think she was busy", again how convenient. The person you supposedly want is convenient so you ask your booty call instead of waiting for the girl you want? I know he has a best gf then why not ask her next instead of your fwb? Again I think he's just lying.

 

Also where was this girl the week before then when I spent the night the Saturday, Sunday, and he wanted me to come back that Monday and then begged to see me again days later? Then I mentioned the other guy that I had a date with a few weeks ago then he proceeds to ask me, "have you had sex with him? Did you blow him, did you kiss him?" If you really have this girl then what do you care?*

 

I really do think he's lying. I know it seems crazy lol but I really do. I think he got hurt, chalked it up in his head that I don't want him and now he's trying to push me away and make me feel bad. Really based off my other post did that seem like a girl who was getting attached? Lol Even you mentioned how my behavior came off a certain way. Also I feel like if you truly had someone else you wouldn't care what your fwb is doing. I don't know I could definitely be wrong but I really do think he's lying.

[Redhead14]

Well I was going to do that then he threw me for a loop.

Sunday he kept asking me to spend the night then he looked into my phone saw that my gut friend wanted me to come over and asked if I was going to see him. I said I might, then he asked if I was going to spend the night with him and I said I might but probably not, to which he said well you can come back and spend the night if you want. I said no I'm just going to go then I left.*

 

 

I didn't hear from all week which was weird. Finally called him yesterday . Finally talked to him and he tells me he doesn't want me to get attached. What the heck? Why in the world would he think that when he did all that stuff from the first post that I mentioned (kept asking to see me, getting upset about other guys, etc.)? Like it just doesn't make sense lol, so much so that I think he's lying because he knows that he's attached and doesn't think I want what he wants. Really how does he not want me to get attached when HE was doing all that stuff? Then he says "yea I just feel bad using you for sex", again what in the world? You just use me for sex but I go home two hours away, but you ask for me to come back that same night just for sex? Want to hold me in your arms as you fall asleep because it was just sex? Being almost clingy because it's just sex? Correct me if I'm wrong but I feel like he did too much for it to be just sex. Then I say how are you using me if we're both on the same page on what we do and don't want?*

 

Then here comes the kicker, he said well there's someone else. I said oh when did you meet her, he said in December (we met in November). So I ask so was she out of town last weekend or something? Because remember before I even got a chance to let him know when I was coming back he called me at 3:30 that afternoon saying he wanted me to come up there, stayed there until 4 pm the next day, then he asked me to come over again only a few hours later then calls me again to come back spend the night, then wants to go to church the next morning, and tells me he's trying to work on spending more time together, tells me to do my work there so that I can spend the night. Any who he says the other girl conveniently went to a wedding that weekend. Then I asked why didn't he ask her over the week before when he was feeling down instead of me to which he replies "oh I think she was busy", again how convenient. The person you supposedly want is convenient so you ask your booty call instead of waiting for the girl you want? I know he has a best gf then why not ask her next instead of your fwb? Again I think he's just lying.

 

Also where was this girl the week before then when I spent the night the Saturday, Sunday, and he wanted me to come back that Monday and then begged to see me again days later? Then I mentioned the other guy that I had a date with a few weeks ago then he proceeds to ask me, "have you had sex with him? Did you blow him, did you kiss him?" If you really have this girl then what do you care?*

 

I really do think he's lying. I know it seems crazy lol but I really do. I think he got hurt, chalked it up in his head that I don't want him and now he's trying to push me away and make me feel bad. Really based off my other post did that seem like a girl who was getting attached? Lol Even you mentioned how my behavior came off a certain way. Also I feel like if you truly had someone else you wouldn't care what your fwb is doing. I don't know I could definitely be wrong but I really do think he's lying.

 

Here's the thing with this . . . it's become so confusing and the communication is weak at best. And, if he's lying about his feelings, he is still lying. That is an immature way to handle the situation.

And, really, you are trying to read his mind. If he isn't clear about things, don't bother.

 

Bottom line, I'd back off all together. Get on with your life. Date others. If he truly has feelings for you, he will come after you and date you properly. And, if you want more with him, that's what needs to happen. Hit the reset button and start over as a dating couple without sex for a while as well. But he has to come to you. Don't reach out or initiate anything for a while.

 

But, it will still be difficult to get past the past with this. I don't recommend waiting around. Move forward.