Augman Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Hi everyone, i love this forum. It has helped me so mich inthe past! My gf and I: Ive found a match and im incredibly happy. My gf of 7 months and i are happy wih eachother. We were very new to sex before eachother, so lovemaking is an incredible experiance for us. We love trying all sorts of new things especially in the bedroom, and we have great sexual chemistry. The proposal: Now, shortly after making love one day recently she asked me about my thoughts on trying out a threesome. She assumed i would say no and said that she is perfectly fine with just having me and only me to make love to, but that she was very curious if it could work (im assuming both if we could handle it as a couple, and if we could pull it off without it being awkward. Possible issues: She tells me time and time again she has never been comfortable naked with anyone except me, and that would be an issue with a thrid person involved. We also have had jealousy issues in the past. I have been immature and had a hard time accepting some of her past, and she has had issues with my females freinds. I think jealousy might be an issue, even though i have confidence in our strength as a couple. Reasons this could work: I am straight, so i would not be okay with a MMF, but she is bi, so a MFF would work fine for both of us. We have talked about us as a couple and its strength to handle this and make it a fun new experience. Factors that can change and get input: Should we set stern boudaries, or just truth eachother to do what's comfortable? Should the third person be a freind of either of us, or a mutual freind, or a sort of stranger? Asside from the questions above, are there any thougts? Could this work? Is it a good idea? What are some risks involved and how to minimize them? Thanks everyone! I appreciate any and all input. Link to post Share on other sites
BikerAccnt Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 First off I say, don't do it in any form. You are opening the door to problems. It's hard to keep emotions in check when you introduce a third party to the mix. Hell it's hard enough to keep emotions in check with just two Second, this quote.. I am straight, so i would not be okay with a MMF, but she is bi, so a MFF would work fine for both of us. . What does your being straight have to do with a MMF? Suppose she wanted that, and you didn't have to touch him? I only ask because, even though a guy myself, I find it amusing that most guys are quite ok with FFM, actually enthusiastic about it, but got forbid a MMF! I mean, if I was female, I'd prefer having two males, just as the male fantasy is having two females.. but I digressed Sorry. I still say don't do it, regardless. Some fantasies deserve to be kept just that. Its the rare couple that can swing successfully. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
SincereOnlineGuy Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Yes, in your case, don't do it. And if she already claimed to be "bi", she's merely setting you up to cheat on you anyway, so the threesome would only start the timer on that earlier, vs. later. Can you think of any other reason why someone would need to claim to be bisexual while in the throes of a monogamous relationship, than the eventuality that she will cheat on you? She's already set you up for her to repeat "but I told you I was bisexual..." (as if that excuses anything...) 1 Link to post Share on other sites
kendahke Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 3somes are not a good idea when two people have feelings for one another unless you're as secure as Fort Knox. They are best done when there is no romantic investment in anyone. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 She is petrified at the idea of being naked with anyone except you, yet she wants to introduce another person into your intimate life? Something's not adding up. I think she may not be who you think she is. 6 Link to post Share on other sites
seekingpeaceinlove Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Read the highlighted. THAT is why a threesome would be a terrible idea for you two. I guarantee it will cause problems. Hi everyone, i love this forum. It has helped me so mich inthe past! My gf and I: Ive found a match and im incredibly happy. My gf of 7 months and i are happy wih eachother. We were very new to sex before eachother, so lovemaking is an incredible experiance for us. We love trying all sorts of new things especially in the bedroom, and we have great sexual chemistry. The proposal: Now, shortly after making love one day recently she asked me about my thoughts on trying out a threesome. She assumed i would say no and said that she is perfectly fine with just having me and only me to make love to, but that she was very curious if it could work (im assuming both if we could handle it as a couple, and if we could pull it off without it being awkward. Possible issues: She tells me time and time again she has never been comfortable naked with anyone except me, and that would be an issue with a thrid person involved. We also have had jealousy issues in the past. I have been immature and had a hard time accepting some of her past, and she has had issues with my females freinds. I think jealousy might be an issue, even though i have confidence in our strength as a couple. Reasons this could work: I am straight, so i would not be okay with a MMF, but she is bi, so a MFF would work fine for both of us. We have talked about us as a couple and its strength to handle this and make it a fun new experience. Factors that can change and get input: Should we set stern boudaries, or just truth eachother to do what's comfortable? Should the third person be a freind of either of us, or a mutual freind, or a sort of stranger? Asside from the questions above, are there any thougts? Could this work? Is it a good idea? What are some risks involved and how to minimize them? Thanks everyone! I appreciate any and all input. Link to post Share on other sites
ExpatInItaly Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 You guys aren't ready for this. A history of jealousy is a major warning sign. Seeing your partner get intimate with someone else is not something you will forget, and if you have already had problems at only 7 months in, you should NOT attempt a threesome. Out of pure curiosity, is she wanting to bring another man or another woman into your bed? 1 Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 You are 7 months into your first sexual relationship and want a threesome? If you do not like your gf and you like huge fights over jealousy issues, you love complications with other guys/girls messing up your relationship, and you want to be cheated on by your bi-gf, then go right ahead. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 OP, did she prefer a MFF or MMF? If she's going for a MFF maybe she just wants to act out on her bisexual urges, but wants to include you in the process. It might not be the greatest idea, but if its something she really wants to do you might need to consider it. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 If you think you'd ever want to marry this woman, don't do it. In fact, don't ever marry this woman. There's a SEVERE lack of congruency on her behalf. Not only that, but she's trying to make this sound like it could be your idea, just so she can have "permission" to be with another woman at the same time? This has disaster written all over it. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Author Augman Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 What does your being straight have to do with a MMF? Suppose she wanted that, and you didn't have to touch him? Great point to consider, that would definitely be different. I think the point i was making is that with a MMF, only one of us would get enjoyment out if it. Not to say i dont care about her enjoyment, but id rather us both actually enjoy it, ya know? Yes, in your case, don't do it. And if she already claimed to be "bi", she's merely setting you up to cheat on you anyway, so the threesome would only start the timer on that earlier, vs. later. Can you think of any other reason why someone would need to claim to be bisexual while in the throes of a monogamous relationship, than the eventuality that she will cheat on you? She's already set you up for her to repeat "but I told you I was bisexual..." (as if that excuses anything...) I agree that it excuses nothing, and ive told her that. Cheating is cheating regaurdless of gender. Having said that, she does tell me it doesnt matter that shes bi, because im her type and the relationship supersedes her previous sexuality, if that makes sense. I guess i could keep cautious tho. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Augman Posted March 30, 2015 Author Share Posted March 30, 2015 Also, i do fairly agree with everything else said here, previous jealousy is clearly a warning sign, and ive thought for a long time that nothing truly adds up. Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 We've had a variety of threesomes, and they've been a lot of fun, and never any problems. Many people do have problems, particularly with jealousy. IMO, it's a lot easier to try swinging with another couple, so that if you BOTH decide to do this, you BOTH share the risks and responsibility of the decision, and BOTH get to experience someone new (even then, one may have more fun than the other, but that's always possible). If you can handle that, then you can probably handle a threesome scenario. Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Woah people are conservative here in this thread. Yes it can create issues but... at the same time, why all this conservativeness? Are we in the 50s? Link to post Share on other sites
jen1447 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Jealousy issues = not a good threesome candidate. btw, usually the middle letter is the universal receiver, so a threesome where two guys get with one girl but not each other would be a MFM. Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 You know, that threesome experience really brought us closer together... ...said no happy monogamous couple ever. As one person said, don't venture into the threesome territory unless your relationship is as stout as Ft. Knox. They can be fun for sure. But they open oh so many cans of worms that they just aren't worth it. Want you to think about this one thing: imagine your GF going on a three day vacation with a close guy friend. They're going to stay in the same hotel room but have twin beds. You cool with that? Well, after a threesome, that weekend with a girl friend or even that girls night out is going to feel similar. Not the same but similar. In the back of your mind, there will be that doubt. That doubt will grow. And nothing good will come of it. Threesomes are best had with a FWB. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
GorillaTheater Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Woah people are conservative here in this thread. Yes it can create issues but... at the same time, why all this conservativeness? Are we in the 50s? I don't know about you, but I've lost count of the threads I've seen created by folks who have encountered various relationship explosions because of a threesome. If that's any indicator, it just doesn't seem to be worth the risk. That, and the fact that we're all a bunch of Puritans. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
Mrin Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 The video response to this thread: https://screen.yahoo.com/bad-idea-jeans-000000942.html Link to post Share on other sites
elaine567 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Woah people are conservative here in this thread. Yes it can create issues but... at the same time, why all this conservativeness? Are we in the 50s? I don't think it is necessarily conservatism, it is more about answering the post and what is the best advice for the OP. 3 Link to post Share on other sites
central Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Well, the successful threesomes don't need posts to ask how to fix the problems. So who knows how many there are that work out? Those people just have more threesomes! Or go on to other fun things. Link to post Share on other sites
Diezel Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Woah people are conservative here in this thread. Yes it can create issues but... at the same time, why all this conservativeness? Are we in the 50s? We're definitely not in the 60's. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 Keep in mind both the OP and his GF are sexually inexperienced, and are probably wanting to experiment... I think the OP either needs to see it through, otherwise things could stagnate between them. Sure it might not bode well for the relationship, but **** you only live once and I think I speak for most guys saying that a threesome would be an awesome experience Isn't the OP in his young 20s too? Link to post Share on other sites
wb1988 Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 You know, that threesome experience really brought us closer together... ...said no happy monogamous couple ever. My first gf that I was with for a year (back when I was a dunce) said the same thing. She was all for a threesome and hinted that the 3rd person was going to be her female friend that I know. I knew that the experience was going to end the relationship so I decided to not do it. After a few months she broke up with me anyway. The reality is that a person never wants a third person involved unless they have low interest level with their current partner. Think about it, your' ereally into a girl, you're in a relationship for a while, would you want a third person (even another girl) in the picture? Of course no. Nobody wants to share someone that are into. But think if your not really into the person you're dating and you've dated a while, suddenly a third person doesn't sound so bad right? If I were you I would go for the threesome because you're relationship is going to be over anyway. 5 Link to post Share on other sites
road Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I have seen to many marriages and relationships end badly after a three some. 4 Link to post Share on other sites
edgygirl Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I can see that. It's just that I think it might be interesting too, and it saddens me to know it's a huge risk indeed. I know this couple who invited a beautiful girl in. I don't know what happened but what I do know is that the guy is now married to the other girl and dumped his previous girlfriend. So yeah, okay, I'll take what you guys are saying then :/ I don't know about you, but I've lost count of the threads I've seen created by folks who have encountered various relationship explosions because of a threesome. If that's any indicator, it just doesn't seem to be worth the risk. That, and the fact that we're all a bunch of Puritans. 2 Link to post Share on other sites
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