4blossoms Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 I met a guy on a ski trip a week ago through Meetup.com. I thought he seemed very friendly and we joked around a bit during the trip. He didn't ask me out or anything before the trip ended so I decided to send him a message on meetup inviting him out to coffee. It's been a week and I haven't heard back. My guess is that he's not interested but was wondering if it's possble that he might not have even seen the message? Do you usually get alerts if someone sends you a private message on meetup or do you log into the meetup website to see messages? I noticed he hasn't visited the meetup ski club page since the trip ended. Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted March 30, 2015 Share Posted March 30, 2015 By default you get an email notification but this can be turned off. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4blossoms Posted April 2, 2015 Author Share Posted April 2, 2015 Does anyone else turn off their message notifications on the meetup.com website? Link to post Share on other sites
fitnessfan365 Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Meetup is for singles that do activities together right? Kind of like, Events and Adventures? If that's the case, you can't really use the excuse that he didn't know you were single..LOL Unfortunately since he didn't ask you out, and you didn't have his contact info either, writing through the web site was the only option. But what I would've recommended is leaving your number in the message to take it off site. That way he could have actually called/texted you. Maybe since you didn't include a number, he didn't take it seriously? Or maybe he didn't get a notification like you're suggesting. Who knows. Since you talked with him a bit on the trip, did you get to know what some of his interests are? Maybe you could try to run into him again at another event. 1 Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4blossoms Posted April 2, 2015 Author Share Posted April 2, 2015 (edited) But what I would've recommended is leaving your number in the message to take it off site. That way he could have actually called/texted you. Maybe since you didn't include a number, he didn't take it seriously? Or maybe he didn't get a notification like you're suggesting. Who knows. Since you talked with him a bit on the trip, did you get to know what some of his interests are? Maybe you could try to run into him again at another event. Yes, definitely made a blunder there--didn't leave my phone number! Will not forget this next time! I'm assuming that if you're on meetup doing stuff with other singles you are most likely going to have the "notify me by email if I receive a private message" box checked. What single person does not want to receive email alerts for an attractive acquaintance that wants to invite them to coffee? Hmm...unless they get a lot of spam. The only silver lining is that the organizer may arrange a karaoke event for those that went on this ski trip. But he hasn't finalized any plans yet. I didn't exactly talk to this guy...more like made fun of where he lived (it was a fun, partying-type group that teased each other rather mercilessly). Might have struck out there again... Edited April 2, 2015 by 4blossoms Link to post Share on other sites
PegNosePete Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 (edited) Meetup is for singles that do activities together right? No, it's for anyone who wants to do any kind of activities with other people. Their marital status is irrelevant. It's not a dating or hookup site. Some groups are specifically for singles and some groups have rules such as no dating group members. The majority though, are simply ways of meeting people with shared interests. Often people have the list of groups they belong to, public viewable. So you might be able to see what other groups he's in, and see if he's going to any other events, which you could also go to and find him. It's a bit stalker-ish though. Chances are he got an email notification of the message you sent and if he was interested he probably would have replied. Edited April 2, 2015 by PegNosePete Link to post Share on other sites
angel.eyes Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 I didn't exactly talk to this guy...more like made fun of where he lived (it was a fun, partying-type group that teased each other rather mercilessly). Might have struck out there again... I suspect he isn't interested. Guys who like you try to spend time around you. That seems especially true at Meetup events. Somehow they're always next to you...like a cheap polyester suit.They'll generally chat you up. They'll try to extend the discussion beyond the meetup event. They'll try to get your contact info. They'll follow-up afterwards. They'll track you down on Facebook or LinkedIn. Since you really didn't talk to him during a rather long event, it doesn't look promising. You've sent him a message. So it's now clear that you're interested. He'll either respond or most likely he's not interested and he won't. If the guy actually liked you, not including your phone number wouldn't be a deal breaker. Trust me. He would just be thrilled to hear from you, and would run with it. A word of caution--don't make fun of someone, and especially where he lives, when you're trying to attract a guy. Someone is not going to be attracted to you when he's feeling offended, publicly belittled, criticized, etc. I'm sure it seemed fun and lighthearted to you, and the rest of the group had a great laugh at his expense, but I suspect he didn't see it that way. If you must make fun of someone, go the self-deprecation route. Link to post Share on other sites
barcode88 Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Meetup can be for any variety of things... There are singles groups, couples groups, etc. And some just overall activity groups that are geared more towards friendships. I'd say he's not interested. It will shoot off a notification (E-mail can be turned off though). Link to post Share on other sites
Auspecial Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 He probably just didn't see the message. I know people who can be on sites every day, and never see that they have notifications of messages. They just don't look. My email notifications are all turned off, because I have to weed through so much work email, that its just too much. I check my social sites for messages when I have time. I would check to see when he may be going on another trip, and hang out with him, and try to get a feel for what he thinks about you. You could ask "hey did you get my message?' Always a possibility that he isn't interested in going on a date with you, he may have gotten more interested in someone he was already dating, but I have a feeling he just didn't see the message. Link to post Share on other sites
wb1988 Posted April 2, 2015 Share Posted April 2, 2015 Meetup.com is almost entirely for those looking for platonic relationships. There are a few singles groups out there but I think most wouldn't have their hookup game face on in any non-singles group. Actually even if someone is romantically interested in another it's likely that they'd avoid pursuing it because their main focus is once again to make platonic relationships (e.g. you just moved to a new city). I wouldn't message via meetup, just try to meet up with that guy in real life. Link to post Share on other sites
Author 4blossoms Posted April 4, 2015 Author Share Posted April 4, 2015 Thanks for all the replies. I've gotten as many different opinions as responses! In this situation I guess it's up to fate whether anything happens! Link to post Share on other sites
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