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Why she text me this?


GTR King

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I am confused....

 

Been talking to this girl for nearly 3 months (Met her on tinder) all 4 dates went well.

 

Was meant to see her last Sunday & today...

 

She ignored my last 3 messages (That was last week) so heard nothing & thought the date was off & didn't text her at all as didn't wanna sound needy...

 

She texted me this today

 

Girl:

The reason I had gone quiet was because I knew full well you had no intentions of coming out my way to visit me it was always me having to go to Ipswich and I didn't want to be the one putting in all the effort so I thought I would see if you turned up today as you didn't that was my answer. No need to reply just wanted to give my explanation

 

Me:

I was gonna pick you up & take you out for the day today & I was really looking forward to it and wanted to make the effort.... But when I hadn't heard from you in a few days & no rely to my messages I thought you weren't interested & The date was off. I didn't wanna keep texting you as it sounds like I am pestering you etc... I really did like you & wanted see you again....

 

Was the right thing to say? Why she say that to me???

 

How can she ignore my messages then expect me to drive & pick her up... I don't know her address

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Not all the time.... I was gonna drive & pick her up today but she didn't contact me at all and i didn't know her address & heard nothing for 6 days so thought the date was off and didn't wanna keep texting/pestering her

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Not all the time.... I was gonna drive & pick her up today but she didn't contact me at all and i didn't know her address & heard nothing for 5 days so thought the date was off and didn't wanna keep pestering her....

 

My question is not about today.

 

In the past how many times out of those 4 dates she is the one who made the run around?

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If you know her number to text, you know her number to call.

it's utterly idiotic relying on texts when actually, you're both equipped with far more advanced methods of communication.

It's called 'a voice'.

 

For goodness' sake, use it!

 

Texts lead to confusion, misunderstandings and poor communication.

if you say what you mean, and mean what you say, all this rubbish can be avoided.

 

Jeesh.....:rolleyes::mad:

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in those 4 dates she came & see me in my home town which wasn't that far..... (only 20-30mins from her house)

 

So I thought I would go pick her up/come out to see her on the next few dates as she has come to see me....

Edited by GTR King
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I am confused....

 

Been talking to this girl for nearly 3 months (Met her on tinder) all 4 dates went well.

 

Was meant to see her last Sunday & today...

 

She ignored my last 3 messages (That was last week) so heard nothing & thought the date was off & didn't text her at all as didn't wanna sound needy...

 

She texted me this today

 

Girl:

The reason I had gone quiet was because I knew full well you had no intentions of coming out my way to visit me it was always me having to go to Ipswich and I didn't want to be the one putting in all the effort so I thought I would see if you turned up today as you didn't that was my answer. No need to reply just wanted to give my explanation

 

Me:

I was gonna pick you up & take you out for the day today & I was really looking forward to it and wanted to make the effort.... But when I hadn't heard from you in a few days & no rely to my messages I thought you weren't interested & The date was off. I didn't wanna keep texting you as it sounds like I am pestering you etc... I really did like you & wanted see you again....

 

Was the right thing to say? Why she say that to me???

 

How can she ignore my messages then expect me to drive & pick her up... I don't know her address

 

^^Because she didn't want to be viewed as the "bad guy" for blowing you off....so she "flipped the script" ...and attempted to make YOU the bad guy for not showing up!

 

Of course you did and said the right thing. NO man in his right mind would have gone to visit her after having had their last THREE messages ignored like that.

 

You were absolutely right to call her out on that... you were very nice about it too. If a guy ever did that to me, I might not have been so nice about it...because I don't tolerate manipulation like that - it pisses me off!

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Thanks for advice. I really did like her....

 

But she just wasting my time...

 

How can someone ignore my messages then expect me to turn up at her house when I don't even know where it is & heard nothing for 6 days really annoying.....

 

Gonna move on not being messed about

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fitnessfan365
^^Because she didn't want to be viewed as the "bad guy" for blowing you off....so she "flipped the script" ...and attempted to make YOU the bad guy for not showing up!

 

Of course you did and said the right thing. NO man in his right mind would have gone to visit her after having had their last THREE messages ignored like that.

 

You were absolutely right to call her out on that... you were very nice about it too. If a guy ever did that to me, I might not have been so nice about it...because I don't tolerate manipulation like that - it pisses me off!

 

Amen Katie!

 

Yeah GTR, you were right to call her on her BS. But then you played right into her hand and let yourself be emotionally manipulated. But I still say that it wasn't that much worth fighting for anyways. I mean this is a girl you saw only four times in three months. It sounds like you spent more time in a "phone-ship" than anything else. That's why you need to stop with all the texting and focus on women who will actually spend time with you in person.

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Yeah thanks for advice....

 

Went out last night & dance with girl most of the night and been texting her all day...

 

but this other girl not worth it anymore gonna move on & ignore her not being messed about

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My question is not about today.

 

In the past how many times out of those 4 dates she is the one who made the run around?

 

Gaeta, what does it matter who made the "run around"? She blew off his last THREE messages! And had not communicated with her in six days.

 

What did she expect? Of course, he is gonna think she lost interest...and the date was off!

 

Like I said, any man (or woman) would think the same thing.

 

Hell he doesn't even know where she lives. Sheesh!

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I knew what place she lived in but not her address...

 

She just strung me along & used me

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fitnessfan365
Yeah thanks for advice....

 

Went out last night & dance with girl most of the night and been texting her all day...

 

but this other girl not worth it anymore gonna move on & ignore her not being messed about

 

Well it's awesome you met a woman in real life for once! But you're still making the same mistake with all this BS texting that you do. Acting like a woman's texting buddy will get you friend zoned every time. You just need to cut to the chase, make plans to get together, and get off the phone.

 

I mean texting/calling to touch base from time to time between dates is cool. But that's it. The phone is mainly for logistics man.

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Thanks for advice :)

 

met her in town last night...

 

but gonna move on....

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Something drove her to ignore him. If a woman accepts 4 dates with a man it's because she likes him, something ignited her fit.

 

OP Said: in those 4 dates she came & see me in my home town which wasn't that far..... (only 20-30mins from her house)

 

So ALL of your dates she is the one who drove to your home town. WHY? Why did not ever drive her way?

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I did go on real dates

 

1st date was coffee (2hurs) I paid

 

2nd date meal (1 hour 30 mins) she chose restaurant...I paid

 

3rd date meal/cinema (4-5hurs) She paid for food I paid for film

 

4th date meal (2hurs) we went 50/50

 

5th date was gonna be pub lunch/walk near where she lives. was gonna pick her up & get her some flowers

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which wasn't that far..... (only 20-30mins from her house)

 

Let me break it down for you.

 

30 mins X 2 (round trip) = 1 hour

 

4 Dates X 1 hour = 4 hours of driving

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Yeah but i was gonna make the effort to see her & not let her keep coming to see me all the time etc

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My question is still the same:

 

Why did not ever drive her way?

 

That is what made her mad at you. She has been slowly resenting you for not driving her way.

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I dont understand how you date someone for nearly 3 months and not know her address?

 

I would have gave up after she ignored the messages as well, but her coming to you on all the previous dates seems to be a growing trend.

 

I keep hearing women complain about this very thing over and over, yet for them to complain about it, means women keep doing it. I dont understand how guys like that continually get women to ignore the obvious red flags.

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Yeah but i was gonna make the effort to see her & not let her keep coming to see me all the time etc

 

GTR I don't care what you were gonna do.

 

WHY in the past 4 dates you never drove her way?

 

I use to teach kindergarten, don't worry I have patience, if I have to ask 100 times I will.

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well i was gonna drive & see her...

 

But when we suggested the dates etc I did suggest about going to seeing her & do something near her but she said it would be better to come see me (As it was a week night). but then I suggested to see her this Sunday & pick her up but she ignored my messages so thought the date was off

Edited by GTR King
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fitnessfan365
I did go on real dates

 

1st date was coffee (2hurs) I paid

 

2nd date meal (1 hour 30 mins) she chose restaurant...I paid

 

3rd date meal/cinema (4-5hurs) She paid for food I paid for film

 

4th date meal (2hurs) we went 50/50

 

5th date was gonna be pub lunch/walk near where she lives. was gonna pick her up & get her some flowers

 

Yeah but those four dates happened over THREE MONTHS. You spent the majority of the time texting with her in a "phone-ship".

 

When starting out with a woman, you should be seeing her once a week. Then when things get a bit more serious, it increases to 2x a week. Then as it gets more serious, 3x, etc.. But the fact that you just barely averaged one date a month means it was never really much to get upset over anyways. Texting is not dating!

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well i was gonna drive & see her...

 

But when we suggested the dates etc I did suggest about going to seeing her & do something near her but she said it would be better to come see me (As it was a week night). but then I suggested to see her this Sunday & pick her up but she ignored my messages so thought the date was off

 

I think you are trying to not answer my question.

 

So each date you offered to drive her way but she declined?

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Well you are right and we didn't text much...

 

I did offer to see her more but she kept saying she was busy how about this date etc....

 

I wanted to see her more.

 

On 4th date I suggested to go somewhere near her but she declined & said go ipswich (Near me)...

 

That's my answer

Edited by GTR King
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