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Ladies of loveshack, I need your honest input


bigmouthfml

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bigmouthfml

I've been hanging out with this girl for 2 months. She'd come over my place and we would hang out for hours (6-7 hours a time), once a week. She was hanging out with me under a situation with very, very blurred lines in which we could not really express our interest, but we clearly had some interest in one another.

 

The last 4 times we hung out, we began get more physical, cuddling, exchanging kisses on the face (no lip kisses) after we were done meeting for business.

 

I had been going for a mouth kiss at least 40 times since we started getting physical and she turned her face every time. I asked her if she wanted to hang out outside of my place one day on an actual date, and she said sure.

After that I went for a kiss, she turned her face again...keep in mind we are cuddling on the couch. After a few minutes, I had enough. Told her I'm gonna tell her what I really think of her and told her I think she's a stupid whore and has gotten uglier each time I've seen her and I told her to leave my place. I felt like she was just using me as her emotional tampon.

 

I immediately regretted what I said and tried to apologize, and it did not work, she wanted to leave.

 

I sent her a few texts the next day apologizing for what I said. She ignored them. Sent an email saying I said all that because I was mad she wouldn't kiss me and felt like she was teasing me.

 

She replied saying she thinks I'm really cool, accepts my apology, but that she can't hang out with me again because what I said. She said she would have let me kiss her on the lips if we were out on actual date but that she wanted to remain professional and thought she was crossing an inappropriate line by letting me kiss her. She said she thinks the "moment is lost" or whatever the hell that means after what I said.

 

I knew it probably was not salvageable, but I fired another email. Told her I really enjoyed her company, bla bla. and it's a missed opportunity if we let an out of the ordinary situation that blurred things interfere with hanging out. Told her if she doesn't want to see me again, that's fine, but if she changes her mind, I'll take you out to eat somewhere nice and bla bla bla.

 

2 days, no reply.

 

Not going to contact her again but wondering if there is anything I can say or do to get her to completely forgive me enough to hang out. We actually got along very, very well.

 

I don't think staying no contact is gonna do anything. What I did was too terrible. The thing is, I don't want to seem desperate. But I know I screwed this up and I actually like the girl. And I want to make this right.

 

Any ladies have any legit ideas of what would work on them?

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lana-banana

It sounds like she was afraid kissing on the lips would lead to sex, which she was trying to avoid for whatever reason (perhaps she didn't feel like she knew you well enough? Maybe she was unclear on boundaries? Maybe she was confused by your professional obligations?). Given that you seem to work together I don't blame her for being uncertain. You should have asked what she thought and been clear about your intentions. Instead you called her a stupid whore. You also used the phrase "emotional tampon", an utterly vulgar and nasty expression I'd never even seen until I read posts from misogynistic guys in this site. There is nothing in the world that would make me give you another chance.

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bigmouthfml
There is nothing in the world that would make me give you another chance.

 

I know...i really screwed up but I am hoping someone can help me out.

 

Do you have any idea what I could text or email her without seeming desperate?

 

I already emailed her telling her I wouldn't contact her again after offering to make it up to her by taking her to a nice restaurant and an opera...no reply

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No chance..

 

If a man got verbally abusive with me before we'd ever even been on a date, he would never get a date. Ever.

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Fleur de cactus

I think she was interested in you but she wanted to wait as she may think that the kiss may lead to sex and maybe she did not want to play around with sex and later on to break the relationship. She probably wanted to hear more and talk about the relationship, to hear how much you are interested in her, before to be very connected and going a little deep.

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bigmouthfml
No chance..

 

If a man got verbally abusive with me before we'd ever even been on a date, he would never get a date. Ever.

 

Look, I totally understand that.

 

If I hung out with her again, I'd never do that again. That I promise.

 

It's just I felt like she was teasing me...touching me sexually, kissing me on the cheek, laying on me...but when I go for a kiss, turn your face? I handled everything in a very immature way.

 

I just wish I could tell her to give me another chance without seeming desperate or crazy

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amaysngrace

She used you as an emotional tampon.

 

That's what I think.

 

So why do you want to date her again?

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bigmouthfml
She used you as an emotional tampon.

 

That's what I think.

 

So why do you want to date her again?

 

I'll tell you why,

 

I've hung out with 30+ girls since august of breaking up with an ex, and she's the first girl I genuinely enjoyed spending time with and missed seeing.

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amaysngrace
I'll tell you why,

 

I've hung out with 30+ girls since august of breaking up with an ex, and she's the first girl I genuinely enjoyed spending time with and missed seeing.

 

She never even kissed you. That's why you're intrigued.

 

She played hard to get so your best bet to ever have another chance with her is to ignore her completely. That's the only way to beat her at her own game.

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bigmouthfml
She never even kissed you. That's why you're intrigued.

 

She played hard to get so your best bet to ever have another chance with her is to ignore her completely. That's the only way to beat her at her own game.

 

Yeah, she would text other guys in front of me or talk about how her ex just texted her...trying to get a reaction out of me I think, but I never acted like it bothered me...keep in mind, we were just hanging out for business and things just got blurred

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amaysngrace
Yeah, she would text other guys in front of me or talk about how her ex just texted her...trying to get a reaction out of me I think, but I never acted like it bothered me...keep in mind, we were just hanging out for business and things just got blurred

 

You have to ignore her out of work and if you see her at work just keep it as platonic as possible. Don't ask anything personal or mention anything from any time you two spent together.

 

Keep it strictly business.

 

And take somebody new to dinner if the opportunity presents itself.

 

It's all you can do now.

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hoping2heal
Look, I totally understand that.

 

If I hung out with her again, I'd never do that again. That I promise.

It's just I felt like she was teasing me...touching me sexually, kissing me on the cheek, laying on me...but when I go for a kiss, turn your face? I handled everything in a very immature way.

 

I just wish I could tell her to give me another chance without seeming desperate or crazy

 

I'm sure you tell yourself that, but the fact that you didn't even have the self-control to avoid doing it in the first place pretty much says "fat chance".

 

I would let it go because I can't imagine why she'd want to give you another chance. Your lack of control over your temper is a problem.

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No there is nothing you can say at this point. You have already said that you think she is a stupid bitch for not instantly welcoming your attentions. That, my friend, says more than most people want to know. She knows what you really are on the inside and there is no coming back from that.

 

You are the guy who spews venom the instant he doesn't get his way, no woman ever wants that.

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If they turn their head when you try to kiss them for even the first time, they are not attracted to you and probably never will be. This is so true, it's been referred to as the kiss test. You are in the freindzone.

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Told her I'm gonna tell her what I really think of her and told her I think she's a stupid whore and has gotten uglier each time I've seen her and I told her to leave my place.

 

She replied saying she thinks I'm really cool,

 

Bwahahaha :lmao::lmao::lmao: that's an awesome insult! At least you know how to really twist the knife after you stab her with it.

 

But wait, after that she thinks you're really cool? Damn, after what you said... she's a keeper. Very classy girl.

 

The correct response would have been to simply ask how she feels about you, why she's willing to cuddle with you but won't kiss. Maybe you could have figured out her reservation and both of you could have worked it out. But you were like, hell no! I'm going to slam dunk this chick. :cool::cool::cool:

Edited by PogoStick
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You said this;

 

Told her I'm gonna tell her what I really think of her and told her I think she's a stupid whore and has gotten uglier each time I've seen her and I told her to leave my place.
:eek:

 

and then wonder why she's ignoring you?

 

Next time keep your brains out of your trousers and treat a woman with a bit of respect.

She dodged a bullet.

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You ruined the moment

hurt her feelings so bad

 

she was just shy and you called her a whore

 

 

Really

 

Nobody wants a guy who acts like this when he get rejected

 

it's not cool at all, but you just showed her your true face; why would she ever get back to your true

you...

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op, you are right, it cannot be salvaged. If someone spoke to me that way, I would never forget it. Why on earth would you attempt to kiss her, what was it, 40 times? Why would you keep trying if she turned her head away EVERY time. I mean for me, after once, I would back right off. That is bizarre. I don't think she ever saw it as romance.

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bigmouthfml
You ruined the moment

hurt her feelings so bad

 

she was just shy and you called her a whore

 

 

Really

 

Nobody wants a guy who acts like this when he get rejected

 

it's not cool at all, but you just showed her your true face; why would she ever get back to your true

you...

 

Oh and teasing a guy, pretending to be into him with intimate touching, face kissing, biting my neck and ear licking is all good? Let's just tease him and reject him.

 

This girl is no mary poppins. I'll tell you guys that much. She is used to be touched by plenty of men, so that added more to it.

 

Thanks for all the advice. I'm thinking the best thing to do is go NC or to insult her again.

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She's only told you that she thinks you are a cool guy to dampen the fact she won't see you again.

If you can be that verbally abusive then she has no idea what else you might be capable of.

 

 

My guess is she sensed that there was another side to you and she was just waiting for that side to appear.

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She's only told you that she thinks you are a cool guy to dampen the fact she won't see you again.

If you can be that verbally abusive then she has no idea what else you might be capable of.

 

 

My guess is she sensed that there was another side to you and she was just waiting for that side to appear.

 

My guess is she's getting an AVO, it would be top of my list. ;)

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bigmouthfml
My guess is she's getting an AVO, it would be top of my list. ;)

 

most girls i meet are polar opposites of you girls here

 

take a chill pill

 

life aint all flowers

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most girls i meet are polar opposites of you girls here

 

take a chill pill

 

life aint all flowers

 

Then why did you not ask them but instead came here?

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My honest input is that your behaviour was absolutely repulsive and abusive, and that any woman that even considers tolerating it needs some help.

 

 

On that note...I seriously suggest you get some counselling to help you get your angry and immature tendencies to go on hateful rants when you don't get what you want under control. A normal, well adjusted person would have sat down and had a conversation...you didn't even get close to that. The fact that you are now considering abusing this woman once again is concerning.

 

Sort yourself out.

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