Dating girl from Philippines

[VedderisBetter]

I am an open minded person when it comes to different races of people. I met a Filipino girl on match who's been in US for about 5 years. She got her degree in Philippines and cane her to get away from her ex husband. Does this seem sketchy to you? She's kinda cute and as long as I'm not going to get involved in Filipino drug wars I'm not worried.

[Michelle ma Belle]

Have you met in person yet or just communicating online?

 

If she has an ex-husband where she felt the need to leave her home country and travel thousands of miles just to get away from him, perhaps that is something worth considering.

 

I don't know that it qualifies as sketchy as much as it is a cause for concern.

 

Tread carefully.

[Buddhist]

You should know two things

 

1. If she's married in the Phillipines the chances of her ever getting a divorce are none without huge sums of money to bribe officials with. That's the way it goes. She can never marry again.

2. Research the social customs of the Phillipines particularly with regard to what her expectations of you supporting her family are going to be if you get serious.

 

That is all. If you haven't yet met anywhere other than online then she could just be a scam too.

[SawtoothMars]

I am an open minded person when it comes to different races of people. I met a Filipino girl on match who's been in US for about 5 years. She got her degree in Philippines and cane her to get away from her ex husband. Does this seem sketchy to you? She's kinda cute and as long as I'm not going to get involved in Filipino drug wars I'm not worried.

 

My wife is from Vietnam... and while that isn't the same thing there are a few similarities.

 

She was in medical school in Vietnam and came to the US to gain experience and do volunteer work. I met her in the hospital and asked her out. We dated for a while and then got married within 1 year. I cannot count the number of people who tried to tell me she just wanted a green card. Well, she has all that stuff now.... it's been 5 years and we are still super happily married.

 

Frankly, I think a lot of white girls hate on asian women because they can't compete. So don't pay much attention to the bitter old biddy brigade.

[carhill]

No harm in socializing; that said, I'd save anything more serious for once she's a naturalized citizen. She's been here five years, presumably legally. See how it goes. Time usually reveals all truths. Pay careful attention to BC if sexual.

[Ninjainpajamas]

My wife is from Vietnam... and while that isn't the same thing there are a few similarities.

 

She was in medical school in Vietnam and came to the US to gain experience and do volunteer work. I met her in the hospital and asked her out. We dated for a while and then got married within 1 year. I cannot count the number of people who tried to tell me she just wanted a green card. Well, she has all that stuff now.... it's been 5 years and we are still super happily married.

 

Frankly, I think a lot of white girls hate on asian women because they can't compete. So don't pay much attention to the bitter old biddy brigade.

 

Yeah but you have to realize what they stand to gain, as much as you want to think of it as just an international romance, the reality is life isn't known to be easy in the Philippines or Vietnam, it's a huge win to land themselves a white guy from a top tier country, that opens up lots of doors...that's the jackpot of jackpots, not just for them but their families.

 

I'm not saying that's why she loves you, but she's only human and it is a huge bonus...you were married within a year, she's got a green card and now can apply for citizenship after a number of years, do you think she doesn't want this relationship to last until at least then? Then she can bring in other family members and what not if necessary in the future.

 

You could be far from the perfect guy, but she wouldn't let you know that, she'd grow to love you and I'm not saying she isn't genuinely committed, but you've got to be a fool of naive to think other factors didn't influence her decision...and you seem to be on the naive side.

 

You underestimate the ability and cleverness of women if the thought didn't even cross your mind.

 

I actually do know of a guy who works in the Philippines, whom met a woman half his age, whom treats him like a king, he makes good money and says he lives in paradise...while he foots the bills and helps her out in so many ways but believes she's head over heels in love with him (the guy is not an ideal hunk) and thinks anyone saying any different just doesn't understand, he claims she just loves him for who he is...there's always a common theme at play here...just saying.

Edited March 26, 2015 by Ninjainpajamas

[SawtoothMars]

Yeah but you have to realize what they stand to gain, as much as you want to think of it as just an international romance, the reality is life isn't known to be easy in the Philippines or Vietnam, it's a huge win to land themselves a white guy from a top tier country, that opens up lots of doors...that's the jackpot of jackpots, not just for them but their families.

I'm not saying that's why she loves you, but she's only human and it is a huge bonus...you were married within a year, she's got a green card and now can apply for citizenship after a number of years, do you think she doesn't want this relationship to last until at least then? Then she can bring in other family members and what not if necessary in the future.

You could be far from the perfect guy, but she wouldn't let you know that, she'd grow to love you and I'm not saying she isn't genuinely committed, but you've got to be a fool of naive to think other factors didn't influence her decision...and you seem to be on the naive side.

You underestimate the ability and cleverness of women if the thought didn't even cross your mind.

I actually do know of a guy who works in the Philippines, whom met a woman half his age, whom treats him like a king, he makes good money and says he lives in paradise...while he foots the bills and helps her out in so many ways but believes she's head over heels in love with him (the guy is not an ideal hunk) and thinks anyone saying any different just doesn't understand, he claims she just loves him for who he is...there's always a common theme at play here...just saying.

 

Yeah... this is 99% bull$hit. It's used to scare guys off the international market. America is chock full of bimbo gold digger types. It shouldn't be s shock that other countries have them too.

 

My wife in particular comes from a RICH family, and catholic. They paid CASH to fly my whole family over for the wedding. She has some family that is high ranking in the government, and her parents own a thriving business. Plus, they are Catholic and have all those same attitudes on divorce. My wife is a physician... and if she wanted could have left me 3 years ago... supported herself AND still got citizenship. Also... I don't mean to brag, but I have never struggled with women.

 

Fact is that if a woman wants to scam a guy just to get citizenship... she will more likely pick a man from Vietnam or the Philippines to scam. There are TONS of these guys available and they are much easier to deal with.

 

In reality there is no statistical difference between the divorce rate of men who marry local American women vs. women from Asia.

[preraph]

Don't give her any money or even agree to talk about your money with her and see how long she persists. She could be perfectly nice, but as another poster said, she may be legally married to him and that might not ever change. But you do have to be careful. Certainly you can't generalize, but my cousin married a girl from there and she has done nothing but send his money back to her country ever since and also use it to bring them here. He lost a leg in a tragic accident, and he got his insurance check while still in the hospital and she sent it to her country allegedly to pay for a funeral. I told my aunt to ask her how they were planning on paying for the funeral before her husband lost his leg. To her, being an American's wife is her job and she does do housework and cook, I think, but she feels entitled to all his earnings and puts nothing else into the household.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Yeah... this is 99% bull$hit. It's used to scare guys off the international market. America is chock full of bimbo gold digger types. It shouldn't be s shock that other countries have them too.

 

My wife in particular comes from a RICH family, and catholic. They paid CASH to fly my whole family over for the wedding. She has some family that is high ranking in the government, and her parents own a thriving business. Plus, they are Catholic and have all those same attitudes on divorce. My wife is a physician... and if she wanted could have left me 3 years ago... supported herself AND still got citizenship. Also... I don't mean to brag, but I have never struggled with women.

 

Fact is that if a woman wants to scam a guy just to get citizenship... she will more likely pick a man from Vietnam or the Philippines to scam. There are TONS of these guys available and they are much easier to deal with.

 

In reality there is no statistical difference between the divorce rate of men who marry local American women vs. women from Asia.

 

You don't get it hotshot, it's not just your love on the table that's part of the package deal, and that's what it is...a package deal. You realize how many wealthy people would buy a citizenship if they could?

 

In fact just last week it was all over the news how the Feds busted a ring of Chinese, that would help WEALTHY Chinese women, come to the states just give birth to their child...they paid lots of money to make this happen, but it's worth it due to the loopholes of having automatic citizenship of their children being born here and being able to move over money and family here down the road...the citizenship would enable them extra perks if you will.

 

So it's a very real thing happening in the world, you just don't seem like the most worldly aware guy out there and you live in this fog of only knowing life in the US and money is the only thing that counts...that if you're rich, oh well, same difference...never mind government, corruption and other things you never deal with here.

 

I'm not saying she's not a catch, or married you under a pretense to do so, but you're real world retarded if you think she didn't come out ahead in this process...just because she worked here does not mean she could gain legal status....that process could take years and years...OR get married and bam overnight there it is...much easier.

[SycamoreCircle]

"Originally from the Philippines/I love the way she fill her jeans..."

 

-MF Doom

[Buddhist]

I didn't make my post over some jealousy that men are dating Asian ladies. This isn't a new phenomena, white men have been marrying Asian women for the better part of a century. Good luck to them, if an Asian lady is what they desire. It makes no difference to me personally, what their choice of wife is.

 

But, if you are going to date cross-cultural you need to put in some effort in understanding the cultural differences because East\West culture is very different. There will be expectations on both sides. I pointed out two considerations about dating a married woman from the Philipines.

 

Divorce does not exist in the Philipines unless the husband is proven to be mentally incapacitated. Once married there, you are married for life. Their legal system is notorious for this. Foreign divorces are not recognised either. Now if the OP doesn't mind her personal circumstances knowing they will never change, then there's no problem. But it would be a shame for him to be thinking that she can be divorced and then possibly marry him because the odds of that happening are so close to zero it's just not funny.

 

The Last Country in the World Where Divorce Is Illegal | Foreign Policy

 

It's a good idea for anyone serious about someone from a foreign culture to understand the culture and the expectations that come with it. It's naive to expect an Eastern born and raised person to instantly adopt your values and culture. Family is extremely important in Eastern culture and sons and daughters are expected to care for the elders and sometimes extended family too. If you are serious about the person, you'll have to accomodate this because it will be a core value for them. It has nothing to do with thinking this particular woman has an ulterior motive and everything to do with going into a cross-cultural relationship with your eyes open.

 

Scams? Yes that's common too. Often criminal gangs run profiles of attractive looking women on dating sites hoping to sucker in men and extract money. It's common enough there are warnings everywhere about it. Until you meet the person, it could still be a possibility. That goes for every profile on a dating site of any nationality and gender.

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

You don't get it hotshot, it's not just your love on the table that's part of the package deal, and that's what it is...a package deal. You realize how many wealthy people would buy a citizenship if they could?

 

In fact just last week it was all over the news how the Feds busted a ring of Chinese, that would help WEALTHY Chinese women, come to the states just give birth to their child...they paid lots of money to make this happen, but it's worth it due to the loopholes of having automatic citizenship of their children being born here and being able to move over money and family here down the road...the citizenship would enable them extra perks if you will.

 

So it's a very real thing happening in the world, you just don't seem like the most worldly aware guy out there and you live in this fog of only knowing life in the US and money is the only thing that counts...that if you're rich, oh well, same difference...never mind government, corruption and other things you never deal with here.

 

I'm not saying she's not a catch, or married you under a pretense to do so, but you're real world retarded if you think she didn't come out ahead in this process...just because she worked here does not mean she could gain legal status....that process could take years and years...OR get married and bam overnight there it is...much easier.

 

Wow, Ninja...thanks for writing this enlightening - and FRIGHTENING - post. I mean, I've heard of women in foreign countries trying to get with U.S. guys so they can gain citizenship and such...but I never knew a lot of them are this conniving and deceitful!!! Does this work the other way around as well, if a foreign guy wanted to get with a woman from the U.S. for them to carry out these ulterior motives? Or is it just limited to foreign women tricking men from the U.S.?

 

After having read your post, if I was a guy, I would absolutely not EVER date any women from certain foreign countries, no matter how "beautiful" or "submissive" they are! Even knowing some of their cultural customs, although they don't involve scamming money or citizenship, it's still very frightening what some guys don't know about what they could be in for, should they marry a foreign woman. I don't think any guy - unless he loves her to death - is going to envision having a foreign woman's parents, grandparents or other relatives living under the same roof as them while she takes care of them as being something he looks forward to experiencing. I certainly wouldn't.

 

 

.

Edited March 27, 2015 by BlackOpsZombieGirl

[Buddhist]

Wow, Ninja...thanks for writing this enlightening - and FRIGHTENING - post.:

 

Does this work the other way around as well, if a foreign guy wanted to get with a woman from the U.S. for them to carry out these ulterior motives? Or is it just limited to foreign women tricking men from the U.S.?

 

After having read your post, if I was a guy, I would absolutely not EVER date any

.

 

To answer, yes absolutely there are plenty of foreign men who are only too happy to be someone's perfect husband for life advantage. I was actually approached at work by a handsome young french man seeking a visa and was quite prepared to earn it. He laid his cards on the table that he was seeking a visa marriage but he also laid out what he was prepared to do to get it. And he's from a first world country.

 

To be honest, I don't even count it as being deceitful when the person concerned is from a poor country where their most likely occupation is to be someone's wife anyway. Might as well be a foreigner's wife and live a better life. For many women from these countries it's a viable career option. University education is often the minimum to get even a base level job and the competition for those jobs is intense. It's just a different way of life, they do not have the same career options as we do and in many of these countries there is no such thing as anti-discrimination laws. They can be made to resign when they get married, get pregnant or even just get too old (35yrs). Getting into a top tier job is a matter of family connections, money exchanges and the like. There is no job security and they will be paid less than men no matter what work they are engaged in or how good their qualifications. It's just an unfair world for them and being self made is not an option given the system they work in.

 

Not all foreign wives are seeking advantage but at the end of the day this was how marriages used to work. Originally marriage was always about advantage and fortune, it's the true style of marriage. Love marriage is a very recent thing.

 

Immigration laws are so strict with sponsorships now, not just to prevent foreigners taking advantage but to prevent a black market for visa's arising from locals with the right passport. In my country sponsoring from any Asian country is incredibly difficult, and takes years in which you need very convincing evidence of a real relationship. Visa's have been denied even when the couple have children. Curiously in many Asian countries the Western partner is never granted citizenship in their own right, the best they get is an extended work visa that must be reassessed and renewed every 12 months. As soon as your marriage dissolves you have no right of stay in that country. Western countries are generally the only ones that give permanent visa status to foreign partners.

Edited March 27, 2015 by Buddhist

[BlackOpsZombieGirl]

To answer, yes absolutely there are plenty of foreign men who are only too happy to be someone's perfect husband for life advantage. I was actually approached at work by a handsome young french man seeking a visa and was quite prepared to earn it. He laid his cards on the table that he was seeking a visa marriage but he also laid out what he was prepared to do to get it. And he's from a first world country.

 

To be honest, I don't even count it as being deceitful when the person concerned is from a poor country where their most likely occupation is to be someone's wife anyway. Might as well be a foreigner's wife and live a better life. For many women from these countries it's a viable career option. University education is often the minimum to get even a base level job and the competition for those jobs is intense. It's just a different way of life, they do not have the same career options as we do and in many of these countries there is no such thing as anti-discrimination laws. They can be made to resign when they get married, get pregnant or even just get too old (35yrs). Getting into a top tier job is a matter of family connections, money exchanges and the like. There is no job security and they will be paid less than men no matter what work they are engaged in or how good their qualifications. It's just an unfair world for them and being self made is not an option given the system they work in.

 

Not all foreign wives are seeking advantage but at the end of the day this was how marriages used to work. Originally marriage was always about advantage and fortune, it's the true style of marriage. Love marriage is a very recent thing.

 

Immigration laws are so strict with sponsorships now, not just to prevent foreigners taking advantage but to prevent a black market for visa's arising from locals with the right passport. In my country sponsoring from any Asian country is incredibly difficult, and takes years in which you need very convincing evidence of a real relationship. Visa's have been denied even when the couple have children. Curiously in many Asian countries the Western partner is never granted citizenship in their own right, the best they get is an extended work visa that must be reassessed and renewed every 12 months. As soon as your marriage dissolves you have no right of stay in that country. Western countries are generally the only ones that give permanent visa status to foreign partners.

 

I never realized how bad some foreign women have it in their country. No wonder a lot of them are scrambling to form a friendship or a relationship with any guy from the United States. But if I were a guy, I would never know if a foreign woman really loved me and really wanted to be with me for ME, or if she just wanted to be with me so she could gain an economic advantage and future career opportunities in my country. I still stand by what I said earlier, that if I was a guy, I'd only date women from the U.S. Even as a woman, I will only date guys that either live in the U.S. or in Canada. Relationships and things are just less complicated that way.

 

 

.

[marigo]

I was from the Philippines. There are no divorce laws over there. There is annulment. It's a long and expensive process so a lot of couples would just part ways without being "legally separated." With that said, be careful because there is a big chance that yes she is separated from her ex husband but legally is still married to him. There are some crazy/bad people over there so she may really just be wanting to be away from her ex husband for her own safety. The girl may genuinely just be looking for love but still be careful.

 

I'm a US citizen now through my parents. I've been here over 12 years. The guys I've dated even before my citizenship have been white simply because I am attracted to them and get along with them easily. Gaining citizenship from it never even crossed my mind.

Edited March 27, 2015 by marigo

[ascendotum]

I was from the Philippines. There are no divorce laws over there. There is annulment. It's a long and expensive process so a lot of couples would just part ways without being "legally separated." With that said, be careful because there is a big chance that yes she is separated from her ex husband but legally is still married to him. There are some crazy/bad people over there so she may really just be wanting to be away from her ex husband for her own safety.

 

So if she was still married to some guy back in Philippines, how would that impact any guy over in the states...assuming she's told him her background but the local US government don't know anything about her prior life back home. I can't see the US courts would allow her old foreigner husband to come to live in the in her house in the US in 10 yrs time if he tracked her down or if he wanted to sell their house to claim his share or wanted to take any children she had back to the Philippines.

[Buddhist]

So if she was still married to some guy back in Philippines, how would that impact any guy over in the states...assuming she's told him her background but the local US government don't know anything about her prior life back home. I can't see the US courts would allow her old foreigner husband to come to live in the in her house in the US in 10 yrs time if he tracked her down or if he wanted to sell their house to claim his share or wanted to take any children she had back to the Philippines.

 

How would she be legally resident in the US for the past 5yrs if she didn't already have her own visa? Can that be done? I'm unfamiliar with your immigration laws.

[SawtoothMars]

You don't get it hotshot, it's not just your love on the table that's part of the package deal, and that's what it is...a package deal. You realize how many wealthy people would buy a citizenship if they could?

In fact just last week it was all over the news how the Feds busted a ring of Chinese, that would help WEALTHY Chinese women, come to the states just give birth to their child...they paid lots of money to make this happen, but it's worth it due to the loopholes of having automatic citizenship of their children being born here and being able to move over money and family here down the road...the citizenship would enable them extra perks if you will.

So it's a very real thing happening in the world, you just don't seem like the most worldly aware guy out there and you live in this fog of only knowing life in the US and money is the only thing that counts...that if you're rich, oh well, same difference...never mind government, corruption and other things you never deal with here.

I'm not saying she's not a catch, or married you under a pretense to do so, but you're real world retarded if you think she didn't come out ahead in this process...just because she worked here does not mean she could gain legal status....that process could take years and years...OR get married and bam overnight there it is...much easier.

 

It costs $500,000 to get a citizenship straight up.

 

Most people pay between $10,000-$30,000 for a fake marriage. Hell, most Hispanics just run the damn border and get access to everything we do as citizens.

 

The Chinese Birth Tourism is expensive for a number of reasons. They are not sure whether the US will stop fake marriages in the future, they need medical care while here which is costly, and they save tons when their kids attend US colleges. So technically the whole thing saves them money long term.

 

You seem to think that citizenship is some Willy Wonka style golden ticket that everybody wants. It isn't. It's worth about the price of your car and that's it.

[marigo]

So if she was still married to some guy back in Philippines, how would that impact any guy over in the states...assuming she's told him her background but the local US government don't know anything about her prior life back home. I can't see the US courts would allow her old foreigner husband to come to live in the in her house in the US in 10 yrs time if he tracked her down or if he wanted to sell their house to claim his share or wanted to take any children she had back to the Philippines.

 

I dont know the legal documentation they ask before getting married here. But technically she can get married it just wont be valid. As far as her ex husband tracking her down or wanting to claim a house they share, unfortunately it depends on her immigration status in the US. Unless she's a citizen or a permanent resident (Green Card holder), I don't think the US courts can really be involved.

[marigo]

How would she be legally resident in the US for the past 5yrs if she didn't already have her own visa? Can that be done? I'm unfamiliar with your immigration laws.

 

She has to have a US visa to be able to enter the US. As far as being a legal resident, there are so many possibilities. She could've been petitioned by a relative or family member. She could've been sent/transferred here by her company to work (very common). She could be in graduate school as an international student and therefore, has a student visa. But definitely needs her own visa to legally reside here.

[SawtoothMars]

Wow, Ninja...thanks for writing this enlightening - and FRIGHTENING - post. I mean, I've heard of women in foreign countries trying to get with U.S. guys so they can gain citizenship and such...but I never knew a lot of them are this conniving and deceitful!!! Does this work the other way around as well, if a foreign guy wanted to get with a woman from the U.S. for them to carry out these ulterior motives? Or is it just limited to foreign women tricking men from the U.S.?

After having read your post, if I was a guy, I would absolutely not EVER date any women from certain foreign countries, no matter how "beautiful" or "submissive" they are! Even knowing some of their cultural customs, although they don't involve scamming money or citizenship, it's still very frightening what some guys don't know about what they could be in for, should they marry a foreign woman. I don't think any guy - unless he loves her to death - is going to envision having a foreign woman's parents, grandparents or other relatives living under the same roof as them while she takes care of them as being something he looks forward to experiencing. I certainly wouldn't..

 

Yeah... you clearly didn't read anything I wrote. Look... the divorce rate for marrying foreign women is currently at 20%... which WAY better than the 51% divorce rate for marrying American women.

 

There are some cultural differences. For example, I DO expect my mother and father in law to move in with us some day. I have a 5,000sq ft house with a mother-in-law suite attached, and they will take care of the kids while we work. I suppose I could shell out $3000 a month for daycare like every other schmuck...

 

I was from the Philippines. There are no divorce laws over there. There is annulment. It's a long and expensive process so a lot of couples would just part ways without being "legally separated." With that said, be careful because there is a big chance that yes she is separated from her ex husband but legally is still married to him. There are some crazy/bad people over there so she may really just be wanting to be away from her ex husband for her own safety. The girl may genuinely just be looking for love but still be careful.

I'm a US citizen now through my parents. I've been here over 12 years. The guys I've dated even before my citizenship have been white simply because I am attracted to them and get along with them easily. Gaining citizenship from it never even crossed my mind.

 

This is actually the truth. Very few women could really give a $hit about a US Citizenship. They want to marry a good man. Also... the ones that look for white guys usually are also very interested in getting away from the gender expectations of their own culture.

 

In many asian cultures they actually have expectations for women.

[GoBlue]

I'm not sure that "she's kinda cute" is the best way to enter into a relationship. There's a whole lot of factors to consider when thinking about a serious dating relationship. The fact that she is from another country and has been through a divorce are two things that add to the dynamic and should be looked at closely. Good luck.

[wizer]

Filipinno women are relatively quiet and submissive, I dated one for a couple of years.

 

She'd do anything I wanted. Facials, anal, you name it.

 

Definitely worth a shot.

[wb1988]

came here to get away from her ex husband.

 

One day when you wake up next to the Filipino girl at night and find your head held up by her ex-husband at least you can say "well, I can't say that I didn't see this coming" right before he slashes your neck