Why is height often a deal breaker for girls?

[RenegadeMonster]

I'm not tall, but I wouldn't say that I'm short either and close to average height being between somewhere between 5'8" and 5'9".

 

I am often finding that girls won't even give me a chance based on height. I'm one who likes to get to know someone. I like to see if we are compatible and get a long good before ruling someone else out. I don't rule a person out based on height, weight or appearance before getting to know them. I'd probably in fact have no problem dating a girl taller than me as I find my self attracted to athletic girls between 5'10" and 6'0" who have muscular legs and and a cute butt if the girl would give me the chance.

 

I'm 29 years old right now and all my girlfriends have been between 4'11" and 5'3". Any time I have asked out a girl taller than that, or tried to make communication on dating sites with a girl taller than that I so far to date have shut down on the basis of height.

 

For example, I recently asked out a girl I knew and was becoming friends with who is 5'6" and was told by her that she is 5'6", 5'10" in heels and couldn't date someone who she's taller than when she wears heels. She finds it rather awkward. Also back in college I once asked out a girl who was a little taller than me (The only girl I have ever asked out in person who is actually taller than me) and was also let down by her stating that she doesn't date shorter men and frankly she finds a guy being shorter than her a turn off and she wanted to stay friends and we continued to be good friends.

 

 

In terms of finding a girl on online dating sites it's even tougher. Pretty much every girl lists their preference of a guy being 6'0".

 

On one site there was this girl who was 5'2" who was really beautiful, and into all the same things I was, including bands and going to concerts. But in her about section she listed "you should only contact me if you are at least 6 feet tall, have dark hair, love the out doors and going to concerts" or something similar to that. I tried contacting her anyways figuring I wouldn't be ruled out based on height alone because other than height, we were pretty much a perfect match in terms of interests and the compatibility tests results the site gave us. But of course I was wrong. The girl just messaged me back asking me if I knew how to read and quoted the section of her profile saying "you should only contact me if" and bolding the part that says "you are at least 6 feet tall".

 

 

I have run into the same results on tinder as well. For example, yesterday a girl matched with me and one of her first questions was "how tall are you?" Her about section listed her as 5'5" and I don't have my height listed. When I answered with "a little over 5'8"" she responded with "bye" and unmatched us.

 

I know not ever girl out there would rule a guy out based on height standards they have or don't even care about height. There are even some girls out there who have no problem dating a guy they are taller than but I certainly haven't met one of these girls yet.

 

 

Why do so many girls seem to have a standard of a taller guy around 6 feet or won't be in a relationship if they are taller than them when wearing heels. And it's not just the taller girls ruling me out based on height, it's a lot of shorter girls as well. I live in a rural area and there are usually only 10 to 20 people listed online within a 30 mile radius of me and unfortunately for me most of them at this time seem to have a height standard that is taller than me.

 

 

 

Has any other guys experienced this and have any tips on getting around it.

 

Girls, do you have any input on why a lot of girls have such high standards when it comes to height. Also would you date someone only a couple inches taller than you or shorter than you or would you rule them out before giving them a chance?

[Hawaii51]

Because being short is a genetic inferiority to some people.

[Male]

Taller men may be seen as more dominant and assertive. In evolutionary terms, a larger man may have been able to provide more protection to their offspring, have greater genetic qualities to pass on to their future children, and thus may be awarded with greater social status. In line with this idea that height is an indicator of good evolutionary success, researchers found that taller men were more likely to have at least one biological child compared to shorter men. Culture also plays a big part in what we like and what is valued in society. Women may learn to value men who are rewarded in society. For example, taller men may be seen as more powerful and attractive, so women who are with taller men benefit by attaining a higher social status. In addition, if height signals physical dominance, it is likely that taller men make women feel smaller, protected, and perhaps more “feminine” as well. In line with this idea, research has found that women with more “traditional” gender role expectations were less willing to date shorter me.

 

 

Why Do Women All Seem to Want Taller Men? - eHarmony Advice

Edited March 26, 2015 by Male

[RenegadeMonster]

Taller men may be seen as more dominant and assertive. In evolutionary terms, a larger man may have been able to provide more protection to their offspring, have greater genetic qualities to pass on to their future children, and thus may be awarded with greater social status. In line with this idea that height is an indicator of good evolutionary success, researchers found that taller men were more likely to have at least one biological child compared to shorter men. Culture also plays a big part in what we like and what is valued in society. Women may learn to value men who are rewarded in society. For example, taller men may be seen as more powerful and attractive, so women who are with taller men benefit by attaining a higher social status. In addition, if height signals physical dominance, it is likely that taller men make women feel smaller, protected, and perhaps more “feminine” as well. In line with this idea, research has found that women with more “traditional” gender role expectations were less willing to date shorter me.

 

 

Why Do Women All Seem to Want Taller Men? - eHarmony Advice

 

 

Thanks for the link, that was an interesting read.

 

It also seems to point out that shorter girls have the most guys available to pick from, and thus are often more picked about who they pick.

 

It seems to generally focus on girls like a taller guy than them selves in general. And not so much on girls having preferences for guys being 6 feet tall or ruling out guys within a few inches of their height in which they may be taller than when wearing heels. It would be interesting to hear what I girl would have to say the heel factor. Is it important for them they they be taller than their parent when in heals too. Or is that just the luck I have been running into so far.

[ascendotum]

Wanting a guy taller I get. Insisting on a guy a lot taller less so, but that's the way it is for many,especially online where you are your photo & specifications. Buy some boots or cuban heel shoes, so the next time some girl says you are not good enough for her because she is same height or taller because of her stilettos, you can so no she wont, in your boots you will be looking down on her. As for that girl on Tinder giving you shortshift, you should have not given your height and just said 'don't worry I'm plenty taller than you'. Its only 3.5" but when women are a few inches taller than a guy they call it towering over them. lol

[Moy]

Woman wanting a tall man = Darwinism at work, the natural need for a protector which dates backs to tribalism.

 

Man wanting a woman with (equally Darwinistic) healthy child bearing hip-waist ratio- OMG BODY SHAMING!!

 

I had a woman tell me on POF that she was taller than me in heels. I responded by reminding her that she was wider than me in her bare feet. She went ballistic. I loved it!

 

People generally have the gall to ask for what they can't have from behind a keyboard because in real life they'd be told to f*** off back into line!

[elaine567]

It seems to generally focus on girls like a taller guy than them selves in general. And not so much on girls having preferences for guys being 6 feet tall or ruling out guys within a few inches of their height in which they may be taller than when wearing heels. It would be interesting to hear what I girl would have to say the heel factor. Is it important for them they they be taller than their parent when in heals too. Or is that just the luck I have been running into so far.

 

Get off OLD and think up ways to meet women in real life and stay away from girls less than 25, unless you can get to know them well.

OLD makes it easy for girls to tick the >6 foot box and to turn down those that do not make the grade.

20-25 year olds can usually have their pick and some are pretty scathing too, especially online, so do not get involved in that fight, you will lose.

5 foot 8-9 is not short and about average really.

Anyone who is just concerned about heels is not the kind of girl you need anyway.

[Moy]

Get off OLD and think up ways to meet women in real life and stay away from girls less than 25, unless you can get to know them well.

OLD makes it easy for girls to tick the >6 foot box and to turn down those that do not make the grade.

20-25 year olds can usually have their pick and some are pretty scathing too, especially online, so do not get involved in that fight, you will lose.

5 foot 8-9 is not short and about average really.

Anyone who is just concerned about heels is not the kind of girl you need anyway.

 

Sage advice here! OLD is not a good market.

[Toodaloo]

All I will say is for goodness sake please do not lie about your height.

 

I recently met a fantastic guy. But he had lied about his height. Its not something you can hide. I hadn't even looked at the height until after agreeing to meet him... If a person can tell lies about such a basic fundamental thing what else are they going to lie about?

 

I like taller men. But I prefer honesty...

 

Next one I have agreed to meet is also short at 5ft4 (shorter than me). I don't get on so well with him but at least he is honest. So we shall see!

[haribogumsnickers]

The lack of height was transferred to your kick stand below.

[fitnessfan365]

I'm 5'11" and am confident enough not to round up to 6ft.

 

It's funny though because guys must lie about their height all the time online because one of the first things women always say is "You're actually as tall as you claim to be". The most entertaining for me recently was reading Toodaloo's post about how a guy claiming to be 6'2" was 5'4" in person. He didn't think that she'd notice?

[RenegadeMonster]

I was about to reply with what is OLD until I figured out it's means Online Dating.

 

I have actually just started giving OLD a chance and really have not used it in the past. I'm still looking for girls outside of OLD.

 

The reason I turned to OLD is last November I moved to a really rural area. There aren't really any places to meet a girl. The town I live in doesn't have a single store, gas station, church, bar / restaurant so I figured it wouldn't hurt to give OLD a chance to try to meet new people.

 

 

I have to agree as some said it seems like girls are more selective / picky on OLD sitting behind their computer.

[orangetree]

I don't wear high heels (unless I have to go to someone's wedding), so that's not a valid point for me. I usually just find taller men more attractive, and maybe I even feel more protected (although that's bull**** of course because 1. nobody has to protect me nowadays 2. Being tall doesn't mean being stronger). BUT I'm 5'7 tall, so I'm not the shortest girl out there, therefore I prefer dating men 6'0 or taller.

 

BUT I should mention- My brother is only 5'7. Him and I are literally the same height. He's 31 now and he never ever had problems finding women who want to date him. He might be short, but he's very smart, fun and has a good sense of humor, plus he only dates short girls (for them, he's tall ).

[RenegadeMonster]

I'm 5'11" and am confident enough not to round up to 6ft.

 

It's funny though because guys must lie about their height all the time online because one of the first things women always say is "You're actually as tall as you claim to be". The most entertaining for me recently was reading Toodaloo's post about how a guy claiming to be 6'2" was 5'4" in person. He didn't think that she'd notice?

 

Lying about my height has never even crossed my mind. I have heard of people 5'11" rounding up to say 6 feet especially if they are 5'11.5" but for someone to round up a whole 10 inches that's just hilarious.

 

I'm not insecure about my height so I don't see the point or reasoning as to why to fib. But I am getting frustrated / annoyed recently at being shot down by a girl based on my height or her height in heels.

[barcode88]

Considering most Women are like 5'6 to 5'8 and most guys are at least 5'10 I don't see how its a problem. Even for shorter guys - there are a TON of girls who are 5'0 to 5'4... Being 6'2 myself I prefer girls who are at least 5'6, short girls can be awkward to handle lol.

[losangelena]

Well, why is weight often a dealbreaker for men?

[No_Go]

Sure, taller men are usually considered more attractive. So it MAY decrease your chances for FIRST dates via OLD. However, once you meet - it start to matter less and less (my experience: on paper I like 6' guys, in reality the men who I loved most were 5'8''-5'10''; height stop mattering after the chemistry kicks in..)

 

Just some pet peeves for shorter guys:

1)if they show that they are very insecure about it (confidence is attractive)

2)if they act controlling (throw away my heels - no way, if it bothers them so much the problem is 1))

3)if they lie about their height (come on, this is so lame thing to do in OLD)

 

And again, once attraction is there, the height stops being a factor.

 

I'm not tall, but I wouldn't say that I'm short either and close to average height being between somewhere between 5'8" and 5'9".

 

I am often finding that girls won't even give me a chance based on height. I'm one who likes to get to know someone. I like to see if we are compatible and get a long good before ruling someone else out. I don't rule a person out based on height, weight or appearance before getting to know them. I'd probably in fact have no problem dating a girl taller than me as I find my self attracted to athletic girls between 5'10" and 6'0" who have muscular legs and and a cute butt if the girl would give me the chance.

 

I'm 29 years old right now and all my girlfriends have been between 4'11" and 5'3". Any time I have asked out a girl taller than that, or tried to make communication on dating sites with a girl taller than that I so far to date have shut down on the basis of height.

 

For example, I recently asked out a girl I knew and was becoming friends with who is 5'6" and was told by her that she is 5'6", 5'10" in heels and couldn't date someone who she's taller than when she wears heels. She finds it rather awkward. Also back in college I once asked out a girl who was a little taller than me (The only girl I have ever asked out in person who is actually taller than me) and was also let down by her stating that she doesn't date shorter men and frankly she finds a guy being shorter than her a turn off and she wanted to stay friends and we continued to be good friends.

 

 

In terms of finding a girl on online dating sites it's even tougher. Pretty much every girl lists their preference of a guy being 6'0".

 

On one site there was this girl who was 5'2" who was really beautiful, and into all the same things I was, including bands and going to concerts. But in her about section she listed "you should only contact me if you are at least 6 feet tall, have dark hair, love the out doors and going to concerts" or something similar to that. I tried contacting her anyways figuring I wouldn't be ruled out based on height alone because other than height, we were pretty much a perfect match in terms of interests and the compatibility tests results the site gave us. But of course I was wrong. The girl just messaged me back asking me if I knew how to read and quoted the section of her profile saying "you should only contact me if" and bolding the part that says "you are at least 6 feet tall".

 

 

I have run into the same results on tinder as well. For example, yesterday a girl matched with me and one of her first questions was "how tall are you?" Her about section listed her as 5'5" and I don't have my height listed. When I answered with "a little over 5'8"" she responded with "bye" and unmatched us.

 

I know not ever girl out there would rule a guy out based on height standards they have or don't even care about height. There are even some girls out there who have no problem dating a guy they are taller than but I certainly haven't met one of these girls yet.

 

 

Why do so many girls seem to have a standard of a taller guy around 6 feet or won't be in a relationship if they are taller than them when wearing heels. And it's not just the taller girls ruling me out based on height, it's a lot of shorter girls as well. I live in a rural area and there are usually only 10 to 20 people listed online within a 30 mile radius of me and unfortunately for me most of them at this time seem to have a height standard that is taller than me.

 

 

 

Has any other guys experienced this and have any tips on getting around it.

 

Girls, do you have any input on why a lot of girls have such high standards when it comes to height. Also would you date someone only a couple inches taller than you or shorter than you or would you rule them out before giving them a chance?

[Toodaloo]

I'm 5'11" and am confident enough not to round up to 6ft.

 

It's funny though because guys must lie about their height all the time online because one of the first things women always say is "You're actually as tall as you claim to be". The most entertaining for me recently was reading Toodaloo's post about how a guy claiming to be 6'2" was 5'4" in person. He didn't think that she'd notice?

 

I know I am dappy but not that dappy. I towered over him in my flip flops... I only just get 5ft 5...

 

After him bleating on like a stuck record about how honest I am and how its so important to juts damn right lie about something so obvious is just stupid...

 

If he had said I am 5ft 4 I would have still gone out with him as he seemed like a great bloke. But now... I will not be seeing him again.

 

As Peg Nose says don't believe anything they say until you meet them.

[markleymassraff]

For me it's that I've been spoiled. I'm not that tall but most of the men I've been involved with have been 5'11" to 6'. I would be lying if I said I didn't prefer that over 5'8" to 5'9" or 5'6" to 5'7".

[RenegadeMonster]

Considering most Women are like 5'6 to 5'8 and most guys are at least 5'10 I don't see how its a problem. Even for shorter guys - there are a TON of girls who are 5'0 to 5'4... Being 6'2 myself I prefer girls who are at least 5'6, short girls can be awkward to handle lol.

 

Actually, this height statement is not true.

 

Most guys are not at least 5'10. The average height for men is 5'9" or 5'10" based on the country, and shorter in third world nations. This means that more than half of men are shorter than 5'10"

 

And the average height for women is 5'4".

 

I also saw a poll when looking up height that showed that most women consider a guy "short" if they are 5'10" or less.

 

 

I don't believe in limited my options based on a girls height. I shouldn't have to only ask out girls 4 or more inches shorter than me to be able to get a date. If I just settle with that option I could be pulling out the the love of my life who is lets say 5'7".

[SawtoothMars]

Well, why is weight often a dealbreaker for men?

 

As my cousin who is wealthy and single for the last 12 years can attest... weight is much more often a dealbreaker for women.

 

I've never met a fat girl that can't get laid. Heck most I know have multiple children. My sisters friend is 450 lbs... with 3 kids and a BF. Yet my cousin gets shot down even by morbidly obese women....

 

Sure, taller men are usually considered more attractive. So it MAY decrease your chances for FIRST dates via OLD. However, once you meet - it start to matter less and less (my experience: on paper I like 6' guys, in reality the men who I loved most were 5'8''-5'10''; height stop mattering after the chemistry kicks in..)

Just some pet peeves for shorter guys:

1)if they show that they are very insecure about it (confidence is attractive)

2)if they act controlling (throw away my heels - no way, if it bothers them so much the problem is 1))

3)if they lie about their height (come on, this is so lame thing to do in OLD)

And again, once attraction is there, the height stops being a factor.

 

Seriously stop and think about what you are saying here. If every woman feels as you do... and most I believe do... Then you disadvantage or ignore men under 6', unless you get to know them. But you complain, if a guy lies to remove a disadvantage you put on him in the hopes he can get to know you and overcome your bias.

 

WTF Ladies? You have to realize how stupid this philosophy sounds? Not to say I don't understand why you do it...

[fitnessfan365]

I know I am dappy but not that dappy. I towered over him in my flip flops... I only just get 5ft 5...

 

After him bleating on like a stuck record about how honest I am and how its so important to juts damn right lie about something so obvious is just stupid...

 

If he had said I am 5ft 4 I would have still gone out with him as he seemed like a great bloke. But now... I will not be seeing him again.

 

As Peg Nose says don't believe anything they say until you meet them.

 

Hahahaha - "I towered over him in my flip flops". Classic.

 

Since I was 5'8" in the 7th grade, the doc said I'd end up being 6'2" or 6'3". Unfortunately I only grew another three inches. It sucked for me growing up though. I went through puberty starting at age 9. So by the time I was 15, I was like a 35 year old trapped in a teenager's body. That's why I could never relate to women my own age growing up and always got friend zoned in high school. But the weird thing is that I looked older when I was younger, now I look way younger than I am. Currently 34, but everyone always thinks I am 26 or 27.

[Justanaverageguy]

I'm pretty much same height and same age bracket. For me it has never been a huge issue and the last girl I dated probably changed my mind completely on the topic. My last 2 serious relationships were with girls the exact same height as me. Then the last girl I casually dated I met while traveling on a holiday and she was 2 or 3 inches taller at 6 foot. I hit on her and she told me from the get go I was too short. I don't normally go for taller girls ...... but I just had a real thing for her. That ended up being a little "in joke" between us which I used to flirt with her and tease her. The you're too short thing became our little back and forth and actually helped me close the deal.

 

Most girls say they want height ..... but 90% will also say they want broad shoulders, washboard abs and you to be from an exotic foreign country. Reality and ideals are very different things. Girls forget about height the instant you get them interested and attracted to you. While they may prefer to date tall guys in reality they really want to date confident, assertive, fun, interesting, successful guys who they connect with. Be those things and height normally becomes a non issue.

[RenegadeMonster]

As my cousin who is wealthy and single for the last 12 years can attest... weight is much more often a dealbreaker for women.

 

I've never met a fat girl that can't get laid. Heck most I know have multiple children. My sisters friend is 450 lbs... with 3 kids and a BF. Yet my cousin gets shot down even by morbidly obese women....

 

 

I have to agree with you on this. Sure there are guys who are complete asses and won't consider any girl who doesn't look like a model fat and would rule her out. But the vast majority of guys are not picky on weight. Weight isn't a deal breaker for me unless the women is a BBW. I an honestly say I would rule any BBW out on OLD but if I got to know one and we clicked it would give her a chance.

 

Most girls won't even give a second thought to dismissing a guy who is out of shape, overweight

 

 

Seriously stop and think about what you are saying here. If every woman feels as you do... and most I believe do... Then you disadvantage or ignore men under 6', unless you get to know them. But you complain, if a guy lies to remove a disadvantage you put on him in the hopes he can get to know you and overcome your bias.

 

WTF Ladies? You have to realize how stupid this philosophy sounds? Not to say I don't understand why you do it...

 

I have to agree with you in that I believe most women feel this way. Especially on OLD from what I have experienced so far. And it seems the shorter the girl the more picky that are. It seems girls standards are is they want a guy 6'0" or at least 5" to 6" taller than they are and rule guys out who don't meet that requirement before even given them a shot to get to know them. However, I also feel from personal experience, that girls who get to know a guy outside of OLD will give a guy outside of that range a shot more often than not. I have also noticed, the taller the girl, they don't care about how much taller a guy is. They just want a taller guy. If I search on lets say OKCupid and search for only taller girls in a wider distance range for laughs. I see that girls who are 6'0" don't care if they are taller than you in heals, most simply state I'm tall so you should be at least as tall as me. It also seems that taller girls as in 6'0" or taller are more likely to give a shorter guy a chance, but usually not much shorter than them selves.

[WomenWubber]

Honestly, I doubt any of the answers here will make a difference. Fact is women (just like men) are attracted to whatever they're atracted to. They can choose to date whoever they want. You cannot change that and you cannot change your height. It's out of your control, so why bother trying to dwell on it?

 

If you absolutely don't want to lower your chances, you should seek to improve yourself in any way possible (weight, grooming, clothes, wealth, etc).

 

Forget about your height.